The relish tray

My niece and her fiance's version of the "relish tray" at Christmas.  Funny!

The movie "A Better Life" made me cry. It may help if you know some Spanish (Of course I took French in high school). The movie did not sub-title the conversations in Spanish.

Things around here have been quiet. Not as quiet as when I lived alone for six months. My daughter is twenty. She should be active and moving around and coming and going. That is what you do at twenty. The dogs are pushing me, but I figure they need an adjustment period, too.

I have lots of work to do to keep me busy. I am supposed to be going through totes and sorting/pitching and organizing "stuff".  A friend had two computer issues. One I resolved already the other one I have waiting on the piano bench. 

See? Again, I will do anything to get out of "house" work like the sorting of "stuff" I should be doing. Heh. Grocery store today. I need almost everything. Since I was by myself for six months not much got used up. This holiday tore through that. (Flour, sugar, detergents etc...). Dog food. Always dog food. You know, I gotta keep them dogs pooping. I have cut their food down a good bit and am thinking about cutting down more. They are all very plump. But,  you should see them play when I take them outside. Now I am back to thinking fence. Sigh. Money, money, money.

Hello...Nice to meet you...here - have some germs.

I watched Contagion.  Fishburne's character brought up a very ironic fact. In the old days - the gesture of shaking hands was to show the person we were meeting that we held no weapons that would harm them.

As all of us now know, we have the unseen killer. The minuscule germs. And, I still shake people's hands. Can we bring in the elbow rub or the fist bump?

The movie was good in a way that it brought attention to the way a disease such as SARS can get out into the world and spread rapidly. I was astounded at Winslet's character's remark about the average person touches their face 3 to 4 thousand (yes, thousand) times a day!

Can you hear me, now?

Did I mention that my nephew has to have the TV volume up to ear piercing levels? LOL! I love him no matter what. Santa delivered this sound bar to my house to go with the TV Santa brought me last year. It is like being in the theater, now.

I had a horrible dream last night. I dreamt that I had a German Shepherd dog and he took off one day and did not come back. I called him and called him. I kept him in the basement (this basement in my dream was the one at my Mom's house where I grew up).

One day I needed to go to the basement and I saw a movement. I was praying as hard as I could "Please don't let him have been down here all this time, please!"

There he was. Blind, no hair and half dead. But walking.

It was one of the worst dreams. Then I tried to keep it secret from everybody but they knew anyway and I was crying so hard in my dream that I had not meant to neglect him.

My daughter had a German Shepherd with her boyfriend (she broke up with just a few weeks ago) and this beautiful dog stayed in a crate in the basement when they would leave.

Maybe it has some significance to real life.

The Shower Head

Okay, it is not the Commando 450, but my new shower head is fantastic. This is not a picture of mine either, it is a photo I lifted from the Internets. I guess my nephew grew tired of my old one. LOL! Hey, come to think of it - he shopped with me when I got the last one, too. This is one of his many Christmas gifts. Santa came to my house and he looked an awful lot like my nephew.

But again, the greatest gift was the laughter and merriment we shared.

Bleary-eyed

Sitting here bleary-eyed this morning. I have the day off from work. I worked until Friday last week and did not have much time to store away any energy. After my niece came in to help Thursday night, her Mother was like a mini tornado ripping around helping me over the week-end. My nephew assembled my (new to me) 7 foot prelit tree. I bought it from a friend of the family. Two strands of lights are out but he said that can be fixed easily. I need to get a bulb and go through each light one at a time to see what one is causing the entire strand to go dark. He made this 360 Panorama with his iPhone. They are my extended family and I am ever so thankful for them.

Remember how I said we "do lists" every year? There are always surprises and this year was NO exception. I am one happy camper. The absolute sweetest gift was the laughter. My niece's fiance had all his teeth pulled a week or so ago and the poor guy has been in total misery. He kept holding his face in his hands and moaning "Stop! Quit making me laugh!"

Oh my dogs, did we laugh.

What is missing from this photo? Dogs! I had them barricaded in the kitchen and you never heard such mournful crying. Poor babies.

Peeking

A photo my daughter took of herself at the family Christmas party on the 17th. This is my daughter but it is not my daughter. Does that make any sense? I raised a girl with beautiful blond hair. Everybody wants to go brunette these days. I blame "Tangled". LOL!

I am still not ready. We open gifts tonight. That I am prepared for. I have a few more food items to purchase for tomorrow. 

Family came in from out of town last night. The spirits are high this year. Everyone is upbeat. This is a good sign. I found some great gifts yesterday that jumped out at me in the stores. That was a pleasant surprise.

The weather looks good for anybody traveling the roads. I am sorry that I do not wish for a white Christmas but I worry about those on the roads.

What is residing in your living room furniture?

This is my nephew's cat and chair. Not mine. I loved this photo.

The ear ache started yesterday. Advil helps the best. The rain is pouring. I know "You don't have to shovel rain", but I am not sure I would shovel the snow either. I would just walk and drive right over it. Big whoop. It's snow. It's natural. Leave it alone.

I also am getting a sore throat. I woke up at 1:30 a.m. after going to bed at 10:30. WTF?! I am on my second cup of coffee and just about ready to go back to bed. It is 3:40 a.m.

Should I take the antibiotics the dentist prescribed for me? Is an infection of the tooth that is splitting causing the ear ache? Should I wait two days to see if the ear ache goes away on its own? Hah! Then it is Christmas day and I could possibly spend the day in misery.

Decisions, decisions.

On a side note. I work in an office where some of the employees are school psychologists. One guy told me that the way to test to see if you have ADHD is if you do not respond to caffeine. My second cup of coffee and I think I can sleep better than without it. Huh. Who knew?

Tryin'

I be tryin' hard today to get into the spirit. My beautiful little niece came over last night and helped me clean. Or, should I say I helped her clean? She is a tiny thing and she drank a Red Bull and it was full steam ahead. I quit to fix dinner. I needed a rest. LOL!

Split like the Great Continental Divide

This photo is one of a dental tool used in the past. I am not so certain today's tools are all that different.

I lost a filling or part of a filling Saturday night leaving a huge hole in my top left molar.  Not unusual really for work that was performed in 1970 or so. I waited for the pain but none came. I cautiously drank my coffee the next morning. No pain. I ate breakfast. The hole filled with food but no pain. I brushed immediately afterwards until I could feel that empty abyss. I made an appointment with my dentist as soon as I could.

The tooth has to come out. It split in two. How I wish the dentist could have seen that when I first began having this issue in August. It would all be over with by now. I was NOT in pain. I chose to remove it in January. He was busy and I certainly did not want to spend the day with a bleeding socket when I have so much to do.

The assistant quipped "Remember the holidays are coming up".  Like I can forget that? What do I look like? I know she meant that they will be closed. The dentist wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic just in case it gets infected.

I can still remember my older sister driving all of us kids to the dentist during my childhood. I am not certain of the specifics (perhaps I will ask her) but I do know this was a welfare case and I am not even sure I was told to brush my teeth when I was little. I must have had ten fillings over those couple of  years. I recall how I dreaded the visits. I hated the Novocaine shot so much, when the dentist said he could fill my teeth with out numbing the gum, I chose that path. Only one time did he hit a nerve and I was not numb. I jumped almost out of the chair and he had another dentist with him. I can remember them laughing (with relief). Water went everywhere. The dental care stopped after a couple of years. I am not certain as to why.

To say I was traumatized is an understatement. I did not return to a dentist until I was nineteen and had to have my wisdom teeth pulled. Dental care was sketchy after that (only when in pain did I go). Until I finally reached this last job that pays for dental insurance and I am finally tethered to one area for more than a couple of years. Care has been nonstop for over 15 years, now. My daughter has had care all her life.

I am luckier than my siblings. Since I am the youngest my dental care started much earlier than theirs. All but two of us have partials or full dentures. Sister 1954 and I.

Chester

A.K.A. Cheech

That is over with

The weather turned  lousy. It poured snow down all day and we had a little bit on the roads. People travelled miles to get to the dinner and some got lost. It was a new location this year out in the middle of nowhere. My car and the two following me had to detour around a wreck, an SUV had slid off the road.

It was too hot in the banquet room. The food was so-so and nobody could hear. I had to shout in my loudest voice to be heard above the din. I had a royal headache by the end of the night. The six kids that did show up got showered with gifts and I hope they had fun.

I was rotten this year and sent all kids home with a can of Silly String. Not to be used in the car on the way home, I told them. 

Not sure if we will have it at this location next year or not.

I was tired and had a bad  headache all the next day. I drank only iced tea. I had the mild cod with mashed potato and vegetables. 

My daughter had a new beau. I have nothing to say. I have to adjust.

I do not have one piece of decoration up. I do not have a tree up. I did get the tree delivered Friday night. A pre-owned seven foot tall pre-lit artificial tree. Zoinks!

My living room is full of totes from my daughter's back bedroom (where I stored all my stuff when I had my new floor put in) and her totes from her boyfriend's house. 

My two smaller dogs, Cheech and Chong are back.

My beautiful boxer decided that his territory was not properly marked and proceeded to leave his urine all over every tote in the living room.

I have to find the energy and back muscle to move all the totes into the basement and then get the tree inside the house and put up. My back starts to vibrate like a tuning fork after lifting and moving about two totes. This  is from helping my daughter move her bed and computers and desk and chest of drawers back into the house. Her ex boyfriend dumped everything into our garage. I am thankful he brought her stuff back at all. He could have tossed it out into the yard.

My daughter has wanted out of her relationship for a long time. She always gave the excuse that nobody was there to help him with his new German Shepherd puppy. His cousin and partner are moving in next week.

I really liked her ex boyfriend but I was also torn because both of them are so young. She is twenty and he is twenty-one. They have been dating for 18 months. They are so young to be so serious. He wanted to start a family, she is not ready.

Meanwhile I have to finish shopping, wrapping and fixing food. I work all week.

I am tired and am going to bed. My finger is stinging. For the most part my headache is gone but I recognize a four day migraine when I feel one. It is all just part of the routine. Second verse, same as the first. This ain't my first rodeo.

Blends right in

I thought it was cute how he blended right into the couch.

I am so freaking far behind in everything. My finger is finally to the point where I can go without a band-aid and people will not freak out when they see it. I have been protecting this digit since November 21st! I am tired of it. It still will not bend completely. I still am very, very careful when I wash my hands. Which is like seven times a day!

All the dead skin has fallen off leaving tender and sensitive new skin underneath. I have applied the Vitamin E as the doctor instructed. They said not too much Neosporin as that makes it too soft. They actually used a  medical term but I figured it out. :)

Sleeping Santa

Nestled under the tree with the other presents. 

I don't have much these days. What as compared to the trivial slop I serve up the other days? Ha, ha! Just trying to stay one step ahead of the game and focusing on what ever event is coming up next. What do I need to do this week? Do not worry about next week. Just get through this week.

Movies? Let's see."Dolphin Tale" reminded me a bit of "Free Willy". It does have it's basis in a real story, I always like that. He is still adorable but somebody please tell Harry Connick Jr. to get a haircut!

Charge!

I'd like to say my life has been too busy to post. Maybe it has. I don't know. Too busy to think about it. While charging ordering gifts on-line I went ahead and ordered myself a new charger for my big camera. The battery is inside the camera, so the charger and spare battery are floating around this earth somewhere. Hopefully in my house.

So,  I will charge ahead into the holidays as each gift arrives on my doorstep. What fun to open gifts up twice, though my act is not actually opening them. :)

Finger is healing ever so slowly, work is steady and daughter moves back the end of the week. Get ready for stories about Cheech and Chong again!

Sleeping Babies

Can't we all relate to this photo if we have had little ones in our lives? That lack of sleep that causes us to drop off whenever we can catch a catnap.

My nephew (pictured here) was the first grandchild in my immediate family and he has long waited to hold his own baby and now has his chance.

But I remember holding him when he was this size. Sigh.

Really?!

My small circle of the family exchange gifts. We have taken the magic out and just given lists. We have even fine tuned it so that we send pictures and links to show the gift giver exactly what we want. No surprises. Except there is an occasional surprise and always one that brings out a good laugh.

This is a time for us to browse and just pick things that we usually would not buy for ourselves or some items we can never seem to remember to get.

Included in my list, I chose a cell phone charger organizer. At one time or another the family that stays over usually needs to charge their electronics at some point during their stay. Cords and chargers often get left behind as they usually pick an electrical outlet located behind a couch, stand or chair.

I came across the above item. This is definitely a gift you would not want to give cat owners. My cats would either a) try to eat the grass or (worse)  b) pee in it. Probably both.

As I was browsing Amazon for possible selections, I checked the technical details of the one pictured above.  I think they have the wrong product.

Technical Details

• Features -
• Create your Scenes - Use powerful tools with thousands of stickers, brushes, textures, elements, animating objects, and more to create each scene any way you like; dynamic tools bring your scene to life
• Unlock a World of Play - In a game powered by your imagination that rewards you for being creative, unlock new tools, objects, fun challenges, and more
• Experiment with Fun Challenges - Over 100 challenges to spark your imagination; use your creativity in each scene to power-up your play and unlock new hidden areas; experiment with objects and effects to create simple, challenging, or even crazy solutions
• Fun for the Whole Family - A unique experience that's fun and easy for anyone to pick up and play

LOL!

By the way, my fog lifted as soon as I published yesterday's post. Just writing that stuff down seemed to purge it out of me and I was pretty good the rest of the day.

Some minor aches this morning, but nothing like yesterday. Perhaps I can put off seeing the doctor for another month or two.  ;)

Well, the fog lifted until my cats knocked something over just before I started this post and when I turned to see what happened, I spilled my coffee. It is nice to know that if I ever need to, I can use coffee to clean my wood floor. It gives it a nice, shiny sheen. Groan.

Family history

My Mom told me about her grandmother being bed-ridden for the last 7 years of her life suffering from arthritis with bottles of FourRoses as her pain reliever.

My mom herself complained quite often about pain in the sacroiliac joint area.  Her pain reliever was a single dose of Bayer aspirin. I have started to feel a similar pain with this area for a little over  a year, now.

As I was walking the dogs this morning I thought that perhaps with them fusing the "leak" in my finger joint; all the problem may be causing a back up in the rest of my body because nearly every joint hurt this morning. I am not getting better. I will have to see my doctor and I do not want to. I don't want to run around and have this test and that test just to hear them tell me that "You have to live with it"  or   "You will need an operation"..   I do not want an operation nor do I want to live with the pain.

I cannot function like this, that is for certain.

I tried a heating pad first. On my right wrist because that is my main "mouse" user. I do not believe it is carpal tunnel because I have no numbness or tingling. Just pain. Stiff pain. After an hour I broke down and gulped down some Advil.

I cannot lift my coffee cup with one hand. I cannot open jars. I am  having trouble locking the door. I am  having trouble turning the ignition key in the car. I am having a lot of trouble getting up and walking. It could all be a phase.

You know. Like some people have a bad month or a bad year. I wait as long as I can stand it before seeing the doctor because you know what happens. The day you go to see the doctor  you are not in any pain and it is hard to make them believe that you are for real.

Oh, well. I am reading and thinking. I feel that the recent "flare up" is related to poor diet right now. I have not felt well enough to do any "proper" grocery shopping. I have been scraping by on simple stuff that is not good for me. I am going to try to rectify that. If I can just find the energy to get washed up, get to the grocery store and then come back home and fix the food. When it is so much easier to keep popping Advil, sitting with my heating pad and eating toast. Boo! Epic fail.

Ready for bed

Nobody wants to see my finger without some kind of cover on it (except for a few sick family members who I believe like the idea of me in pain), so I am posting one where he is wrapped around a splint, ready for bed.

I will sleep with the splint for a month until I see the Dr. again. They said everything looks great. I looked at my black and purple finger and I said "If  you say so!"  They said everybody says that.

I was somewhat disappointed in "Cowboys and Aliens".  It was later that I realized it relates to the phrase "Cowboys and Indians".  There are Indians in this movie, also. The character played by Wilde was laughable at best.

"Apollo 18" was scary enough to make me jump in places. Really only two characters in the entire movie, plus a third has a little screen time.

Get this thing off of me

Two more hours.

It is painfully obvious

That I don't have a clue as to what I am doing.  I am the type that puts a unit/computer together and only when I have issues, do I look at the manual. I have had more pocket screws from assembling things than I care to admit. When the item falls apart later, I just chalk it up to being made cheap.

I am just now (seven years into my blogging) adding blogs to my Google reader. At least I think I am. I am not real certain I am doing it right.

I do know one thing for certain. There are WAY too many options for a person to choose from. I could get lost looking at all the various themes, etc... while setting this up.

Good grief!

Sweetness

He seems to like me.

My mama told me....

...stop your complainin' at least you have... or don't have...

Yep. My mama's wisdom came through Thanksgiving day. My older brother told  me a story of a friend who had broken both arms and had to have his family do everything  for him.

I gave myself a mental shake. I had both legs, I had both arms, I had both eyes and ears. My mama's voice resonated "Quit complainin'."

I had very little trouble making the booties. I had very little trouble tying the bows. I cut some corners here and there (did not need the glue gun) and the busy, crazy week-end is over.

Back to work today. Pouring buckets outside (which could be the reason I am so sore all over). Talking to sisters yesterday - they are having the same pain issues I am.

We had a lot of laughs, a lot of good food and then passed around the Advil.

Thank-you, Mom. I love you and I miss you.

Finger surgery... what finger surgery?

For some cruel reason my body decides to conjure up every pain it could think of. If it were just the procedure of removing the cyst I would not need any pain medication. My shoulder pain shows up about every two days. It wakes me up in the early morning and I can barely move as I stumble my way to the Advil bottle and recently the Vicodin. I manage to wrap the heating pad over my hurting shoulder and bury myself in my TV chair until an hour or so passes and I can finally move without sounding like an animal caught in a claw trap.

After a couple of days with the shoulder pain, my right wrist begins to feel like it had been twisted backwards and also begins to complain. I found this wrap and managed to wrap it around the wrist so I can type. What the hell is going on? I feel as if I am falling apart.

I fixed about three dishes for my family Thanksgiving get together. My daughter did come over. She did help me. She did all my dishes. She mixed the cheese ball mixture and found out how hard it was to stir it. She sliced up all of my cheese for the cheese tray.

As I pulled into my sister's house, my nephew and his wife pulled in behind. They jumped out of their van and demanded that I go into the house - they would unload my car. I protested, but caught myself. "Let them, let them." 

All day long family asked me about my finger. When I told them it was actually my shoulder, I got shoulder rub after shoulder rub. All day! The shoulder was not in it's severe pain (I cannot stand anybody or anything touching it when it hurts like that) but during it's down time, I can bear the rubbing.

I was a hit with the new baby. He really likes me. I "hogged" him.  I had lots to be thankful for.

There is a baby shower on Sunday. I have to make 50of these:

Aren't they adorable? Except mine will have blue ribbons of course. I had hoped that we could get a start on them Thanksgiving day, but it did not happen. You cut out the bottom of a Styrofoam cup (my apologies for not being very green, here), cut slits to create the tongue, punch holes and begin with the ribbons.

I am not exactly certain how I am going to tie those little bows, but I will figure it out.

So, I woke up this morning and not only does my arm hurt - but my legs would not move without significant pain. I attribute this to walking around the mall yesterday (to find cute baby stuff for the shower) and walking around two grocery stores. I had my cart full at the first one and needed help finding two items. There was no help to be found. I finally tracked down a guy stocking shelves. He was rude and just kept telling me "We don't carry that!" I returned all my items and walked out of that store and drove to another where not only did I find all my items, I saw lots of workers in the store that were more than happy to give me help.

I had banned that first store for five years before for a very similar reason. I will probably stay away another five years again.

I did manage to make it through the day without beating up any grandfathers. Good Gawd!

This morning I stumbled out of bed, swallowed Advil and Vicodin - wrapped myself in my heating pad and my TV chair. It took a good hour but I was finally able to get up and get out to walk the dogs. The strange thing is, after the meds wear off, I do not have as much pain. I may require only a couple of Advil later - but nothing like the pain when I first wake up. Of course, I probably just jinxed it.

Well, my daughter is out of town this week-end and my sisters live too far away. I am on my own. I have a sinkful of dirty dishes (cannot get my finger wet) so I will be using my leaking dish washer. Oh, well.

Time to go and look for my glue gun. I found one of my camera battery chargers and have taken pics, but my usb ports all fried in my computer months ago, so I cannot download them, whereas with my phone I can e-mail them to myself and get them on here.

Maybe Santa will bring me a new USB card?

Yes, doctor... I know exactly when it happened

Picture it. The future. Circa 2020. The doctor sits there in his little white coat. Scribbling on a notepad with an old number 2 pencil. Computers all crashed in the great and massive magnetic explosion of 2017. The human race has had to convert back to paper and pencil. It was not an easy task. Some are still adjusting.

He clears his throat. "Peruby" he says gently, as if he is picking up a delicate glass figurine and examining it. "When did your troubles begin?"

I hung my head to fight back the tears that were stinging the backs of my eyes. I took a ragged breath and lifted my trembling chin. I began weakly, "I can remember it as if it were last week" I sputtered. "It was Thanksgiving week 2011." I sighed. Just saying the time out loud brought a shudder to my body.

"It began the week-end before, really. When nature blesses you with one of those beautiful fall, sunny days and the air is crisp and clean. You are fooled into believing that you are 20 again and can rake leaves for a full hour without tiring and you are smug and happy with the pile you have created."

The doctor seemed to smile as if he could relate to what I was saying. Did he ever try to push his aging body past its' physical limits?  I paused to catch my breath.

" I was scheduled for minor surgery that Monday at the ungodly hour of 6:30 a.m." 

I fell into the trap that so many insurance-strapped Americans fall into. We arrive on time like good little sheep soldiers only to sit and wait wearing a paper-thin hospital gown for hours until we actually go into the operating room. We have time to wonder what all the other Americans of the world are having for breakfast and if they are enjoying their morning coffee (because we have had to skip ours). And we are starting to enter that wonderful world of caffeine withdrawal.

I lay there listening to all the other patients telling complete strangers facts about their lives that I can only imagine they never even tell their closest relative. What brings people to do this? Is it their fear and nervousness? Have nurses heard it all? Do they tune us out? Some are gracious enough to share their own stories when one of ours conjures up a memory. I am not sure if it was from experience or if I am the type of person who clams up when they are afraid nervous, but I said very little.

The doctor waited patiently.

"I had a cyst removed from my finger but all I could think about was the nagging pain in my shoulder. It may have been from raking leaves." I laughed a little. "I have a leaf blower, but being female and not having much upper body strength, I find it hard to hold that monster up while trying to herd the leaves into a pile."  I did not add the fact that I was a total disaster with the blower and managed to scatter the leaves in such a way that Mother Nature herself was impressed.

Should I tell him the hard part? Should I tell him everything? I oscillated back and forth. Yes, no? Tell him, tell him. No, don't -it will sound like you are trying to get pity. I despise pity.

Laying on that cot, I was feeling very exposed and vulnerable "Excuse me nurse? Can you tell me again WHY I have to remove my underwear when I am only having a cyst removed on my finger?"  Seriously?!

I have come to the conclusion that it is their goal, nay - their duty - to bring you to your weakest and most dependent state. They must need that control over you. Heaven forbid you feel confident.

I looked at the doctor hard. I drew a deep breath. I thought to myself 'okay, here goes.'

"There are many things that can cause a person - even one as strong as myself to plunge into despair. I found all of them that week."

"The nurses hit me with a low blow." There must have been seven of them. You know how they write their name on the dry erase board so that you can see who the nurse is? I swear there were seven names up there. Barb, Lisa, Sherry, Dawn, Brenda, Angie and Jennifer. Okay, I made all those names up but one.

The doctor gave me a quizzical look. "A low blow?" he asked.

"Yes!" I said defiantly. "They crossed the line!" Well, as far as I am concerned they crossed the line.

Now, don't get me wrong and do not feel sorry for me. I would hate that. I have an enormous amount of family (all of you who have been reading this blog know this).

He raised his eyebrows, prompting me to continue.

"I made certain how this procedure was going to go back when I saw the doctor in his office. He said I would get a 'local' and did not need to have anybody drive me  home. He also said that I could eat breakfast, etc... But that was all quashed with the pre-registration phone calls from the torturous nurses who forbid me to eat and almost chastised me for not arranging to have somebody drive me home!"

I was getting an 'effin local for chrissakes!

I took a deep breath.

"If those 'effin nurses said it ONE time they said it a hundred, and each frickin' nurse had to say it out loud for everyone to hear each and every time I told them I was there alone. By myself."

Each and every one of those seven nurses replied back to me, "YOU HAVE NO ONE?"

What. the  fuck.?????!!!!!

Why don't  you just shout it from the rooftops that I am some kind of freak of nature? Bitches from hell!

Again, I am not after pity. I am after humor. I was tired from lack of sleep. I was facing the unknown. I did not know how much pain I was going to have to endure. I was in a low phase of vulnerability. No sleep, no coffee, no food, not knowing, dreading the procedure. Yes, I was a tad bit touchy.

I had talked to my daughter but she worked that day and I could not imagine her going with me at 5:30 a.m. to arrive at the hospital at 6:30, so I had decided to drive myself. Easy thing to do when you are clear minded, your tummy is full and the decision is made prior to your long sleepless night. Heh.

Was this seriously the first time these clueless nurses had come across somebody that was alone? Give me a break.

I had to laugh when the doctor came in to mark my finger. He did not ask any "personal" questions. He could care less how I was getting home. Finally, somebody who understands my serious need to be independent.

I came through the procedure just fine, as I knew I would. I was allowed to drive home asap because I was not drugged. To make you feel even weaker, they insist you take a wheel chair to the door. Ah, yes. Nothing chills the bones more than them dragging you off a cot of warm blankets and giving you a brisk roll down the long corridors of a hospital in a flying wheelchair.

To be continued.....

It isn't me

Okay.  I know the confusion is not drug-induced because I did not take any Vicodin. I think TM has some drug-induced ideas, though.

I was a bit put off by "The Tree of Life".  I am sending you to Wikipedia because it explains the movie better than imdb does.

I would like to watch movies that do not need a program guide to understand what the heck is going on.

His work is considered masterpieces. They probably are and I am too thick to get them. Maybe another time.

Dab nab it!

I am going to have to see my dr. about the shoulder pain. It started last Friday. It seems to appear every other day. I thought perhaps it was caused from raking leaves. I last raked on Sunday. When it hurts I am completely incapacitated.

My poor little finger is not even an issue. The finger hurts not a bit. A little stinging here and there but nothing compared to this effin' shoulder pain. I do keep shutting the bandaged finger in my door. When I take the dogs outside, whoops - the finger gets closed in the door. It is because I am holding it out and away from my hand and I can't feel the door with this big bandage on  until the poor finger gets stuck. It is kind of funny and I always tell it I am sorry.

But cripes! I do not want to go through the ten office visits to get this shoulder diagnosed. I had to go through 3 doctors just for my finger. My GP sent me to an orth. He thus sent me to a plastic surgeon. I can only imagine how many appointments I am going to have to go to and take off from work, etc...

Today looks like a pain-free day. As I said  it seems to appear every two or three days. You know as soon as I make a dr. appt. it will disappear for a month or so. That may be worth it.

I am ticked off about not being able to fix my goodies for Thanksgiving dinner. And I have a baby shower on Sunday I am helping to host. I can try to make the food but I am afraid I will aggravate the shoulder. Sigh. I asked my daughter to come over and help. We will see if she remembers. She did come over for an hour last night and watched a movie with me. She has her own issue right now.

Besides, she is the one who had about ten moles cut out of her back a few years back. The stuck needles in her back to numb the area. She had to feel the tugging as they cut them out. That was  a freaking nightmare. Now she has new moles that she has to have looked at. Here she goes again. All the moles are benign so far, but they keep telling her they have to come out. She was only 14 and 15 or so when they did all of that. I can hardly complain about my surgery.

And to top it all off. I have been resting like I am supposed to. Now my lower back hurts like a bitch. It is rather comical, though. When I hobble outside with the dogs and walk around the block. I have my bandaged finger on one hand, I am trying to keep my right arm bent at an angle to keep it from hurting and I am limping and hobbling. My face is puffy from sleeping and I have not washed my hair. I am surprised somebody does not ask me if I have been in a car accident. That is about what it feels like.

I cannot stand to take any vicodin today. That sh!t knocks me out and makes me fall asleep in my tv chair. Thus causing me headaches and lower back pain.

I am gong to Advil it today. I need to go to the grocery store. I need dog food and fixin's for tomorrow's dinner. I cannot sit around another day. I am going nuts.

I hit ten yesterday, briefly

When I escaped to my TV chair, I was hovering between 4 and 6. I napped, when I awoke I was a full blown 8. I decided to get the Vicodin filled. This had nothing to do with my finger surgery. That sucker was still numb!

It was my shoulder. Do you know how many times people bump into your shoulder when you are in a store? OMG! I wanted to scream at them. I was still an angry 8. Waiting on the script to fill, I tried everything I knew to ease the pain. Breathing they teach you in Lamaze classes, distraction, counting backwards, relaxation breathing in and out exercises. I purchased a heating pad and an ice pack.

I finally got out of there. It was in the car that I hit the 10. Starting the key was impossible with my left hand and that huge bandage around my index finger. When I leaned over to fasten my seat belt it hit me. The dam broke. I only allow myself spurts of tears when I am in view of others. I got a grip and drove home. The moment had passed.

I slammed down a pill, cranked the heating pad up to high, stuffed pillows and blankets around me. I had water, remote controls and cell phone within reach. It took an hour but I was in dream land. The heat on my arm was heavenly. My head was in a fog and I was even nice to the animals. They all came running over to me and cuddling around me and I did not mind one bit. 

That was how I spent the rest of my afternoon and evening. I cut back to half a vicodin every 2 hours (all I needed) and a little Advil for the headaches. The RN told me I could take both - just not Tylenol with the vicodin.

This is not the movie I watched last night, but if you ever want to watch screwball comedy, I recommend "Fly Paper".  I enjoyed it so much I played it for family when they came in to stay overnight last week-end. They loved it. We laughed. It was a surprise to me, as I had no idea what it was about. Not a fan of Patrick Dempsey. Ashley Judd is okay. It was really the other characters that made the movie great anyway.

Just a matter of time...

...before the numbing wears off. Had the cyst removed from my finger this morning. I doubt that I will be typing much after the numbness wears off. My shoulder on the other arm hurts like a bitch. Raking leaves? I don't know. It kept me awake almost all Thursday night and last night. I could not take anything after midnight last night so it was very hard to dress and drive, etc.. (No, I did not try to dress while I drove - I mean separately.)

The needle that they used to numb my finger hurt like a bitch, too. Usually shots do not bother me.It would not be so bad if they kept the needle still, but no - they have to move it around while it is in there. Gawd!

I also hated being awake through the tugging and moving while they worked. Yecchh. Medical procedure is not one of my strong suits. You may notice how the iodine turned my entire hand orange. They painted me all the way up to my elbow.

I am full of coffee, have had some food and have downed 3 Advil. Both arms will be incapacitated. I guess I better rethink my dish contributions for Thanksgiving. Unless the shoulder stops hurting. I have a script for Vicodin but not sure when I will venture back out to get that filled. (if at all). My daughter works in a pharmacy - but they are very strict about relatives touching drugs for family. Rightly so. Besides she does not work at MY pharmacy.

Am going to go sit in my tv chair now and tune everything and everybody out. My finger is starting to feel like a tuning fork.

Safe yet?

Nope.

Somedays I feel like a nut

This week has been hell. I don't want to talk about it. This is why I have not posted. Sorry. I just want to crawl under the covers and sleep. See you on the other side. When the sun shines again.

Sable's good side

Here is our Sable without the white markings. They are on the other side. You can see a wee bit on her back. Nobody knows what caused the hair loss or white hairs. Stress - mange. No vet could tell me. The white hairs are very wiry. The patches of skin are dark and dry. We have had her for 8 years and she has had those markings the entire time. I am thinking she may have been traumatized when she was a younger dog.

Still no Jasper. I would think the vet would have some kind of answer/solution for me by now. I am beginning to doubt her. The only thing she says/does is put the catheter in - take it out. Jasper does not pee on his own so she puts it back in to empty his bladder. Poor kitty.

Movies - Water for Elephants. Eh. I do not care for R. Pattinson. It is true, I have never watched any of the Twilight series. I do not care for Harry Potter or LOTR, either. Whew. There! I said it. I love Star Wars  - does that count for anything? Then again, only the first three. I never watched the later ones. Sigh. Back to being a square. I did not like C. Waltz. I can barely tolerate Witherspoon.Water for Elephants was rated very high. I doubt that I will ever watch it again. Movies with animal and woman abuse turn me cold.

Grey land

Dreamers

By Siegfried Sassoon
 

Soldiers are citizens of death's grey land,.....

The big boy

I purchased another doggie coat for him. I'll be taking it back, too. Way too tight. Sable has a double coat of fur, she loves the cold weather. Slade bounces around enough but I think with the short hair he needs something. Especially when it is raining.

Sweet Jasper

My cat, Jasper is in the hospital. I came home from work Wed. and saw little bloody cat paw prints all over my kitchen floor. I remember when I got out of the shower that morning he was sitting on the bath mat waiting for me. Our other cat, Mr. Tibbs was about four feet away and I thought they were dueling. Jasper can fight, but he prefers to walk away.

The vet was closing when I called Wed. He was walking around and drinking water so I made the first appointment I could on Thursday morning. The vet said it was his bladder. He was urinating blood. She said she would have to empty the bladder asap. She would leave a catheter in for two days and if he peed on his own the third day I could take him home.

She said it was serious.

Oh you cruel, cruel world!

My happy, pink monkey face got socked right in the eye. My filter is like a spoiled little kid. I can't turn my back on it for one minute. My schools were getting random blocked. The filter told them the facebook category was blocking them. WTF? How can a category for facebook block dictionary.com? Stupid, stupid filters!

My head began to throb. At least the sore throat seems to be gone for now. Good riddance!

Much better morning

When I woke up I noticed that I had slept about 8 hours. Amazing! I did have a doggie present waiting for me. Oh well. I did notice that I forgot to turn the furnace back on - it was 63 degrees Fahrenheit in the house. Brrrr! I also noticed a headache (time change and being sick).  I clean up the dog stuff first. I turn the coffee pot on second and the furnace on third. I take two Advil What?! No sore throat!? What!? YAY!

Can it be? Can things be turning around? My filters are working and I do not have a sore throat?! Okay. That little pink monkey picture up there? That will be me today! What the heck is that? A banana peel on my head?

Need to retrain myself

The above photo is taken from the internets. Not my kitchen. Mine was much worse. Heh, heh. Anyway, I need to retrain myself. Why is it that when we have a dishwasher we tend to "waste" dishes? "Who cares?" I would ask - "use another plate/glass/fork....I have a dishwasher!"

Yikes. Dishwasher is  now leaking and I must stop using it until I get if fixed. IF I get it fixed. With just me in the house should I even bother? I finally got caught up on my dishes today. It must have been that extra hour, I don't know. I was kicking myself. I told myself 'Look  here,  you have to conserve dishes now. This is a P.I.T.A.' Well, it was more like a pain in the lower back because that is where it gets me with the height of my sink when standing washing dishes. Ugh! 

Six hours yesterday with the techs in California and I am happy to report that the filter for my area schools is functioning again! YAY! I called tech support at 1:00 p.m. They finally called me back at 3:30. While waiting I began to study the log files. I found that I could tell the exact hour that the filter began to have problems. I also noted this was the same hour that a filter tech had applied a hotfix to our appliance. I told them that and mentioned the fact that I had the numbers on reports to prove it, and "voila" they removed the hotfix and all is well. Okay...when I asked the tech for details he would not commit to removing the hotfix. He said that they removed a binary that was applied on the day after the hotfix. My ass!

Come Monday if all is working well, I will discuss this with my manger to see if she wants to lay into them or if she wants me to lay into them. I will have to fill out a customer satisfaction report. Funny thing. Sometimes when it is a problem that goes on like this they mysteriously do not send out an automatic survey. Heh, heh.

My brain is mush

Mush. I saw my dad eat it. I never touched it. Nevuh, I tell you - nevuh! It looks about as appealing as a blog of squishy lard.

Why is my brain mush? The next day after my awful day was worse. MUCH worse. On Wednesday afternoon when I was battling the fact that the filter could now access youtube and facebook did it ever ONCE occur to me to check to make certain that the filter was properly filtering AT ALL?!

I have been so focused on the two favorite sites for students that I did not think to check if the filter was even working.

Guess what? It weren't.

OMG!

I had a school call me at 8:03 a.m. Thursday morning.  I answered and I heard a whisper in my ear. Even with no student in earshot you just do not say it too loud. "My students can get to porn."

Somebody dropped a bomb on me. Well, it sure felt like it. I was already sick. Did I panic? Well...maybe a little. I called my manager and asked him to re-boot both boxes (we had nothing to lose at that time) while I called an emergency call to the company (located in California and just after 5:00 A.M. their time).

All morning we worked. All morning. I placed a few updates to my schools and staff to let them know how we were progressing (which we were not). Not at all. The software company tried this, they tried that. They escalated my problem to an engineer. They were literally scratching their heads. They were ! I could hear them over the telephone line. Scratch, scratch.

When a tech from a school district would send me an e-mail saying that all of a sudden his school could get out to facebook it took everything I had not to write back "Oh yeah, have you tried p!ayb0y.com?" Because after that I bet facebook isn't such a big deal any longer. LOL! Note: We had sent message to all the schools that we were experiencing filter problems, but some just do  not read their e-mails. They don't have time, they say.

Oh, sigh. When I left yesterday at 4:00 p.m. the filters were still not working. At noon my home site went down. Severe hardware failure. Was that the reason my filters were not working properly? They did not get the system back on line until after 8 p.m. last evening and I can go in to work today and test my filters. I will be holding my breath. Please let that have been the reason because I don't think my neck can handle another five to six hours on the phone with tech support.

I met about eight family members after work and immediately gulped down two cold beers. I ended up giving half of the third away and drinking water from there on out. I ate a meal, we had a lot of  laughs then I went home and went to bed.

Ready to tackle another day. Let's hope this one ends better.

Oh - let me gripe just a little bit. I have been with my organization for sixteen years and this one little pet peeve has never changed. When my organization's home office went down, did anybody call me (or my co-worker in another city) to let us know what the hell was going on? Oh, no. I had to call schools to ask them what the issue was. They filled me in.

To my organization's staff: "Thanks, guys". And they wonder why I cop an attitude. How many times have I given a school worker this stupid, dumb look when they ask me something that I don't know about my own organization. The school people always laugh. It is like my organization is this big joke. Nobody can believe that they do not tell us (me and the worker in another city) anything. Always the last to know.

I have complained - you betcha! I tried saying it nice, I tried being sarcastic, I tried whining. Still the same. My managers are very sensitive. You have to choose your words carefully when you try to make a point - so I just quit. They fly off the handle. They point fingers. They make excuses. They tell me I have a bad attitude. I've been through many meetings and arguments about this very issue. It gets me nowhere. I should just laugh it off. The problem with that is - it is not so funny when I would have spent another three to four hours troubleshooting with the software company trying to figure out what was wrong when all along it may be the hardware failure that they had. Nobody thought to call me and say "You know what? You may want to wait and see if this had been the problem all along."

I told the software company that we had a failure. That I did not know if it would cause this failure or not. We were to wait and see. I just hope the software company does not send us a bill.

I almost (I repeat almost) tore into the software people that this resolution was taking too long! That we should not have to be down that long. I am SO glad I did not open up that can of whoop ass on them. Maybe it was because I was sick. Maybe it was because I felt that would just anger them and delay the solution. Truth be told I was waiting until it was resolved and I had a couple of names to call and lay into them. I guess we will find out today if the fault lies with our equipment failure or if we still have an issue and will need to work with them all day again today.

I know one thing. The schools are in an uproar. This (there have been SO many more) is probably the proverbial straw. There are going to be repercussions to this latest disaster. I can feel it.

Sick

Almost everybody has it. Last week all I heard was hack, hack, hack. It just sounds awful. These can go on for days and what are they supposed to do? Report off sick for four days, six days? Not many folks can afford that kind of luxury.

Me? Not a dry hacking cough. I got the sore throat, headache and achy body. I would take Advil for the achy body but I can't swallow. Well, I can get two pills down but they don't touch the headache.

My gums in the problem area are a mess. I brushed with peroxide and now have a huge, swollen bump over the problem tooth. I want to take a sharp toothpick and just poke it because it itches so badly. But, I won't.

Work is so very stressful right now. The filter is a total wreck right now. Facebook and youtube. I cannot seem to win with these two sites. They are driving me insane. I have the company calling me again today. I feel as if I am that little dutch boy trying to hold back the angry waters with his finger. Except he was successful.

In costume... or not?

Last week a few of us had to work after hours to complete a job at a school. It just so happened to coincide with their Fall Festival (a.k.a. Halloween party). Schools are not allowed (or permitted) to use the word Halloween because of it's satanic theme. I am assuming that is the reason why. Or perhaps it is because if draws attention to a certain religion (Satanism) and schools are not permitted to celebrate events. If they have a Halloween celebration then they will have to plan a Christian celebration (what the heck is the Christmas party/concert?) Anyway....

My co-workers and I had been at it for a solid four hours and were a bit slap happy if you know what I mean. As usual nothing was working correctly and we were struggling to figure out what we could do to make it right. I was on the telephone (so I was spared) when a very (and I mean very) young fellow in a cop uniform walked into the office. A few remarks were made about the Fall Festival and his "costume".  The guy co-worker that was with us suddenly became quiet. The young fellow in the cop uniform said something but I didn't catch it. My female co-worker (it was her school) answered him and he left. It was about this same time I was finished with my phone call and she was laughing. I looked at them and said "What? Was he a REAL cop?"  She managed to squeak out a "Yes." The guy said "I thought he was a kid dressed up as a cop until I saw his gun."

Note to all Police Departments. Don't send the youngest on your force to Halloween events. Nobody would take him seriously. It didn't even look like he was shaving, yet - I swear! And, for the record - I doubt that I would recognize a real gun if I saw it. I am happy to report that my eyes did not get down that far. My Mama raised me right! He was just a boy, after all! But he was dead serious. There was no mistaking that look on his face. This young fellow meant business. I think he is going to make a fine officer of the law.

In costume

A co-worker gets into the spirit of the holiday by dressing in a "Clifford" dog suit. I can only imagine how hot it must get inside those things. She did not wear this all day. She was just trying it on. There was also a Curious George but nobody was able to snag pics of the guy that put that outfit on. I was nowhere around but another co-worker sent me this pic from her cell phone.

I am slowly seeing my neighborhood participate a bit more each year. I saw six houses with their porch lights on this year. I had an appointment and came home during the middle of the kids walking around. There was nobody on my street. I think I saw four goblins later while walking the dogs. The kids just do not feel it is worth walking down a street that only has a few porch lights on. I didn't even buy any candy.

The Boxer was mesmerized by the goblins. He stood and stared for as long as I let him. They were across the street and a safe distance away. He would not hurt a fly but he can scare the bejesus out of people when he runs up to them all excited.

I have been having tooth issues (or gum issues) again. This has been off and on since late July. I did something to a molar and at first I thought it was an earache. When the doctor's antibiotics did nothing, I turned to the dentist. His antibiotics either worked or time was the healer. I was okay for a little while. The tooth was still quite sensitive. When I went in for a cleaning at the beginning of October I told him I was still having issues. He filed the tooth down. I think he loosened the filling. It has been irritating me.

I was finally able to pinpoint the exact tooth for him. When I touch it, it is very sensitive. The gums around are all inflamed and itch like crazy. It drives me nuts. I do find that Advil (still my best friend) relieves the itching for a few hours. When I walk the dogs I can feel the blood thumping in that area of my gums. I have been rinsing with a hydrogen peroxide solution. It is like a mosquito bite. It drives me crazy and then I will take my toothbrush and just brush that area for about a half an hour. I know. Not the best thing for the poor gum line.

Glass, light and speed

So many of my schools are in a rural setting. They do not get cable television let alone fiber to their buildings. The state tried to establish a way to give them what the big (money-rich) schools could get. Somebody, somewhere believes that each child should get an equal education and opportunity.

We all know that is hogwash. If a child goes to a big school in the city, they are amazed at how little the rural school has to offer. And now it is more of an issue than ever. Funding cuts.

When it comes down to fixing the roof of the building or repairing the buses that transport the children, there is no money left over for renovating the building to accommodate fiber optics. Buildings built in 1908 do not have the electrical structure we need today to run all the electronics.

The students sit and wait while the teacher struggles to get their technology working. What worked fine for her class yesterday the teacher cannot get to work today. Without the projector or the video unit the class cannot get the benefit of the lesson plan.

Epic fail.

And before you go and say "Go back to the way we did it with books and paper and pencils" - please remember it is the school staff's duty to prepare our children to survive in "today's" world. They will be faced with scads of electronic devices and social networking and shared devices. They will not be reading a book or writing on a piece of paper with a pencil (unless they want to). They are going to need to know how to get a task done and at lightning speed.

The above photo is fused silica the inner core of fiber optics. Glass is technology's best friend. Advil is mine.

Establishing dominance

Sable really had to work to keep her reign as the King of the Hill. Belle really made her work for it.I love how our kitty Moose is hiding in the background.

This is the German Shepherd at maybe eight months? Sable comes in at 105 lbs. This Shepherd still has a lot of growing to do. She is SO long.

This is the best pic I got of her. All other pics came out as a blur.

This close

My daughter's beau was pleasantly surprised with a special event Saturday night at The Stone Pony in Asbury Park. My daughter stayed at his uncle's house sick with a migraine. They go to New Jersey every year for the zombie walk. 

Seeing Bruce would be an event of a lifetime for my daughter's beau. He took this photo with his cell phone.This was a benefit show for Boston College.

Love it!

I told my sister that she should enter this photograph into some sort of contest. Adorable!