Bits and Pieces

Just a quick post to jot down what is going on around here, so that when I re-read this post five years from now I will remember.

My sister-in-law is having surgery today. I may post more about that at another time. It is cancer. The photo above was what I sent to her on f@ceb00k.

My neighbor's basement wall collapsed the night before last under all this rain. A crew started water-proofing their basement on Monday. What do you think? Co-incidence or was the crew responsible? Tough situation to be in. I am going to double-check my wall on that side of the house. A few years back I had a company come in and put two big braces on that wall using steel anchors that lead to a brace ten to twenty feet out into the yard underground. Water has pooled in the little ditches between our houses for years.

My daughter's car broke down. Same thing that happened about a year ago. It was a piston then, sounds like a piston, now. She said it is doing the same thing. When I told my appliances (that were breaking down) not to let word slip out to my car in the driveway that I was spending money on them, I guess I forgot to tell them that also includes my daughter's car. Cripes.

I had to go out to a couple of schools yesterday and work with my hands instead of my brain. It was hot and muggy in the wiring closets. The schools are not keeping their equipment cool AT ALL. I was sweating up a storm and guess who forgot to put on deodorant yesterday? Yep, that's right. Not a pleasant morning.

I won (sort of) four tickets to the Pitt$burgh z00. I visit a radio station's web site to read their lost & found (pets) and when they designed a new one, I could not find the l&f. I sent them a message asking where it was. They assured me it was coming and since I commented, they wanted to send me 4 tickets to one of three places. I chose the z00.

My work is switching from 26 pays to 24 this next month. I know it is easier for them to do, but I really looked forward to those two "free" pays every  year. Sigh.

A party for my eyes

I am in need of some color in my life. The outside is so drab with all the browns, yellows and grays. Yuck! I have no flowers blooming. I will have to use artificial color, I guess.

It was a difficult work week. I had some setbacks. I am trying not to panic because I have some serious deadlines coming up and I have been running around trying to fix emergencies so I have not had proper time to prepare for the upcoming events.

Sigh. I am missing my sister who is staying with my brother these days. She is trying to start working but still be close to her granddaughter. I can understand that. She and her son are looking at renting a house almost next door to her little granddaughter.

I had some family time Tuesday. My S-I-L has to give herself (or my brother does) two shots in the gut a day for blood thinners. This is to prevent blood clots. The next step in the cancer phase is for them to go back in and look at the liver.

The one doctor that removed the tumor from her stomach said she did peek at the liver while she was in there and the side that she could see looked good and healthy.

Life is kind of getting me down right now.

Frosted Joy

One of my favorite displays at the Christmas Chalet

I woke up the other morning with a great idea. I cancelled all plans for this week-end and next week. I am treating my recovery more like a vacation than a time to rest and heal. Shame on me! My sisters and friends will have to understand.

My daughter drove me to the pet store today. I bought the largest dog jacket they had and I have to return it. It is still too small for my broad-chested boxer. It poured buckets of rain down today and I hated having him out in the cold without a jacket.

He was really funny. He bounced. He ran. Have you ever seen a boxer run? I'll have to record him running. He was just a joy today.

We watched "The Proposal" with S Bullock. You know how I think that all her characters are the same. This was no exception. Scrunched nose, ditsy and girl-next-door demeanor. I don't care if she was supposed to be the bitch from hell. She wasn't. I liked the movie, though. I loved her dancing chant the most.

It was nice to see Betty White in a movie.

A Blow upon a Bruise

I managed to make it outside today to get some fresh air into my lungs walking the boxer out into the front yard. I saw the green floral van coming down the road. He turned into the neighbor's driveway across the street.

I thought to myself. Maybe it is Eileen's birthday. How fortunate that I am out here to see her get her flowers. He pulled up in front of MY house and hopped out. "Do you live here?"

"YES!"

"I've got something for you."

And he handed me the beautiful planter you see above. Co-workers are thinking of ME!

My boxer wanted to go with him. I think he wanted to take him.

Woot! Roses on Saturday and a planter today.

But, OH.... the agony! I was SO sick yesterday. I coughed all day and all night.

My sides hurt so bad from coughing.

There is nothing I can do. I take the medicine. It makes me sick to my stomach. I eat cold pop sickles. I was miserable. I had body aches all day and then "poof" they were gone around 8 p.m. The headache, too. But, the cough remains. Ugh.

When I go to cough today I wince. It is going to hurt. And hurt it does.

If my surgery is undone it is undone. This cough has a mindset of its own.

Many others are sick. I am not alone. Just bad timing with my surgery.

Restless

I am restless. I am irritable. How come I can't get enough of movies and documentaries on the week-ends between work weeks but when I am off work for 2 weeks I can't stand to sit in my chair another minute?! Ugh!

I am sick and tired of generic acetaminophen. I won't touch the generic Vicodin. It only makes me sicker. I am not in that much pain. It just sort of feels like I over did it while exercising.

I had this procedure done.

I have had a nagging cough all day. It is like a dry, hacking cough. The doctor told me to get cough drops and to make sure I take a cough suppressant if I get a cough afterwards. Well, it is not working. I am coughing and coughing. I had to turn the heat on because it got so cold. Now it is just dry.

I just hope I don't ruin everything and undo what was done to correct the problem.

Sisters are picking me up on Wednesday for a day out at Amish country. I felt well enough to fix a chicken and mashed potato dinner on Saturday. Yesterday I fixed chicken with pasta. Today I have heartburn galore. I have eaten toast but can't stomach much more.

I've done the dishes. I've washed all my clothes, sheets and towels. I know that I am supposed to rest and no strenuous activity, but I cannot just lie around.

My boxer got sick. He has very bad diarrhea. My daughter thinks it is because of my surgery. Others have been taking him outside. She said that maybe he is confused. She is the main person taking him, so he shouldn't be too upset.

I've had different sisters in here to check on me, but I don't think they fed him anything. They know how I feel about that.

Maybe it is just a bug.

I watched "Sunshine Cleaning." I thought it was very sad. I have not liked any movies that A Adams has been in, but I liked her in this one. I have not see "Julie and Julia" yet.

Moaning and groaning

Ugh. I must be getting old. This was a rough one. Anesthetic headache runs right up there with a migraine. In fact, I took migraine medicine and it didn't touch it. It has finally worn off. I really, really, really don't like Vicodin. It increases my headache ten-fold.

But, I am feeling pretty good now. Sticking to generic acetaminophen. Have not been allowed to take ibuprofen for a week. I will probably stick to acetaminophen for two weeks and go back to ibuprofen if I think I need to.

One will wreck your stomach and the other will wreck your liver. I guess I'll switch back and forth through the years. Pad those pharmaceuticals wallets.

Just taking it easy and trying to keep the critters off of me. I get two weeks off from work. But, I can't drive for the first week. :(

It better not be nice and sunny or I am getting my daughter to drive me out to the parks and woods to get some beautiful fall pictures. Come on sunshine!

A long August

My niece in San Diego last month

I had the family reunion on the 2nd of this month. Since then this month has not been much fun for me. I have had five doctor appointments, with two more to go this month. I have had two car appointments (my car and my daughter's car), I have had jury duty twice, two college scheduling sessions, and have one dentist appointment and one veterinarian appointment yet this month.

In July, I had four doctor appointments, and two veterinarian appointments.

In September (so far) I am looking at five doctor appointments (one a mammogram, yay!) and a dentist appointment for my daughter.

But, today was the worst. I had a cystoscopy. If you ever had one of these, you would remember it. It is much more painful for men, I suppose. Still, it hurt like the dickens. I am still having pity pains.

I am not seriously ill. Not in any way. One is a procedure I am finally dealing with, the other is my foot and the others are routine. Everything is just falling in this 60 day time span.

Sprinkle in a migraine about once a month and I am very chummy with pain these days. My foot is currently soaking in Epsom salts. The water has long gone cold. Chong tried to drink out of it, I stopped him. Silly pup.

And, they threw in a tetanus shot for good measure! It is swelled up and as sore as a bad bruise. Scientology and their belief of keeping doctors and medicines out of their life might be looking pretty good to me right now. (Just kidding!)

One shot for my daughter, please

As if scars aren't bad enough, a keloid develops. The break is over. Six months. Back to the surgeries and the scars. And the lovely keloids. I will make an appointment at Akron Children's Hospital for the removal of three moles. Oh, excuse me "Children's Hospital Medical Center of Akron". How can I forget it's proper name when my insurance agent was so adamant that I get it right!?

For over forty years everybody in Ohio has known the establishment as Akron Children's, but when I called my insurance company last year they kept telling me that the hospital does not exist. The web site lists it as Akron Children's, all the nurses, doctors and any other personnel in the state of Ohio calls it by "Akron Children's". Why would I even dream it had another name? When the agent finally figured out that it was listed in her database under "Children's Hospital Medical Center of Akron" she was irate and told me that I need to give her the correct name. Good grief.

So my daughter got a shot of cortisone in the keloid. Why doesn't blogger's dictionary recognize this word? It stung and we hope that the growth subsides just leaving the scar. How did the girls in my daughter's gym class put it? "Did you get shot!?" I guess my daughter's back looks like she was shot with rifle spray. How many now? 12.... 15? Dysplastic nevus (nevi).

When my daughter told the dr. she wanted three new ones removed, the dr. kept saying "If you think she needs them removed." I had three separate doctors say that "Yes" the moles need to come off when we started this madness five years ago. Now they aren't so certain. What? Did the Medical Association publish an article saying that maybe they were removing too many moles unnecessarily? Like hysterectomies in the 80's? Now the doctor is leaving it up to me. Oh, excuse me. Up to my daughter. She is 18, now. She can decide for herself. We went from "These moles have to be removed!" a couple of years ago to "Well, if you think it's necessary."

Every mole removed has been tested and come back benign. I have wondered through the years if this was really necessary? What do you do when three different doctors say "Yes." I did not intentionally seek out different opinions. I am not that obsessive.

The first doctor that alerted us was rude and my daughter did not like him at all. She was 12 or 13 and this guy just creeped her out. So we found a female dermatologist. She agreed. The moles needed to come out. After about six removals I asked my family doctor. She agreed they need to come out. After so many we started to go to a plastic surgeon. He didn't really give an opinion - he just removed the ones in the more delicate areas.

When my daughter had a rash in January that doctor just freaked out. Why did she have them removed? Who did that job? We got the impression that the job was ugly and messy. Thanks doc. Made us feel like crap. Seriously. You think that doctors would have better reaction skills. They should teach that in medical school.

Am I rambling? Probably. I am tired and I am starting to get angry. My daughter wants them off. They have her afraid that every little mole is a potential door to cancer and death for her.

Did you know that virtually every prom dress made has no back to it? My daughter (like me) does not care for the hoopla of prom anyway. Good thing. Every now and then I would hear my daughter mention tanning lotion. She would put some on because as we have had it drilled into our heads for five years now, tanning beds and sunning are death.

I always hated the sun anyway. Anyone with migraines will tell you this. Sunshine equals headache. I shunned the sun. I was lily white. At 43 I began going to a tanning bed. Wow! I loved it. Especially on cold, rainy days. That stopped cold when my daughter was forbidden to go. They said it would be certain death. Or, they made her fear it as much.

I know it is for the better. I know this. It doesn't help my daughter when she compares herself to all the girls in school that are bronzed and showing their backs in their beautiful flowing prom dresses.

That is more or less why I let my daughter go wild with her hair. And by wild, I mean blond, black and red. Whooppee. No green, blue, orange, pink or purple. So the red faded a little and looked like magenta. So they said. I got a different definition of magenta. Nope. The school stopped that real quick. I got an idea. Why don't they make the kids stop tanning? Now there would be a worthwhile rule. Save a life! Color your hair, not your skin! I've got to stop. I'm getting belligerent.

Medical Insurance

Here is another desktop wallpaper that I downloaded a week or so ago.

I received in the mail yesterday the bill for my daughter's anesthesia. The original charge was for $880.00. My Medical Megachew paid $488.67. The "Anesthesia , Inc." then adjusted the bill and subtracted $297.00, leaving me with a $94.33 balance to pay.

I wonder. How does this "adjustment" policy work? Do they jack up the price and see what the insurance company is going to pay and then bring it back down to the "normal" charge? What the hell is the adjustment? Maybe I'll call and ask them just to see what their explanation is.

Never mind. I found an explanation:

5. Why did my billing statement have an adjustment amount?
"Adjustment" (discount) refers to the portion of your bill that your hospital or doctor has agreed not to charge. Insurance companies pay hospital charges at discounted rate. The amount of the discount is specific to each insurance company. When the insurance company pays their portion, the discounted amount (adjustment) is taken off to show the true amount due from the patient (co-insurance). For example, a hospital may charge $10,000 for a surgery that your insurance has agreed to only pay $2,500. Of that $2,500, the patient would have to pay $500 if the patient's responsibility is 20%. After the insurance pays $2,000 and patient pays $500, the remaining $7,500 would be the adjustment.

Detours and bumps

Life is full of setbacks

The short version. My nephew's surgery was cancelled at the very last second. And I really mean the absolute last second. The anesthesiologist inserted the catheter that would thin the blood to the heart, but inserted the tube into the vein that went to the brain and because there was too much risk for a blood clot going to the brain, the entire procedure was scrapped until the beginning of April. You can read more here.

Now, for the long story. I understand mistakes. I have made enough of them. I felt bad for the anesthesiologist. But I wonder if he fully understands what he has cost people. Maybe he does, and maybe he doesn't. He is probably reminded daily of what he has cost the hospital in prep charges and fees and I have no idea if the insurance company will pay for this mistake or not. Maybe there is insurance for that sort of thing when my nephew's medical insurance says "This was not part of the cost! We won't pay for his mistakes!" Maybe they bill it under something else. Maybe they say that the patient had a problem and bill the insurance company with that verbiage on the claim. Who knows? Who audits this stuff?

As for my family. This was stressful to say the least. First there is the patient (my nephew). He needed to schedule the time off from work. His work needed to find somebody to replace him for six weeks or so that he was out. He used sick days and/or vacation time. The day before the scheduled surgery he went to the hospital for a round of tests. There is his drive back and forth (an hour one way).

Second there is his Mother. She is not currently working, so there is no use of vacation or sick days. But the stress would be enormous. She was prepared to feed all of the family that was coming in.

Third is the sister of the patient. She was on spring break from school, which was fortunate. She took a week off from work. She does not get vacation pay because she works as a waitress in a restaurant part time while she attends college. Her drive back and forth from Toledo to Columbus. Her stress. Making arrangements for somebody to take care of her cats.

Fourth is my eldest sister and her husband. Their drive from Canton to Columbus and back. In an ice storm, no less. Their meals. They are both retired so there was no vacation/sick time taken. My brother-in-law's Mother is in the hospital in another city, so he had to skip a day from visiting her.

Fifth is another older sister who took three vacation days for the trip down and back (3 hours one way). Her gas mileage, her meals. Making arrangements for somebody to watch her pets.

Sixth is me. I was to provide the primary care. My sister is not permitted to drive a vehicle, so I was going to be the driver for after the surgery and the main care taker. I arranged two weeks off from work vacation time. Since I couldn't leave my daughter at home, I arranged for her to be home schooled. This was all decided before my sister was allowed a continuance from court to keep her out of prison until the end of March. (Even longer story). We had anticipated my sister (his Mother) being out of the picture during this time. My drive (2.5 hours one way) and meals for my daughter and I. My arrangements for somebody to watch my pets and check on my house while I was away.

What cost do you put on all of that? Other than getting my daughter home schooled, almost everything listed above will have to be repeated. I didn't include the things that only needed to be arranged one time, like the mountain of paperwork that was needed. Fortunately, the motel let me cancel our reservations. My sister's intentions were good, but five of us were going to stay at a motel, instead of with the 3 of them for a total of 8 people in a little two bedroom house. I mean, get real.

My niece won't be able to get the time off in early April. My one sister won't be able to, either. My eldest sister and her husband who are retired will probably be able to make the trip again. I can swing it. I'll have to jump through some hoops at work, but they are pretty good about that. I'm glad I did choose the home schooling for my daughter because now she can travel with me. My nephew will swing it at work. He doesn't have much of a choice.

But, will my sister (his Mother) convince the judge to give her yet another continuance? She is working harder than ever before on staying sober this time around and at finishing her counselling and rehabilitation. So far, so good. Most people drink because of stress. The strange part is that her heavy drinking problem started when he (her son) had open heart surgery at three and she sort of fell apart back then. She had another child ten years later and five years after that she had an Autistic child. Her fragile psyche does not handle life very well.

So, there you go. I am trying to get over it. I have gone through many feelings. My first response was "I'd rather the doctor come to us and say 'I'm sorry, we have to reschedule the surgery - too risky.' than for him to come to us and say 'I'm sorry......' because of you know what!". The other response was "There is a reason". We all went through that response. Maybe something would have happened, etc... Of course I am trying to put this into perspective. I do understand mistakes. It is just that a lot of folks have to pay for this one.

Sigh. Life does have some detours and bumps. Since it is winter and our roads in Ohio are atrocious, we can say that life has some huge pot holes (some folks call them chuck holes) and when we hit them, we blow out a tire. That costs us to repair the tire and maybe we miss work or an important appointment or some ceremony that we will never get back in our life and who pays for that? Not ODOT, that's for darn sure.

Maybe I should have stopped with the short version.

Some questions pop up as I read my post. There is a lot more to the background of this story than what I have written about here. For example. When my daughter's art teacher asked her why she would be out of school this week, my daughter replied "My cousin is having open heart surgery." To which the teacher replied "If my cousin were having surgery, he could darn well do it by himself!" What the hell kind of response is that? The obvious question would be "Why does my daughter have to go?" My answer. Because her Mother is going and we live by ourselves and there is no other family within a fifty mile radius she could stay with. There is no other family who does not work who could pick up and leave their homes to come and stay with her during this time frame. Without going into a lot of explanation, I cannot leave her by herself for a week. End of story.

The next question might be "Why does your Mother have to go?" My answer. I was there for my nephew. When he was four and I lived with he and his Mother when she was in the army, I was there to care for him. When she lived with me and my Mom and she was out late at night, he would wake up scared in their bedroom and come running to me. I was there at night for him. When she worked in a bar and I worked during the day, I was there for him in the evenings and I bathed him and got him to bed. After he grew up, we remained close sharing our love of computers and he often stopped to see me wherever I lived. I obtained custody of his sister when she was 13 years old, he was 23 and juggling college and work, their mother (my sister) was in prison and my Mother was tragically killed in an automobile accident. He visited almost every week-end while his sister lived with me. The two of them, my daughter and I formed a make shift family. Every holiday we spend together. During the holidays that my sister is free, she spends them with us.

My nephew is thirty years old. His father is dead. His female maternal figures are his mother, his paternal grandmother and his maternal grandmother (my Mom) and me. All grandparents are dead. My sister was supposed to be in prison. His sister is 21 years old. She is struggling with school and living on her own. That leaves me. I am next in line for spending the most amount of time with him. I love him like I would love a son. He means the world to me.

What does my daughter's art teacher know about our family and why my daughter must go with me to Columbus during this surgery? How dare he question something he does not know anything about? Would he like to take my daughter in and get her to school and back and be responsible for her? My daughter will be seventeen years old, this is true. Maybe I was mistaken when I drove her everywhere (we already went over this in a previous post). Maybe I am over protective. Actually, it was her decision to wait for her to get her driver's license. Even if she were able to drive herself and had her own car, would I leave her for a week? Who am I supposed to leave her with? Her boyfriend's family? My co-worker? She told me flat out that she refuses to stay with any friend's family.

Oh, wait. Isn't there another question? A more personal question? Dan Quayle would not approve. If you want to see where this paragraph of my post goes you can look Mr. Quayle up on Wikipedia.com. I won't even start with that topic. That would be some can of worms that would include therapy and therapists, religious beliefs and society beliefs. We make our beds and we must lie in them, isn't this so? So, there I am. We all have our grief in some strange way. We all have pot holes in life that give us flat tires. We all have to pick up the cost of repairing that tire. And, we must all move on. And so, I shall.

Style

I think it would be great to have Venetian blinds like this in my window. Except in blue, of course. Instead of just a plain color, I think they can begin to create beautiful colorful fabric blinds. Maybe they already do.

Plans are set for motel reservations for my nephew's surgery in Columbus. The hospital allows a room for immediate family. My niece was eligible for that room. My sisters and I rented a room in the nearest motel. It is one mile away. The free room that is affiliated with the hospital? Twenty minutes away. How typical.

My nephew was very close to both his grandmothers (who have passed). His father is also gone. I think about them a lot as this surgery approaches.

On my last day of work my co-worker talked me into going out to lunch. It was in the middle of the blinding snow storm. During the meal, she made about a dozen remarks about a guy sitting across the restaurant who kept looking at her. When he got up to leave she asked me if she should run over there and give him her telephone number. My turkey sandwich tried to reappear.

Except for three days, I will be out of the office the entire month of March. I know. I should have just taken the 3 days, too. Maybe I will.

Bare trees

Photo taken February 2007

Since I am not going anywhere these days for work, I pulled a photo from last year. All the trees are cold and bare in Ohio this time of year. Except for those pesky marcescence oak trees in my neighborhood. Their dry, brittle and brown leaves hang on all winter long. Annoying!

My spirits are low and my stress is high. Actually my spirits go up and down like a roller coaster. One day things are going smooth. This plan and that plan come together and it looks like all is going well for my March madness. Then, a phone call on Tuesday. Two weeks. I didn't even think to look to see when my daughter's 9 week school semester would end when we planned the surgery. Ugh. If I pull her she may lose all the credit since the beginning of January. What to do, what to do?

So, would you leave a 16 year old girl alone for a week by herself with all family over an hour away? Nope. Me, neither. Me and this school. We gotta work something out. So my stress soars again. Can they? Can she? Will they give her work to do while we are in Columbus? Will her absent days go over the horrific 18 that they allow students to miss before wiping them off the face of their school record for the entire year? Can I drive her home in the middle of the week, while my sister comes up to stay for two days to drive her back and forth to school for the rest of the week? Can she do a week's worth of school work in two days? Will they bend? Will my sister come up and stay with her? She is now the only money earner in her family. How can I ask her to do this for me?

One brother is watching my dog. He doesn't see very well. Three of my sisters will be with me in Columbus. One brother will be on a cruise. One brother barely speaks to the family. My sister was able to get a continuance to be with us during her son's surgery. She can't drive, but she can do some nursing. Washing clothes, cooking and taking care of household stuff. I'll be the main driver.

Pedal faster, Peruby. I'm dizzy. I have to get organized. I guess I have to tell the school that she needs to go to Columbus with me. I feel like a failure. I feel like I am abnormal in providing a home life and normal school life for my child. Why didn't I plan this better? Why couldn't I have suggested the surgery to be in the summer when she could come with me without missing school? The hospital said, "We recommend that he have this surgery sooner rather than later." I was thinking of him, not myself or my daughter (that sounds horrible).

I worry that the school may not understand why I have to take her with me to Columbus. I am sure they will ask "Can't she stay with anyone?" Okay, then I have to confess to them my trust issues. I won't leave my daughter with anyone but family for a week. I worry that they will think I am a freak who cannot provide adequate care for my daughter. Or, that I cannot make arrangements for her to stay with anybody while I go to Columbus. Why, oh why do I worry about this?

I feel like a failure. Why didn't I insist that she learn to drive a car when she turned 16? This way I could have a second car and she could drive herself to school. But, that wouldn't solve the issue of her having to stay by herself for a week. Why doesn't she have a friend pick her up for school? My daughter doesn't like asking her friend for favors. Sound familiar? Apple doesn't fall far.

When I mentioned to my sister if she could come up and stay with my daughter, she said "The girl is 16 years old! Can't she stay by herself?" Ouch. I feel like a failure. That maybe I have babied her too much. My sister has since said of course she will help me out by coming up and taking care of the cats and driving my daughter to school. Her first response stung and this is why I hate asking people for help. God, how I hope she never finds this blog. I don't mean to sound the way I am afraid it is sounding.

The school levy didn't pass last year. They don't run busses with-in 2 miles of the school. We live one mile from the school. My daughter has to walk 1 mile to get to the bus that picks her up at her home school and is going to take her to the vocational school which is 5 miles away. I know my daughter. She will say screw it and stay home (causing another absent day).

I drive my daughter everywhere because my mother did not drive and I never had rides. (I won't even begin to tell you why I couldn't ask my Dad). I always had to beg rides from sisters, brothers and friends and Mom's of friends. When you see one too many eyes roll at the thought of them having to drive you home or somewhere, you learn real quick not to ask anymore. I did not want my daughter to go through this begging that I went through. I make sure that I offer rides to all of my daughter's friends. I will never forget having to ask for rides when I was young. I look back and I realize that I just quit the activity rather than ask rides from anyone. I always felt like a burden.

So, there. I feel pretty much like a failure. I can't control this. I want to, but it is fast slipping away from me and I feel that it is controlling me.

Big breath. Okay. I know I am not a failure. This is just the jitters. I'll call the school tomorrow. If they allow her to try and do the work until the 14th while she is in Columbus, that will be great. If not, she will have to make up all the credits. So be it. See? I'm feeling better already. Her home schooling orientation is scheduled for the 19th. Her surgery is scheduled for the 26th. Oh, I didn't mention her surgery? I'm getting dizzy again.