Family history

My Mom told me about her grandmother being bed-ridden for the last 7 years of her life suffering from arthritis with bottles of FourRoses as her pain reliever.

My mom herself complained quite often about pain in the sacroiliac joint area.  Her pain reliever was a single dose of Bayer aspirin. I have started to feel a similar pain with this area for a little over  a year, now.

As I was walking the dogs this morning I thought that perhaps with them fusing the "leak" in my finger joint; all the problem may be causing a back up in the rest of my body because nearly every joint hurt this morning. I am not getting better. I will have to see my doctor and I do not want to. I don't want to run around and have this test and that test just to hear them tell me that "You have to live with it"  or   "You will need an operation"..   I do not want an operation nor do I want to live with the pain.

I cannot function like this, that is for certain.

I tried a heating pad first. On my right wrist because that is my main "mouse" user. I do not believe it is carpal tunnel because I have no numbness or tingling. Just pain. Stiff pain. After an hour I broke down and gulped down some Advil.

I cannot lift my coffee cup with one hand. I cannot open jars. I am  having trouble locking the door. I am  having trouble turning the ignition key in the car. I am having a lot of trouble getting up and walking. It could all be a phase.

You know. Like some people have a bad month or a bad year. I wait as long as I can stand it before seeing the doctor because you know what happens. The day you go to see the doctor  you are not in any pain and it is hard to make them believe that you are for real.

Oh, well. I am reading and thinking. I feel that the recent "flare up" is related to poor diet right now. I have not felt well enough to do any "proper" grocery shopping. I have been scraping by on simple stuff that is not good for me. I am going to try to rectify that. If I can just find the energy to get washed up, get to the grocery store and then come back home and fix the food. When it is so much easier to keep popping Advil, sitting with my heating pad and eating toast. Boo! Epic fail.

Ready for bed

Nobody wants to see my finger without some kind of cover on it (except for a few sick family members who I believe like the idea of me in pain), so I am posting one where he is wrapped around a splint, ready for bed.

I will sleep with the splint for a month until I see the Dr. again. They said everything looks great. I looked at my black and purple finger and I said "If  you say so!"  They said everybody says that.

I was somewhat disappointed in "Cowboys and Aliens".  It was later that I realized it relates to the phrase "Cowboys and Indians".  There are Indians in this movie, also. The character played by Wilde was laughable at best.

"Apollo 18" was scary enough to make me jump in places. Really only two characters in the entire movie, plus a third has a little screen time.

Get this thing off of me

Two more hours.

It is painfully obvious

That I don't have a clue as to what I am doing.  I am the type that puts a unit/computer together and only when I have issues, do I look at the manual. I have had more pocket screws from assembling things than I care to admit. When the item falls apart later, I just chalk it up to being made cheap.

I am just now (seven years into my blogging) adding blogs to my Google reader. At least I think I am. I am not real certain I am doing it right.

I do know one thing for certain. There are WAY too many options for a person to choose from. I could get lost looking at all the various themes, etc... while setting this up.

Good grief!

Sweetness

He seems to like me.

My mama told me....

...stop your complainin' at least you have... or don't have...

Yep. My mama's wisdom came through Thanksgiving day. My older brother told  me a story of a friend who had broken both arms and had to have his family do everything  for him.

I gave myself a mental shake. I had both legs, I had both arms, I had both eyes and ears. My mama's voice resonated "Quit complainin'."

I had very little trouble making the booties. I had very little trouble tying the bows. I cut some corners here and there (did not need the glue gun) and the busy, crazy week-end is over.

Back to work today. Pouring buckets outside (which could be the reason I am so sore all over). Talking to sisters yesterday - they are having the same pain issues I am.

We had a lot of laughs, a lot of good food and then passed around the Advil.

Thank-you, Mom. I love you and I miss you.

Finger surgery... what finger surgery?

For some cruel reason my body decides to conjure up every pain it could think of. If it were just the procedure of removing the cyst I would not need any pain medication. My shoulder pain shows up about every two days. It wakes me up in the early morning and I can barely move as I stumble my way to the Advil bottle and recently the Vicodin. I manage to wrap the heating pad over my hurting shoulder and bury myself in my TV chair until an hour or so passes and I can finally move without sounding like an animal caught in a claw trap.

After a couple of days with the shoulder pain, my right wrist begins to feel like it had been twisted backwards and also begins to complain. I found this wrap and managed to wrap it around the wrist so I can type. What the hell is going on? I feel as if I am falling apart.

I fixed about three dishes for my family Thanksgiving get together. My daughter did come over. She did help me. She did all my dishes. She mixed the cheese ball mixture and found out how hard it was to stir it. She sliced up all of my cheese for the cheese tray.

As I pulled into my sister's house, my nephew and his wife pulled in behind. They jumped out of their van and demanded that I go into the house - they would unload my car. I protested, but caught myself. "Let them, let them." 

All day long family asked me about my finger. When I told them it was actually my shoulder, I got shoulder rub after shoulder rub. All day! The shoulder was not in it's severe pain (I cannot stand anybody or anything touching it when it hurts like that) but during it's down time, I can bear the rubbing.

I was a hit with the new baby. He really likes me. I "hogged" him.  I had lots to be thankful for.

There is a baby shower on Sunday. I have to make 50of these:

Aren't they adorable? Except mine will have blue ribbons of course. I had hoped that we could get a start on them Thanksgiving day, but it did not happen. You cut out the bottom of a Styrofoam cup (my apologies for not being very green, here), cut slits to create the tongue, punch holes and begin with the ribbons.

I am not exactly certain how I am going to tie those little bows, but I will figure it out.

So, I woke up this morning and not only does my arm hurt - but my legs would not move without significant pain. I attribute this to walking around the mall yesterday (to find cute baby stuff for the shower) and walking around two grocery stores. I had my cart full at the first one and needed help finding two items. There was no help to be found. I finally tracked down a guy stocking shelves. He was rude and just kept telling me "We don't carry that!" I returned all my items and walked out of that store and drove to another where not only did I find all my items, I saw lots of workers in the store that were more than happy to give me help.

I had banned that first store for five years before for a very similar reason. I will probably stay away another five years again.

I did manage to make it through the day without beating up any grandfathers. Good Gawd!

This morning I stumbled out of bed, swallowed Advil and Vicodin - wrapped myself in my heating pad and my TV chair. It took a good hour but I was finally able to get up and get out to walk the dogs. The strange thing is, after the meds wear off, I do not have as much pain. I may require only a couple of Advil later - but nothing like the pain when I first wake up. Of course, I probably just jinxed it.

Well, my daughter is out of town this week-end and my sisters live too far away. I am on my own. I have a sinkful of dirty dishes (cannot get my finger wet) so I will be using my leaking dish washer. Oh, well.

Time to go and look for my glue gun. I found one of my camera battery chargers and have taken pics, but my usb ports all fried in my computer months ago, so I cannot download them, whereas with my phone I can e-mail them to myself and get them on here.

Maybe Santa will bring me a new USB card?

Yes, doctor... I know exactly when it happened

Picture it. The future. Circa 2020. The doctor sits there in his little white coat. Scribbling on a notepad with an old number 2 pencil. Computers all crashed in the great and massive magnetic explosion of 2017. The human race has had to convert back to paper and pencil. It was not an easy task. Some are still adjusting.

He clears his throat. "Peruby" he says gently, as if he is picking up a delicate glass figurine and examining it. "When did your troubles begin?"

I hung my head to fight back the tears that were stinging the backs of my eyes. I took a ragged breath and lifted my trembling chin. I began weakly, "I can remember it as if it were last week" I sputtered. "It was Thanksgiving week 2011." I sighed. Just saying the time out loud brought a shudder to my body.

"It began the week-end before, really. When nature blesses you with one of those beautiful fall, sunny days and the air is crisp and clean. You are fooled into believing that you are 20 again and can rake leaves for a full hour without tiring and you are smug and happy with the pile you have created."

The doctor seemed to smile as if he could relate to what I was saying. Did he ever try to push his aging body past its' physical limits?  I paused to catch my breath.

" I was scheduled for minor surgery that Monday at the ungodly hour of 6:30 a.m." 

I fell into the trap that so many insurance-strapped Americans fall into. We arrive on time like good little sheep soldiers only to sit and wait wearing a paper-thin hospital gown for hours until we actually go into the operating room. We have time to wonder what all the other Americans of the world are having for breakfast and if they are enjoying their morning coffee (because we have had to skip ours). And we are starting to enter that wonderful world of caffeine withdrawal.

I lay there listening to all the other patients telling complete strangers facts about their lives that I can only imagine they never even tell their closest relative. What brings people to do this? Is it their fear and nervousness? Have nurses heard it all? Do they tune us out? Some are gracious enough to share their own stories when one of ours conjures up a memory. I am not sure if it was from experience or if I am the type of person who clams up when they are afraid nervous, but I said very little.

The doctor waited patiently.

"I had a cyst removed from my finger but all I could think about was the nagging pain in my shoulder. It may have been from raking leaves." I laughed a little. "I have a leaf blower, but being female and not having much upper body strength, I find it hard to hold that monster up while trying to herd the leaves into a pile."  I did not add the fact that I was a total disaster with the blower and managed to scatter the leaves in such a way that Mother Nature herself was impressed.

Should I tell him the hard part? Should I tell him everything? I oscillated back and forth. Yes, no? Tell him, tell him. No, don't -it will sound like you are trying to get pity. I despise pity.

Laying on that cot, I was feeling very exposed and vulnerable "Excuse me nurse? Can you tell me again WHY I have to remove my underwear when I am only having a cyst removed on my finger?"  Seriously?!

I have come to the conclusion that it is their goal, nay - their duty - to bring you to your weakest and most dependent state. They must need that control over you. Heaven forbid you feel confident.

I looked at the doctor hard. I drew a deep breath. I thought to myself 'okay, here goes.'

"There are many things that can cause a person - even one as strong as myself to plunge into despair. I found all of them that week."

"The nurses hit me with a low blow." There must have been seven of them. You know how they write their name on the dry erase board so that you can see who the nurse is? I swear there were seven names up there. Barb, Lisa, Sherry, Dawn, Brenda, Angie and Jennifer. Okay, I made all those names up but one.

The doctor gave me a quizzical look. "A low blow?" he asked.

"Yes!" I said defiantly. "They crossed the line!" Well, as far as I am concerned they crossed the line.

Now, don't get me wrong and do not feel sorry for me. I would hate that. I have an enormous amount of family (all of you who have been reading this blog know this).

He raised his eyebrows, prompting me to continue.

"I made certain how this procedure was going to go back when I saw the doctor in his office. He said I would get a 'local' and did not need to have anybody drive me  home. He also said that I could eat breakfast, etc... But that was all quashed with the pre-registration phone calls from the torturous nurses who forbid me to eat and almost chastised me for not arranging to have somebody drive me home!"

I was getting an 'effin local for chrissakes!

I took a deep breath.

"If those 'effin nurses said it ONE time they said it a hundred, and each frickin' nurse had to say it out loud for everyone to hear each and every time I told them I was there alone. By myself."

Each and every one of those seven nurses replied back to me, "YOU HAVE NO ONE?"

What. the  fuck.?????!!!!!

Why don't  you just shout it from the rooftops that I am some kind of freak of nature? Bitches from hell!

Again, I am not after pity. I am after humor. I was tired from lack of sleep. I was facing the unknown. I did not know how much pain I was going to have to endure. I was in a low phase of vulnerability. No sleep, no coffee, no food, not knowing, dreading the procedure. Yes, I was a tad bit touchy.

I had talked to my daughter but she worked that day and I could not imagine her going with me at 5:30 a.m. to arrive at the hospital at 6:30, so I had decided to drive myself. Easy thing to do when you are clear minded, your tummy is full and the decision is made prior to your long sleepless night. Heh.

Was this seriously the first time these clueless nurses had come across somebody that was alone? Give me a break.

I had to laugh when the doctor came in to mark my finger. He did not ask any "personal" questions. He could care less how I was getting home. Finally, somebody who understands my serious need to be independent.

I came through the procedure just fine, as I knew I would. I was allowed to drive home asap because I was not drugged. To make you feel even weaker, they insist you take a wheel chair to the door. Ah, yes. Nothing chills the bones more than them dragging you off a cot of warm blankets and giving you a brisk roll down the long corridors of a hospital in a flying wheelchair.

To be continued.....

It isn't me

Okay.  I know the confusion is not drug-induced because I did not take any Vicodin. I think TM has some drug-induced ideas, though.

I was a bit put off by "The Tree of Life".  I am sending you to Wikipedia because it explains the movie better than imdb does.

I would like to watch movies that do not need a program guide to understand what the heck is going on.

His work is considered masterpieces. They probably are and I am too thick to get them. Maybe another time.

Dab nab it!

I am going to have to see my dr. about the shoulder pain. It started last Friday. It seems to appear every other day. I thought perhaps it was caused from raking leaves. I last raked on Sunday. When it hurts I am completely incapacitated.

My poor little finger is not even an issue. The finger hurts not a bit. A little stinging here and there but nothing compared to this effin' shoulder pain. I do keep shutting the bandaged finger in my door. When I take the dogs outside, whoops - the finger gets closed in the door. It is because I am holding it out and away from my hand and I can't feel the door with this big bandage on  until the poor finger gets stuck. It is kind of funny and I always tell it I am sorry.

But cripes! I do not want to go through the ten office visits to get this shoulder diagnosed. I had to go through 3 doctors just for my finger. My GP sent me to an orth. He thus sent me to a plastic surgeon. I can only imagine how many appointments I am going to have to go to and take off from work, etc...

Today looks like a pain-free day. As I said  it seems to appear every two or three days. You know as soon as I make a dr. appt. it will disappear for a month or so. That may be worth it.

I am ticked off about not being able to fix my goodies for Thanksgiving dinner. And I have a baby shower on Sunday I am helping to host. I can try to make the food but I am afraid I will aggravate the shoulder. Sigh. I asked my daughter to come over and help. We will see if she remembers. She did come over for an hour last night and watched a movie with me. She has her own issue right now.

Besides, she is the one who had about ten moles cut out of her back a few years back. The stuck needles in her back to numb the area. She had to feel the tugging as they cut them out. That was  a freaking nightmare. Now she has new moles that she has to have looked at. Here she goes again. All the moles are benign so far, but they keep telling her they have to come out. She was only 14 and 15 or so when they did all of that. I can hardly complain about my surgery.

And to top it all off. I have been resting like I am supposed to. Now my lower back hurts like a bitch. It is rather comical, though. When I hobble outside with the dogs and walk around the block. I have my bandaged finger on one hand, I am trying to keep my right arm bent at an angle to keep it from hurting and I am limping and hobbling. My face is puffy from sleeping and I have not washed my hair. I am surprised somebody does not ask me if I have been in a car accident. That is about what it feels like.

I cannot stand to take any vicodin today. That sh!t knocks me out and makes me fall asleep in my tv chair. Thus causing me headaches and lower back pain.

I am gong to Advil it today. I need to go to the grocery store. I need dog food and fixin's for tomorrow's dinner. I cannot sit around another day. I am going nuts.

I hit ten yesterday, briefly

When I escaped to my TV chair, I was hovering between 4 and 6. I napped, when I awoke I was a full blown 8. I decided to get the Vicodin filled. This had nothing to do with my finger surgery. That sucker was still numb!

It was my shoulder. Do you know how many times people bump into your shoulder when you are in a store? OMG! I wanted to scream at them. I was still an angry 8. Waiting on the script to fill, I tried everything I knew to ease the pain. Breathing they teach you in Lamaze classes, distraction, counting backwards, relaxation breathing in and out exercises. I purchased a heating pad and an ice pack.

I finally got out of there. It was in the car that I hit the 10. Starting the key was impossible with my left hand and that huge bandage around my index finger. When I leaned over to fasten my seat belt it hit me. The dam broke. I only allow myself spurts of tears when I am in view of others. I got a grip and drove home. The moment had passed.

I slammed down a pill, cranked the heating pad up to high, stuffed pillows and blankets around me. I had water, remote controls and cell phone within reach. It took an hour but I was in dream land. The heat on my arm was heavenly. My head was in a fog and I was even nice to the animals. They all came running over to me and cuddling around me and I did not mind one bit. 

That was how I spent the rest of my afternoon and evening. I cut back to half a vicodin every 2 hours (all I needed) and a little Advil for the headaches. The RN told me I could take both - just not Tylenol with the vicodin.

This is not the movie I watched last night, but if you ever want to watch screwball comedy, I recommend "Fly Paper".  I enjoyed it so much I played it for family when they came in to stay overnight last week-end. They loved it. We laughed. It was a surprise to me, as I had no idea what it was about. Not a fan of Patrick Dempsey. Ashley Judd is okay. It was really the other characters that made the movie great anyway.

Just a matter of time...

...before the numbing wears off. Had the cyst removed from my finger this morning. I doubt that I will be typing much after the numbness wears off. My shoulder on the other arm hurts like a bitch. Raking leaves? I don't know. It kept me awake almost all Thursday night and last night. I could not take anything after midnight last night so it was very hard to dress and drive, etc.. (No, I did not try to dress while I drove - I mean separately.)

The needle that they used to numb my finger hurt like a bitch, too. Usually shots do not bother me.It would not be so bad if they kept the needle still, but no - they have to move it around while it is in there. Gawd!

I also hated being awake through the tugging and moving while they worked. Yecchh. Medical procedure is not one of my strong suits. You may notice how the iodine turned my entire hand orange. They painted me all the way up to my elbow.

I am full of coffee, have had some food and have downed 3 Advil. Both arms will be incapacitated. I guess I better rethink my dish contributions for Thanksgiving. Unless the shoulder stops hurting. I have a script for Vicodin but not sure when I will venture back out to get that filled. (if at all). My daughter works in a pharmacy - but they are very strict about relatives touching drugs for family. Rightly so. Besides she does not work at MY pharmacy.

Am going to go sit in my tv chair now and tune everything and everybody out. My finger is starting to feel like a tuning fork.

Safe yet?

Nope.

Somedays I feel like a nut

This week has been hell. I don't want to talk about it. This is why I have not posted. Sorry. I just want to crawl under the covers and sleep. See you on the other side. When the sun shines again.

Sable's good side

Here is our Sable without the white markings. They are on the other side. You can see a wee bit on her back. Nobody knows what caused the hair loss or white hairs. Stress - mange. No vet could tell me. The white hairs are very wiry. The patches of skin are dark and dry. We have had her for 8 years and she has had those markings the entire time. I am thinking she may have been traumatized when she was a younger dog.

Still no Jasper. I would think the vet would have some kind of answer/solution for me by now. I am beginning to doubt her. The only thing she says/does is put the catheter in - take it out. Jasper does not pee on his own so she puts it back in to empty his bladder. Poor kitty.

Movies - Water for Elephants. Eh. I do not care for R. Pattinson. It is true, I have never watched any of the Twilight series. I do not care for Harry Potter or LOTR, either. Whew. There! I said it. I love Star Wars  - does that count for anything? Then again, only the first three. I never watched the later ones. Sigh. Back to being a square. I did not like C. Waltz. I can barely tolerate Witherspoon.Water for Elephants was rated very high. I doubt that I will ever watch it again. Movies with animal and woman abuse turn me cold.

Grey land

Dreamers

By Siegfried Sassoon
 

Soldiers are citizens of death's grey land,.....

The big boy

I purchased another doggie coat for him. I'll be taking it back, too. Way too tight. Sable has a double coat of fur, she loves the cold weather. Slade bounces around enough but I think with the short hair he needs something. Especially when it is raining.

Sweet Jasper

My cat, Jasper is in the hospital. I came home from work Wed. and saw little bloody cat paw prints all over my kitchen floor. I remember when I got out of the shower that morning he was sitting on the bath mat waiting for me. Our other cat, Mr. Tibbs was about four feet away and I thought they were dueling. Jasper can fight, but he prefers to walk away.

The vet was closing when I called Wed. He was walking around and drinking water so I made the first appointment I could on Thursday morning. The vet said it was his bladder. He was urinating blood. She said she would have to empty the bladder asap. She would leave a catheter in for two days and if he peed on his own the third day I could take him home.

She said it was serious.

Oh you cruel, cruel world!

My happy, pink monkey face got socked right in the eye. My filter is like a spoiled little kid. I can't turn my back on it for one minute. My schools were getting random blocked. The filter told them the facebook category was blocking them. WTF? How can a category for facebook block dictionary.com? Stupid, stupid filters!

My head began to throb. At least the sore throat seems to be gone for now. Good riddance!

Much better morning

When I woke up I noticed that I had slept about 8 hours. Amazing! I did have a doggie present waiting for me. Oh well. I did notice that I forgot to turn the furnace back on - it was 63 degrees Fahrenheit in the house. Brrrr! I also noticed a headache (time change and being sick).  I clean up the dog stuff first. I turn the coffee pot on second and the furnace on third. I take two Advil What?! No sore throat!? What!? YAY!

Can it be? Can things be turning around? My filters are working and I do not have a sore throat?! Okay. That little pink monkey picture up there? That will be me today! What the heck is that? A banana peel on my head?

Need to retrain myself

The above photo is taken from the internets. Not my kitchen. Mine was much worse. Heh, heh. Anyway, I need to retrain myself. Why is it that when we have a dishwasher we tend to "waste" dishes? "Who cares?" I would ask - "use another plate/glass/fork....I have a dishwasher!"

Yikes. Dishwasher is  now leaking and I must stop using it until I get if fixed. IF I get it fixed. With just me in the house should I even bother? I finally got caught up on my dishes today. It must have been that extra hour, I don't know. I was kicking myself. I told myself 'Look  here,  you have to conserve dishes now. This is a P.I.T.A.' Well, it was more like a pain in the lower back because that is where it gets me with the height of my sink when standing washing dishes. Ugh! 

Six hours yesterday with the techs in California and I am happy to report that the filter for my area schools is functioning again! YAY! I called tech support at 1:00 p.m. They finally called me back at 3:30. While waiting I began to study the log files. I found that I could tell the exact hour that the filter began to have problems. I also noted this was the same hour that a filter tech had applied a hotfix to our appliance. I told them that and mentioned the fact that I had the numbers on reports to prove it, and "voila" they removed the hotfix and all is well. Okay...when I asked the tech for details he would not commit to removing the hotfix. He said that they removed a binary that was applied on the day after the hotfix. My ass!

Come Monday if all is working well, I will discuss this with my manger to see if she wants to lay into them or if she wants me to lay into them. I will have to fill out a customer satisfaction report. Funny thing. Sometimes when it is a problem that goes on like this they mysteriously do not send out an automatic survey. Heh, heh.

My brain is mush

Mush. I saw my dad eat it. I never touched it. Nevuh, I tell you - nevuh! It looks about as appealing as a blog of squishy lard.

Why is my brain mush? The next day after my awful day was worse. MUCH worse. On Wednesday afternoon when I was battling the fact that the filter could now access youtube and facebook did it ever ONCE occur to me to check to make certain that the filter was properly filtering AT ALL?!

I have been so focused on the two favorite sites for students that I did not think to check if the filter was even working.

Guess what? It weren't.

OMG!

I had a school call me at 8:03 a.m. Thursday morning.  I answered and I heard a whisper in my ear. Even with no student in earshot you just do not say it too loud. "My students can get to porn."

Somebody dropped a bomb on me. Well, it sure felt like it. I was already sick. Did I panic? Well...maybe a little. I called my manager and asked him to re-boot both boxes (we had nothing to lose at that time) while I called an emergency call to the company (located in California and just after 5:00 A.M. their time).

All morning we worked. All morning. I placed a few updates to my schools and staff to let them know how we were progressing (which we were not). Not at all. The software company tried this, they tried that. They escalated my problem to an engineer. They were literally scratching their heads. They were ! I could hear them over the telephone line. Scratch, scratch.

When a tech from a school district would send me an e-mail saying that all of a sudden his school could get out to facebook it took everything I had not to write back "Oh yeah, have you tried p!ayb0y.com?" Because after that I bet facebook isn't such a big deal any longer. LOL! Note: We had sent message to all the schools that we were experiencing filter problems, but some just do  not read their e-mails. They don't have time, they say.

Oh, sigh. When I left yesterday at 4:00 p.m. the filters were still not working. At noon my home site went down. Severe hardware failure. Was that the reason my filters were not working properly? They did not get the system back on line until after 8 p.m. last evening and I can go in to work today and test my filters. I will be holding my breath. Please let that have been the reason because I don't think my neck can handle another five to six hours on the phone with tech support.

I met about eight family members after work and immediately gulped down two cold beers. I ended up giving half of the third away and drinking water from there on out. I ate a meal, we had a lot of  laughs then I went home and went to bed.

Ready to tackle another day. Let's hope this one ends better.

Oh - let me gripe just a little bit. I have been with my organization for sixteen years and this one little pet peeve has never changed. When my organization's home office went down, did anybody call me (or my co-worker in another city) to let us know what the hell was going on? Oh, no. I had to call schools to ask them what the issue was. They filled me in.

To my organization's staff: "Thanks, guys". And they wonder why I cop an attitude. How many times have I given a school worker this stupid, dumb look when they ask me something that I don't know about my own organization. The school people always laugh. It is like my organization is this big joke. Nobody can believe that they do not tell us (me and the worker in another city) anything. Always the last to know.

I have complained - you betcha! I tried saying it nice, I tried being sarcastic, I tried whining. Still the same. My managers are very sensitive. You have to choose your words carefully when you try to make a point - so I just quit. They fly off the handle. They point fingers. They make excuses. They tell me I have a bad attitude. I've been through many meetings and arguments about this very issue. It gets me nowhere. I should just laugh it off. The problem with that is - it is not so funny when I would have spent another three to four hours troubleshooting with the software company trying to figure out what was wrong when all along it may be the hardware failure that they had. Nobody thought to call me and say "You know what? You may want to wait and see if this had been the problem all along."

I told the software company that we had a failure. That I did not know if it would cause this failure or not. We were to wait and see. I just hope the software company does not send us a bill.

I almost (I repeat almost) tore into the software people that this resolution was taking too long! That we should not have to be down that long. I am SO glad I did not open up that can of whoop ass on them. Maybe it was because I was sick. Maybe it was because I felt that would just anger them and delay the solution. Truth be told I was waiting until it was resolved and I had a couple of names to call and lay into them. I guess we will find out today if the fault lies with our equipment failure or if we still have an issue and will need to work with them all day again today.

I know one thing. The schools are in an uproar. This (there have been SO many more) is probably the proverbial straw. There are going to be repercussions to this latest disaster. I can feel it.

Sick

Almost everybody has it. Last week all I heard was hack, hack, hack. It just sounds awful. These can go on for days and what are they supposed to do? Report off sick for four days, six days? Not many folks can afford that kind of luxury.

Me? Not a dry hacking cough. I got the sore throat, headache and achy body. I would take Advil for the achy body but I can't swallow. Well, I can get two pills down but they don't touch the headache.

My gums in the problem area are a mess. I brushed with peroxide and now have a huge, swollen bump over the problem tooth. I want to take a sharp toothpick and just poke it because it itches so badly. But, I won't.

Work is so very stressful right now. The filter is a total wreck right now. Facebook and youtube. I cannot seem to win with these two sites. They are driving me insane. I have the company calling me again today. I feel as if I am that little dutch boy trying to hold back the angry waters with his finger. Except he was successful.

In costume... or not?

Last week a few of us had to work after hours to complete a job at a school. It just so happened to coincide with their Fall Festival (a.k.a. Halloween party). Schools are not allowed (or permitted) to use the word Halloween because of it's satanic theme. I am assuming that is the reason why. Or perhaps it is because if draws attention to a certain religion (Satanism) and schools are not permitted to celebrate events. If they have a Halloween celebration then they will have to plan a Christian celebration (what the heck is the Christmas party/concert?) Anyway....

My co-workers and I had been at it for a solid four hours and were a bit slap happy if you know what I mean. As usual nothing was working correctly and we were struggling to figure out what we could do to make it right. I was on the telephone (so I was spared) when a very (and I mean very) young fellow in a cop uniform walked into the office. A few remarks were made about the Fall Festival and his "costume".  The guy co-worker that was with us suddenly became quiet. The young fellow in the cop uniform said something but I didn't catch it. My female co-worker (it was her school) answered him and he left. It was about this same time I was finished with my phone call and she was laughing. I looked at them and said "What? Was he a REAL cop?"  She managed to squeak out a "Yes." The guy said "I thought he was a kid dressed up as a cop until I saw his gun."

Note to all Police Departments. Don't send the youngest on your force to Halloween events. Nobody would take him seriously. It didn't even look like he was shaving, yet - I swear! And, for the record - I doubt that I would recognize a real gun if I saw it. I am happy to report that my eyes did not get down that far. My Mama raised me right! He was just a boy, after all! But he was dead serious. There was no mistaking that look on his face. This young fellow meant business. I think he is going to make a fine officer of the law.

In costume

A co-worker gets into the spirit of the holiday by dressing in a "Clifford" dog suit. I can only imagine how hot it must get inside those things. She did not wear this all day. She was just trying it on. There was also a Curious George but nobody was able to snag pics of the guy that put that outfit on. I was nowhere around but another co-worker sent me this pic from her cell phone.

I am slowly seeing my neighborhood participate a bit more each year. I saw six houses with their porch lights on this year. I had an appointment and came home during the middle of the kids walking around. There was nobody on my street. I think I saw four goblins later while walking the dogs. The kids just do not feel it is worth walking down a street that only has a few porch lights on. I didn't even buy any candy.

The Boxer was mesmerized by the goblins. He stood and stared for as long as I let him. They were across the street and a safe distance away. He would not hurt a fly but he can scare the bejesus out of people when he runs up to them all excited.

I have been having tooth issues (or gum issues) again. This has been off and on since late July. I did something to a molar and at first I thought it was an earache. When the doctor's antibiotics did nothing, I turned to the dentist. His antibiotics either worked or time was the healer. I was okay for a little while. The tooth was still quite sensitive. When I went in for a cleaning at the beginning of October I told him I was still having issues. He filed the tooth down. I think he loosened the filling. It has been irritating me.

I was finally able to pinpoint the exact tooth for him. When I touch it, it is very sensitive. The gums around are all inflamed and itch like crazy. It drives me nuts. I do find that Advil (still my best friend) relieves the itching for a few hours. When I walk the dogs I can feel the blood thumping in that area of my gums. I have been rinsing with a hydrogen peroxide solution. It is like a mosquito bite. It drives me crazy and then I will take my toothbrush and just brush that area for about a half an hour. I know. Not the best thing for the poor gum line.

Glass, light and speed

So many of my schools are in a rural setting. They do not get cable television let alone fiber to their buildings. The state tried to establish a way to give them what the big (money-rich) schools could get. Somebody, somewhere believes that each child should get an equal education and opportunity.

We all know that is hogwash. If a child goes to a big school in the city, they are amazed at how little the rural school has to offer. And now it is more of an issue than ever. Funding cuts.

When it comes down to fixing the roof of the building or repairing the buses that transport the children, there is no money left over for renovating the building to accommodate fiber optics. Buildings built in 1908 do not have the electrical structure we need today to run all the electronics.

The students sit and wait while the teacher struggles to get their technology working. What worked fine for her class yesterday the teacher cannot get to work today. Without the projector or the video unit the class cannot get the benefit of the lesson plan.

Epic fail.

And before you go and say "Go back to the way we did it with books and paper and pencils" - please remember it is the school staff's duty to prepare our children to survive in "today's" world. They will be faced with scads of electronic devices and social networking and shared devices. They will not be reading a book or writing on a piece of paper with a pencil (unless they want to). They are going to need to know how to get a task done and at lightning speed.

The above photo is fused silica the inner core of fiber optics. Glass is technology's best friend. Advil is mine.

Establishing dominance

Sable really had to work to keep her reign as the King of the Hill. Belle really made her work for it.I love how our kitty Moose is hiding in the background.

This is the German Shepherd at maybe eight months? Sable comes in at 105 lbs. This Shepherd still has a lot of growing to do. She is SO long.

This is the best pic I got of her. All other pics came out as a blur.

This close

My daughter's beau was pleasantly surprised with a special event Saturday night at The Stone Pony in Asbury Park. My daughter stayed at his uncle's house sick with a migraine. They go to New Jersey every year for the zombie walk. 

Seeing Bruce would be an event of a lifetime for my daughter's beau. He took this photo with his cell phone.This was a benefit show for Boston College.

Love it!

I told my sister that she should enter this photograph into some sort of contest. Adorable!

How much longer?

My boxer, Slade seems to be saying "Mom, when does she go? This monstrosity of a canine - what do you call her - a German Shepherd? When does she go? She is too big, too noisy, too rambunctious and she vies for all  your attention!"

She pushes every other dog away. That's right. I have five dogs in my house this week-end. My old gal (barrel dog) Sable. The boxer, Slade. My two little rescues, Cheech and Chong. And this young pup, Belle. She is maybe 8 months old and she is a small horse. No, horses are sturdy. She is thin and long. More like a deer. Long legs, bounces around and her tail is heavy and huge. She knocks everything over. Water goes everywhere. She does not sulk. She bounces right back if I reprimand her.

She seems to love the cats. She tries so hard to be their friends. The older two cats were her friends right away. The other three are curious but keep their distance. She however, wants so badly to smell them and get to know them better.

My boxer has had obedience training. That is obvious when I walk him on a leash. I tried to tell my daughter and her beau to get this Shepherd into training. They have not. She pulls my arm out of my socket when I walk her. I did not take the little terrier mixes in because I can handle them. They are under 40 pounds each. But this shepherd. OMG. She is more than a handful. She should be trained. Maybe I'll pay for the training or take her myself. For my daughter's sake.

Don't hate me

For bringing you this link to a big time-waster but fun game. If you enjoy hangman, you may like this one, though the words are a bit odd.

http://www.dedge.com/halloween/

I am on my 12th hour of watching all five dogs. I am betting the kids do not pick them up Sunday night but sometime Monday because they will be too tired from driving all day. I have to admit the dogs were quiet mostly during the night. I heard a whimper here and there and maybe two sharp barks.

I may have a few good stories to tell you. I already have a stoved pinkie finger. That is weird. When growing up we always said "stove a toe" or "stove a finger". That got me wondering where this term came from and what it means.

The best I can come up with is - it came from the word "stave". The dictionary gives a definition (number nine) for stave as:

9. (Scot); to sprain (a finger, toe, etc)

Last evening the neighbor dog ran over to say hello and my daughter's German Shepherd (maybe 8 months old, but getting big) opened up a big can of whoop-ass on him. He was all like WTF?!

The next time we went out he stayed on his side of the yard behind some big stones as if to say, "I'm fine right here, thanks!"

Smirk or smile?

Not one iota of cosmetic surgery was performed with this photo. I added the frame and resized it. That is all. But, is this a smirk or a smile? It almost looks like a smirk that says "Boy do I have THEM trained!"

Smarter choices

Trying to eat better. This is my breakfast plate from a week or so ago. Cheese, toast and fruit. Notice that the cheese and bread are long gone.

You Must Have Been...

...a beautiful baby!

Survival

I laugh and joke when I have a bad day and tell people "Oh, just shoot me, now!" Then I watch a movie that just sobers you up. I watched "The Way Back".  The story is questionable, but there is no denying the harsh conditions that humans bestowed upon other human beings with the Gulag prions camps.

I also happened to catch "The Help" about how black maids were treated in the South during the sixties. It just boggles my mind in an attempt to understand why some people were born in this era and in that country and others were born elsewhere. 

I've had it pretty darn good all my life. It bothers me and makes me wonder how can people treat others like that? I know it goes on today. I know I need to be so grateful that I was born in America and in this time. But why? Why is there so much suffering?

Does it sharpen our will to survive like an exercise? If we all had it easy would we (as a human race) become lazy and lose our sense of survival? With certain people suffering in this way, do their offspring inherit that will and do we (the reader or the witness to such horror) become inspired to keep that will to live alive? Is there a "reason" for all the suffering? Is it to remind us and keep us aware of the need to survive when things get tough? As life inevitably does.

Maybe there is a reason for all this pain and suffering. Like the common cold exercises our immune system so that our bodies are prepared for much bigger illnesses, the suffering of humans keep us sharp for life's unpredictability and extreme conditions.

He liked ME best!

He fit snugly in my arms. He was sucking on a Binky. He had just had his hearing checked. I can only imagine how they do that to a 24 hour old baby. Fog horn and if he jumps he is good? I don't know. He was pleasant and peaceful when I got to hold him. When anybody else took him he cried. (Well, except for the Mother of course - but she needed a break).

He was so beautiful and perfect in every way. It was not a planned Cesarean but the mother's condition became complicated and the process became what is known as arrest of labor. All is well, now. Sigh. Such a wonderful experience and they get to take home the ultimate prize.

Hit over the head

When I log into facebook from  home to converse with friends and family, I cringe. I spend maybe 15 minutes in this program in the evening at home. Why do I cringe? Because I spend all freakin' day at work trying to find ways to block this demon application from getting into the schools that do not want it on their network. It is almost to the point where I don't even want to use it anymore. It has become the bane of my existence.

I would guess the average parent would think that children would want to access porn and games in an attempt to "beat the system" at school. Not so. They want to download music and get onto facebook. Well, maybe some want to play games. To the best of my knowledge porn is not an issue at all. But then there are those teachers...

New Addition

My niece and nephew had their baby today. Trust me. This picture is much, much better than the real thing. Well, probably not to the parents or grandparents. Heh, heh. What is that goop they put on their eyes, anyway? Gross!

More better pictures will come.

Broken

When I purchased my house, I purchased new furniture. I splurged on two blue "cone-shaped" lamps in a beautiful neon blue. I have had those lamps for nine years. I am down by one.

One cat is down one of her nine lives.

Is it too late to ask for my carpet back?

The lamp happened to be on at the time, too. It not only made a big noise but flashed the entire room up like lightning. 

The cat? She high tailed it for the basement and did not show herself for hours. Good thing her self preservation and primal instinct kicked in.

You will need your tissues for this one:  Like Dandelion Dust. Stars B Pepper (ugly as sin but a great actor) and Mira Sorvino. Also with one of my favorites C Hauser and newcomer (to the big screen) K Levering. Seen her before? Yes, in "Drop Dead Diva".  Darn it! I just got P Wilson mixed up with C Hauser. I could have sworn it was C Hauser in "Morning Glory" with R McAdams. Yeesh!

A little wine

That bee is lucky this was the last of my wine. My BIL fished it out and I almost drank the rest. Last sip and all. Hey, I needed something to get me through six hours of screaming, pushing, sticky and crying kids Saturday at the Fall festival.

This was their cranberry flavored wine. Tasted just like Ocean Spray Cranberry juice. It has 11% alcohol by volume. A little tart but so is cranberry juice.

They package it in wine bottle sized frosted crystal Christmas trees that look to make a very nice gift.

Lip smacking good.

It was awesome!

I am so glad I stayed later into the evening to watch this car-eating megasaurus. I was so amazed! It gave a really good show. First it bit a car in half, then it moved on to this red car which was full of pumpkins. It took a big bite of pumpkins, spit them out - then caught the entire patch of pumpkins in the car on fire, roasted them - then ate them. The car was still burning when it was over and the fire men had to put it out.

This machine was just delightful and we were standing way back. I can only imagine what it was like up closer. The day was gorgeous. My sister and I started at one. Drank a bottle of wine and had a bite to eat. Then we met the group with kids. There were 12 of us altogether.

It got a little warm for me and I neglected to wear a hat. This is a kid oriented event. There were kids everywhere. They had a huge mountain of hay bales for them to climb on (the big rolled kind). They had goats for them to feed. They had a peep show (little baby chicks). There were duck races where the kids have to pump the water to make the water go faster. There were pig races. I did not get to see this. One announcement stated that even though it was very nice outside for us, it was a bit warm for the pigs. Of course there was the pumpkin shooter. I want to tell you what. When they shot the pumpkin WAY out with 37 pounds of psi you would lose the pumpkin in the distance before it landed. They were shooting the little pumpkins that people use to bake pies with.

I could go on and on. This farm is adding also. The new feature this year is a Gem Mine. The kids get to mine for pretty stones in a fake mining mill. It costs extra. Hayrides, corn maizes to get lost in... and more.

The place was understaffed. I asked a worker (plunging the toilets) if they paid her enough to do that. She snapped back at me "The FARM doesn't pay anybody enough to do ANYTHING!"  Ouch. The rumor is that the FARM is very stingy and greedy. The lines in the winery were long later in the day. It looked like everybody was drinking wine. Most tables had little children and all the adults were drinking the wine. You had to wonder who in the heck was driving home.

There were people walking around the ground with a bottle of wine in one hand and their little plastic cup in the other. Children were everywhere. The cigarette butts were flying. My niece was worried about a butt hitting her little toddler in the stroller. She is a smoker but she walks away from the crowd (and mostly away from her children) to smoke. She always asked one of us to keep an eye on her children while she and my nephew went away to smoke. And they stand in one place while they are smoking.

They took their van full and left in the afternoon to feed their crew at a fast food restaurant. The winery had food but the only edible choice for children was a $3 pb&j. You can bring your own food in. Not sure if you can bring in coolers of beer. I did not see anybody do that. But I did see a lot of stuff people brought in for their children.

There is a lot more to this place and you can read all about it here:  http://www.maizevalleywinery.com/

Family Fun day

Going to a vineyard today with family for some fall fun. I have not been here before, so this will be a first for me. I am looking forward to the above machine shooting pumpkins at a van out in the cornfield. The kids (grand nieces and nephews, now) will be looking forward to the car eating mechanical dinosaur.

I know you are tired of hearing me say it (or seeing me print it) and I am tired of saying (typing) it: I still can't find my stupid camera battery charger. I want to take pictures but yet I am also free from the task of hanging that thing around my neck and trying to get good pics. Without the camera I can just enjoy myself. But still... I want pictures to post and to enjoy later.

This will be me today

I doubt that I will get a way with it, but I might try.

Oh, dear.

Just what am I supposed to say?

You know, after 16 years of working with schools I probably have said it all. I didn't say I've seen it all or heard it all. I pretty much have said it all.

Let's just get that out of the way. I hate to sweat.

Picture it. A little tiny, dinky town. The elementary is still functioning. Barely. To the west is an Amish county with little to no electricity in their schools. Not much Internet need there. To the North is the wide world of Ohio Industry. The schools are getting along pretty well there. To the South - elementary buildings are closing and the school district is combining into a campus environment. To the East - little city schools - still managing to barely hold their own.

This elementary will probably close next year or the next. No money is being shoveled into it. Their Internet connection is down. I am fighting with the telco. They say it is my equipment, I say it isn't. I swap out my equipment - twice. In that hot, dirty, dark, and tiny wiring closet that I am so used to seeing in every tiny, dinky elementary in rural Ohio.

Sigh. I am no longer 35 years old. I am 51. I am older. I am premenopausal. Is that a word? Hell if I know. Hell if I care. I am hot. I am grouchy. I am getting a headache.The sweat literally pours off my head and into my face. I have no idea where it comes from. It is like I conjure it up out of nowhere. Is it menopause? Ladies? My sisters tell me of night sweats but they don't have this soaking sweat that I seem to experience during the daytime. I do not have night sweats.

Then I look like pure S.H.I.T. My hair is plastered to my head. My face is soaked with moisture. My glasses are steamed up (I have only worn glasses all the time the past year; so I am not completely knowledgeable about how to maintain them while it is raining or while I am sweating profusely). My clothes are sticking to me.

Anyway. The tiny, dark closet is just off the teachers lounge. They come in for lunch. I get the usual. "Are you going to FIX us?"  "Are we still down?"  Here's a tip. If I am still there and you don't see me packing my equipment up - you are STILL down! That question irks me. 

Sorry. It has been SIXTEEN years of the same questions. The same circumstances. Me fighting the telco. For the record I have been wrong a few times. For the record - the telco has been wrong 90% of the time. I swap out my equipment. Twice. Still down.

The secretary comes back. "Are we going to be up today?"  Gee, let's see. Maybe. I am not sure if I have sweated (Yes, blogger I looked this word up in dictionary.com) enough in this dark, hot, dirty closet. I think I'll  keep you down a little bit longer because THAT'S HOW I AM! I AM A MEAN BITCH AND I  HATE ALL OF YOU! And I just love, love, love being in this dirty little closet with no air conditioning - no Internet connection - no cell phone service. It is like the sweat box in prison, I would imagine. Except I have to think and try to troubleshoot. I can't sleep or zone out. No, I have to work. Thank you, but please let me stay in here another hour!

But no........

I smile and tell her that I have done the best that I can do. I have swapped out my equipment twice, but that the equipment is pretty old. She asked me why their tiny little elementary were not getting the new equipment after I explained to her that all other districts were going to fiber. She said they were supposed to get broadband in the area. I smiled weakly at her. I asked her if this little town had cable television. She said "No." Sigh. I said "Then you probably won't have fiber any time soon."

I did say "Is there industry that supports education around here?" She said "Yes" and named a business. I said "Contact them and see if they will put fiber in for you." It was a cheap shot and I knew she would probably not call them, but at least I had a suggestion instead of shrugging my shoulders and saying "You are S.O.L."

She left. What happened to the lottery money that education was supposed to get? I found out by reading the following URL's:

http://www.wlwt.com/money/27667257/detail.html

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/17/cbsnews_investigates/main3269456.shtml

Thank-you lying politicians. Thank-you Mr. Greed.

I painfully do what I am supposed to do and instead of making a beeline for my car and A/C I stop in at the office to sign out properly. I am handed a mercy ticket. The secretary has stepped away from her desk. I quickly sign out and slip out the front door to the sanctuary of my car.

And the wikipedia article on state lottery had one mention of education - it was in their slogan. No mention of school funding. Surprised? Yeah, me too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ohio_Lottery

And you know what? While I am totally disgusted, let me mention a movie. "Brooklyn's Finest."  If there is anything I hate more than sweating, it is watching R Gere in a sex scene. For the love of God man - give it up! Stop it!

God, Cindy -four years? Really?!

Sometimes

you don't need to caption anything.

Ain't no sunshine....

I went to the Fall Festival today. It was not sunny. The above photo is from last year. I did not even take my camera this year. Partly because it was a wet week-end and mostly because I STILL have not found my camera's battery. Sigh.

It was a big muddy mess. I layered my clothing so I did not get cold and only had to put my last jacket on when the rain came in for about 3 minutes. I was comfortable. I looked for a new welcome sign for my front porch (because I can't find my Autumn one - we all know why!), but did not find one that I liked.

Maybe I'll just make my own.

Me & Cody

I sat for maybe 45 seconds for this photo in 1990. I think this is the longest relationship I ever had. Ha, ha, I crack myself up! Cody, Wyoming. The last time I flew in an airplane.I am not afraid of flying. I had my baby nine months later. (Not Cody's). Anyhoo - my daughter has an unfounded fear of flying. We drove everywhere we wanted to go. Florida, Myrtle Beach, Lexington Kentucky, Niagara Falls and many trips to wild, wonderful WV!