Saturday, July 31, 2004


My Mom. June 1, 1920 - December 3, 2000.

Rainy Saturday and a good cup of coffee.

My goodness. Yet another Saturday morning when I have time to sit and blog. This is rare, indeed. I am not running around doing errands and whatnot today. Maybe a little later. But, you know, I will do anything to keep me from cleaning. Hee hee.

I meant in my post from yesterday that I would not waste any more time and space on this blog to vent petty feelings. Of course, I will still write about "things" important to me. It is just that when I get angry at others, I will go to that angry page and read about how other people are experiencing the same thing. It makes me feel a bit better.

So, I begin a week of vacation. I have family coming in from out of state and we plan to tour my area. I love my area where I live so this will be a good vacation. Not too much driving and I can sleep in my own bed every night. Hopefully, the migraine incidents will be low.

My pets are a little bit restless today. Maybe it is the rain, maybe they can sense that I have company coming. We are all jumpy. There is no thunder - that was earlier this morning. I love a thunder storm that isn't too dramatic. It is very romantic, I think. Hey, another Jackson Browne song. Although, like a good writer he seems to have hidden meaning in the words. Is he really talking about a storm? That is what I love about him. The lyrics can be a puzzle and I love puzzles! That is my Mom in me. I sadly lost my Mom in December of 2000. It was an accident and unexpected. I miss her, dearly.

Friday, July 30, 2004

Please don't let me be misunderstood.

I like people. I really do. But, I have my limits. I like my alone time, too. I know some people who can never stay alone or be alone. I like my own company. I find many things fascinating and can entertain myself for a long time, given books, movies, the outdoors, and of course now; the Internet.

What I can't tolerate for very long is conceited people who bore you with every little detail of their life. In high school when a girl said "He was looking at ME!", you expected them to be a bit conceited. It was the age. But when a 40 year old says "He was checking ME out!" Does she need to be reassured that she is still attractive? In my study, people like that never get enough attention. They are so full of themselves they make everyone around them sick. They are such BORES!

Okay. Instead of wasting time and space venting my feelings on this blog site, I will go here from now on.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Misfiring synapses...

I hate the days that I get migraines. My brain misfires. It is kind of like when the water in your pipes have been off or have frozen and when you turn it back on there is air in the pipes and it spits and sputters. My think flow is disrupted by bursts of whatever.

Trying to talk to someone over lunch is a real piece of work. You begin to say something and can't recall what you were going to say. It is as if you have jumped ahead 40 years and now have the thought capacity of a senile person. You don't make any sense.

My fingers used to go numb. It would start at the pinky and by the time my middle finger was getting numb, the pinky was regaining its feeling. This numbness would slowly spread over my entire hand. Twice (and only twice) have I lost complete sight in one eye. Only one eye. I can't recall but I think it was the right eye in both circumstances. That was years ago. If I closed my left eye and left my right eye open I could see nothing. It didn't last long - I would venture to say only a full three to five minutes. I only closed the left eye one time, the other time this happened was when I was driving. So long ago. I used to get the auras too, but not anymore. Good.

Most of the time I explain migraine aura's to someone who has never had them as this. When you are outside in the snow with the sun shining on it - you become snow blind. When you go inside a dark house, you see spots. Migraine auras for me was like that. Other times I did get the jagged lines. I don't like talking about it or writing about it because I swear sometimes it will trigger a migraine. Weird. I don't try to explain the pain. Sometimes the pain is so bad, I have to give in to it instead of fighting it constantly. So many times I find myself with my shoulders tensed and my teeth clenched. To relax the shoulders and neck lets the blood flow through and brings the pain. The nauseating, throbbing, sick pain. When it gets really bad I try to flow with it. Let it wash over me and do what it will. These are the times I lay very still and try breathing and relaxation exercises.

Most of the time I would resist throwing up. To throw up would bring a throb of pain so bad it felt as though your head is splitting open.

In high school mood rings were popular. Mine was always black. I had to lay my hands on the heat registers for the ring to turn blue. My friends used to have me do this so they could watch it turn black real fast after I took my hands away from the heater. I guess there is something to black moods and personality. Is it the poor circulation that causes the moodiness? A bad temperament? I was moody up until about 25 or so. I realized that I can control my moods. I didn't have to live life like that. I used to think there was something wrong with me - like mentally. Maybe there was (is.) But, somewhere I managed to pull myself out of it and change my attitude. That is one of the biggest things I stress to my daughter. You can change your attitude. You cannot change other people, or events, but you can change the way you react to them. You can choose to be happy or content. You can choose to feel good about your life and who you are. Some people may need medication to achieve this, some people don't.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Shoving It and Shoveling It - It's all fair in politics

Shove it instead of shovel it. Yes. It is starting to get real interesting now. Bring the women folk into the fight. Whoo Hoo! A friend sent me an email stating how the Heinz company outsources jobs blah, blah, blah. It is an urban legend. Please people, look up the validity to these emails before you spam them out. One of my favorite urban legend resource sites is: www.snopes.com

The gloves are on. I really can't stand to watch the Democratic Delegation.

August is coming. I think I will bring out my old music "Hot August Nights" by Neil Diamond. I have not the slightest idea as to what he is doing on the cover of that album. Air guitar? Did the photographer remove his guitar? "It was THIS BIG!" Not sure, but hey - it was the seventies. And then, I saw this site. Just getting into his music, I guess. HOT! Seventies, style. For us 40 and 50 somethings.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Critics be damned...

I never did agree with the critics anyway. So what if The Bourne Supremacy was a bit predictable. If you read enough of the trailers and reviews about the movie you can pretty much piece out what happens near the beginning to make Bourne a loner again.

I spent the rest of the movie trying to figure out ways to make it come back together (being the romantic that I am), but no dice. Not in this film. Maybe there will be a third - maybe not. The noise and the close-ups in the chase scenes left me and my co-moviegoers with a thumping headache. Lots of smashing glass. I guess the glass in cars in Russia and Berlin are very noisy, like the ones they used in the old westerns.

It was good enough for us. We loved it. I liked the idea of having a smart cookie at the top of the investigation (but not smart enough to out-fox Bourne). This is an American version of 007 in the European venue. They tied up his past very nicely creating a nice guy out of the monstrous killing machine that he was trained to be. It is, after all, the children who suffer, n'est pas? I thought that Bourne might give the young girl the gun so she could shoot him. And, of course in this one he gets shot, gets to pour alcohol on his wound without flinching, and jumps the wrong way on his foot so that he walks with a limp. Just like in the old westerns, again! Smash 'em up, shoot 'em up and jump off the bridge! Every young boys' (and girls') adventurous imaginative fantasy.

Saturday, July 24, 2004

A good cup of coffee..

..and a Saturday morning to read the news. I read my local newspaper and I check my bookmarked news html's. So, Hawking says that Black Holes do not completely swallow their information but it remains, even though it is in some mangled form. Kind of like I have been telling end users for years. Be careful what you put in email. Say you send an email. Someone reads it and prints it in hard form, or saves it to disk. You delete it, they delete it from their mailbox. Is it gone? No, somewhere on disk there remains a copy of it.

A previous co-worker of mine was assigned to read the company's email searching for fraudulent company behavior. He stumbled across an interoffice affair between two married couples. The employee did not care for these particular people, so out of spite he kept a copy of their email on disk. The couple eventually ended it and went on with their lives, remaining with their unsuspecting spouses. To the best of his knowledge they had no idea he had this data saved on disk. He let me read the emails and I was stunned. He eventually left the company, (as I did), and for all we know the couple still work there. Get a clue, people. Do not put anything in email you wouldn't want pasted on the front page of a national tabloid.

Alright - back to the Black Holes. So, there are no parallel universes. Bummer. So much for The Twilight Zone. I guess the edge of a Black Hole is the ultimate stretching machine. Maybe that is what happens when you go to Hell. You get stretched into a mangled form. Instead of saying "Go to Hell" we can say "Go to the edge of a Black Hole!". Or, how about "Get bent!" Okay, my coffee is getting cold. Time to refresh.

I take my vacation the first week of August. After that I will try to catch some of the Perseid meteors in the night sky. Left behind from the comet Swift-Tuttle. Great name for a race horse, dontcha think? Although it does sound a bit like an oxymoron. If you mistake Tuttle for Turtle. Then it comes out Swift-Turtle. Back to my coffee.

Okay, we have a major sunspot coming this way, soon. Something to blame computer mysteries on. How many times do you get the "Why" question when someones' computer acts up? Why ask why? I don't know all the answers, and I get tired of saying so. Sometimes I use one of my major confusion answers, which is sunspots. I have to admit, it works every time. I always said, "If you can't convince them, confuse them." I am not usually one to blow smoke up anyones derrier, but over the years I have found it easier to, shall I say, improvise. Most end users like answers, they don't like mysteries. I love mysteries and puzzles. For whatever reason.

Friday, July 23, 2004

Anchorman

Is quite forgettable. Even the cameos couldn't help it. The only part I really liked was when he and his news team barbershop quarteted "Afternoon Delight".

I am not a big fan of Saturday Night Live, so I am not familiar with Will Ferrell. I just know that he was a cheer leader of some sort. Skip this one.

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Is Hawkings' Black Box a bit gray?

What the heck is this scientist talking about? Has he lost it? Is this jibber/jabber? Maybe in future history and science books he will be heralded as a genius, but today it seems like he is off his rocker. (no puns intended).

I haven't had the time to study astronomy and space like I did when I was in my early 20's. Too much life to live right now.

My daughter and I want to see The Bourne Supremacy. I hope it is as good as the first film, The Bourne Identity.

It opens in theatres tomorrow. I'll post what I think, if I go see it.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Shrek 2

Kids and I finally went to see Shrek 2. We loved it. At first I was thinking - Oh no! How boring. But hang in there. It got hilarious. I can't wait to rent/buy it. But that first 30 minutes was UGH. I figured out Julie Andrews from her voice very quickly, and I could have sworn I heard the Fairy Godmother before, but I had not. Jennifer Saunders.

I guessed wrong in thinking Prince Charming was Rufus Sewell when in fact it was Rupert Everett. Close, but no grenade. Rupert, Rufus - what's the difference? Well, I guess quite a bit. Since Rupert is a self-proclaimed homosexual. Rufus might consider that quite a bit of difference. My apologies. I did not mean any dis-respect.

All in all, I loved the movie. I was tickled to see that Antonio Banderas played Puss in Boots. Icing on the cake. Those kitty eyes. We kind of got the suspicion that the writer of the movie liked cats more than dogs, though. The cat was quite the hero, but the dog got squashed, although you didn't really get to see it. In the next frame though, the dog was fine. It is, after all, a family movie. The young ones seated behind me really loved the antics with Shrek breaking wind. And when the critics warn you about substance reference - it is cat nip (VERY funny). Things happen so quickly you will want to watch it again. We were laughing so hard, I think we missed some of the best parts. They ran one right into another. We barely had time to catch our breath.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Ready for SP2 and IPv6?

Here it comes. As if we didn't have enough to keep up with in the technology industry. More updates, more scanning. And, IPv6 finally gets under way. I first heard about 6 in 1997 when I was taking some network classes. I read that it will run parallel with IPv4 for 20 years to ensure all runs smoothly. That should do it. Most of the school systems will wait until 2023 to change. I'm still having a tough time convincing them that they need anti-virus software on each and every computer. Their solution, keep Windows 98 on the systems. Aaarrrggghhh!

Buy any domain names lately? How about this one for $2.75 million? http://www.creditcards.com/ Yowza!
I checked, yowza.com won't take you anywhere, but it is already snatched up.

Cripes. A major PC manufacturer recently stated that it was going to help the end users with all this spam/spyware/advertising crap going around today. I followed the links and you got it, an advertisement for us to buy something. We didn't ask for the crappy spyware, why should we pay to get rid of it? I wonder who is really behind all this spyware and hijacking malarkey? I am getting fed up with it, myself. I can't even imagine how the average end user is coping with this avalanche of rubbish.


Monday, July 19, 2004

Are you there...

Say a prayer, for the Pretender. Jackson Browne. Can any other singer touch me the same way? Perhaps Bob Seger. Bob is a little rougher around the edges. Jackson gets straight to the heart.

When I get melancholy, I turn to JB. Smooths out the roughness of the day. Or, maybe I just get lost in thought. Lost loves, lost moments, lost chances. Nostalgia. Melodies floating with the breeze. Is there a song that reminds them of me?

We all pretend. It doesn't hurt. Pretend we don't care. Smile, go along with everybody else. The look in your eyes. How can I explain? The way I felt years ago, the air was different, my eyes were different, I had so many needs that were not being met. It is not your fault, I would never regret you. You are my salvation. I would give you all I have and more. Maybe I already am. Will you be there after it is all said and done? Such carefree living, now comes back around to haunt me. Are you there, say a prayer for the pretender....

You turn away from me, you run away from me. I don't know where you go when you leave. I don't know what you think about when you leave me, here alone. You come back, you always do, but for how long? Will I turn around one day, to find you lost from me forever? You can find me here, listening to JB.

Sunday, July 18, 2004


Rose of Sharon Posted by Hello

My Rose of Sharon

I also have my rose of sharon blooming. I have white ones, pink ones, purple ones and magenta ones. They are quite lovely, but not much smell.

Moonflower Posted by Hello

My Moonflowers

I love my moonflowers. Since I have been quite lacking in the planting annuals this year, I have had to rely on my perennials. I have moon flowers (datura). They bloom in the late evening and during the night and stay open most of the early morning because they are in the shade. They smell like good soap. Here is what they look like.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Forever Friends.

Are you lucky enough to have a sister who is also a friend? I am. She is so sweet. She knows all of your past and all of your hang-ups. She lived your childhood right along with you. She likes the same kind of music that I do, she likes the same foods. She understands the same jokes that I do. and most of the time we can finish each others' sentences.

When a certain topic of conversation comes up we can look at each other and think about the same memory or thought without a word passing between us. I think that we frustrate some others if we are with a group of people. They can't keep up with our silent communication. It is like we are light years ahead of the rest of them and we are already laughing at the joke we shared, or a story. She is as comfortable as my favorite pair of old jeans, my favorite pair of tennis shoes.

Sisters are great. Life is good.

Friday, July 16, 2004

Has Hawking found the Black Box of the Black Hole?

What? After 30-odd years? If Hawking can re-write physics perhaps he can also resolve the BPL issue that I wrote about yesterday. Black Holes and BPL and the changing of physics. I haven't studied Black Holes in over 20 years. Most of what I thought I knew, I have forgotten. I guess I'll read more after the 21st of July when Hawking speaks.

I think my brain may be a Black Hole. It is a mystery. A few men have tried to figure it out (with no luck, I might add). It swallows up information but you can't find a trace of what it did with it. You think it is there, but you can't prove it.

Congratulations, Sir Tim.


Thursday, July 15, 2004

Who's Afraid of BPL?

Wow. I have been researching BPL all day. I was at a town meeting earlier and the matter was brought up. I live in a very rural part of the state. I, too am tired of the cable company raising their prices. What other choices do we have? It certainly doesn't look like BPL is going to be a contender any time soon. Look here. And here.

So, what choice does the rural resident have? Cable/Internet doesn't reach them and neither does DSL. I just looked at Satellite Internet and I am still reeling from the sticker shock. I had no idea.

I have never used a CB radio or a ham radio. Have you looked at a mapping of the US Frequency Allocation Chart, lately? Or, check here.

Whew! Sometimes I want to shake my cable/modem, but I guess I am better off than most. Actually, sometimes I do shake the box. It may not help it to work, but it makes me feel better. I could always throw it through the window of the local cable company. Then I would be looking at the telco for DSL, I guess. What does it cost to set up a ham radio or a CB radio? Maybe I will look into that.

I do know some people in a local fire department. They would listen to everyone's cordless/cell phone conversations via their scanners. I also know people who read other people's email. OPEM, I call it. So, what would you do if you could? Would you listen in on your neighbor's telephone conversation? Would you listen in on the emergency calls? Would you read other people's emails? Would you look up payroll if you could? Do people with scanners still listen in on phone conversations? I guess they do. Maybe I will go buy a good baby monitor. Can you pick up anything with that? I am tired and getting facetious, here. Enough.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Yes, but what comes after Peta?

I was writing a paper for a documentary that I have to give and was working in the part of how large hard drives are. I have basically a terabyte of hard disk space on my machine. A bit much? Perhaps. But, I don't worry about how large my pictures, videos or any files are. So, I asked myself what comes after tera? There of course is kilo, mega, giga and tera. I found a site and realized that I had read a while back about peta. Then of course I wanted to know what comes after peta. This is a version by JB, and can be found here.

Kilo Mega Giga Tera Peta Exa Zetta Yotta Xona Weka
Vunda Uda Treda Sorta Rinta Quexa Pepta Ocha Nena Minga Luma

Greek. It's all Greek to me. LOL. Luma being 10 to the power of 63. I can't imagine numbers this large. When I first began working with baud, it was 1200 baud. The piece of equipment (a synchronous modem, not an asynchronous modem) had a setting for 300 baud, but I did not need to use that setting.

Then, being the spreadsheet professional that I am (yeah, right!), I decided to create a bar graph of the different sizes I was addressing. Forget that, and quick! The smaller sizes were lost in the shuffle. I needed to make several graphs and by that time I became a bit frustrated. Suffice it to say I have a more sympathetic understanding for those who chart the Universe. Stretch your Broca Brain, Carl. May you Rest in Peace. You probably know all the answers by now Mr. Sagan.

Is it Friday YET?

Oh, I guess it isn't that bad, but the week-ends have been so darn fun. My problem isn't work right now, it is the co-worker. She had this need to talk to me about every little event in her life. "Do I look tired to you? I was up until 1:00 a.m. talking to so and so. He thinks I am so gorgeous! I told him that I have to get some sleep. He said that he should be getting home too, but he didn't want to leave."

Pardon me while I go throw up my breakfast, now. I couldn't stand it when my teenage friends told me all about their new boyfriends and I sure as hell can't stand it when a 40-year old gushes about hers. Grow up! Write it down in a diary. Just leave me alone!

I don't mind someone saying hey, I met someone he is so sweet, blah, blah, blah. But she is a broken record. Every 2 months it is the same old story. She meets someone new. They think she is gorgeous. She finds fault with them. She dumps them and cries how lonely she is. How can she meet men? I think she should raise her standards. She bats her eyes at any Tom, Dick and Harry that cross her path. They are usually washed up losers.

Okay, I have vented. Drink my antacid and start the day. Grin and bear it.

Monday, July 12, 2004

The Summer of a Thousand Headaches

But oh, how sweet it is when the darned things go away. I guess I will have to call my Dr. and tell her about my change in headache patterns. Not a thing is touching them. For some reason they do seem to abate after the sun goes down. Don't ask me why. I am too happy that it is gone to try to figure it out. Now, I can catch up on some computer work. Yippee!

I know 3 Narcissists that I converse with on a weekly basis. One is addicted to alcohol, one to pain pills and one to sex. Good grief. Actually, I have diagnosed them as narcissists, they have not been medically diagnosed. Far be it from them to admit that they have a problem. If it does begin in their infancy, I do know that the one (addicted to alcohol) had been neglected by her parents. She has an older brother, born 11 months before she was. The older brother was the sunshine of her parents lives. She used to hide beneath a blanket and sit for hours when she was little. I am not sure about the other two.

The three of them call or talk to me constantly about their lives. Sometimes I am in the mood for it and I try to listen. I have come to realize that they do not want advice, they only want someone to listen to them. Other days I get tired of the ordeal, it wears me down and I want to scream, "How about a nice cup of SHUT THE F**K UP!" However, I am a listener. I need to figure out a way to shrug them off and go on with my life. I don't like to hurt others feelings, but at times I find that I have to be a little bit blunt with this type of personality. They will really bleed you dry. Sometimes I forget and think I can contribute or relate to a story they are telling, but am cut short by them jumping back to talking about themselves. I am jerked back to the reality of the conceited, self-centered life of the Narcissist.

Maybe this is why I am suffering so many headaches this summer. One of the three, I have just begun to work with, another one is usually back in jail by this time and I usually only have to deal with the last one. It just so happens that all three are hitting me up for attention this summer. I really need to find a way to get them off my back.

Friday, July 09, 2004

Is It Me....

...or is the entire Internet down? Is it my ISP? With so many networks disabling the ping command how can I determine how far out I am getting? Ping my router, ping my DHCP server, ping a well-known site. Reply, reply, reply. Why isn't my Internet moving? I
panic and upgrade my anti-virus program and begin to scan my hard drive. Imagine my shock when it fails with a critical error. I research the error, clear out the cache. Okay, I do that and the next scan runs error-free. No virus.

I go check trend,no security threats listed there, I check F-Secure, they show a Security 1 Level Alert. What does that mean? Here is their definition:

LEVEL 1

Explanation:

Highest level alert. Worldwide epidemic of a serious new virus.

Is that serious? It sure sounds serious. What is going on? Now the Internet is working just fine, again. My daughter became disgusted and went to bed. Maybe I will, too.

I check iss.net, they say Alertcon 1, regular vigilance. Lowest setting. Hmmm. I check other security sites, it isn't my Mozilla, I am using Firefox, now. Actually, I am using IE and Firefox. They are all running smoothly, now. I will patch my Mozilla 1.7 anyway just to be safe. In case I decide to use it in the future.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Crazy, Hazy, Lazy Days of Summer

I can barely recall how sore I was after shoveling tons of snow this past winter.I do remember that every time I turned around, I was shoveling again. We didn't surpass our calamity days though, so the kids didn't have to make up any school days. Since I work for the schools, I get the days off, also. I spent them shoveling.

I can also barely remember what I did during the summer breaks between school years. I recall riding my bicycle for hours on end. Never had to check in with my Mom, as long as I was home before dark. Rarely came home for supper. I was the friend who played outside in the yard while my friends ate dinner. We would roam the local woods and strip pits. Once in a while someone would have pity on us and haul us to the local pool or lake. Mothers were always home. Not that I am complaining. I couldn't stand to stay home every day all day. I like to work.

Don't get me started on whether or not today's children are better off or worse with both parents working or the only parent working. I don't care. Raise your child, raise them the best that you can with the resources that you have available. I am not into blaming society or bashing working mothers. We women are much stronger than that. We don't need to be criticized for doing it all. We do whatever needs to be done and then some. We are exhausted, but we are working. It feels good to be part of the working world. I also feel that if a woman wants to stay home, she should have that right. In other words, do what you want, do what feels right to you. Forget what the magazines say. The only thing that surveys prove is that someone has too much time on their hands. And, for crying out loud STOP watching the T.V. talk shows! T.V. is not real, I don't care how many times the word "real t.v." is being used. Look at the credits. Director, producers, etc. Someone told someone what to do, what to say. It is "entertainment" of the worst kind. The brainwashing kind.

I do enjoy a good situation comedy. I don't care for the hour long drama series. I don't
have much time to follow those. Most of my t.v. watching is funny videos, or old reruns of sit coms. I don't need to think anymore. I don't need to live a fantasy life through a t.v. show. I need to laugh more. I get enough drama at work, thank-you.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Old Photographs

Is there anything that can take you back in time like old photos? I am in the process of scanning my family's picture album. A lot of the pictures are from the 30's and 40's right now. A few from before that. They are so delicate. Of course the quality is not there. They come out very grainy on the scanner.

As I mentioned before, I come from a large family. I am the youngest of eight. I am trying hard to keep the pictures straight and try to read the faded print on them. The album itself is yellowed with age, the pages are crumbling beneath my hands as I turn them.

But, I am moving them to a different media type, in an effort to preserve them for years to come. Who knows what is coming next?

I notice as I go through the photos that I begin to wonder "What If?" What if this person didn't marry that person? Then the children would not be here. Being the youngest of eight, I thanked my Mother one time for not stopping. What I meant was not stopping having children. She thought that was amusing. She said she didn't have much choice in the matter. This was before "the pill". She said she always liked Loretta Lynn's song titled "I've Got the Pill."

I plan to move on to my family's genealogy after I get the photos scanned. My oldest brother started the tree documentation and I plan to start taking it over, eventually creating a web page. For years we thought we came from Germany and discovered it was actually Austria. Hey, maybe I'll run for Governor. (joke)

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Vacations

Are vacations worth all the stress and money? A vacation is supposed to be relaxing, Yes? At times I have debated (fly or drive)? If I fly it is way more expensive and I usually have to rent a car when I get there. If I drive, I have my own wheels, but it takes longer. Then after a long drive, I have to check in to the motel. My head is usually pounding and we are tired and irritable. Flying was out of the question for my daughter. She said "No way!"

The motel (or resort) is never what you expect. So many people recommended a place to me last year and I was so disappointed. The place was worn down and thread-bare. However, since it was right on the beach it was top-dollar. Supposedly it offered so much more in the "family fun" area. Whatever. I had to call the front desk two nights because of a group of rowdies partying in the next room at 1:30 - 3:30 a.m. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't mind a good party. But not when I chose a "family" resort. That means small children and decent bedtime hours for me. The group was finally kicked out the third night. They got to stay one too many nights if you ask me.

So where to this year? Less than an hour away. A familiar place where we can do almost everything we did at the beach except swallow salt water. I may make a second week-end trip to one of those wave pools with water slides. That will be about a 3 to 4 hour trip away. My daughter said that she doesn't care. She doesn't want to go anywhere. I took her to see the ocean, that she will have. Now, this year we lay low. Maybe next year we will be ready to venture on another "away from home" trip. We have too many animals at home anyway that need taken care of. Last year my niece stayed with them.

By next year I will feel as if I need to get away, I suppose. I feel so guilty if we don't go do something on vacation. Although I would love to lounge around the house and sleep in for a week. Could I do that? I don't know. I guess it would be worth a try. Take a couple of day trips to museums and such. I love art and science museums.

Monday, July 05, 2004

Manipulation

How can you tell if someone is manipulating you? Why do people use other people? Has it been this way since the dawn of civilization? I find it rather sad, this manipulation. Usually it is for selfish reasons. What happened in that person's childhood that made them feel so unloved, so unwanted that they resort to shrewdly using other people?

And, if they do get what they want is it ill-gotten gains? Do they feel justified or satisfied? Or, do they hunger for more? Is it a never-ending cycle or is it a disease? How do they ever face that person again? Are they capable of wiping the incident out of their memory? No remorse? No compassion?

Psychology of how the mind works is a very complex matter that interests me immensely. There are web sites that tell how to detect liars.

Some people seem to lie for no apparent reason. But, you wonder. The reason may benefit them, when it isn't obvious to you. Some people may be practicing their lying skills. They may or may not subconsciously be aware of the practice.

Are you a person who believes in justification? Will they "get theirs" in the end? How about sales people that rip you off? Or, someone innocently in love for the first time, getting used by their mates? Does some mysterious force come back around and bite them in the ass? I cheer for the underdog. Always have, probably always will.

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Gotta love that central air

Whew! It was a muggy fourth of July in my neck of the woods. It rained a few showers and then it would stop, the sun would come back out and the air would be muggy and hot. I grilled the burgers and hot dogs and escaped back into the cool of the air conditioning.

One of the favorite dishes this year was the seven layer taco dip. Refried beans on the bottom, sour cream and cottage cheese on the next layer, a layer of salsa, a layer of shredded lettuce, a layer of shredded cheddar cheese and a layer of sliced, black olives. Dip with tostoda shells. That was the big dish this year. The only thing I worry about with a dish like that is the heat outside and the spoilage of the sour cream and cottage cheese. I left the dish in the air conditioning for every one to enjoy.

I cut up the brownies and served them today. That is one nice thing to having a very large family. If a certain branch of the family can't make it on one day, they will make it the next day. Sadly, the nucleus of our family passed away 4 years ago in December of 2000. It was an accident so the death was not expected. My Mom had 8 children (bless her heart) and she was a pretty strong influence in all our lives. As the years march by, I see my family unraveling slowly. We are getting further and further apart. Certain ones never seem to come to the family functions anymore. I thought that this might happen after she passed.

Being the youngest, I try to get everyone together and to like each other. Growing up, I had to adapt to each of their personalities so that I could get along. Many times I find myself stuck in the middle. I always try to see both sides to every story and not to judge too harshly. Sometimes it can be so difficult.

I forgot the Brownies!

Oh well, someone will eat them tomorrow. I have more family coming in tomorrow. The food was good, I had plenty, the drinks were cold, I had plenty, the fireworks were nice, not spectacular, but nice.

So very, very tired. I cleaned up the best that I could. I need another refrigerator. One in the garage or basement. Too much stuff.

It never rained on my party.

Friday, July 02, 2004

I can't feel my feet!

Pineapple cake is made, brownies are made (I opted not to make any more nobake cookies),the potato salad is chilling, the calico beans are chilling in the crock pot - ready to go for tomorrow. What else, oh yes, the cheese is all sliced, couldn't roll the cheese balls because I neglected to pick up walnuts at the store.

But, I can't feel my feet. I really liked the tile floor in the kitchen when I bought the house, but didn't realize that I would have to wear my SAS sandals when I worked in there.

Last year while vacationing at Myrtle Beach, South Carolina and shopping at Broadway at the Beach, my feet were killing me. I bought the sandals and loved them. Way more money than I would have normally paid, but because I was on vacation I allow myself to splurge. My feet have never regretted it.


Thursday, July 01, 2004

Smooth Sailing

How sweet it is. I put my daughter's friends to work on the outside and the yard tonight. The grass isn't cut exactly the way I would like it to be, but you have to bend a little. I had so much inside stuff to do. Finally I can concentrate on the basement. It hasn't been cleaned properly in over a month.

I can't find my mixer. Where in the world would I put it? I know it hasn't been that long since I made mashed potatoes. I need to make a cake for the party and I can't find it. I found the beaters, but no sign of the mixer. I planned to make the yellow cake mix with vanilla pudding, crushed pineapple and cool whip. Serve it cold.

I made peanut butter no-bakes, but I became sidetracked while boiling the oleo mixture and that did it. Now they won't harden. At least they didn't run all over. They only gooed. I still have time to make another batch.

I mixed my cheese balls. They are so easy. Two ingredients. Kraft Old English cheese in a jar and Philadelphia cream cheese. Softened at room temperature, then refrigerated over night. The next day, I chop walnuts and roll the cheese mixture into the nuts and form a ball. Plop into a bowl and top with a maraschino cherry. Server with club crackers. Why club crackers? Because the others crumble when you attempt to spread the cheese ball mixture onto them.

House is clean, patio is clean, yard is mowed, sidewalks are swept, music is ready, what next? Sunny on Saturday, sunny on Saturday, sunny on Saturday.