Laughter and giggles and noise, OH MY!

I stayed home from work today, sick. I forced myself to sleep. Took some nasty cold medicine that helped enough to make me sleep.

It was about ten minutes before my daughter was to be home from school. I was laying in bed in a fog. Her incision had been hurting her last night and I was wondering, did she do okay at school? I patted her on the back when she had a coughing spell, and she winced. I felt like a dunce. Her friend did the same thing on the way to school.

I was thinking to myself. "Get up Mom. Get into nurse mode. Take care of your little girl."

The door slams. Running footsteps. Dog barking. What was that? Laughter? Giggles? Most definitely. My daughter and her friend were carrying on like two lost sisters who had not seen each other in years.

Mom: "Your back okay?"
Daughter: "Yep!"
Mom: "Not sore?"
Daughter: "Nope!"

Okay. Mom can go back to sleep. Except for the noise level. They proceeded to break the doorknob on the back door. Mom fixed it. It really wasn't broken. Just stuck. Sheesh. Settle down. Mom stumbles her way back to her lovely, soft bed, kicking aside the used tissue mass on the floor.

I figured it is dangerous to fall asleep with a cough drop in your mouth. So, I stuck a lollipop in my mouth during the night. That fixed my dry hacking cough and I didn't worry about choking in my sleep. Yeah, I got that scratchy throat feeling that forces you to cough every time you try to swallow. Or, breathe even. Must go find more lollipops. I took it out before I got to the tootsie roll center.

Tomorrow is my nephew's birthday. I did not get the cake made today. I am thinking I will be off from work tomorrow also. Maybe I will go in for half a day, come home and bake the cake. Don't know. Too tired to think. Need to call about three friends and one maintenance man. Leak in the downstairs bathroom. Need to build up bank account before calling him, though. I have a few things that need to be taken care of around the house.

Still have not found missing camera. Maybe will stay home from work and clean tomorrow. Better check work email to see if anything pressing came up. Okay. Work email is checked. Nothing pressing happening. Nobody is needing me to be at their school tomorrow. Yeah! Can take another guilt-free sick day. My living room had better cough up my camera. I would hate to think that I have to run out to the store and get a disposable or buy film for my old 35mm. Wow, I wonder where that camera is?

Having cough drop heart burn. They are so sickening sweet they started to hurt my teeth. I get itchy teeth when I get sick. Every dentist I have told about this just gives me an incredulous look. C'mon. I am certainly not the only one who has this symptom?

Hey, cough drops reminds me of a joke I read. It goes like this:

A man was walking home alone one night when he hears a BUMP...BUMP...BUMP... behind him. Walking faster, he looks back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...

The man begins to run towards his home, and the coffin bounces quickly after him, faster...faster ...BUMP ... BUMP ...BUMP. He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, and locks the door behind him. However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin flapping ...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. With a CRASH, the coffin breaks down the door. Coming slowly towards him, the man screaming, reaches for something, anything...

All he can find is a box of cough drops!

Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the coffin ...

...and...of...course,

...the coffin stops!

Okay. Am sick. What do you want? Picked up "The Program" by Stephen White at the library today. Thanks to Tabor. Also signed out "Mustang Sallies" by Fawn Germer, "Understanding Paranoia" by Martin Kantor, "Fifty Ways to Protect Your Identity and Your Credit" by Steve Weisman, and believe it or not "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith. Somehow I missed reading this one whilst growing up. I'll letcha' know what I think.

Returned Spiderman II. I have to say I skimmed through this one. Kind of predictable. Also returned Garfield and Hellboy. I never did get around to watching them. They are movies my daughter's boyfriend and his brother picked out.

Signed out Dodgeball, Wimbledon and Unstoppable. I may get the chance to watch them before they are due back on Tuesday. I am overdue on visiting my brother and fixing his computer. His floppy drive won't work and I need to show him how to burn his files to a CD. And, how to get rid of those pesky Yahoo toolbars.

Well, cold medicine is beginning to take effect. Off to another drug-induced fit of sleep tonight. More strange dreams, I am sure. Somehow, I can't remember them. I used to have such vivid dreams, I kept telling myself - start writing them into stories. But, I never did. What a shame.

Spellcheck is funny. It wants to change Spiderman into subterranean, Hellboy into elbow, Dodgeball into deducible, and Wimbledon into ambled. And, get this. It doesn't even recognize the word Spellcheck. It wants to change that word into splices. WTF?

Sure, go ahead - cut my daughter

My little girl - about nine years ago.





Not exactly what I wanted to do. Give someone permission to cut my daughter. This picture was taken about nine years ago. Doc, this is my "little girl!"

I signed the paper.

"Yes, I give you my permission to take a scalpel and cut a piece of skin out of my daughter's back. Sure. And, I will even pay you to do it. Or, well, my insurance will."

Another mole. A pigmented spot on human skin. When she was little I would tell her that the mole on her ankle bone was a beauty mark. I think she believed me. In many countries it is considered a beauty mark. Now, she has a scar there. And, many on her back. I know they will fade in time, but not if they keep cutting more of them.

I wish it had been me on the examination table instead of her. I wish I were the one with moles that need to be removed and sent to a lab. I would trade her half a dozen moles for a hundred on me.

The doctor: "Are you doing okay, Mom?"

Me: "Sure. Just fine. Can you use the navy blue thread like the last surgeon did? It looks so pretty against her pale skin. Do you mind if I take a scalpel for myself? I would like to twist it into my gut about now."

Then, to come home and my daughter calls her boyfriend. He had no idea she was having this minor surgery today. He wanted to know if she could go with him Saturday to a regional wrestling match. Overnight - out of town - in a motel room. He and his family. Mom, Dad, brother and sister, and my daughter. All of them in the same motel room.

Me: "Excuse me? I thought you said the same motel room. "

Daughter: "C'mon Mom! It is NO big deal. Don't you trust me?"

Me: "Trust you? Of course I do. It wouldn't be sending the right message to you." (I am borrowing my counselor's words, here)

Daughter: "Boyfriend's Mom wants to speak with you."

Sheesh. Isn't it enough for one evening that I just survived minor surgery with my daughter? Why do I have to justify my answer to my daughter's boyfriend's Mother?

Me: "No, she cannot go and stay in the same motel with you and your family. Excuse me, I do trust you, but I would like her to heal from this ordeal and I would like to watch over her this week-end. Yes, I am sure she would like to go and I thank you for inviting her. Sorry, I just cannot allow it."

Hang up.

Daughter: "You don't know how I will be feeling this week-end. I'll be fine."

Me: "Daughter dear, that is only part of it. I will not allow you to spend the night in the same motel room with your boyfriend and family. Finished. Non-negotiable. Neeeexxxxxttt!"

Call me the Mom-Nazi. (As in Seinfeld's The Soup Nazi) The End.

Misplaced my camera

I can't find my camera. I took pictures of a chocolate bundt cake that one of my daughter's friends made and I set the camera aside. I have searched all over for it. Has anyone seen it?

I can't say or think of the word bundt without thinking of the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. "Bunnt?" "Bunt!" "Bunn?" "Bunnndddttt!" Of course I would post pictures of it, but....hmmm.. where could it be? The dog? Maybe. I wouldn't be surprised. She has cost me that much, already.

My nephew turns 28 this Friday. I asked him what kind of cake he wanted. He chose this one:

1 yellow cake mix
1 large package of vanilla instant pudding
1 large can of crushed pineapple
1 large container of cool whip

Bake the cake, let cool. You can add a package of pudding to the cake mix before baking it. I like to poke holes in the cake after it has cooled with the handle of a wooden spoon and pour the pudding (after I make it) over the cake, so that it seeps into the holes. I also put a layer of pudding on top of the cake.

Drain the pineapple. Spread the crushed pineapple over the vanilla pudding. Top with cool whip. Refrigerate and serve cold. It is refreshing on warm days. It reminds me of my sister-in-law's punch bowl cake. She makes it with strawberries and layers it in a punch bowl. Very festive.

I bought him a very nice charcoal grey dress shirt with a gorgeous matching tie. He has to dress up for work. Oracle database manager. He likes the dockers stain defender material. Arrow is also making stain resistant clothing.

He also wanted a portfolio or a padfolio to keep his papers, certificates and resumes nice. I found one at Staples. I bought myself an Ott-Lite for reading. Thanks to Tabor, I now have a book to look forward to. At least I will be reading something other than a computer book.

Baronet Butterfly

Okay, maybe there is like one thing I have not taught my daughter. That is what a "baronet" is or how to spell it. Probably because I myself did not know what it was. Well, it really means something in the British world, below a baron yet above a knight. Something like that. I prefer to look at a Baron butterfly.

Out of 44 Spelling Bee contestants, my daughter came in third. Falling out on the word baronet. She spelled it like I would have spelled it. baronette.

Regardless, I am so proud of her.

Collateral

Yeah, now that's what I'm talkin' about. This movie kept me on the edge of my seat. The first Tom Cruise movie that I have really liked. I literally cheered when the character, Max (played by Jamie Foxx) started standing up to Felix (the character played by Javier Bardem). He caught on and ran with it. Survival skills at their best.

The kids watched In America and Starsky and Hutch. I watched bits and pieces of both. I caught the cameos by David Soul and Paul Michael Glaser. One of my dear friend's in high school had such a crush on PMG. I never watched the show, it was carried by ABC. Antenna turned wrong. :( I did drive a 1973 four-door, blue Gran Torino. 351 Cleveland. Yeah.

I'll do anything!

On a Saturday to stall me from cleaning!


Aha, my daughter and her friends have decided to clean for me this morning. My daughter, "Mom, don't you ever clean?" Err...No. The fact that they are cleaning for me is a plus, the negative side is the noise:

The dome

Kind of bumming tonight. I found my niece's blog site. I really wasn't surprised, but I didn't know that she drank and smoked pot so much. She will be 18 years old in 25 days, and graduates from high school in about four months. Supposedly, she doesn't do those things in my house. That explains the lighters I keep finding in the dryer with her clothes. I am glad she lost her license. At least from now until September she has almost no chance of getting a DUI.

Her report card was four B's and two A's. Not at all bad. She can be a very sweet, caring girl. Right now she is going through the normal teenage "I hate the world" and "Don't trust anybody over thirty" stage. She has quite a few wild ideas about how the government should be and why pot should be legalized. She said that it isn't physically addicting. Well, it is psychologically addicting. And, the alcohol. My God, the drinking she and her friends are doing. I can't be a hypocrite. I drank when I was seventeen. Not in that magnitude, but I did it. I did not do any drugs. Not bragging, they just were not available to me. I probably would have done them, as unhappy as I was around that age.

I will take things one month, one week, one day at a time after she turns 18 and after she graduates. According to her on-line journal she doesn't like staying here (she called me a bitch many times in the blog), so maybe she will leave. Poor thing, is in for a rude awakening.

She is getting her own money from Social Security, now. I showed her the cell phone bill. She went way over her minutes. She gave me $80. I hate to tell her, but that was just for the overage. She didn't even realize that she has to pay for the use of the cell phone every month. That in itself, is $35.00. I know what she will say "I thought it was $20.00 a month." Yes, dear - but they soak you in taxes (as in county, state and federal) and then there is product guard (a.k.a. insurance). Welcome to the REAL world! She thinks she hates the system now, just wait.

I plan to have her drug tested like two days before she turns eighteen. I don't think I have any rights afterwards. But, she is living in my house, so maybe I do. I will ask my counselor on Monday. When (not, if) the test comes back positive for drugs, I will tell her that she needs to move on after she graduates. When she moved in with me, I told her no drugs or drinking, that I would have her drug tested whenever I wanted. I did once, all came up negative for any drugs. Of course, that was about three years ago.

I guess I can chalk this up to rehearsal for my daughter. We shall see.

Raindrops on windshields...

...and snow on the ground. A view from the drivers seat of my car looking out on my side yard and dogwood tree. I told you this tree is only pretty for about three weeks out of the year.

Well, I am an amateur at saying "no". I agreed to three days of watching the girl. Then the grandmother called back and asked if the girl could stay here after school for the week of the 22nd through the 25th until her co-worker could pick her up after work. I agreed to that, too. I got out of the ten straight days, but somehow I am reeled back in to here and there. Oh, well. Oh, hell.

My brother got cut at work. Not the fireman. Another brother. This one lives about forty miles away. Where I spent New Year's eve. He works in a lumber yard. He has one of the most dangerous jobs, working with the stationary saws. This was a big blade that is attached to a big piece of equipment and you feed lumber into it. I am not sure if he cut his lower arm or upper arm, but he hit a vein. They had to call a paramedic to butterfly the cut. Then the assholes let him drive home by himself. His ex-wife (live-in) talked him into going to the hospital, where he got five stitches. I hate that he is so much at risk. These mills don't give a shit if an employee cuts himself. They probably give them a psych evaluation to determine who is least likely to sue their sorry asses if they get hurt.

My other brother (the fireman) works in a steel mill. When I lived with him he had so many stories to tell. Scary. The part that was most worrisome is when a bar flew out of the mill path and traveled loose through the mill where the men and women were working. You are talking a red hot piece of steel moving at I don't know what kind of speed and chasing you. Not to mention where it goes if it catches up to you. Luckily, I didn't have any close relatives in the coal mines. Talk about your big, greedy companies taking advantage of the honest, dirt poor, hill people.

Can someone be honest, generous and not broke? Are honest people destined to be poor? In today's society, can a person or family manage without cheating? If you are completely honest, can you survive in today's world? The average "lowest" salary for a professional baseball player is $300,000 with some making into the millions. And, the average teacher gets $60,000. Healthcare gets $45,000. Now, my figures are random lookups, but that is not the point. What does the average soldier make? The perks compared to the average professional baseball player. Supply and demand? Risk your life?

See Squirrel Run

The tail of a quickly disappearing squirrel in my neighbor's back yard. My dog loves to chase them. She will never catch one. At least I hope not. The lazy winter months have added pounds to her. She isn't the only one.

Okay, I did it. I said "no". Some of you will say 'So, what!' But, some of you will know how hard it was for me to do. I was a bit giddy afterwards, until the guilt started. I told my daughter's friend's grandmother that I am sorry, but I could not watch her granddaughter for ten days in February while she and her husband go to Arizona. I just found out the lady's last name today. And, the little friend of my daughter's. I still don't know her last name. That is how new this friend is. I guess my daughter knew her a long time ago, but since, she had moved to another school district and is now back in ours.

This lady has two other daughters. They are not in the school district so I guess it would be inconvenient for them to take the girl in. Well, I declined and although I am proud of myself, I feel the girl will be hurt even more than she already has been. Her own Mother has hit her, lied to her and thrown her out of the house. She is a bit chaotic, I think most of her personality is "too sunny". I think she tries too hard.

Wow, two no's in two weeks. Maybe people can change.



Here is my brother and his rescue crew. It appears that they are helping a man get out of his truck in high water. My brother did not send any details with the pictures. Isn't that just like a man? Brrrrr. I haven't heard from them in a while. Maybe they are busy. The snow is melting around the area, so they are probably dealing with rising water - again. The school district is still closed. My nephew graduates from there this year. I don't know how much he will have to make up. He turns 18 today. Happy Birthday, Scott!

For some reason he was named after one of my old boyfriends. My brother's ex-wife liked the name when we double-dated. A name I would just as soon forget, thank-you. My God, Scott(nephew) was born 8 years after I dated Scott(boyfriend). So 18 plus 8 = 26 years. Sheesh. I think he (Scott boyfriend) is on his second or third marriage. He had four boys with his first wife. Can you imagine? Four boys! Thank God for unanswered prayers! Yes! That could have been me! I'd be bald by now.

My luck didn't get much better after that. However, I did end up with a beautiful daughter. For that, I am eternally grateful.

Perplexed

I don't know what I am feeling other than perplexed. Some people wouldn't have any problem with what I am dealing with, others would find themselves in the same predicament. I have straddled the hurdle of saying "no" to the relative that keeps asking to borrow money. She does pay me back, but I had to learn to say "no".

Now, I have another situation. One of my daughter's friends is living with her grandmother. This just happened about a month ago. Home problems. I met the grandmother last Monday the 17th. Today she came to my house to talk to me. She asked me to watch her granddaughter for ten days in February while she and her husband go on a pre-planned trip to Arizona. Someone else is watching the girl for the week prior to me.

My daughter gets tired of her "best" friend after about 3 days of visiting. I get tired of her, too. I don't know this family very well. I have never met the Mother of the girl. What happens when the Mother comes to my house and wants to take the girl? The grandmother said that probably won't happen. Oh, really? It isn't a situation I want to find myself in. Know what I mean?

I know what my counselor would say. Tell them, "Sorry, it is just too much of an inconvenience." I did tell her I would think about it. This is a good step. I can mull it over to see just how ridiculous this really is. She said she would give me money. It isn't the financial part I am worried about. The girl gets on my nerves when she is here for longer than two hours. She is loud. I know that is normal for fourteen year olds, but she keeps finding me and talking to me or asking me questions. Why do you have cats? Do you like cats? She is starving for maternal attention, I see that. But, I can't be everyone's mother.

At this time, I am considering watching her for five days. I will meet her half way. If someone else could just take her after four or five days, I may be able to tolerate it. My counselor said that everyone dumps their kids onto me. I have custody of my niece. My nephew stayed with me for two months a year or so ago, and my daughter always has one or two girlfriends over for the week-end. My counselor said I need to spend more time with just me and my daughter.

I may have to tell this lady no. It may not be that hard, because she is not family or a friend. I will sleep on it. Oh, my daughter wanted her to spend the entire time here. I can see that she is not thinking clearly, either.

One PB&J comin' up!

My daughter made this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I guess you could eat the whole thing, but I think the only item that would pass the FDA approval is the little green olive on the top.

The slices of bread are Styrofoam. The peanut butter is brown paper bag. The grape jelly is purple tissue paper. She painted around the edges of the sandwich to make it look like crust. It is a school project. She had to tell how to make it and she had to make it out of non-perishable items. I guess they get displayed for long periods of time.

If you want to see some flood pictures of our area you can go here and here. My brother has not sent me any pictures, yet. I can only imagine what hell those people in that area went through (are still going through). School in the one district has been out for two weeks and they are starting on their third week out. I would hate to be a Senior there this year.

Dancing fools

When my daughter and her friends come home from the dance they are too wound up to go to bed. So they crank the music up and dance. Unfortunately, the music at the dance place is edited and my daughter's is not. While snapping pictures, I was a bit jarred by the lyrics of the songs. The girls said they don't listen to the words, they just dance to the beat. Regardless, I made them move on to other songs. I advised my daughter to download the "edited" versions from now, on.

The house was rockin' until 2 a.m. At least they weren't parading around in their underwear with the drapes pulled open. Sheesh.

Random acts of kindness is one of my favorite things to do. Anonymously. There was a gentleman yesterday who walked around the neighborhood with his snow blower and clearing people's drive ways. He did mine and I didn't get outside to thank him before he finished and moved on. The last we saw of him, he was heading up the alley blowing snow into the bushes. Others were saying similar things, an unknown was clearing their driveways, too. Touching.

Well, I broke open a box of Christmas candy yesterday. Hershey's Premium Assortment Pot of Gold. They don't last forever, right? It ain't Lindt's, but it served the purpose.If it had been Lindt's, I probably would have eaten the entire box. I should have made cookies.

Another passion is Starbuck's Vanilla bottled frappuccino. To make matters worse I mix it with Yoohoo. Try going back to regular coffee after that. Double sheesh. Somebody stop me.

I have placed meatballs in the crock pot. I used the grape jelly and chili sauce mix. I had some at the party Friday night and just loved them. I am also fixing vegetable pizza for later today. For the game. The only time I watch football is when my family's "team" is nearing the Super Bowl. I am not an avid fan. In fact, I don't understand half of it. I usually watch the Super Bowl, though. Regardless of what teams are playing.

I was folding towels during the JJ and JT episode last year. My daughter saw it, I missed it. Who cares? They show women's black breasts on PBS all the time.

Repeat Offenders. I drove my niece to her "repeat offenders" class yesterday during the small blizzard we were having. Mercifully, we did not get the predicted amount of snowfall. This is from the speeding ticket she received in November. She lost her driving privileges for nine months. Speaking of repeat offenders, one of my relatives called asking for money again. I was able to say "no" this time. My counselor would be so proud. Although, the reason was because I really didn't have any to spare this time. I have to be able to say "no" when I have the extra money. That will be the real test.

Can you believe that someone still has their outside Christmas lights up and lit? I guess the holidays were just short of a month away. It is strange how we put them up a month, even two months ahead of the day; but think it odd when someone keeps theirs up the same amount of time afterwards.

I watched Calendar Girls. I liked it. The DVD was pretty scratched up, though, and my PC kept freezing up with it. That was a bit annoying. I like being able to watch movies on my computer. I love my monitor. I haven't had time to watch the other movies. I get them for five days. I have yet to watch Uptown Girls and Paycheck. I caught about 15 minutes of The Cat in the Hat. My daughter and a friend watched Clue. They were asking about Tim Curry and what movies he had been in. They had seen him before. He is sinister looking and quite recognizable.

Well, back to my coffee and household chores. Working gals have to catch up on their housework on the week-ends.

Sunspot Baby

I tried to post this one earlier on Friday, but didn't have much luck and I ran out of time. I got together with my girlfriends to celebrate one of the birthdays. Not mine. We played Left, Center, Right or LCR. It was a blast. We started out playing with dimes, I was losing. About ninety cents in the hole. Then we switched to dollar bills and my luck changed. I won three times. The pot was fifteen dollars each time. I put about fifteen in, and won forty-five. So, I am ahead by thirty, give or take a dollar because I loaned out some dimes. They introduced me to Tripoly about two years ago. I love that game, too.

This coming from someone who sent a chain letter back to a relative. To me the LCR was entertaining. We laughed and had a blast. No one was forced to play. Some didn't play. But a chain letter with a lottery ticket, I send back. I broke the chain. I always break the chain. It isn't my cup of tea. I don't play the lottery, either.

My eyes are stinging from the cigarette smoke. This time my medicine held the headache at bay. All the laughing made it pound, but once I got in my car for the quiet drive home, it subsided. We miss our friend who is recovering from her heart attack. We plan to have dinner with her next week.

I'll have to wait until morning to talk to my daughter about the dance tonight. She was asleep when I came home. The snow has not started here, yet. But, they say it is coming. I have to drive my niece to repeat offender's class tomorrow. Only two miles across town. Shouldn't be too bad if we get a bunch of snow.

The picture above is flipped upside down. I thought it looked better this way. Well, I am beat. Movies for the week-end (set). Snacks for the week-end ( set). Milk and juice for the week-end (set). I am trying to cut down on the amount of soft drinks (pop or soda) that I bring into the house. Bread, eggs, cheese (set). Fixings for meatloaf, velveeta shells and cheese (set). What else? Fresh fruit and vegetables (set). Okay, what else? Oh no. Nothing sweet, like cookies. I still have boxes of Christmas candy, will that do? It'll have to. Either that, or bake cookies. Yeah, that sounds good. Cookies. How about peanut butter. Yeah, yeah. Okay, ready. Get the shovel warmed up.

The ugly side of snow.

After driving for about 80 miles in the snow:

Yuck. I don't think this is what Mother Nature has in mind when she decides to whip up some snow. Certainly not very attractive.

Here is something colorful and bright to offset the gray snow.
Beautiful sunshine, where are you? So, finally I figured out how to post more than one picture per post. I knew I could beat the system. I just needed the time and the imagination to figure it out. Maybe it told us how in the Help files, but I only read those as a last resort.

The cute little green alien head I found.
Ha! I'm cookin' now. I can put as many pictures into a post as I want. It has been well over a year since I have worked in html. I guess I'd better get back into it. Okay, I'm done, now.

Snow buddies.

My daughter and her friend after an afternoon of sled riding. Whoa. Sleds are much different than in my day. I am not ashamed to say I was raised on the old flexible flyers. The ones you lay down on face first and steered (or tried to steer) with their handles. I fixed them the usual hot chocolate with marshmallows. I added chocolate redi-whip. They shoveled my front sidewalks.

I shoveled the back sidewalk and my driveway. I am feeling it today. And, we are supposed to get another five inches this week-end. I will stock up on groceries and movies in case we are snowed in for a while. It is so different living in town. Not much chance of being stranded, but sometimes I don't like to drive in it. Today is gray/brown slush all over. Splashes up on the car, on the windows and windshield. You can go through your window washer fluid pretty quick.

My brother and his wife are going stir crazy in their flooded town. I have heard they may have to release more water from the dam. Just when they got a road open so they could get out, it may be closed up again. More water, more water. They emailed me that they are getting sick and tired of it all.

I saw in the paper where my brother's fire department rescued a lady stranded in a van. She got confused because the road signs were not visible and she drove directly into high water, her van was floating, but lodged onto a guard rail. She had an extremely weak signal on her cell phone and had to keep dialing 911. The dispatch called all the area fire departments and they all went out looking for her. They found her and rescued her.

Put me out of my misery!

C'mon people! There has to be someone else out there in the world who hates American Idol as much as I do! I get physically ill! Well, maybe it is the migraine. The medicine doesn't seem to be working. I took a phone call and turned around and my daughter had switched the channel to American Idol. Gag! Cough! Smirk!

I am about as white as a ghost. I hate being sick. Although most of my headache goes away around nine p.m. I have noticed this. I used to think it was because the sun went down, but the sun set long ago. I don't take a warm bath or anything soothing in the evening. It has been quiet most of the evening. Besides, I took a nap after work, it was very quiet. I got up, fixed my daughter some tuna noodle casserole (her favorite). I couldn't eat. Especially not tuna. Sat down and relaxed. I wear sunglasses so the flickering of the television doesn't hurt my eyes. Finally, the headache has dissipated.

I took my medicine at 1 o'clock p.m. today. I was well into the migraine attack. I had a meeting this morning and took a coughing fit. Don't you hate that? Twenty people sitting around, one person speaking and I am choking and gagging. Dry heat. The building furnace had malfunctioned and the meeting room was 56 degrees Fahrenheit when the custodian came in to work this morning. He cranked it and had it up to 74 degrees by meeting time. After all the people piled into the room, it was getting pretty warm in there. I had to leave for about twenty minutes until my fit was over and my eyes had stopped watering. Then, you have to walk back into the meeting while everyone pauses and looks at you. I made it, okay? I didn't die! Sheesh.

Wet snow on tree branches

We haven't had much snow this season. We have a couple of inches on the ground today, and much colder. Almost into the single digits with wind chill factors below zero.

The kids had today off from school. Martin Luther King JR recognition day.
I had the day off from work. My daughter met her friends at the skate place for four hours of skating fun, and my niece went with her brother to see the movie, White Noise. They said it was weird.

I meant to spend the day moving my Christmas decorations from their old, worn-out storage boxes to the new totes that I bought. But, I am such a sap. My friend doesn't get the day off from work, so I volunteered to watch her six year-old. My friend was crying about how hard it was to have two children and the 14 year old gets tired of being forced to watch the six year-old.

So, I fixed pancakes for everyone this morning. That is my daughter, her friend, her friend's sister, my nephew and my niece. I complain to my counselor about feeling used and such, but I wonder. Would I have it any other way? Wouldn't I be terribly lonely? I want to be able to walk into my living room on a Saturday morning and clean up the place. Instead I walk around on tip toes because someone is always asleep on the couch or there are kids stretched out on the floor. I should be thankful.

I am always shush-shushing the dog or my daughter, "So-and-so's sleeping!" The truth is some of them sleep until noon or 1 p.m. The pancakes got them up and moving, though. As long as I don't fix them before 10 o'clock they will get up to eat. Before ten is way too early. My friend's six year old came in at seven o'clock this morning and promptly sat on my nephew sleeping on the couch. I guess she was really walking in her sleep. My daughter is like me. Rarely, can we sleep past seven o'clock. She can barely sleep past six o'clock. I am getting a little lazier in my old age and can sometimes even sleep until nine!

I attribute that to my bedroom being separated from the living room by a huge set of built-into-the-wall closets. One whole wall is closets. They must act as a wonderful sound barrier because I rarely hear anything outside of my bedroom. I always thought I was a light sleeper. Since I moved to this house, I hear very little noise during sleep. I love it.

Okay, we watched Cheaper by the Dozen, Runaway Jury and Raising Helen. I liked Runaway Jury. Gene Hackman! Are you kidding? I don't think I have seen a movie with him in it that I didn't like. Even when he was the really bad guy in Unforgiven. We liked the other two also. On Cinemax, I watched Escape Under Pressure. It was okay. I was never a Rob Lowe fan. And, I am always getting him mixed up with Robbie Benson.

The lampshade

Here is the Lava lamp's shade.

Let's play a game of "Toggle"

We have a new table game. It started shortly after Christmas. It is called Toggle. Not "boggle". Anyone that speaks can play it. Most visitors that come over try it. And try it, and try it. Some use a very authorative speaking voice, others a begging kind of pitch.

Me, I have used them all. Authorative, begging, barking, whining, and yes, even suggestive. You see, it is my daughter's Lava lamp. It turns off and on with a person saying the word "toggle". You won't believe how funny this game can be. Watching new people play is hilarious. Everyone thinks they have the "magic tone" of voice that will get the lamp to turn off and on at command.

So, you can see us sitting around on a late Saturday afternoon barking at a beautiful blue Lava lamp ordering it to "toggle" on and off. Now, the lava part stays on when it is switched on. The lamp part above it holds a 60 watt light bulb. The shade is a psychedelic-looking conversation piece. There is a switch that you can turn to "speak" on or off. If it is on, the lamp will (when it feels like it) toggle on and off as you speak the word "toggle". Although, it has responded on occasion to the word boggle, goggle and only once "Paul Mitchell." We have no idea why. My daughter and niece were having a regular conversation about hair and hair products and when my daughter said "Paul Mitchell" the lamp went off. Hilarious.

The background noise affects the lamp's response. We have to mute the television and keep the conversation of others to a low roar. That isn't too difficult as everyone is caught up on whether the lamp will obey someone's command this time, or not. Toggle, TOggle, TOGGGGGle, Taaawwwgggle!, tallgull!, TAAAWWWGGGLLLEE!, boggle!, google! It is a cantankerous piece of houseware, I'll give it that.

When I mentioned that I used a suggestive tone, it was after my daughter said "Mom, you don't turn it on." Well, of course I considered that a challenge. And said in my most honey-dripping voice, "Hey there big boy - toggle." Nothing. Nada. Darkness. My daughter and her friend laughed hysterically. I sulked the rest of the day. Thus began the biting retort, "You're such a loser, you can't even turn on a lamp!"

I could say this is a tornado

But, it isn't. What is it? This is another picture of the stormy Thursday we had. Remember. I was driving while taking these pics. Yes, it is my windshield wiper.

The flooding has not affected me very much. I didn't read the paper much, but my family has been calling me to see what is going on with my brother in the town surrounded by water. Must have hit the six o'clock news.

They called him, of course, but he has been at the fire station. He does return home to check his messages, so he called them back eventually. So, once they don't get an answer from him, they call me. I live closest to him. He promises me that he is getting plenty of pictures and has downloaded them daily to his pc, and will email me some when he gets the time.

The sun was out yesterday and the day passed with no precipitation. The weather is turning colder, so if we do get any, it should be in the form of snow. Which will take a while to melt, and the flood waters should have receded by then. Oh, my spelling is atrocious today. I just misspelled "percipitation" and "receeded". Where is my brain. I got atrocious right!Maybe my brain is not awake, yet. It isn't even four o'clock.

Schools have a long week-end with Monday off. My daughter and her friends are quite happy. My daughter got her first detention of her life. She has it on Tuesday. Missing homework room. She said she forgot all about it. The teacher said she was being negligent. I told her to take her punishment. She is forgetful sometimes. As, we all are.

My daughter and her friends went to the usual Friday night dance. Her boyfriend doesn't like to dance, so he doesn't go. She came home liking another boy tonight and wanted to call her beau and break up with him. I was totally against this. For starters, this seems to be a repeating scenario. Second, I don't like break-ups over the phone. Third, is she doing this for spite or for an effect of sorts? And lastly, I don't know this new boy very well. I am not sure I care for his friend, that is for sure. Loud, brazen, foul-mouthed, rude. But, the boy my daughter supposedly likes was quiet. Oh, here we go again. I am getting real tired of this roller coaster.

How high's the water, mama?

The skies turned a deep, stormy grey. The wind began to howl. The temperatures rose to the upper 60's. Extremely abnormal for January in Ohio where the average is usually 20 degrees F.

And, it began to rain. More rain on the saturated grounds. The conservatory decided to release the Bolivar dam at 9:00 p.m. The Dover dam would remained closed. The town my brother is in will be surrounded by water by midnight. No way out or in, but by boat. I told him not to exert himself and to be careful.

Now, the temperature begins to plummet. In the 20's overnight and continuing to get colder as the week progresses. What water is laying around will begin to freeze. Making rescue and clean up efforts a near impossible task.

From my post yesterday, it was 1969 that they were able to water ski down the state route. My brother said that the water will be much, much higher than that year. The state route will be under 8 feet of water. I am sure the local newspaper will get an aerial view.

I took some pics from my car during the rain storm. That is one of them posted above. Most of them were taken while I was driving, so they are rather blurry. When I got home, I dropped my camera. It is okay, but what a klutz.

Watched Cold Mountain last evening. I know that War is hell. I know that it is wrong to desert. I didn't know the movie was rated R. I thought it was PG-13. Why, I don't know. It was very graphical in violence and sex. It depresses me to watch such a nightmarish movie. I want something to make me laugh and enjoy the show. I don't want dark, depressing, painful and shocking. I still don't care for Nicole Kidman. Like her legs are going to be shaved during the Civil War. Give me a break.

This reminds me of a movie I watched with Cheryl Ladd as a female coal miner. Her finger nails were long and manicured as she picked clumps of coal in a mine. I laughed and turned the channel. Kentucky Woman. Don't insult our intelligence.

Give me forty acres...

...and I'll turn this rig around. I think Boxcar Willie sang it. Sure, the limo is nice, but can you really imagine driving it? I guess that is why you must have your CDL before you can.

This was a shot from the parking lot of the hotel my daughter and I were staying at in North Carolina - I think it was August 2003. Nice.

We are far away from that, now. I am going to try to get us somewhere this summer for vacation. I would like to see Niagara Falls. I was there when I was ten or so. She is going to D.C. with her class in the spring.

Wait, forget the falls. At this time, I am thinking of somewhere without water. The dams are in danger here. Roads are closed. I don't care much for the desert, but anything dry would be good about now.

My brother's ex-wife's father (get that?) said that he was able to water ski down a state route close to here one year in the 60's. I don't recall what year he said. I couldn't find any info on it.

The on and off ramps to Bolivar and I77 are closed. I drove past them last evening on the way to the hospital. People were pulling off the Interstate to take pictures and gawk. There is a place close to the ramps where you can rent canoes and take rides on the river (in the summer). The buses that take the boaters to and from the drop-off points were submerged in the water so that just the tops of them could be seen. This is a very low point because it gives the canoe travelers easy access.

I recall there was some flooding in the area about 10 years ago. Maybe longer. My brother is a volunteer firefighter. They are standing by with a boat. They may have had to use it by now. One small town is completely surrounded by water. His department placed a truck there before the roads were completely submerged. It is ready to roll in case they have a fire. I don't know how quickly the firemen (and women) could get to the truck if such a thing were to happen. I haven't talked to him in a while.

Our forecast for tomorrow is thunderstorms. Bleak .

The Widow Maker

Here is one of my good friends on December 18th making an ornament. I just got back from visiting her in the hospital. She will be 42 next month. Fortunately she will see that birthday. She had a heart attack last night. The doctor said it was termed "the widow maker". Well, from research on the Internet, I guess that comes to mean different things to different doctors.

Same say it is the left main artery, others the right. In my friends case it was the right. Either way, it was a close call. She just happens to work at a hospital, and was working when it happened. She had bounded up a flight of stairs, felt faint and sat down. The next thing she knew she was on the floor. They said had it happened anywhere else... well, I just don't like to think about that.

So many people poured into her room this evening, I only stayed for a little while. The five of us came, visited and quietly (if you can believe that) left the hospital. We had dinner and talked about anything but our missing sixth friend laying on her back in a hospital bed. She has been told not to move her head. She was finding that very difficult. Her color was good, as were her spirits. I heard her special laugh and it brought tears to my eyes. How close had we come to never hearing that laugh again?

I got to meet her fiance. Under harsh conditions, though. Not in a celebratory way, but in the harsh lighting of a hospital waiting room. Can they make those places any uglier? Who chooses the shades of paint, anyway? Oyster gray and frosty green. Where is the warmth?

Her parents looked very fatigued. They had slept very little. Her twin brother came to visit as did her sister. She must have been exhausted. Rest my dear friend, rest. You have a long road ahead of you. We love you and want you back healthy and strong.

Motion Ocean Picture

My daughter got me a Motion Ocean picture for Christmas. It is a beautiful light blue light. She wasn't sure if maybe I would want to put it in my bedroom, so she got one with some green in it. She is so thoughtful.

The ocean moves when it is on and lit. There is sound (that can be turned off), it makes an ocean wave sound, along with a gull crying in the background. We found the noise annoying so we turned it off. We enjoy the light blue light as a night light in our "blue" living room. It is very pretty and very relaxing. It is framed in a shiny silver. I have yet to hang it. It is very heavy.

You can see more of these beautiful images here. They are just beautiful. They even have alarm clocks and table top pictures.

My counseling session went very well today. My daughter opted not to go. That is okay with me. I wanted to work on my attitude with my niece anyway. My counselor made me see a few things that I had not before. I am full of guilt, and I need to work on that. It is an unwarranted emotion.
She said that I need to look at the positive way I have influenced my niece instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of her personality. I feel responsible for her abruptness, rudeness and inconsideration. I need to be more aware of the fact that she is still in school, she is making decent grades, she is not a drunk or on drugs, she is not staying out all night, she plans to go on to college and further her education. Things like this.

And, the fact that not one of my brothers or sisters have even offered to assist with her upbringing since I have had her in my care. There is that old feeling of abandonment from my siblings, peeking through again. But, that isn't what this post is about.

She said that the resentment is not toward my niece, but towards her Mother who has left me cleaning up her messes and taking over her responsibilities. Something she has done for many years. My counselor said that after the niece is raised, the enabling must stop. I know, I know.

My niece will turn 18 in February. She will graduate from high school in May. Let's take it one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time. I spend too much time worrying about what she will do for monies and such when she is out of high school. I fear that she will free load off of me. Because I am easily taken advantage of. Hence the counseling.

She will not get her license back until September. Her Mother is not up for parole until August. She does not have a job, nor is she trying to look for one. She spends every evening with friends.

I am struggling with all the responsibility. I spent yesterday afternoon helping my daughter with pre-algebra. She and I do not work well together on math. Thank God for the Internet. I just clicked a few web sites, and there it all is. Plug the problems in, and click, there is the solution, plus how it came about getting the solution. She said she felt that she did very well on her quiz today. Here is my favorite site for math.
I struggled with math when I was in school and I want to give her all the support I can. I am going to continue supporting her in the writing area, also. To hell with her school and how they handled Power of the Pen. We did the best we could, we pulled our weight. Someone dropped the ball. I may never know who.

I talked to my daughter about it, she does not want me to go to the school to "discuss" the issue with them. I felt that I should do something for the seventh graders. So that they have a decent chance next year. I still haven't decided yet. I feel that I should mention some concern in the area. I need to calm down first.

I need to begin planning the graduation party for my niece. She said that she doesn't want anything big. She said she won't be here anyway. She will be out partying with her friends. My party will not have alcohol, so I imagine she will have few classmates show up. They just look for the ones with the booze. Some things will never change. I'll just do the best that I can.

Birthdays and Friends

A card from a birthday party last January. Short and sweet. Let's just get down to business. Eat dinner, open the gifts and move on to the celebration. Yee-haw!

I have been party-ing with these girls since 1988. They started before I began working at the Quest. They began hanging with one another in 1984 or so. I am the only one with a child. There are six of us at the core group, and we have a few spares in the mix. The spares are married with grown children. The others in the core group are very much involved with nieces and nephews. We were or are all very close to our Mothers. Two of us have had mothers pass away, two have had fathers pass away while we have all been friends. My father passed away in 1975, long before we gals met.

We get together once a month or so for birthdays, Halloween and Christmas. Since there are no birthdays in October and December. We miss a month once in a while in the summer, with each of us going our separate ways on vacation and such.

They share my trial and tribulation with my daughter and my niece. We have shared ups and downs with boyfriends and engagements; parents and illness. We used to travel to New York, Snowshoe, Toronto, Texas, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Chicago, and Florida. Now, we are lucky if we can get to a restaurant for dinner. Our lives have become very busy and complicated.

Not one of us have married, four of us have purchased houses on our own. Two have live-in guys, one gal is engaged to be married. No date set yet. One is taking care of her Mom and one is taking care of her dad. Three have been engaged to be married, I have been engaged twice. I wonder what happens that some plans just never materialize. With me, I don't think I was serious about either marriage. The first I was probably too young to know what I really wanted and the second one, I was doing all the work in the relationship and I was better off on my own. Maybe we are all controllers.

The nice thing is we care about one another. When we meet, we pick up where we left off a month or so ago. So, did your Mom go visit her brother in Texas? Your brother is getting married? Your niece is pregnant? It is nice. Cozy and comfortable. Good friends, good times.

Back to work tomorrow. I see our counselor for the first time in over a month. My daughter will be going. She went through a lot this month with her boyfriend. I want her to talk to a professional about it. The counselor can put it into so much better words than I. I am too close to the subject(s).

Rude Awakening

I don't have a problem with cute little blonde nymphettes shooting pool at a local pub and fraternizing at night. Really, I don't. I do have a problem with a young, inexperienced thing showing up to escort twelve middle-school children to a school event, reeking of alcohol.

I was in for a rude awakening today. This was the most unplanned, ill prepared, mess of a school activity that I have ever witnessed.

I drove my daughter to the school at 7:15 a.m. The bus was to leave at 7:30. The "coach" as she was called finally showed up at 7:31. She was loaded down with folders and papers, her bag, and a big cup of coffee. No to go cup, no thermos, a regular coffee mug. She was talking up a storm even when she was 20 feet from us. I smelled the alcohol once she was within five feet of me. Whew.

Now, again - I am not a hypocrite. I drank my share when I was in my early twenties. I drank some other people's share, too. I know when I went to work somedays I was still seeing double vision. But, I wasn't around kids. Just other 20, 30 and 40 year-olds. My job was supervising the cashiers in an automotive store. Wow.

Two students did not show up. She was trying to call them with her cell phone. I wouldn't take kindly to anyone calling my house at 7:45 on a Saturday morning. The parent that she finally reached knew nothing about this school activity. My daughter only told me about it at the end of December.

The bus finally gets rolling. I chat with the coach. She is not an employee of the school. She does not have her teaching certificate. She is majoring in education. She does not have her degree, yet. The other coach who did this for years and years, resigned at the beginning of the school year. (August) The school only setup a new coach at the end of December. She thinks that she may have been mistaken in taking the assignment with so little information and experience. Gee, do you think?

Her outfit was the latest from New York City as was her hair. See the picture above. Her outfit consisted of white snap-up pants. When I say snap up, I mean there were snaps down the outside of both pants legs. Her top was a loose (as in holy) knit sweater. She has a long neck scarf on - also loose knit. I had to look twice (maybe three) times to make sure she had a top on underneath the sweater. It was light peach/pink.

Her mannerism proved to me that she was 22 - 24. I didn't ask her age, I was afraid to. Our school was so unprepared for this event, the hosting school treated us like lepers. The lunch was messed up and some of our students had not packed a lunch. Another school had mercy on them and shared their pizza. I was busy in the tab-counting room. It appears that the school was supposed to supply one coach and one other adult to count the ballots. I was drafted in. I didn't mind. It gave me something to do and a chance to chat with other mothers who have been to this event before.

They were appalled at how our school handled the activity. Most of them had been practicing with the students since September. Our group had not practiced once. Our kids got a raw deal. We all did the best we could.

No words.

I just have no words to describe it. A friend sent me this picture of the recent tsunami in Asia. Is it a real photo? I guess. I don't have any reason to doubt it. But, I can't find any words to accompany the photo. I am speechless.

Good-bye Blue Angel

I will see you next year. I am putting away the tree today. Did you receive the joke over the Internet of how the angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree? If not, here is the story.

I traveled to a town south of me, today. A lot of schools were closed or on a two hour delay. My girls had school - all day. My home office closed because of mud slides. Usually I don't see a lot of flooding in my town. Thank God. But, I saw a lot today south of my town. I stuck to the Interstate and a main route, but I couldn't help but rubber neck. So much water with no where to go. My route follows a river southwest. The school I was going to was open, but businesses around it had closed because their parking lots were flooded.

Sometimes I eat lunch at the Bob Evans in this town, it had water flooding the parking lot and up to it's front door. I saw two gas stations closed, their tanks and parking lots flooded. Secondary roads were closed. And me, without my camera. Figures. The rain passed on this morning. I don't know if today or tomorrow will be the worst day for flooding. May depend on where you are at.

I feel bad for the victims of the flood. I feel bad for the victims of the tsunami disaster. I stopped in the lobby outside a store today to catch my breath. I looked up at the "Have you seen this child?" posters. My heart goes out to the parents. One little girl has only been missing a month. She was from Ohio. "Why?," we ask. "Why does if have to be?"

"There is no such thing as monsters". Remember a grown up telling you this? Ah, but there is. There are monsters lurking around hurting children every day. When my daughter was little, I drew a monster head from "Where the Wild Things Are" on a piece of poster board with a red circle around it and a red line though it. It was titled "No Monsters". We hung it above her bed. I wonder if I still have it somewhere. Somewhere in my plethora of extra stuff in the garage.

The Evil Eye

Here is my Precious giving the Evil eye out to anyone who wishes her harm. Maybe in a year, I'll allow anonymous posts again. Blah!

So, oh well. An absolute sinister, rainy, cold, gray day in Ohio. They did not close school so I took another sick day. I did sleep this morning, but this afternoon I got busy. Packing Christmas stuff away. New totes, pack, pack, pack. My under-the-bed tote doesn't fit under my bed. And, it doesn't seal. So much for trying to buy it on sale. Cheap crap.

My daughter is in the Power of the Pen organization. I do not think that the person in charge of this has much experience. She was supposed to contact all of the parents over the Christmas break. Well, how silly is that? It isn't like its everyone's busiest time of the year. Hello! I did get a strange name and number on my caller i.d., but no message. My daughter said she thought that was the teacher. And, I was supposed to know this?

Anyway, we are off and running early Saturday morning. My daughter and I are arguing about how late she can stay out Friday night. She has been going to dances every Friday night for two months. It is over at 10:00, but I thought she should be home earlier to get rested for the event on Saturday. She thinks not. I think so. I realize that ten o'clock isn't all that late, but I take school and school activities seriously. She didn't go out for track (which I recommended because of her speed), so at least we have this.

'Round and 'round we will go. I watched "Stepford Wives" today in an attempt to take it easy. It was so-so. I never have cared for Nicole Kidman (sorry, I just haven't). I do like Bette Midler. And, it figures that Faith Hill would be in there. Isn't she just the perfect little lady that every man would love to have for his wife? She is dipping her toe into everything, isn't she? I do like Tim McGraw's song with Nelly. Is this considered rap? If so, it is a version that I like.

Now, I always did like Elizabeth Montgomery in Bewitched. Kidman had better not screw this character up. I probably shouldn't even watch it, but I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. I think that Elizabeth Montgomery to be one of the most beautiful women on television. IMHO.

I feel like I have two spoon handles sticking out both sides of my throat. It isn't exactly a sore throat, like I am used to. It just feels like it is all swollen and hard to swallow. My temperature is normal, although I feel hot and clammy. No chills. Cranky as hell, though. My skin hurts. Maybe I will just go back to bed. Yeah, and not be able to sleep tonight. I have to go to work tomorrow, I have people emailing me.

"Do you know when you will be back?"

If I don't go back, they will have to make other arrangements. If I can clean up Christmas stuff, I can go to work.

"I'll be there. I may be cranky."

"So, what is any different?"

"Ha! Ha!" I will give them the Evil Eye tomorrow. Glowing red eyes!

Fiber Optics and Angels

Here is a picture of my ex sister-in-law's fiber optics angel. She and my brother were married for a couple of years, divorced and now they just live together. She is 64 and he is 47. It doesn't sound right calling her his girlfriend. She is not his wife. She is his ex-wife but that sounds like they do not live together. Live-in? Lover? What do people call themselves these days? Co-habitator? Significant Other? That always sounded to me like an alien of sorts.

I never married. I never really wanted to. I pretended that I did with two guys, but never made the plans. I just let the relationships drift along until they moved on. I find nothing attractive about marriage. But, hey - that's just me.

I have the flu. Or, some form of it. That is probably the reason for the past couple of days with me sounding very cranky in my posts. And today.

I had to go to the grocery store today. My niece no longer has her license. We needed milk, eggs, cheese, bread, etc.. My head hurt so bad, I wore sunglasses for the sensitivity around my eyes. I was overdue with one movie at the video store. When you are sick, you just don't get these things done. My book was overdue at the library, too.

We had rented "Walking Tall" with The Rock (a.k.a. Dwayne Douglas Johnson). He was born a year before the original Walking Tall came out in theaters. That is the one my sister walked out on because it was too violent for her. This version was violent, also. I don't recall seeing the original but it was one of my brother's favorite movies. If I did see the first run, it was the T.V. edited version, I am sure.

I rented "The Stepford Wives" and "Lost in Translation". I have 5 days to watch them before they are due back. If we get the predicted ice storm tonight and they close schools tomorrow, I may get the chance to watch one. I stayed home sick today and I may stay home tomorrow, too. I am forcing myself to sleep and take it easy instead of cleaning up the living room, my bedroom, taking the tree down, cleaning the kitchen. ETC...

Christ, I am tired. And, I am tired of asking for help from my daughter and niece. Sometimes I think I need a cattle prod to put them in the right frame of mind. Ever see or use a cattle prod? I did once, on a big billy goat and I swore I never would do that to an animal again; unless a life is threatened and I have one handy to use. The goat and I became best of friends. (Once I came to know him better). I was just afraid of him and my sister gave me the prod to keep him away from me. I was young and didn't know any better. Now, I do. Eight size D batteries in that metal stick.

It takes a lot of energy to raise kids. Energy is something that I don't have a lot of. Mental energy, mostly. In her behalf, my daughter cleaned the table for dinner yesterday without me having to ask her to. I was happy and I told her so. Some days I only have to mention one time to do something and she jumps right up and does it. Other days, I need the prod.

Reflections

Where I spent New Year's Eve, this is their light reflecting on their ceiling. Hey, everyone was getting drunk and smoking (cigarettes), so I had to do something. You know what second-hand smoke does to me. I was undulated with it.

I didn't mean to spew forth my buried anger from yesterday's blog. I guess I am a bit sensitive to abandonment. Aren't we all? So, now I take care of myself and hang everyone else. A lot of people have told me that is not the right way to be. A lot of people have survived quite nicely, thank-you, being independent. It is only the ones who cannot comprehend being independent that tell me this. Enough.

I tried getting a financial aid form for my niece at the local University in town. Me and everyone else in the county, I guess. I will try again tomorrow. I need to set aside more time than just my lunch hour. This particular form that she needs (special case, of course) is not available on line. My niece lives with me because her father has passed on, and her mother (my sister) is in prison.

I got custody of my niece when she was 15. She will be 18 in two months. She had stayed with my brother for one year (14) and with a neighbor for a time before that. She was with my Mom when she was 13. My sister has been in and out of prison for the past six years, I guess. I am trying very hard with my niece. She was not a problem for a long time. Now, it seems to be one thing after another. Speeding ticket, loss of license, no job, going through her social security money like it was water. I am putting a stop to that.

I have my daughter and myself in couseling because adding to the family is a stress, no matter who you are. My niece chooses not to go. She went once and didn't like it. Sure, it made her face reality. She says some really snotty things sometimes and I really have to bite my tongue.

I tend to get walked on. I am tired of it. I let it happen to me. I recognize it usually after it has happened. The fact is, I raised this girl a lot when she was a baby, also. She is not a baby any more. I find that I resent her being here, more and more.

I need to see the light.

Do you smell something burning?

If they say you can't overload a socket, then why do they sell the adapters that do just that? My outlet looks like this. Well, not this bad, but close. Back in 1984 my sister and I were putting plastic on the windows at my Mom's house. She threw a piece of pressed plywood into the fireplace. It wasn't long before we realized what a mistake that was.

The fire department came. Luckily for us, the only result was we got our chimney cleaned out real good with that fire. It never went beyond the fireplace. They had to plug an exhaust fan in, and the outlet did look like the above picture. They just shook their heads at us. You could see the smoke for almost a mile. The cars had to stop on the road in front of the house because they couldn't see, the smoke was that black and thick.

I think my sister was just thinking it was a piece of wood. Pressed plywood is like dozens of layers of wood pressed together. It was a rather exciting day for a cloudy, cold and gray November. The year before our furnace had quit. My brother-in-law got it running for us (my Mom and I) and sometime during the night it stopped again. An oil furnace. The temperature was 30 degrees Fahrenheit below zero with a windchill factor of minus 60.

Since it had been cold in the house all day, I drank a lot of hot tea to help keep me warm. We all huddled around the fire place. The guys had a space heater in the basement for where they were working. So, about 3:00 a.m., I had to pee really bad because of all the hot tea I drank. We had left a trickle of water running in the bathtub. I was freezing and trying to hurry. I squinted in the bright light and looked at the bath tub. A frozen solid icicle connected the faucet to the floor of the tub. "Great," I thought. Pipes froze again.

I had a water bottle in my bed room for my freshly permed hair. I shook the bottle. A little crackling. Frozen, but not solid. I huddled under the blankets holding my little dandie terrier close to me so she wouldn't freeze to death. About 6 a.m., my sister came to get us and made us go to her house. The same year, I pulled the thermometer out of the refrigerator and put it on the kitchen sink. At one time it read 8 degrees Fahrenheit. We would joke, "It was so cold, we had to open up the refrigerator to keep warm."

At the time, it wasn't funny. I felt abandoned and betrayed by my brothers and sisters. I resolved during those long nights to never need or depend on them ever again. I so did not want to go here with this blog. This is not what I was meaning to write about at all, but I will leave it.

Happy New Year

Of course, I am in shock, too. 2005? You've got to be kidding. For some reason I didn't think about it this year until last night at the eve's party. 2005? Could the song, 2525 be that impossible?

I remember in January of 1984. I worked at an establishment that had the father and three sons. Two sons were managing the business while dad kind of overlooked it all. I had a huge wall calendar that I would write on and change the month with a marker, etc.

When 1984 rolled around, I wrote on the calendar "Big Brother is watching". A female manager who had been with the company for a while, demanded to know what I meant by it. She thought I was warning the younger brother about the older brother. Or warning the employees that they were being watched. I was like "Oh my God."

There was a saleslady that knew what it meant. That made me feel a little bit better. I assured the other manager that I was referring to a book by George Orwell titled 1984.

Then there was the time I was in El Paso living. At the apartment complex we had a pool. A neighbor lady asked me what I was reading. Having some extra time on my hands, I had gone to the local library and signed out a lot of books that I never had read in high school. I told her and she asked me what I liked to read. I told her mostly I was trying to catch up on the classics. The next day she brought me a book and asked me if it was a classic. It was a dime store romance novel. I sighed and returned to my Dickens.

As for the classics, Quizilla has one for literature classics. I am Tolkien.


J.R.R. Tolkien: Lord of the Rings. You are
entertaining and imaginative, creating whole
new worlds around yourself. Well loved, you
have a whole league of imitators, none of which
is quite as profound as you are. Stories and
songs give a spark of joy in the middle of your
eternal battle with the forces of evil.


Which literature classic are you?
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