I'm a little bit bummed tonight. I am feeling the "Mommy is a meanie" syndrome. Let me backtrack a couple of years. My daughter has wanted a dog for as long as I can remember. I am not one to spend a couple of hundred dollars on a puppy when there are so many dogs in the shelter that need a good home. Granted, they aren't cute, they aren't little pups, but they need love too. So, we picked a mutt. And, a lovable mutt she is. However, she was pretty big and she got bigger.
My daughter is fourteen. I just let her get her ears pierced this year. I do not have mine pierced. Call it my "I want to be different than everybody else" pattern in life, I don't know. I am not afraid of needles or pain. I do not wear jewelry. I am not an accessory person.
My daughter has been 'nagging' me to get an industrial piercing. You can look it up if you want, but take my word for it. It ain't pretty. My older sister said that perhaps she wants something else and by asking for this "horrible" procedure I will settle for a lesser evil. That seems to be the case. Her friend (the one who just had the new puppies) got her cartilage pierced on Sunday. So, if I won't let her have the Industrial, how about the cartilage? It didn't help any that I let my niece get her cartilage and her bellybutton pierced when she was with me (but at sixteen, not fourteen).
I said "No."
"Why?" she asks.
" Cripes. It took me fourteen years before I would let you get just your ears pierced normally, give me time to adjust," says I.
Round and round we go. She is trying to wear me down, I know.
Anyway, now her "friend" has three beautiful little puppies. She is feeling very - what is the word I want? "Lacking?" Underprivileged? You get the picture.
I am the type of person that won't get a pet unless I can "do right" by it. When I was growing up we took in every stray in town. We didn't have the money for us to go to the doctor, let alone take any pets to the veterinarian. How responsible is that? I want to do the right thing when it comes to taking the responsibility of a pet.
My daughter's friend has had about four dogs, ten cats, five bunnies, two hamsters, three guinea pigs and numerous hermit crabs. They are down to just two adult dogs (and now, the three newborn pups) at this time. The others are lost, given away or ran away. I have a sister like that. When she is feeling needy or when she sees a cute animal, she gets one.
Basically, I won't run out and get a puppy just because it is so damn cute. Heaven knows, I would love to have a puppy and a kitten - and I would love to give my daughter the joy of having one of her very own. But, I can't do it. It isn't right.
Anyway.... I asked my daughter if she wanted to go over and see the puppies. "No" she said. She won't even look at the pictures or the movie I have of them. I began wondering why. She loves animals. Everybody loves a little puppy. Is it because she is jealous of her friend? I began to feel bad. (Going back about ten years) Here I have a little girl. Will she ever hold a puppy or a kitten? Will she ever see puppies or kittens being born? No and no.
Jump to fourteen. She has still never held a puppy (that I know of) or a kitten. Our pets were taken in when others tired of them or didn't care for them properly. I am feeling a little bit angry. Why does my daughter have to miss out when I try to do the right thing? How come I have to deny my little girl the pleasure of having a puppy of her very own? I can't run out and get another dog. I can't afford it. Should I have ignored the neglected dogs in the shelter and paid for a puppy? I am feeling so awful about it.
My Mother was raised on a farm. Go way back to West Virginia in the 1920's. Theirs was a harsh life. She witnessed her grandfather batter puppies against the shed wall to kill them instead of raise them. How awful! But, she was able to keep one for her very own.
I just feel that I have failed my daughter this pleasure. Even I had a puppy for a little while when I was a girl. And I held quite a few.
Told you I was in a bummed-out mood. I'm not going to cave and let her get her ear cartilage pierced or anything like that. But, darn it! A puppy is one of the sweetest, cutest most precious things you can hold next to a newborn baby. I just wish I could have done better.
Sigh. Big breath. This mood will be over with in a couple of days.
Edit: 11:26 p.m. - I have to add this to my post. I was catching up on my reading after I posted this evening and I came across three others who also posted about animals. I just can't believe this. For what it is worth, they made me feel better about my choices I posted about above. Thank-you guys! The other bloggers are:
http://thoughtsofaramblingmiki.blogspot.com/
http://mtpeaceofmind.blogspot.com/
http://beautifulsurprise.blogspot.com/
4 comments:
I am not sure I understand. Would you get her a puppy if it was from the shelter and not at a high cost? Or is the whole issue the cost of raising the dog? Whatever you decide, don't beat yourself up about it. Parenting is about making the hard decisions and kids survive all our spurious efforts.
I was confused, so it isn't any wonder that the reader would be, too. Usually when I write it out, I come upon a solution or it helps me to decide.
I am not sure if the shelter gets many puppies, but it is the overall cost of raising the dog that is stopping me.
And, I am wondering if it isn't me that really wants a puppy. Probably seeing the ones on Wednesday brought out some maternal need from me.
Raising a dog can be a big expense, listen to your heart and your wallet, if you already have a pet, leave it at that. I have two dogs and it is almost a mortage payment each time we go to the vet! Your daughter will get "it" when she gets older, and will look back and say, that things were better for your decisions. Too often we, as parents, give in to the kids, trying to please them, and if we look at the kids being raised today, it shows! I try to teach responsibility and consequences for their actions, I only hope that they learn and grow and become better humans for it!
Thanks for the "plug" if you want to read more pet stories, go to: www.prattoons.blogspot.com
his post was the one I referenced the other day. He lost his pet rabbit, ans was very saddened by it, it was a post from either monday or tuesday, I lost track of time!
That is a hard decision. I myself can't even walk into a shelter. I would leave there so miserable and want to help them all.
All of my animals are rescues except for the big guy.
I wish more people would go to the shelter for their pets :)
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