Cheese Ball

For years. I wish I had kept count. I do know that I have dozens of little glass Kraft Old English jars in my cupboards. Dozens. I would give them away, I even threw a few away. Cringe. Solid glass. They make great juice glasses. Two ingredients in my cheese ball. Two. Not counting the walnuts and maraschino cherry. Kraft Philadelphia cream cheese and Kraft Old English jar cheese. With a dark blue lid.

You will see some recipes that add garlic salt and Worcestershire sauce. All are okay, but I find out you really don't need them. I always serve my cheese balls with Keebler's Club crackers. They are the firmest cracker that will withstand a cheese spreader pushing on it. Ritz and Townhouse crumble under the pressure. They taste just as good, but club crackers are tougher.

I have discovered that it isn't worth walking into a party or a get together sans cheese ball. I can't handle the look of disappointment on some folks faces. Because it is so darn easy for me to make one, I just take one, regardless. The very few times I have been asked "Did you bring your cheese ball?", and I didn't, just to see their faces fall - reminds me each and every time. Just do it. Just make one. Sometimes it does not turn out very well, but they don't care. It usually tastes the same. The one above came out near perfect. The weather has to be right. Maybe the ingredients have to be fresh. I have to leave the cheese out just the right amount of time before I mix them together. Too long and I will have soup. I have to leave it uncovered in the refrigerator just the right length of time or it will have a hard crusty edge. Yuck.

This is for tomorrow's cook-out at my sister's house. I am travelling to another sister's house today for a visit. We are going to make a fruit pizza to take to the cook-out. I have never made one, so I hope to take pictures.

Tabor's post for Saturday, May 24th reminds me of the chapter I read in "Charlie Wilson's War" by George Crile. Seems Charlie drank too much one evening and drove to his townhouse. Leaving Washington D.C. towards Virginia he hit another vehicle. He kept driving to his townhouse. He had to look out his driver's side window to see the road. That is how smashed up the front end of his car was.

Beside the fact that this is a horrible act of irresponsibility (especially for a man of Congress), what bothered me the most was how it was handled. Or, how it wasn't. He was scheduled to fly out of the country the next day. He hid from the police by not answering his door. He called his assistants (or whatever they were) and it was swept under the rug. The driver of the other car was not injured. I think. It wasn't real clear. His car was smashed up pretty bad and Charlie's people paid for the damage. Charlie laughed about it later. I have only followed the next chapter where he gets to go on out of the country as scheduled. It appears as if nothing happened at all. Not a thing was done to this S.O.B. This was NOT in the movie.

Get this. "Federal law prohibits local authorities from arresting a national legislator on his way to or from Congress." When Charlie called his lawyer from his townhouse (while the police were banging on his door) the lawyer advised him to drive directly to Congress the next morning and they couldn't touch him. Then there was a fine line about hitting the car in one police station's jurisdiction and his townhouse being located in another. Wilson had friend's on the police department. He told them that he was saving the world from Communism and HAD to catch the plane in the morning and that there might be substantial raises in store for the District police. Charlie recounted this statement years later and laughed about it.

The Pentagon provided an escort officer to take him to his plane. His administrative assistant handled everything for him. He told the police and the press and the boy who was driving the car that "Charlie thought he'd hit a bridge railing and came on home." Which means that the Congressman would NOT have checked to see if the driver of the car was okay. Wilson laughed later saying that the kid was new in town and didn't know that he could have really caused some problems for him.

Oh, and the administrative assistant? He finally had it with Charlie. He moved along to another position later. He had fixed everything for Mr. Charlie Wilson one too many times.

This sickens me. I said it after I watched the movie and thought maybe I would feel different after I read the book. So far, I don't. "Charlie Wilson is NO hero."

Peeking Gato

42 days ago I was packing my sister's crap up. Gato was supposed to help me, remember? Well, here he is, goofing off. "Get out of there, Gato!"

My computer at home is acting wonky. My video card died on my Linux server at work. Or, something. I connected my PC monitor to the server and it did the same thing. The graphics are gone and completely screwed up. I set up a Linux server and learned just enough so that I could get a web page running and ftp. I went to load java on the browser and it all went downhill from there. Crapola. I never had the graphics right anyway. Not that into Linux troubleshooting.

My daughter passed her permit test today. I told her if she got her permit, I'd let her get her nails done. Talk about Mama bird pushing the baby out of the nest. I am reduced to bribing. She chose black nail polish. Then she went job hunting at the mall. All the ones who were listed as hiring told her "Go on-line and fill out an application. We don't give out paper applications anymore."

She refuses to work around food. Tell me about it. I can barely get her to make her own macaroni and cheese. The one time I went to show her how to bake a frozen pizza she dropped it between the inside of the oven and the oven door. How the heck? It wasn't easy, but she managed to slide it right between and the pizza ended up (still frozen) sliding into the door on the bottom. Yeah. A real disaster in the kitchen.

While waiting at the mall I started reading "Bringing Down the House." So much more interesting than "Charlie Wilson's War." But, I am still reading it, too.

Bringing Down the Ho

What a title for my blog, eh? Well, that is the e-mail from my library. I had reserved another book from one of the movies I saw last month. "21" is based on the book "Bringing Down the House". They abbreviated. I found that amusing where they decided to cut the word off.

Here is another shot of my shrubs before they were trimmed. This is the long shot going up the front sidewalk. He couldn't cut back too much because there is a lot of dead brush underneath. He was afraid he would kill them. He especially made some room for the azaleas to breathe. See how the one on the left is scrunched up?

I am plodding through the middle of "Charlie Wilson's War." I am at the boring part where the author is giving background information on some of the CIA members. I need to wrap up that book and dig into the one I picked up today. I didn't even crack "Schindler's List", yet. I know the movie was titled "list" but I thought that I read somewhere the book was "Schindler's Ark." Huh.

June looks to be full of graduation parties. Some years I have more than others. A big wedding coming up in October. We've been waiting for this couple to marry for a long time. My nephew is a perfectionist. I guess he wanted to wait until he graduated college and obtained a more stable job. The girlfriend pushed the "ultimatum" button last winter and she got her ring at Christmas. Well, it must have been good luck for him. He just graduated with a Mechanical Engineering degree (with distinction) and landed a brand new job.

I went grocery shopping this evening. I tried to cut back and buy smarter. I've been so annoyed with prices that I have put off going for a while. So, we were out of a lot of stuff. So much for savings. Reminds me of the 80's when I first moved out of state away from family and had to watch every penny at the grocery store. Gas was cheap back then. I try to break up my shopping. Dairy, fruit, canned goods and vegetables at the grocery store. Boxed goods and toiletries at the Wallet-mart, and meat at the meat store. If I go on separate days I spread it out over a period of time instead of punching a hole in the checkbook all at one stop.

Sigh. Almost everybody is pinching all over America. We are a bruised nation. I can see the other countries now, throwing their heads back and sniffing, saying to themselves "It's about time America felt some pain!" We are the "preps" at school who are finally getting theirs.

Before the trimming

Here are the front bushes before they were trimmed on Saturday. I don't have the "after" photos yet. I need to get out there tomorrow or this week to get those. It looks like a beautiful week-end coming up. I am booked every day except for Monday. Shh. Don't tell. I imagine I will have my nephew and daughter here and we will cook on the grill. That's okay. That I can do.

The gazing ball in the middle was made for me by a good friend. The base has chipped away. She told me I could leave it out all year long. :( The ball is still beautiful and perfect but it is attached to the base. They are ceramic. I have no idea how to separate them without destroying the ball.

Of course when I do outside work, inside work gets neglected and vice versa. I just got my kitchen cleaned up for the umpteenth time. It seems like I just can't keep up with it all and work full time too. Don't even look at my car. I took it in today for a new timing belt and meant to clean it out before letting the garage have it all day. Oh my. It was messy.

Poppy pod

One set of poppies will be blooming shortly and there are about 15 pods on the plants. I hope at least 10 bloom at the same time. Big bright orange blossoms. My peonies are coming along also. My azaleas were great this year.

I can barely move. Did a lot of yard work today. Put another hydrangea in the ground and flooded both my older plant and the new one with the the sulfur that will hopefully make them very blue. I'll take pictures if they bloom.

I have notified all family and friends that our town is setting off fireworks on Saturday the 5th this year and to mark it on their calendars. I want them to make it if they can.

My daughter and I watched "Boys Don't Cry" this week-end. I don't really like movies like this. I do think that Swank did an outstanding job portraying a boy. It bothers me that there are still folks that treat others so cruelly.

Baby of Audrey II

My peonies remind me of the blood-sucking plant from "Little Shop of Horrors". I have titled this one the baby of Audrey II. We like this movie. Levi Stubbs, the lead singer of The Four Tops played the voice of Audrey II. "Feed me! Feed me!"``

I received a letter from my sister. Sure enough, as soon as she is tucked away behind bars, the wife of the father of her daughter (the child with autism) files for adoption papers. My sister has access to a dinky typewriter and the number "1" does not work, so she mailed me the letter and asked me to re-type it. Which I did without hesitation.

Still dark and wet here in Ohio. I have flowers to plant, maybe tomorrow. A lot going on this week and the weather is not co-operating. I guess I'll be planting in the rain.

I am off to Amish country tonight to feast and shop. I doubt that I'll purchase anything, though. After purchasing the gas and my meal, I'd better save my money to pay bills. I'll still have a good time because I will be with great friends.

An interesting sentence from "Charlie Wilson's War":

"A bizarre mix of unsophisticated weapons was being handed over to tribesmen in sandals with no formal military training." (mujahideen).

And, this one:

"CIA strategists accepted the invasion as an unfortunate, irreversible fact of life."

Us Country Folk

I met my sister after work today and we went to a little fair in a nearby town. She worked at the Post Office there today and found out they were having their little town fair this week. She told me to meet her and we would go down, get some fair food and listen to the evening entertainment which was a Lip Syncing contest.

Even before the show this girl stood out. She had just come down the big slides. She won the lip syncing contest. Guess what song? Hank Juniors "A Country Boy Can Survive." She was cute.

I was going to work through my lunch today - just because I didn't want to go anywhere and I checked my personal e-mail. The library had notified me that "Charlie Wilson's War" was waiting for me. I booked it for the library (like that? My Mom would) and picked it up. I started reading it and could hardly put it down to go back to work.

I left it in the car and I suppose after my computer work is caught up I'll retrieve it and read until probably midnight tonight or so.

Here is something weird and off the wall. I dreamt that I had sex with Simon Crowell last night. I don't normally say the "F" word, but WTF?! I don't even watch American Id0l.

Ugh, sorry. I just Googled his picture. Not pretty. My deep fried veggies are trying to come back up. And, it is Cowell, I guess. Cripes. I slept with the man, you would think I could get his name right. LOL!

Glorious

My magenta azaleas are blooming all out this year for the first time in six years! I trimmed them back a good bit last fall and I guess maybe that is was did the trick. I dunno. I'll do the same this year hoping that I have found the key. My Mom didn't grow azaleas.

I have a new azalea bush to plant (my daughter got me for Mother's Day). It's a beaut.

One Touch

I have mentioned before that I am a "Hard Sell." I am very skeptical. I see something on T.V. and I say "It doesn't work like that!" More or less trying to convince my daughter not to fall for any sale pitch.

At a friend's house I had the chance to use the above can opener. I ran out and bought one. So much for my wisdom, eh? It works differently than any other opener I have owned. It removes the entire rim from the can. I sit the opener on top of the can and push the big black button. It starts itself, it moves itself and it stops itself. I found out at my friend's house not to even bother touching it until it stops itself. I tried to stop it and it would not let go of the lid. Now, I just push the button and forget about it until it stops. I pick the opener up with the lid and it drops the lid.

The can is a little funky afterwards though. It loses it's shape a bit without the rim of the lid. It is kind of cardboardy and wobbly. I think that it promises no sharp edges, but I have not tested it yet. I am still a newbie with it.

Dinner tonight: Tuna Noodle casserole. No peas. What the heck?

Facing me

The Eagle is not facing an olive branch or a talon of arrows. It is facing me. How long can I try to dodge it's gaze? This one looks a little weary and sad.

I couldn't get the book "Charlie Wilson's War" from the library. I had to order it from another. I am second on the list to reserve it. I did pick up a couple I wanted to read or at least look over. Along with that a couple of books on managing people and one bio of Rain Pryor. "Fair Game" by Valerie Plame Wilson and "Schindler's List".

Tired Hands

There are so many things a Mother does. Being the youngest of 8 here are some "mom" stories I recall. My Mom was born in 1920 in a log cabin in WV. This was pretty much "country folk." Her Mother did not marry. My Mom was not pleased when I chose the same route. I did not leave my child for my parents to raise, however where hers did. This post is not about me.

My Mom grew up on a farm where they raised lambs. Her grandfather was a no-nonsense farmer and didn't think twice about killing off any unwanted puppies or kittens in a harsh and barbarian way.

My Mother only used an automatic washing machine at the Laundromat. Or rather, the type we are familiar with. She used a washboard early on. My oldest sister married in the late 60's and her husband worked for the H00ver company. They purchased a little washing machine that my mom used for 30 some years. It was avocado green.

I found this photo on the web at www.automaticwasher.org. Kudos to them for the memory. The green you see inside was the color of the unit my Mom had in her kitchen.

I literally had to wrestle this job from her in the early 80's. My Mom never let us do much in the kitchen. I am not exactly sure why. Basically the only cooking job I had was to mash the potatoes for Sunday dinner. I remember that if my Mom boiled the potatoes in the black coated pot, I had trouble keeping the black flecks out of the potatoes. Most of the time we used cheap, aluminum pots and iron skillets.

I can remember my Mom hauling the clothes out of the washing bin and into the spinner on the right. She was not a large woman. Her clothes were tiny and light. Her children's were another story. I can only imagine how she felt washing jeans. I remember the smell of Lestoil she would use on my brother's jeans and work clothes.

She did have an automatic dryer in the kitchen. (Also in avocado green!) On wash days she would wheel the little portable washing machine on wheels over to the kitchen sink and wash away. I remember mornings waking up to the sound of that spinner and it shaking the house. She always reached her hand in to get the clothes out before the dang thing stopped spinning. And she let the hose drain into the sink instead of back into the washing bin. She said the clothes were too dirty to do that. I can still see the gray bent hose pumping the water out, purging it into our kitchen sink.

And I will never forget the smell of water that has sat in a rubber tube for a week.

Thank you to all who had made the job of washing clothes easier for Mom's and everybody else.

Blow 'em a kiss

I watched "Charlie Wilson's War". Of course, now I want to read the book. A couple of months ago I watched "The Kingdom" and more recently "Iron Man". The latter hitting on the subject of selling weapons of mass destruction.

Charlie mentioned titles such as Charlie's Angels, Dr. Dirty, the Liberal from Lufkin, Mujahideen, and above is a sample of the car Ms. Herring drives around Houston - red Jaguar convertible. She said somebody flipped her off and she just blew them a kiss. How utterly prissy. What a parade queen.

How easy it must have been for those raised in such wealthy and lavish conditions to visit poor Afghanistan and wave their magic wands. Dust off the sand and dirt upon returning to America on their multi-million dollar jets and getting back into their bubbly hot tubs and in-ground pools.

The movie makes me hate politics even more. Oily, drunken, greedy liars. I don't find anything heroic about Charlie Wilson. I'll read the book and perhaps I'll change my mind. The Ms. Herring was even more of a disaster. Let her drive her red jaguar convertible on the dusty roads of Afghanistan and blow them a kiss.

Who in the world thought that Julia Roberts should play Herring? I see nothing similar about them at all. It looks like Roberts was trying to parody her Ocean's role. Dress up and act rich. She is built like a leggy colt with strong facial features, not a dainty and uppity socialite with a little doll's face.

Soon to be orange

My tiger lilies will soon be bright orange. For now they are bright green. I have somebody bringing a truck full of mulch in for my front and side yard area. He will also trim the bushes for the first time since I moved here. That should be some job. Well, I did trim them the first two years, but with hand held clippers. Not electric. Hopefully, they will get a good clean trim. I should do a before and after.

My azaleas are brighter this year. I trimmed them down a good bit last fall. I didn't even get the chance to give them fertilizer. I wonder - is it too late?

I have a regional meeting tomorrow about 75 minutes away. Ugh. I don't want to go. I have to be there at 8:30 in the morning. There will be one highlight. A new tech person is going to speak about DNS. This ought to be good.

Empty hand

As if saying "Hey! I can hold another chip in this hand."

A year ago I attended a derby party held outside. This photo was taken a year ago today. Or tomorrow. I can't recall if the properties of the photo depict the date the picture was taken or the date I uploaded it to my computer.

My daughter and I have been reading famous and funny eulogies on the web. It stems from a school project she is doing. Some I have seen before. What is really strange are the "last words" if you can believe them.

Like Billy the Kid's were "Who is it?"

How bizarre is that?!

And Princess Diana's were "What happened?"

Really?

Or, James Dean's was "That guy's got to stop... he'll see us."

Are they true? I don't know.

Well, I am sure there are stranger ways to spend a Tuesday evening at home.

Good Golly

I mowed today and have a bit of a headache. After mowing we watched AFV where I literally laughed my head off. It's true. It fell off and rolled across the floor. My daughter had to pick it up and put it back on my neck. It has been hurting ever since. That's right folks. Laughing hurts.

My sister came up yesterday and we hit a derby/birthday party yesterday. We arrived too late for the derby since we have to travel the farthest. I am kind of glad I missed this one. Heartbreaking what I heard about the one horse.

It was a good crowd with good food and spirits.

Movies

While looking for a picture of my bird, Peru to post, I came across a video and I thought to myself, 'Hey. You have not uploaded a video yet.' So, here we are. Very boring.

Saw Iron Man last night. Very good. I liked it. I have always liked RD Jr. Actually, I have only seen him in a couple of movies so there you have that for what it is worth. Home For the Holidays and maybe one more.

The movie is about a businessman who manufactures and sells weapons of mass destruction. When he is demonstrating his latest and greatest in the caves of a Mideastern country his party is ambushed and all are killed except for him. He is up close and personal with a rocket that is going to blow up and ironically he sees the name of his company on the weapon before it explodes. During his 3 month ordeal as a prisoner he changes form the self-centered and selfish brat of a rich playboy to a humanitarian. Realizing that his weapons are actually falling into the wrong hands he decides to change his ways and try to fix some of the damage that has been done.

My very favorite line in the movie is when his dedicated secretary (played by Gwyn P) brings the clothes of his latest one-night stand and tells her that Tony is at work and here are her clothes freshly dry-cleaned. In other words "Get out honey, your purpose here is over." The tart jibes that this secretary is still picking up Tony's dry cleaning. To which Gwyn's character retorts "I do whatever Tony needs me to do, and sometimes that includes taking out the trash." Ouch!

My daughter had read on-line a bit telling us to stay after the credits for a surprise. (Spoiler ahead) It was Tony Stark (RD's character) coming home and walking into a dimly lit room and seeing somebody in the shadow. That person spoke and when he came into the light you could see that it was Samuel Jackson. Looks like they are already planning a sequel.

Day 2

Here is my office window. I am on day 2 of a migraine. I took Imitrex yesterday morning about 5:30 a.m. I guess I'll take another one. I have a dr. appointment in 30 minutes. I figure let her see me with my migraine eyes. They look every second of their 47.9 years, and then some.

First hair cut

My grand nephew had his first hair cut the other day. Two years old. He is holding the car keys. That is the equivalent of his security blanket. He also likes cell phones and will have nothing to do with the toy versions. It has to be the real thing.

Another wallpaper

Another wallpaper from my new collection.

Medical Insurance

Here is another desktop wallpaper that I downloaded a week or so ago.

I received in the mail yesterday the bill for my daughter's anesthesia. The original charge was for $880.00. My Medical Megachew paid $488.67. The "Anesthesia , Inc." then adjusted the bill and subtracted $297.00, leaving me with a $94.33 balance to pay.

I wonder. How does this "adjustment" policy work? Do they jack up the price and see what the insurance company is going to pay and then bring it back down to the "normal" charge? What the hell is the adjustment? Maybe I'll call and ask them just to see what their explanation is.

Never mind. I found an explanation:

5. Why did my billing statement have an adjustment amount?
"Adjustment" (discount) refers to the portion of your bill that your hospital or doctor has agreed not to charge. Insurance companies pay hospital charges at discounted rate. The amount of the discount is specific to each insurance company. When the insurance company pays their portion, the discounted amount (adjustment) is taken off to show the true amount due from the patient (co-insurance). For example, a hospital may charge $10,000 for a surgery that your insurance has agreed to only pay $2,500. Of that $2,500, the patient would have to pay $500 if the patient's responsibility is 20%. After the insurance pays $2,000 and patient pays $500, the remaining $7,500 would be the adjustment.

It's criminal

Here is a photo of my basement shortly after I bought my house. We held the kids birthday parties down there because they were born in the cooler months. The outdoors was still too chilly to celebrate there. My daughter turned 17 earlier this month. It broke my heart that I could not be with her.

If somebody enters your home and assaults your child you have every right to defend them and knock the crap out of the criminal. You would call the police and have their carcass hauled away. But, when somebody (or a group of people) attack your child emotionally causing and intending to inflict pain, there isn't a heck of a lot you can do. Comfort, console.

We are talking 16 and 17 year olds. It isn't like I can call up Johnnie's Mom and whine "Johnnie hurt my daughter's feelings. She is crying inconsolably and no matter what I say she is hurt and she is asking me 'why me?' " Truthfully, I'd like to go and kick Johnnie and his friends' arses from here to Alaska. But there is this law protecting minors. I always told my daughter, you handle the 18 and unders and let me handle the ones over 18.

Some girl started a rumor about her and my daughter's boyfriend. My daughter was devastated. She got 3 of my daughter's so-called "friends" to back up her story. The boyfriend denied it, but it was a wild couple of nights. She tried very hard to get to the bottom of the matter, and we think we have. The nastiness of it all. I told her what I would do. I would have told them all to go to he!! and be done with the lot of them. But, she is not me. Thank goodness.

The green is beautiful

Yes, the green is beautiful. This one is from a back road during a summer a couple of years back. The green in my yard is beautiful, yet annoying. I cut the grass, now I am working around the edges on the weeds and overgrowth. It was very warm outside. I caved in and turned the air on when I came inside. Now I am cold. How spoiled we are.

The days pass quickly and are full of things to do. Insurance paperwork, bills to pay, kitchens to tidy up, debris in the living room. Pets to tend to. I took Sable (dog) to the vet the other day. She was tested for heart worm and being cleared of the disease, we began her preventative medicine. We also picked up some soft chews for her back legs. If it is arthritis, then this medicine has more to treat her with than the OTC brand I have been purchasing. She also got an allergy shot so hopefully she will be feeling quite well for the spring.

Work is also on the busy side, but just until mid-May. There are spurts of work here and there in my occupation but in this circumstance every school network must be audited and I was off for a month. My area has more schools than the others and I suppose I am going to have to break down and ask for help. I am stubborn in the fact that I want to do it all myself. Ah, well.

The calendar is quickly filling up with dinners and parties and cook-outs and get togethers. I seriously am considering staying put this summer because of the stupid gas prices. I have always complained that my yard always looks a mess because I am off visiting. Those who never visit anyone but want everyone to come to their house have the most beautiful lawns. What really cracks me up is when they don't stop working on their lawn when you come to visit and some even have the balls to hand you a rake or spade. Do they really need to ask me why I don't come to visit more often? Seriously!

Here's your sign

Well. I know it had been a while since I stayed in a motel room, but really. I know. I was beyond tired. There's my excuse. I came back to my room after a long day at the hospital with my nephew to discover that the lamp in my room didn't work. I called the front desk. "My lamp doesn't work, I need a new bulb." "Okay, I'll bring one up."

Stupid. I walked over to the hall and turned the light on with the switch. I called and cancelled the replacement bulb. I thought of asking her for a sign that I could hang around my neck, Jeff Foxworthy style. Then again, I wonder why she didn't suggest that I try the switch on the wall.

This was at the beginning of the month. I just found my camera and photos. I didn't take many pictures since most of my time was spent in the hospital. Their security was pretty tight, being a Children's hospital and all. Next to my nephew in the ICU was the tiniest baby. It was so sad.

One time I came out of the family room (stocked with sports furniture, t.v., kitchenette, washers/dryers, showers and a few computers) and witnessed a little girl racing down the hallway on a Big Wheelie. Her father lagged far behind. She gave me a whimsical look as she whizzed past. She stopped and turned at the cafeteria. I said to her father "She knows her way, huh?" He gave me a tolerant look. "We've been here for months." Oh.

I received our electric bill today. I said to my daughter "Hey! Our electric bill went down thirty dollars!" Oh. We weren't here. Another 'Here's your sign' moment.

I was able to mow the grass today. My little gas can was full. I wonder how much gas was when I filled it up. $2.65? It is $3.55 here today. To find the cheapest gas near you, go to www.gasbuddy.com. Choose your state, county and city.

Lazy fun

I didn't take this picture. I downloaded free wallpaper for my computer at home today. This was one of the abstract ones that I picked. It kind of makes me thirsty.

There are about 3 houses on our street that do not have their lawn mowed, yet. Me, my neighbor and the people directly across from us. I took my daughter to get some supplies for a school experiment and then we did grocery shopping. I collapsed when I got home. My daughter made fun of me in the grocery store. We can really make some funny noises when we are trying to suppress a cough. She would make me laugh. Laughing makes me cough. Coughing and/or laughing hard made my chest hurt. Remind me not to take my daughter with me when I am sick.

It was a very easy day at work. People left me alone. I am sure that they are all waiting until the same day to attack me with their needs.

My daughter is enjoying her birthday present.

General malaise

It all hit me today. I don't imagine I will be a ball of energy anytime soon, either.

Wax on

I washed and waxed this black demon today. (this photo is from about six months ago). I also washed and waxed a silver Stratus. I have a sunburn on the top of my head where my hair has become thin. I am not at home so I do not have my usual stuff that I would wear to protect myself. Ahhh. 24 hours, no?

My sister said that when I come to pick up my daughter, how about if we have a girl's night and I spend the night? Is she for real? I have not been home (except for two nights last week-end) in three weeks. Forget that! I am going home and I am not going out other than for work and grocery shopping until my nephew comes down and we are all going to go and see "Ironman".

We saw "21" tonight. Pretty good. Now, I want to read the book. I may not be posting for the next couple of days. Not sure my arms are going to work. Wax on, wax off.

I caught it

A bad cold. Right in the middle of staying with my nephew. Who just had open-heart surgery. Certainly my germs cannot be good for him. I am trying to keep it clean. I keep wiping everything I touch with lysol wipes. Faucet handles. Doorknobs, cupboards, refrigerator handles.

We watched Alvin and the Chipmunks last night and Sweeney Todd tonight. Alvin was cute, and Todd was gruesome. Very dark and twisted.

We are planning to see "21" tomorrow night.

Sometimes

Sometimes I sit and I think that three days ago, I was doing this. And, I say to myself 'in that same amount of time, this will all be over.' Sometimes I have to say "in a week" or a month.

Tortoiseshell fur

This is Gato. My nephew's cat. I first called her a brindle, but now I realize that she is a tortoiseshell coated cat.

She adopted my nephew. Somebody removed her front claws.

She is a sweet one. She was supposed to be helping me clean, but she played while I worked. Here she is in an empty dresser drawer.

My sister's mess

Day one of the cleaning begins.

When my nephew scheduled his open heart surgery my sister was in jail. Jail is different than prison. Before her "ordeals" I did not know this. I thought they were one and the same. I have also discovered that this incident is number 10 for her.

So, now she is back in prison.

I told my nephew I would help him to clean up her stuff since he can't move very well or lift anything. In fact a walk tires him out. He is napping. I am trying to figure out how to cram her stuff into totes and/or boxes. Yet again. It is usually me or her son that cleans up her mess. Never her. She will complain to the person who "didn't" clean up that they threw all her stuff away. I say "Impossible." She has started over so many times, she should have a world record.



How can I put this? My sister keeps notebooks. Dozens of three-ring binders full of construction paper with photographs out of magazines. She goes through thousands of sheets of plastic page protectors. She has each one labeled by the year. I try not to look at them. She is obsessed with make-up and health ideas. Kind of ironic, isn't it? For someone who is an alcoholic. I have put about 26 bottles of old vitamins and mineral supplements down the garbage disposal today.

She has medications. I have no idea how they manage that in prison. I guess she sees a doctor, but I am not certain how soon. She certainly cannot take any with her.

She is a night owl. I have boxes of OTC sleep medications. Scarves, hair bands, trinkets, cheap costume jewelry. I swear she has a serious problem with lids. There are no lids on her lipsticks or eyeliners. Her make-up was probably purchased at the Good Will and bargain bins. She has pictures of herself everywhere. In sexy teddies, stuff like that. She never emptied her trash can, if stuff even made it to the trash. Certainly there must be a disorder for all of this mess.

Sigh. Back to it.

Fair weather

Fair weather is here.
Headache around the corner.
Can feel it coming.

Post surgery

It is very important that the patient keeps their lungs clear after open heart surgery. That cough. That pain. That agony. I cringe. I hear. I want the pain to stop. I worry. Above is a device that the patient uses to blow into so that they can keep the air pockets around their lungs open.

Halls of a hospital

Overheard in the hall.

"I have tried on 60 dresses. I was the only 18-year old bride-to-be who isn't pregnant."

"Sixty dresses?! Sixty!"

"Yes, sixty."

"I only tried on about 10 when I got married."

Wow.

Roller coast emotions

I am in the middle of a roller coaster. I am experiencing just about every emotion that can be felt. My family is notorious for burying their feelings. We don't do emotions very well.

I go from intense rage to the pits of despair. At one point today a Dr. brought in two doctors in training. He had them "attempt" to place an I.V. in the hand of my nephew. This would enable them to take the I.V. out of his jugular vein.

I got mad and left the room. Both doctors failed. My nephew is NOT a guinea pig or a pin cushion. I unloaded on a female doctor I found in the kitchen. I'll lay odds that male doctor does not show his face again for some time.

My other emotion that I am not used to experiencing is utter despair. My nephew had some complications last evening and it was after all my family had left. It was just me. I was on pins and needles. Every beep every cough every breath I was jerked into "what, what?" mode. Or, what now?

The song "Philadelphia" has the lyrics "Nobody's gonna save me, it's just you and me my friend."

There is nobody else. The responsibility lies with me. Why do I feel so sad? I feel so guilty about these feelings.

The evening before

I travelled today to my nephew's house. We are ready to get up and go in the morning. His surgery is scheduled second this time. The anesthesiologist talked to him during the testing today and gave him a rendition of what he think happened last time. His monitor was angled and when he turned his head to look, he must have moved his hand the slightest bit.

Ooookay.

Where the heart is

Christmas Past

I am going to guess 1987 for this photo. My nephew (having open heart surgery Tuesday) is the one circled in red. I am directly behind him. One of the rare years I did not have my hair dyed blond and my sister (his mother) is directly behind me. I have one brother in-law missing from the picture. I believe that he is on the far left of the frame holding his son (chubby in gold/white/blue). You can just see the top of one of my brother's head at the bottom. I believe a friend of the family was taking the photo. Two people from this photo have passed away. My Mom, in white (center right) and the fellow in blue with the moustache. He was my nephew's father (another brother-in-law).

Besides replacing a valve that was placed in my nephew's heart when he was a toddler, they are going to do what I believe is called Cardiac cryoablation. My memory is hazy and I am trying to make sense of notes I took on December 17th. From what I am reading this condition is common for those who have had Tetrology of Fallot. A question that has come up is "Will the team use the same anesthesiologist who made the previous mistake?"

My sister did not get her second continuance. The courts will only bend so far. It is not her fault that an error was made when the surgery was scheduled the first time, however she is a repeat offender and she has been in jail/prison numerous times. So much so, that the family stopped bailing her out. How many times were we supposed to pay for her lawyer, court costs, rehab, and many other monetary needs? When she first started down her path of misery, it was the late 80's and her children were very young. They were taken care of by their father and his Mom, along with my family. Every other year or so she was in prison. Out for nine months, in for two years. She was in prison when my Mom died and was not able to attend the funeral.

After a while, it just became routine. We could have been crass and started drawings on how long it would be before she was back in jail. She has the knack for finding desperate men who will supply her with money until they wise up to her. It is remarkable how long she can play them. It boggles the mind. I believe that some of the men never do wise up. They just "quit" her for a while. After a few years away she can weasel her way back into their lives. Amazing.

His sister will not be able to get the time away from college and her job to spend any significant amount of time with us. She was prepared to spend the entire week the first time around. We call it the "dry run". A lot of the original group do not have the time away from work and family life to give this time around. That leaves me with more of the load. My sister may not have been able to drive, but she could cook and clean up a storm and being his Mother would have been able to nurse a bit more comfortably than I. My niece can drive, but will be an unavailable two hours away. I won't be able to leave him alone. My nephew may be relieved that his "hovering" Mother is out of the picture, but as for me, she would have been a great help. But, that is that.

Back when

Here is Titten back in the day when she was smaller and cuter. It is hard to believe that she terrorizes the house today. Night and day. It is possible that she was taken from her Mother at too young of an age. She only goes in the litter box now, (thank goodness!) however, she gobbles her food and gets a bloated stomach. Well, we all know what a bloated stomach can do. Pass gas. And, this she does without abandon. She can clear a room.

For a homework assignment, my daughter had to watch a science fiction movie and answer questions about it. She chose "The Time Machine" 2002 edition. My nephew is a huge sci-fi fan and he gave the movie to us a few Christmases back. I adore Jeremy Irons, except not in this picture. Too creepy. It was fun reading the reviews from users about the movie. My daughter picked up some really good points from their comments and it helped her to answer the questions in her assignments.

This homeschooling is kind of good for us. I am off work until the middle of April and I have been very involved in her school work. We did an experiment together, this movie together and we have even been doing the math together. She would give me a problem and we would compare answers. I only wish that I had the Internet back in the 70's when I was learning how to multiply mixed fractions. Yuck!

We did miss the black out that we were supposed to do from 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. this evening. Darn it. We were reading the reviews of the movie and completely forgot.

I wanna go back

A long time ago, I had a daughter that smiled. Before the surgeries, before the boyfriend woes, before the school mess. A long time ago we had small bumps in the road and snags that left us depressed for a day or so.

Now, times have changed. We are sad and very depressed. I am trying to help, but I have a lot on my plate. My daughter feels damaged and very neglected by her boyfriend of 3 years. She had the most invasive surgery one can possibly imagine a teenager having. She had moles removed in her private areas (front and back) and another on her back. Could she get a phone call from the boyfriend? Not even. Nothing. No hug, no phone call, no words of encouragement, no questions to ask how she is feeling. Three years and this is what it has boiled down to. She spent thirty minutes ripping him a new one last night. I let her go. I felt that she needed to get this frustration out of her system.

As for me, I wouldn't waste my breath. I'd say "It's over." Hang up the phone and never speak to him again. But, that's me. She handled it differently. At sixteen she is close to having a relationship longer than I ever did. But this isn't about me.

My daughter is in pain. Physically and emotionally. Mama is mad as a wet hornet. She will let him back in. That is her way. I just hope she gets real tired of the neglect soon and finally dumps his ass.

The green, green grass of home

Ohio, May 2007

From 10 to 30 I usually had my head stuck inside a radio. Well, as close to a radio as I could get. My life revolved around music. When I had my daughter, the music stopped. All of my attention and listening devices were saved for that little baby girl. If there was music playing, I may miss a cry or a giggle. And that just wouldn't do. Now that my daughter is days away from 17 and listening to music of her own, I am easing back into the world of music.

The above photo reminds me of the tune performed by Tom Jones "Green, Green Grass of Home". It was written by Curly Putman who wrote a few other country favorites. I'd change the words to fit my life when I would sing along with the songs. Of course I didn't sing "...run down the road with my sweet Mary..." I think I used a horses' name when I sang it because that was my love when this song was a hit.

My daughter received an iPod when she began her homeschooling. So I get her used mp3 player. I can add iTunes gift cards to her Birthday and Christmas lists. My niece said that I can download iTunes for the mp3 player, also. I am a bit rusty on the newer music technology today. I'll catch up. What irks me a bit is that I cannot find some of my favorite artists music for sale. One artist in particular just does not sell his music this way, I guess. Of course what also irks me is that I purchased a favorite album when it was an LP in 33 rpm. I purchased it when it became a video cassette. I skipped purchasing it on a CD, but now I need to purchase it (or just the songs I like) in an mp3 format. It reminds me of the line that Tommy Lee Jones said in the movie "Men in Black". "I guess I'll have to purchase the White album again." Referring to the tiny disc format for music and the popular Beatles album.

Speaking of Tommy Lee Jones, we watched "No Country for Old Men." A bit bloody and gruesome. I watched it a second time and it wasn't so bad knowing when the spurting blood and gory scenes were coming. I could close my eyes or mute the television. I watched it the second time for the story line and to get parts that I missed. I also watched the bonus features that helped to erase some of the ghastly things that they did. To hear them speak as normal people talking about their characters, sort of minimized the horror for me.

We also watched "August Rush." Somebody had gushed about this movie to me. I was disappointed. It didn't move me at all. I could easily pass on this one.

I lounged around all day yesterday resting from the holiday week-end and getting the rest of that nasty flu out of my system. Today I do not get that luxury. There are things that need to be done and tended to. My daughter has her mole-removal surgery tomorrow in Akron. I better check the roadways. The flooding is pretty bad in areas around me.

Floods of all kinds

Ohio this week

Well. My yard is soaked but I am not flooded. The edges of the yard and some low spots in the sidewalks are covered with water, but thankfully, for me, that is all.

I have been flooded at work with work. My computer keeps crashing at work. I am off now until mid-April. I will be playing nurse maid.

I have been flooded with work at home. Setting up home schooling for my daughter, cleaning for the coming holiday and my two week trip to the Columbus area. We beefed up my daughter's PC at home (her Easter present) so that she can better play her video game (her birthday present). She decided to do her school work on the Mac that the academy provided. My PC keeps crashing at home also. I've been struggling with it.

I have company coming in for Easter. (Provided they can get here via the flooded highways).

And, today I am sick. A nasty sick that I won't go into detail, here. I could not figure out why my headache would not respond to medicine this morning until I caught the weather forecast. What the? More snow?

We watched "Martian Child" last week-end. We watched "I Am Legend" last night. I have yet to watch "No Country for Old Men" and "August Rush". I hope I get around to watching them before we have to return them tomorrow night. Since I am not feeling very well, there is a good chance that I will.

My brother and his wife returned from their Caribbean cruise. I asked them if they found it necessary to bring the ocean back with them. As if they didn't get enough water down South, they are inundated with it at home.

I figured when they left in the middle of that horrendous snow storm, that when they returned the mess of it would be gone. Au contraire. The melted water remains.

Dubious

Sable seems a bit dubious

Six days. Three of them with a toddler. She seems so depressed. I don't know if she is happy to be home and is giving us the cold shoulder, or if she misses my sister's house. Her back leg is still giving her problems. We have been giving her Glucosamine twice a day. She improved but she is limping in the one leg still.

The tyke above dressed her up in Mr. Potato Head's glasses, sat on her like a hassock, ate her dog food and had to have a peanut butter sandwich when she was given her medicine. We put her glucosamine pills in peanut butter on bread and she swallows it whole. He even took a couple of bites of her bread as he gave it to her. I was told all of this second hand. I didn't get to witness any of it. The eating of the dog food would have done me in. Yuck. Currently we feed her dry Purina One. I can't stand wet dog or cat food. My pets do not get that. Ever.

Hey, wait a minute. I just checked the ingredients of Purina One. It states chicken as the first ingredient. I knew this. But, in parenthesis it says: Chicken (natural source of glucosamine). Well bust my buttons. Maybe she just needs extra.

I am worried about hip dysplasia.

Seven inches

Snowfall outside my back door

It looks as though my little town got off easy. Compared to the bigger cities of Columbus and Cleveland and Cincinnati. And, I didn't have to drive. If my nephew's surgery had happened as planned, I was supposed to drive home Friday afternoon, pick up my daughter and return to Columbus area on Saturday. It would not have happened. Columbus area was on a level "emergency travel only".

As it was, I did go to my department meeting at my home office (60 miles away) on Friday and got caught driving in a mess on the way home. During the meeting one of my co-workers piped up that all schools were dismissing early in my area. It was a mess up that way. They ended the meeting and instead of our usual lunch together, I headed west. About 20 minutes into my drive the roads were a mess. I was mostly caught in a huge line of traffic where nobody was passing anybody. You couldn't, really. It took me 2 hours to return instead of the hour fifteen I normally take.

My poor brother, his wife and her family are stranded in an airport. He called from a motel near the Cleveland airport last night. He said a van was supposed to pick them up and take them to Pittsburgh and they were going to try and get a flight out of there. They have to make it to Florida's Eastern coast by 3 p.m. today to get on that cruise ship. What a wonderful get away that would be. And 10 days later you return and this mess will be gone. Hopefully.

My Sunday paper just hit my doorstep and I think I will get it and read a while before I bundle up and start the shovelling. I pick up my Sable today from my sister's house. She has been stranded there along with my grand nephew. I have a photo of them playing in the snow, I'll have to post it soon.

As for the movies. No Reservations was a bit "ugh" for my taste. Across the Universe was better, I thought. I enjoyed the music and some of the plot was of interest to me. Neither movie was riveting.

Eighteen years!

My sister's pet cat lived to be 18 years old. They are now down to six cats. See? It's a family tradition. I still have five. Two of them are at least six years old. The others are young'uns.

My Sable is still up at her house from the surgery trip. My eldest brother watches her for me. They spoil her rotten. My grand nephew uses her as a pillow and a chair.

We are supposed to drive up and retrieve her on Saturday, but with this storm coming, I don't know. I might have to wait until Sunday. Of course I am hoping for the storm to come overnight tonight because I have a meeting with my home office scheduled for tomorrow and I won't mind missing it one bit.

My middle brother and his wife are headed out on their first cruise Saturday morning at 3 a.m. They have a limo picking them up, so they won't have to drive. They are concerned that their airplane won't be able to take off, though. They are scheduled to leave from Cleveland, but may have to re-route and leave from Columbus. I wouldn't want to be a limo driver and have to drive in the snow and ice. Yikes. They are headed to the Caribbeans.

I didn't get the chance to touch base with my nephew today. I'll check in on him tomorrow. I think he was headed into work today.

Boy howdy. Is everyone else getting sticker shock in the grocery stores these days? Wow. We stocked up just in case we get snowed in over the next few days. (Hope so, hope so, hope so). And we rented movies. Across the Universe, and No Reservations.

Speaking of. While at my nephew's house we watched Apocalypto. What? Did Mel sit around with his sons and they all came up with ways to gross each other out and he put it all in this one movie? Bloody, gory, ghastly, gross! I even closed my eyes when I knew a sickening event was going to happen. My nephew is the Blu-ray disc, home theater surround sound, plasma T.V. larger than life type of guy and what I didn't see when I closed my eyes made the sounds that much more horrifying. I am still reeling from the movie. If you don't care for blood spurting out of some guys head or hearts being torn from the chest - skip this one.

Detours and bumps

Life is full of setbacks

The short version. My nephew's surgery was cancelled at the very last second. And I really mean the absolute last second. The anesthesiologist inserted the catheter that would thin the blood to the heart, but inserted the tube into the vein that went to the brain and because there was too much risk for a blood clot going to the brain, the entire procedure was scrapped until the beginning of April. You can read more here.

Now, for the long story. I understand mistakes. I have made enough of them. I felt bad for the anesthesiologist. But I wonder if he fully understands what he has cost people. Maybe he does, and maybe he doesn't. He is probably reminded daily of what he has cost the hospital in prep charges and fees and I have no idea if the insurance company will pay for this mistake or not. Maybe there is insurance for that sort of thing when my nephew's medical insurance says "This was not part of the cost! We won't pay for his mistakes!" Maybe they bill it under something else. Maybe they say that the patient had a problem and bill the insurance company with that verbiage on the claim. Who knows? Who audits this stuff?

As for my family. This was stressful to say the least. First there is the patient (my nephew). He needed to schedule the time off from work. His work needed to find somebody to replace him for six weeks or so that he was out. He used sick days and/or vacation time. The day before the scheduled surgery he went to the hospital for a round of tests. There is his drive back and forth (an hour one way).

Second there is his Mother. She is not currently working, so there is no use of vacation or sick days. But the stress would be enormous. She was prepared to feed all of the family that was coming in.

Third is the sister of the patient. She was on spring break from school, which was fortunate. She took a week off from work. She does not get vacation pay because she works as a waitress in a restaurant part time while she attends college. Her drive back and forth from Toledo to Columbus. Her stress. Making arrangements for somebody to take care of her cats.

Fourth is my eldest sister and her husband. Their drive from Canton to Columbus and back. In an ice storm, no less. Their meals. They are both retired so there was no vacation/sick time taken. My brother-in-law's Mother is in the hospital in another city, so he had to skip a day from visiting her.

Fifth is another older sister who took three vacation days for the trip down and back (3 hours one way). Her gas mileage, her meals. Making arrangements for somebody to watch her pets.

Sixth is me. I was to provide the primary care. My sister is not permitted to drive a vehicle, so I was going to be the driver for after the surgery and the main care taker. I arranged two weeks off from work vacation time. Since I couldn't leave my daughter at home, I arranged for her to be home schooled. This was all decided before my sister was allowed a continuance from court to keep her out of prison until the end of March. (Even longer story). We had anticipated my sister (his Mother) being out of the picture during this time. My drive (2.5 hours one way) and meals for my daughter and I. My arrangements for somebody to watch my pets and check on my house while I was away.

What cost do you put on all of that? Other than getting my daughter home schooled, almost everything listed above will have to be repeated. I didn't include the things that only needed to be arranged one time, like the mountain of paperwork that was needed. Fortunately, the motel let me cancel our reservations. My sister's intentions were good, but five of us were going to stay at a motel, instead of with the 3 of them for a total of 8 people in a little two bedroom house. I mean, get real.

My niece won't be able to get the time off in early April. My one sister won't be able to, either. My eldest sister and her husband who are retired will probably be able to make the trip again. I can swing it. I'll have to jump through some hoops at work, but they are pretty good about that. I'm glad I did choose the home schooling for my daughter because now she can travel with me. My nephew will swing it at work. He doesn't have much of a choice.

But, will my sister (his Mother) convince the judge to give her yet another continuance? She is working harder than ever before on staying sober this time around and at finishing her counselling and rehabilitation. So far, so good. Most people drink because of stress. The strange part is that her heavy drinking problem started when he (her son) had open heart surgery at three and she sort of fell apart back then. She had another child ten years later and five years after that she had an Autistic child. Her fragile psyche does not handle life very well.

So, there you go. I am trying to get over it. I have gone through many feelings. My first response was "I'd rather the doctor come to us and say 'I'm sorry, we have to reschedule the surgery - too risky.' than for him to come to us and say 'I'm sorry......' because of you know what!". The other response was "There is a reason". We all went through that response. Maybe something would have happened, etc... Of course I am trying to put this into perspective. I do understand mistakes. It is just that a lot of folks have to pay for this one.

Sigh. Life does have some detours and bumps. Since it is winter and our roads in Ohio are atrocious, we can say that life has some huge pot holes (some folks call them chuck holes) and when we hit them, we blow out a tire. That costs us to repair the tire and maybe we miss work or an important appointment or some ceremony that we will never get back in our life and who pays for that? Not ODOT, that's for darn sure.

Maybe I should have stopped with the short version.

Some questions pop up as I read my post. There is a lot more to the background of this story than what I have written about here. For example. When my daughter's art teacher asked her why she would be out of school this week, my daughter replied "My cousin is having open heart surgery." To which the teacher replied "If my cousin were having surgery, he could darn well do it by himself!" What the hell kind of response is that? The obvious question would be "Why does my daughter have to go?" My answer. Because her Mother is going and we live by ourselves and there is no other family within a fifty mile radius she could stay with. There is no other family who does not work who could pick up and leave their homes to come and stay with her during this time frame. Without going into a lot of explanation, I cannot leave her by herself for a week. End of story.

The next question might be "Why does your Mother have to go?" My answer. I was there for my nephew. When he was four and I lived with he and his Mother when she was in the army, I was there to care for him. When she lived with me and my Mom and she was out late at night, he would wake up scared in their bedroom and come running to me. I was there at night for him. When she worked in a bar and I worked during the day, I was there for him in the evenings and I bathed him and got him to bed. After he grew up, we remained close sharing our love of computers and he often stopped to see me wherever I lived. I obtained custody of his sister when she was 13 years old, he was 23 and juggling college and work, their mother (my sister) was in prison and my Mother was tragically killed in an automobile accident. He visited almost every week-end while his sister lived with me. The two of them, my daughter and I formed a make shift family. Every holiday we spend together. During the holidays that my sister is free, she spends them with us.

My nephew is thirty years old. His father is dead. His female maternal figures are his mother, his paternal grandmother and his maternal grandmother (my Mom) and me. All grandparents are dead. My sister was supposed to be in prison. His sister is 21 years old. She is struggling with school and living on her own. That leaves me. I am next in line for spending the most amount of time with him. I love him like I would love a son. He means the world to me.

What does my daughter's art teacher know about our family and why my daughter must go with me to Columbus during this surgery? How dare he question something he does not know anything about? Would he like to take my daughter in and get her to school and back and be responsible for her? My daughter will be seventeen years old, this is true. Maybe I was mistaken when I drove her everywhere (we already went over this in a previous post). Maybe I am over protective. Actually, it was her decision to wait for her to get her driver's license. Even if she were able to drive herself and had her own car, would I leave her for a week? Who am I supposed to leave her with? Her boyfriend's family? My co-worker? She told me flat out that she refuses to stay with any friend's family.

Oh, wait. Isn't there another question? A more personal question? Dan Quayle would not approve. If you want to see where this paragraph of my post goes you can look Mr. Quayle up on Wikipedia.com. I won't even start with that topic. That would be some can of worms that would include therapy and therapists, religious beliefs and society beliefs. We make our beds and we must lie in them, isn't this so? So, there I am. We all have our grief in some strange way. We all have pot holes in life that give us flat tires. We all have to pick up the cost of repairing that tire. And, we must all move on. And so, I shall.

Back in the day

When I was a little girl we swam in the lake pictured above. Today it is stinky and dirty. I don't see how I would have stuck my big toe in it, let along went completely under water. My sister said that it wasn't dirty and stinky back in the 60's, but I wonder.

My fondest memories of this lake were the large beach balls that we would bat back and forth. The sand was a bit silty and if you don't know what that is, it is like a sticky mud. It was almost black in places. Pretty gross now that I think about it.

We have home movies (on 8mm) with this lake and a lot of Christmases on them. What was fun about 8mm was that we could play them backwards. Hilarious. We moved a few to VHS over 10 years ago. I wouldn't mind gathering the rest of them up and transferring them over to DVD format.

My daughter, nieces and nephews roll their eyes and run when I get that old tape out. My sisters and I love it. We laugh and say "Didn't we ever mow the grass?", or when we look at the old dogs that we used to own. One is of my sister with the old fashioned hair dryers. Where you place the hood over your head and it is attached with a hose to the dryer. And, this is great. Each of us were reading a book whenever the camera came around (unless we were outside). That is what we did back in the 60's. We read books. Amazing.

Style

I think it would be great to have Venetian blinds like this in my window. Except in blue, of course. Instead of just a plain color, I think they can begin to create beautiful colorful fabric blinds. Maybe they already do.

Plans are set for motel reservations for my nephew's surgery in Columbus. The hospital allows a room for immediate family. My niece was eligible for that room. My sisters and I rented a room in the nearest motel. It is one mile away. The free room that is affiliated with the hospital? Twenty minutes away. How typical.

My nephew was very close to both his grandmothers (who have passed). His father is also gone. I think about them a lot as this surgery approaches.

On my last day of work my co-worker talked me into going out to lunch. It was in the middle of the blinding snow storm. During the meal, she made about a dozen remarks about a guy sitting across the restaurant who kept looking at her. When he got up to leave she asked me if she should run over there and give him her telephone number. My turkey sandwich tried to reappear.

Except for three days, I will be out of the office the entire month of March. I know. I should have just taken the 3 days, too. Maybe I will.