An angel of hope

From Warther's Museum 2007 Christmas display

I am consumed today by a total and complete feeling of sadness and despair. I wasn't this morning. I was fine at my meeting. I do believe it did start after the meeting. It put me into a deep and dark despair. Sometime after lunch it began to envelope me. There are a lot of contributing factors to this particular episode, most of which I won't go into much detail.

I have a relative who is facing the death of a loved one. Her Mother had a massive stroke and is not doing well at all. She is not coherent and she does not know where she is most of the time. The hospital sent her home saying that there was nothing they could do for her. You wonder. Who at the hospital decides this? A team of doctors? The Administrator? Both? The Insurance company? Medicare/Medicaid?

Things are not working out for me as far as my scheduling family to help me out with pets and my daughter. They are not working out at all. I am trying, but I feel like I am getting nowhere and that things are taking longer than I anticipated. I am beating myself up for not starting arrangements sooner than I have. It isn't like I do this every year. People keep asking me questions and I don't have any answers. I don't know. I don't know what I am going to do. I don't know who is going to do what. I am too timid to tell people I need you here this day and this day and I need you to do this, this and that. I don't often "need" anybody. Ugh.

I want to stop my addiction to Ginger ale. I am losing. I want to stop my addiction to news on the web. I read and read about what is going on. I am an information guzzler. I read article after article. I branch off when something interests me. It has a price. I get depressed. Serial killers, hackers, missing children, drug abuse, politics, terrorism - it is bringing me down. I can't seem to stop reading. I want input. More input. I am thirsty for information. What is this addiction?

What is it that a therapist would say? "You are not getting all of your needs met." Who the hell does? And how in the hell are we supposed to know what our needs are? Shelter, food and clothing. Oh, you meant emotional needs! Most of the time I am fine. This is one phase of time (perhaps 4 hours, perhaps 24) out of weeks of content living and feeling good. Everybody gets the blues. Good Time Charlie. Come to think of it I found myself singing that song four times within the past month. Maybe my blue period is lasting longer than 24 hours, eh? Well there you have it. The winter doldrums. Pass the sugary donuts. I'm wallowing in my self pity tonight.

Dusting off my black suit

I turn, aroused from my slumber
A noise, a presence floats from the hall
I hear a hushed and haunted footfall
Ominous death has come to call.

Snow Doe

I've misplaced my camera. Again. I used my daughter's Olympus a couple of times, but I am not familiar with it, so pictures come out blurry. I reached back into my archives from one year ago this month for the above photo of the deer in the snow. Salt Fork region.

I have not received the promised new cable modem from my ISP. Our connection has been cutting out for the past three days, so I am not real certain what is going on. Kids are complaining because they are using the Xbox 360 online and when the Internet cuts out, they get dropped out of their game.

The winter doldrums have set in. I am looking at a busy March. I'll be out of town for about half of the month taking care of things for family. I am busy this month scheduling and rounding up family/friends to take care of my pets and to help out with my daughter. I'll probably be doing a lot of driving back and forth. This will give the little green car a workout. It is now 12 years old as of last month. Since the odometer worked on and off for 2 years, I am not exactly certain the mileage. Since we put the new one in and started at zero, it has over 16 thousand on it. Prior to that the old one read over 150,000. I am estimating we probably didn't register 10,000 to 15,000 miles. Around 190k.

I am not exactly sure why my spell checker quit working. Maybe I should post in Explorer to see if it starts working again there. I am running Firefox 2.0.0.12 version right now.

In my Sunday paper I get The Parade section. It lists the world's worst dictators. I find this interesting as I get older. After watching the movie The Kingdom and researching as to why Americans choose to live in Saudi Arabia, it answers some questions. But, how dangerous. After reading about the way these dictators run their "kingdoms" are just plain scary. And why does the United States keep in contact and trade with them? Oil is an obvious reason, but there are others. Sudan because of gum arabic? An ingredient in soda and candy. Ugh. I chose a great week to stop drinking my beloved Canada Dry Ginger Ale, didn't I?

Zimbabwe for stainless steel. Or rather the stuff that goes into making stainless steel. We do like our stainless steel. The economy in this country appears to have gone kaput, but the United States is owed a great deal of money from them and so we continue to keep negotiations open hoping someday to collect on that debt.

And, as for Uzbekistan, isn't it rather ironic that the largest importer of uranium from that country is given the name "Nukem"? Is that some sort of a joke?

We went to see Jumper at the theater the other night. I wore my ear plugs, but I think I even got a headache from them being in my ears. It was quite uncomfortable and I am not sure I can get used to them. I'll keep trying different types, I guess. The movie was okay, but had a rather lame ending by my account. It is about teleportation.

Like my frill?

Triceratops display at the museum

I read that the frill on the back of the neck quite possibly changed color when facing a potential mate and when facing a potential foe. I guess like a peacock this creature strutted his stuff when mating was a possibility.

First remains were found in Denver, CO. and was thought to be those of an extinct buffalo.

We've had a couple of days off from school because of inclement weather. Did not get much done because inclement weather equals headaches. We did catch a movie The Kingdom. About Saudi Arabia, terrorism, oil and the Bureau.

Lucy didn't fall

Dinkenesh

She only moved around the corner. Well, she may have fallen - but it would have been 3.2 million years ago. And it could have been from out of a tree where she spent most of her time.

It had been a few years since I had been to Cleveland to visit my friend Lucy. The last time I was there I told her that we were kind of growing tired of the trip and we had pretty much exhausted our interest in the area. She said she understood and that she would be there if and when we decided to return. Somewhere along the years, she moved from the East Wall to the South Wall. I told her that change was inevitable. She laughed and said "Don't I know it!"

Lucy is full of stories. You can't imagine her experiences. She doesn't tell me in so many words what her life was like, I pretty much have to make it up as I go along. There was a gentlemen there that was telling everything he knew about Lucy to a man from Nigeria. I already knew how she got her name. What I didn't know was that she was christened during a beer drinking party. Well, I guess they were celebrating, because Lucy was a very special female.

I thought it was Richard Leakey, but it was Johanson. He happened to be the curator of the Cleveland museum during the time that he and Gray discovered Lucy and this is how she ended up in Cleveland. Except she isn't in Cleveland. I was a bit dismayed when I discovered she really resides in Ethiopia, but came to realize that was her "real" home. I have heard that she may be visiting in Houston Texas this year. Just a replica of her resides in Cleveland. Oh.

It was a 93 mile trip one way for my daughter and I. But, we learn. We broaden our brains just a little bit more. For more museum photos, click on the link on the right side bar of the blog "See more of my photos."

Moving on, does this sound legitimate to you? Yesterday in the mail I received a notice from my cable/Internet provider. They stated that they realized they had made a mistake when I added turbo Internet to my service. They realized that I didn't have the correct modem for this service. Not only are they going to send me a new modem to set up, but they are going to credit me for all the months I have had turbo Internet but (by their words) have not had the speed I should have been having. Okay.

I haven't called them to complain in months. What gives? I am suspect. Have you ever heard of a cable company admitting a mistake and compensating you for it? And to top it off, admitting it before you even ask or question the bill and/or service? This is just too fishy for me. I may have a problem with trust, but I have my reasons.

Is there anything in my previous posts that could be incriminating to me? Did I go too far with my daughter and her school? Did I say something about work that I shouldn't have? Hmmm. Interesting. Is this modem going to monitor everywhere I go and each word I type on line? I just don't trust them. Here are their exact words:

(begin letter)

It has come to our attention that the cable modem we provided to you for use with your "Name of Internet Provider" Turbo service needs to be replaced. In the next few days, you will receive a replacement modem via UPS which will allow you to take advantage of the full speeds of Turbo. In the meantime, in order to minimize any inconvenience to you, we have credited your account the difference between the Turbo price you have been paying, and the price we charge to regular customers. Depending on your billing cycle, you should see this credit in your next statement, or the statement after that.

We value your business tremendously and apologize for any inconvenience this situation may cause you. We look forward to providing you with blazing-fast Turbo services for many years to come.

(end letter)

We watched Jodie Foster in The Brave One. It was okay. I didn't like it as much as her recent movies. Too gruesome for me - the violence. Ugh.

Deluge

On my drive today

We've had some rain. It spit a bit of snow, but for the most part - it is warm enough for rain. A little flooding east of me. I captured this image while driving to a school today. The wind was biting cold when I stepped out of my car to take the photo. I didn't tarry.

I am watching Dragonfly with Kevin Costner and it is freaking me out.

What is it?

It's a freshly opened container of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter"

My daughter was amazed at the swirl and had to take a picture. I am thinking this is about four years old - the photo. I think it kind of looks like a diaphragm. Sort of.

As for her hair incident. It seems to have blown over. Monday the supervisor was much nicer to her and let her go to class. The next day in the newspaper I read that the school had to deal with a kid who came to school drunk. Wow. He got something a little bit more interesting to take up his time than my daughter's hair. It only cost me a 12 pack of beer, but hey - it was worth it. The hard part was getting the kid to drink it on a Monday morning. He wanted to wait until Friday. JOKE people, JOKE! I would never buy an underage kid alcohol.

Well, okay. There was this one time. No, no, no I didn't. Just kidding. Again.

Dipping oil

The first time I was at a restaurant that served dipping oil with their bread I almost became physically ill. The other night I found that I couldn't resist it. The spices were perfect.

This may be the recipe for the one served at Carrabbas.

We tried

We had the hair stylist re-color my daughter's hair. It didn't make much of a difference. The photo is a little blurry because it was snapped at 6:30 a.m. with my daughter's camera and I am not familiar with her camera. The school supervisor said to her, "I can see that you are working on it" and he let her go to her classes. He mentioned that he had spoken with the Cosmetology teacher and she had told him how difficult it is for the color of red to hold onto blond hair. Whatever. We'll see what he does tomorrow. We have not done another thing to her hair tonight. She is tired of this and so am I.

She asked me "NOT" to go into the school with her today. I didn't go because she asked me not to. I wanted to confront him again. Probably a good thing that I did not.

Thanks to all who commented that they are as baffled by this as I am. Again, the two reasons are "Unnatural hair color disrupts education and they (as a Career Center) must teach the students to have employability." Somebody said this guy has too much time on his hands and he needs to get a life. My daughter said another teacher told her this.

I know for certain that I have a headache. My daughter is tired of people dying her hair. I don't have much money to spare to hire a lawyer (if I wanted to go that far) and the ACLU makes the comment on their web page for our district that they don't have enough man power to answer the phones, they recommend that I write a letter. Ugh. If push comes to shove, I will ask to meet with the entire Administration staff and the board that supervises this entity. Why does the song by Jeannie C. Rylie keep running through my head? No, on second thought I'll just pull her out for the rest of the year and sign her up for home schooling. Screw it.

On a lighter note, my nephew chose "Carrabbas" for dinner Saturday night. It was packed. We had a party of 8 and had to sit in two different booths, but we were next to one another. The food was great. Better than great. It was a wonderful time. I ordered the zucchini fritte with a roasted garlic aioli dip for an appetizer and my entree was the whitefish wulf in a delicious creamy artichoke sauce. I wonder if they flew it in from Wulf's in Boston? My daughter had the grilled salmon. Exquisite.

Here's the hair

she cannot wear...
in school.

No time

I closed my eyes and picked a photo

This is what you get. I didn't have much time to look for a photo that kind of describes my life right now. This is a picture of a rarely used water fountain in my office building. We have the water coolers planted in three places in the building that serve up delicious cold fresh water. Only rare visitors passing by the men's restroom use this fountain.

My daughter had to sit in "In school suspension" on Thursday because of her hair color. I went a couple of rounds with the school supervisor. I did not win and I did not expect to win. I wanted to argue my point on my daughter's behalf. She had me convinced that it was the amount of the unusual color in her hair the last time instead of the unusual shade. Au contraire. Because of conceding at the beginning of the year to her choice of hair color, I knew that he was going to keep throwing that up in my face. He did. Here is the beginning of a letter I wrote to my newspaper editor (which they did not print, probably a good thing for me, because I signed my name).

At a school near you students are pulled out of the hall in Hitler fashion and being placed in the gas chamber (In-school suspension). Why? Because they are not blond hair and blue eyed. Well, close. Because they have unacceptable hair color or eye make-up. Shades of red, pink, blue green and purple. Anything deemed unacceptable by the Administrator. The reason they cannot wear the unnatural color? It is an educational distraction or it may affect how they are judged in the future when they go off into the world to make a living.

My daughter does not want to change her hair color, but I am taking her tomorrow.

Her junior year in this school and her time with this school administrator is a blip on the radar in her beautiful and creative life. Screw him.

For the record, my daughter is NOT being discriminated against. They are pulling kids out left and right because of hair color and eye shadow and hair style (such as mohawks). I am not certain about piercings and tattoos. I had to wear a dress (or skirt) to school until I was in the 8th grade and I am bristling. Hair color harms nobody nor does it threaten other students. She is not using a lighter and catching paper on fire. She is not dropping banana peels in the hallway in an attempt to get someone to slip and hurt themselves. She is not squirting soap onto the bathroom floor. She is not sassing the teacher. She is not flinging rubber bands at staff or other students. She is not misusing school property. She is not throwing food in the cafeteria. She does her work, she does well. She is not a straight A student, she gets an occasional C.

I understand that limits have to be set. If they let her get away with a magenta/red hair color (even just a patch in her bangs) then they have to let another student get away with lime green, plum purple and Easter egg blue, and so on and so forth. He refused when I offered to have her cover it with a headband or to hide it behind the blond hair with a paper clip. Not acceptable, he said. I understand rules have to be followed. But the handbook was too vague for his argument. The rulebook reads:

"Hair color is to be of a natural shade as deemed acceptable by the Administrators."

There are 10 administrators and only 2 have seen her hair. I asked. He said that all Administrators are on the same page and in agreement with him. Hmmm. I asked him if he had a chart to determine what shades of red are acceptable and what shades are not. He said "No." I said then it is a matter of opinion. He agreed. He kept repeating "A color they can be born with or close to it." I scoffed. Another opinion. Oh, bother again. I am getting fired up. Again.

For the most part we are getting her hair changed because it did fade into a lot of pink. That is not what she wanted. She told me she wasn't going to do it. She wants me to pull her and home school her. It is something I have been against for years. I would consider it if it is just for the remainder of the year. Another point is the fact that we are very unhappy with the school's graphic arts program. I figure if she can do her math, English, government and science at home, then I can take her to the University for Graphics arts classes. Directly across from her current school.

Walking in the mall yesterday, I saw girls with green hair, red striped hair, and other various darker colors. I asked them where they went to school. "Home schooled" was the answer from each and every one of them.

I swore I wouldn't do it. The homeschooling. Arrgghh! Then where would she go for her Senior year? There is open enrollment. Worry about that when it comes. I have another reason in favor of homeschooling that I won't go into at this time. Big decisions. The pro's column of homeschooling is getting longer. I work at the place that actually offers the orientation and arranges the schooling. How convenient is that? I talk to the staff daily.

I cannot get in touch with my nephew who is supposed to be coming into town for a birthday dinner and a lot of family are waiting for me to let them know where the dinner is. He has not picked the restaurant or let me know what time he will be arriving. He didn't even answer his cell phone or return my call. This has me beyond worried.

One of my cats vomited and my daughter found a worm in it. The vet is diagnosing the worm as I type. I told them I want to treat all my cats and my dog if necessary for whatever it is. Yuck. I am about ready to hurl my coffee. Moving on.

What else? Oh, I have had a migraine on and off all week. Silent scream. I really didn't want to take any more medicine today, but guess what? It won't stop. It begins in the eyes and then I get really sick to my stomach. Sleeping makes me feel much worse. The medicine works wonders, but how many times a week am I supposed to take it? The weather in this Ohio Valley has been nuts, that is for sure.

I have a cake to bake and a house to clean. I have no time for migraines.

Well, the vet's office just called. I am off to get my babies their worm medicine. I chose the drops on the back of the neck instead of 2 pills for each cat. Could you imagine? I wouldn't have any skin left on my arms or hands if I had to force 2 pills down each cat's gullet.

My head is really pounding, now. My 3 Advil didn't last long. Ugh.

Just another gray day

Photo taken last year

A tire swing sits idle in the snowy quiet of Coshocton county. Pulled from my archives taken in February 2007. Not much different today. Had some snowy, slick roads I found myself driving in last night. I stayed indoors today.

Even when a lot of my friends have quit smoking, just two or three who still smoke can fill up a room and poison the atmosphere. My eyes stung like somebody had shoved hot pokers in them and then to drive home on snow covered roads where I couldn't see the lane lines made for a miserable journey. Ugh. My eyes still sting.

The snow days have spoiled me as far as driving goes. As the years (dare I say decades) go by, I find my night vision dimming a great deal. I always did have trouble driving in the rain at night. My eyes seem to be sensitive to headlights on cars and the glare they give off on the wet highway. I suppose I need to pay attention to the weather a bit more and not catch myself out driving after dark in precipitation. I hate limitations of this sort.

Peek - a - boo

Left to right. Titten and Mr. Tibbs

I call Titten "Marmalade". Sometimes I call her a name not printable here because every once in a while she still does not use the litter box.

Internet is slower than molasses today.

Uncertain

My Grand Nephew

It is Ohio. It is January. Let's go sliding in the snow. It is always a bit scary at first. I remember pulling the little ones and they were never ready. One good jerk on the sled and they always fell off backwards. LOL! Good times.

I cannot let the evening go by without mentioning how much my daughter and I enjoyed watching Heath in A Knight's Tale. Too tragic. Nuff said.

My day today. I have to really hand it to some folks. But, first. I can tell you honestly that when I was in my 20's I was a bit full of myself. I was cold and aloof at times. Not all the time. There were some folks that would remember me as uppity and bitchy. I am not sure where along the way I discovered that I had control over my attitude, but I found it. I can only figure that I must have been one unhappy person. And so, goes my conversation with somebody who reminded me of myself.

I called my Insurance provider to see if my daughter's upcoming surgery would be covered at the new hospital we were going to go to. At first you get an automated voice asking you questions. It wasn't long before I was transferred to a live cold-hearted human being.

Here is how that conversation went:

I dialed the toll free number.

MM automated voice : Does your membership ID have a letter in it?

Me: yes

MM automated voice: Okay. Please give me your membership ID number.

Me: 123-45-6789A

MM automated voice: I'm sorry. Can you repeat that?

Me: Speaking very distinctly. 123-45-6789A.

MM automated voice: I'm sorry I am having so much trouble. Please hold for the next available operator.

Pause (cheesy music)

MM Next Available operator: What is your membership ID number?

Me: 123-45-6789A.

MM Next Available Operator: And, your Social Security number?

Me: That is my Social security number.

MM Next Available Operator: Pardon?

Me: The membership ID is my social security number.

MM Next Available Operator: (sarcastic tone) I've never known a social security number to have a letter in it!

Me: Laughing. Without the "A" (is she an idiot?) (Am I an idiot for laughing?)

MM Next Available Operator: (annoyed tone) I didn't know that.

Me: (Still laughing. Certainly, I am an idiot.) Sorry.

MM Next Available Operator: (very annoyed tone)How may I help you?

Me: I'd like to check and see if a hospital is covered in my network.

MM Next Available Operator: What hospital would that be?

Me: Akron Children's Hospital.

pause

MM Next Available Operator: I don't see that hospital listed, ma'am.

Me: Hmmm. (a bit confused because it is very large). How about we check the surgeon's medical group?

MM Next Available Operator: Are we done checking on the hospital, because you are jumping around!

Me: (A bit taken aback). It's Akron Plas...

MM Next Available Operator: (clearly interrupting me) What is the name of your surgeon?

Me: (Really taken aback). I said the name of the surgeon, Layman.

MM Next Available Operator: First name?

Me: James.

MM Next Available Operator: Your surgeon is in your network and she named the surgeons' Practice.

Me: (Incredulously thinking to myself: Akron Plastic Surgeons to Akron Children's hospital. Big jump, there!). Okay. How about the hospital - Akron Children's Hospital?

MM Next Available Operator: What county is it in?

Me: Summit county.

MM Next Available Operator: Hold on.

Cheesy music.

MM Next Available Operator: The hospital name is Children's Medical Center of Akron. Please make sure you have the name right, or we cannot accurately look it up in the network.

Me: (Thinking to myself: JESUS H. CHRIST!) It is listed all over the Internet as Akron Children's Hospital, the website is www.akronchildrens.org (I had located it on Google while on hold).

MM Next Available Operator: (silence)

Me: So, it is covered under my network?

MM Next Available Operator: It is listed in the network.

Me: Okay. Thank-you (and I hang up.)

I mean really. Am I supposed to guess how they have the hospital listed? The surgeon told me Akron Children's. The receptionist told me Akron Children's. The Internet lists it as Akron Children's and that is what it is called all over the web page until you scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page where in tiny little letters it reads: Children's Medical Center of Akron. Good God! Maybe Medical Mutual could reference Akron Children's to Children's Medical Center of Akron. What a database!

Yes, I am ashamed to say that my uppity secretary attitude from twenty-seven years ago has come back to bite me in the ass. A taste of my own medicine.

Mr. Tibbs

He is a pain, he is a joy

He is extremely lovable. He curls up beside me whenever he gets the chance. He has to be touching me or laying over me or part of me. My daughter asks "Why does he like you so much?" I have this relationship with Casper, but Casper is content to sit next to me. Not on me.

I felt that for Martin Luther King Day I would mention "Mr. Tibbs." The older I get the more I have to come to the terms of folks who have no idea what "Mr. Tibbs" is or where I came up with that name. What do they call you up there?

Even after watching The Lion King, where Pumbaa shouts: "They call me, Mr. Pig!" Here is a little bit of trivia for you. The guy who voiced Pumbaa on The Lion King is the same guy who stripped down to nothing on the Seinfeld episode "The Subway".

I have always liked Sidney Poitier since I first saw him on screen. I have never seen "In the Heat of the Night." I think I must remedy that.

We are headed north to Akron today. Park West Center for Plastic Surgeons. The physician we are meeting with will be the one to remove the next set of moles from my daughter. They are not located on her back. They are in a more sensitive area where she will need more than just a few shots to numb the pain. We are so thrilled about this. Today is just a consultation.

She nor I had to miss work or school for this appointment. I am going to try and schedule it during her spring break so that she doesn't have to miss school. Her school is very strict about absenteeism. It is almost to the point of where she goes even if she is sick. If you miss more than 18 days in the school year it is as if you didn't go at all. No credit. My feathers are ruffled a bit. They started with me and the red in her hair at the beginning of the year and we sidestepped that issue. Now, they are on me about her attendance. Between migraines and the mole removal I am about ready to sink my teeth into some superintendent's jugular vein.

I did speak to the attendance officer about my daughter. At that time she had only missed 5 days. I think we are up to 7, now. She said that she only knew of exceptions when there was a serious car accident. I have called the director of the school twice leaving a message. I told him I was aware of the policy and there have been medical issues. He has never returned my calls, so I imagine he is not all that interested in any excuses. Huh.

The sentry

Checking me out

As I slowly drove my car along the back road, this guard dog paused and turned as if to give me a stern warning. I moved along.

It is getting cold in my neck of the woods this week-end. Extra blankets and throws are all washed and ready for use. Because of pet hair, they need washed more often than usual.

Cupboard is stocked with plenty of hot chocolate. Crock pot is full of shredded roast beef for tasty, hot sandwiches.

Tomorrow I travel. Computer work for family. That's okay. Her house is toasty warm and the last time I checked, my car's heater was working pretty good.

Check it, folks. We are in the middle of January in Ohio.

The good, the bad and the ugly

Three pictures layered together

For a sample of what my daughter does, go here.

The good:

All my sisters and brothers are on-line, now. One brother does not actually get on-line himself, his wife does. The last one - the sister closest to me in age lives out on a country ridge. It is beautiful and private, but little in the way of new technology. She went with her dish satellite. A little bumpy at first, but improving.

The bad:

Removed by the author.

The ugly:

I watched A Mighty Heart over the week-end. I can't believe that was four days ago. My time does go fast. Oh. That's right. I lost almost a complete day due to a migraine Monday. Figures. Anyway, I did want to see the movie because it is based on fact. I doubt that I will read the book. I do believe that Miss Jolie did very well in the role. I like about 2 of her movies. Three, now.

At the end when she was narrating, I did catch a very interesting point. She said that she had learned something because when somebody e-mailed her they had included an e-mail that had been sent to them. Reading that other person's email told her something, I can't quite recall what it was. I think it may have been that her husband's body had been cut up into 10 pieces. So, remember when you are forwarding email, that most of the time the one you just read will be seen by the person you are forwarding to. It is quite common for folks to read unsavory stuff this way.

I cannot even imagine the life that her son, Adam will have to lead. That video of her husband's beheading is out there somewhere for viewing. It makes me sick to my stomach. I can't even bring myself to search for it, to see for sure. I don't want to see any part of the damn thing. You can read more about Daniel Pearl at www.en.wikipedia.com and search for his name. Of course she has not viewed the video. Can you believe that a reporter asked her that question? "Did you see the video?" She replied with "Have you no decency? How can you ask me that?" Crass.

Fractured

Pretty much how my head feels recovering with a migraine headache

The background is fuzzy, but there are these spots that appear or make themselves known in blaring and obvious ways. This is how my brain feels when I have a migraine. Fuzzy, yet acute spots that hurt. Painful and piercing through the murk. Prickly blobs of abstract thoughts.

I took the medicine and after 90 minutes I was feeling great. So good in fact, I ate. I had skipped lunch and I felt hungry. Big mistake. Now I am back to sunspots. I always described eyesight during a migraine as this. When you come into the dim house after staring at sun-blinding snow. You see spots. That is what a migraine does to me. When I was 12 I stared at the chalkboard in science class. The teacher wrote a bunch of stuff across it. Letters were missing as I stared. If I looked at another area, those letters appeared and other ones disappeared. The vision speckles made me sick to my stomach. Still do.

So when I started to work on the above photo, I was feeling great. Now, not so good. I wanted to write about something, but now I don't much feel like it. Maybe later.

Paloosa

Never was one of my favorite coats on a horse.

Not so bad

This was my world today. It wasn't gray. It wasn't cold. It is unseasonably warm for January in Ohio. The sun was shining bright. The wind had whipped clouds into a frothy mix in the sky and then the wind left. The puffy clouds remained. It brought in a bit cooler weather. I think we are still above normal, though.

My drive was brief. I swapped some network equipment out. The work was brief. The school went down 3 hours after I left. I knew it. It wasn't my equipment. It was the telephone company. Usually is. They don't care. They don't have to face the angry customer. They arrange it so that they do all their work remotely. A pole in a field somewhere. Rarely do they come inside the building.

And they know they are the only game in town. But, for how long?

Iron my shirt!

Women. Keep on keepin' on! We have come a long way. Our daughters will have it better than we. Their daughters even better. Keep on keepin' on. Iron my shirt, hell. We are iron. (Giving the raspberry) Change my tire, so I can run over your ass!

Calgon bubbles... take me away!

I do not have a stressful life. Really, I don't. I play things pretty low key. I don't jump to conclusions (very often) and I don't get excited easily. I do get angry, but I did not learn how to properly address anger. That is another story.

I have had a mini vacation of sorts. Not from work, but from my co-worker. I have worked in a lot of offices. She is back one day and I am ready for the bubbles. You could say she had a melt down. I don't mind listening to how her time off helped her. It didn't. She came back pretty much the same as shortly before she left.

She is completely self absorbed.

I read something so disturbing in the paper this evening. It makes me sick to my stomach. A dog was discovered frozen to death. The guy said one of his kids gave it a bath last week and the next day he found it frozen to death. I am trying very hard to swallow the lump in my throat. Not tears but vomit. I think I'll go give my galoot a big hug and a treat.

A Christmas couple

My niece and her beau

Since my niece moved to Toledo, I don't see her very often. Here is a snapshot of her and her beau on Christmas day at my sister's house. They both go to school in Toledo and she is too far away for my liking. My nephew takes good care of her though, he is mid-way between us, near Columbus.

One of my credit card companies called today. I canceled a "rewards" program. I guess last year I agreed to a free year of a rewards program. I did not cash in my rewards. I am not exactly sure why I would have signed up for it. I don't believe in that type of business. The cost was $25.00 for one year. I had accumulated exactly $25.00 worth of points towards a Starbucks or iTunes gift card. Hmmm. I pay the credit card company $25, they turn around and give me a $25 gift card. I thought that was silly, so I called to cancel.

They didn't want me to cancel. They offered me a $50 Sears card. I have to admit, I did pause. Then I said "Nope." They canceled my rewards and removed the $25 fee from my bill. Today was the "survey" call. They wanted to know how pleased I was with the credit card service. I gave them excellent reviews. It isn't the card or the company. It's the rewards program that I have a problem with. I don't like that way of business. I shouldn't have to "pay" to be rewarded, should I?

On second thought, if you bought everything with this credit card I can see where you would rack up a huge amount of rewards points. Then just cash them in on stuff. It would have to be enough purchasing though, to compensate your lost $25. I am still not certain that using a credit card for all of your purchases is a good idea for the average American. I think the credit card company is going by the old stand by that if a buyer uses a credit card, they often purchase more than they originally intended.

My niece has a cousin that purchases all her Toys "R" Us gift cards at a certain grocery store. You get gas dollars for the gift cards. She then uses the gift cards to purchase her boys their toys and she gets a lot of free gas. I suppose that makes sense. You can only use a certain gas station, though. She happens to live very close to one. I don't. I also imagine that she just doesn't walk into this grocery store and buy the gift card. I am sure she does her grocery shopping there, too. This is what the grocery store is aiming for. Anything to get them in the door.

Another problem I have is the lottery. I just don't like the idea of it. It isn't because of a religious belief, although I think I can see where that could be considered an immoral way of life. It is a form of gambling. It is just that "get rich quick" way of thinking. Everybody wants more money, even me. Far be it from me to turn down a pay raise. But the lottery just seems evil to me.

Rolling hills of Ohio

Taken a few months back while on my way to Harrison county, Ohio.

It doesn't look this way today. We have lots of gray and white. I have heard that the temps will be warmer than normal. So we can add sloppy to the mix. I think I'll stay indoors as much as possible. It might be a good week-end to clean up. Put decorations away properly. Clean pet hair off of the carpet and furniture.

Not a lot of fun, but this is January.

My daughter is having an enormous amount of problems with her new X-box. I imagine that I will research on-line to see if others are experiencing the same issues. She has called technical support many times and she gets the "we are experiencing problems" recording. This is with the x-box "live" portion of the product. She is becoming so frustrated with the game, I am considering sending it back for a full refund.

Leftovers

Pork, kraut, potatoes and bread

One would think that kraut was German, but my research tells me it originated in China and the Germans preserved it with salt instead of rice wine. I can relate to the potato originating in Peru(by). The pumpernickel bread is German. Pork - China again. Margarine - French?

I did not eat all that is shown. My eyes were bigger than my tummy after skipping lunch today. Give me the above meal and my crossword puzzle and you won't see me for an hour. Ice cold ginger ale to top it off. I left it on the back porch and I had ginger slush. It melted quickly once brought inside, though.

The true point to this post is one of my presents. A potato ricer. A while back I was dismayed at my lumpy mashed potatoes. I researched and decided to try russet potatoes and I asked for a potato ricer for Christmas and got one. Between the two of those my mashed potatoes have been picture perfect. The second time I made mashed potatoes, I didn't even have to bother with the mixer. Another plus for Miss "Don't Like the Kitchen".

A blue bullet

One of my living room lamps. Photo taken below the lamp looking up at the ceiling.

Curled up

Mr. Tibbs has the right idea today. It was cold. After some very calm days for December we were blasted with a cold, biting wind today. It was supposed to bring in a lot of snow, but it missed us. As per usual.

New Years was wonderful. Family fun and laughs. Way too much food. We watched Transformers. It was much funnier than I expected. Then we watched the ball drop and the sisters talked about going to New York City one New Years to see the event. I'm thinking to myself "If it were warm enough, I'd go." What a sissy.

We had the traditional sauerkraut and pork at midnight. I always have shrimp cocktail. I can't believe I had enough so that people got sick of it and I had some left over. Rare!

Back to work tomorrow. Ho hum. January is my least favorite month of the year.

Dusty markers

My office marker and pen holder

Looks like things are a bit dusty at work. Not been using the hi-liters all that much, probably because most of what I read is on the computer. And the big black markers are dusty, too.

I was bit by some nasty little bug yesterday. I threw up for the first time in ages without the cause being a migraine headache. I had heartburn from not eating and when I tried to eat some toast, that resulted in a huge stomach ache. Most of my day was spent with a cold, wet wash cloth over my face and bravely trying some Advil. I did succumb to a migraine pill later in the day and by midnight I was feeling much better. My sister and I watched "Witches of Eastwick". She had not seen it before. She is a big Cher fan. (movies, not music). We laughed at Jack Nicholson.

I am slowly recovering today. Working an hour and taking a break for an hour. Every time I get up and move around (sweeping, scooping kitty litter) my stomach begins to gurgle and ache. I did eat some scrambled eggs earlier. I am going to try to make some rigatoni and sloppy jo's later. Requests by kids and sister. She will make them if I ask. She has volunteered. But, my kitchen needs cleaned up anyway.

Last week my daughter cleaned our refrigerator out. She said she feared for her food. It took her two long hours. I helped her put the food outside in a cooler and I left. Went to my brother's house. When I came home, I had one clean and sparkling refrigerator. I told her, "Hey. If it were up to me, I would just throw the refrigerator out and get a new one. It's the American way!"

I have a family get together planned for New Year's Eve. No alcohol (my sister is trying very hard). We are getting together with my brother and his wife. They always remain sober because they are part of the fire department and EMT squad in a small village. They say you can count on one run every New Year's eve. We are going to play Left, Center, Right and Tripoley. Nickels only. No big gambling, here. I took Left, Center, Right to our gathering on Christmas day and it was a huge hit. My nieces and nephews loved it. I had the most fun when we let my grand nephew roll the dice. What a ham!

Okay. My rest time is up. To the kitchen.

Boxed Titten

I went through my December photos on this blog and told myself "No more cat photos!" My nephew sent me this one and I couldn't resist. It is one of their Christmas gifts opened on Christmas eve. We got a huge laugh when my daughter opened it. It had a yellow caution tape on it and it "popped" open and startled my daughter.

Titten started vomiting foam and acting lethargic Christmas day. It continued yesterday. When my daughter told me she was vomiting again this morning, I thought to myself 'Time to call the vet.' I went to get the little thing and picked her up. She had sleepy eyes. I gave her a wadded up piece of foil to play with and she began playing. My daughter said she ate 'like a hog' this morning. That is normal for her. And, just now she attacked her brother (playfully). We call them brother and sister because they came together, but he is definitely a couple of months older than she is - so they probably are not from the same litter.

We are off today on an excursion today. I am meeting a friend at an Indian restaurant. I get to eat here about once a year and this is a treat. I talked my daughter into going. I want to make sure that the little kitten is healthy before we leave, though. I will cancel to take her to the vet's office. Whoops, never mind. The two newest kittens just bounded into my room knocking my trash can over. I chided Mr. Tibbs to be gentle with her. She is still in recovery. She is playful.

The garbage men have just picked my tree up off the curb. No lingering holiday for me this year. Hah!

Temptation

Somehow I managed to resist this dessert yesterday. There was a huge cheesecake sitting next to it, also. That I also missed out on. I was not in the least bit hungry. We ate dinner at about 4 p.m. and I didn't touch another thing after that except for a few salted peanuts. And plenty of ice water.

There were about 25 of us at my sister's house. My brother brought his favorite gift (a remote controlled fart machine - NO lie!) and we were merciless. We taped it to the bottom of the most sat in chair and as various victims came and went we tortured them with the device. What a blast!

A bunch of us played Left, Center Right (with nickels) after dinner. Almost everybody won the Center bowl of coins on each play. It was a nice, fair night. A few members of the family could not make it (my daughter spent the day with her beau's family) but we had a bunch, anyway. My niece made eggnog jello shots. I did not touch them. I heard they were a bit rubbery.

Sugarplums

While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.

Glad it's over?

Santa and Frosty atop the organ

I didn't notice when I took the picture, that the little wooden snowman was laying there. It looks like he is dead. He is just relaxing.

Is anyone else glad that Christmas is over? Well, we open our gifts on Christmas eve and everybody is whipped. Kids are playing Xbox 360. The food is put away, the dishes are either clean or in the dish washer. Candles have been blown out. Beds are made. My sister, nephew and niece were able to make it here for the holiday.

We all go tomorrow to my eldest sister's house for Christmas dinner and another gift exchange. That isn't as hectic as tonight is. We didn't go overboard in gift buying this year and we were done opening by 9 p.m. There were some duplicates, but I keep all my receipts so I will be the one exchanging them.

We had BBQ ham, creamed chicken sandwiches, appetizer meatballs, nacho dip, olives, salted mixed nuts, pickles, cheese, chocolate, peanut butter and chocolate and more chocolate.

Wow, I am beat.

A Christmas from long, long ago

1970

I was ten years old. It was the year of the Kent State shooting. I was in the fifth grade. I had one of my favorite teachers, Mrs. Slates. She went to Hawaii every year and we had a luau theme party. She gave us stars for reciting things like "My Country 'Tis of Thee". She introduced me to Don Ho's "Tiny Bubbles" and "Pearly Shells". She made me want to be a better person.

Teachers like Mrs. Slates change lives.

Marmalade

We have a huge pet bed we purchased for our huge dog, Sable. She doesn't use it. The cats love it. Here is Titten (I like to call her Marmalade) stretched out. I placed the bed in front of the heater and it is a big hit.

I usually have my alarm set for 6:15 a.m. I try not to hit the snooze, but you know how it is. The other night I said "Enough" and moved the minutes to :55. I was going to start getting up at 5 minutes BEFORE six a.m. and get a head start on things. Guess who forgot to change the hour?

I snapped the alarm off and got up feeling very refreshed. Huh, I thought. This won't be so bad. I come out of my bedroom to see my daughter already in the bathroom getting ready for school. What? She decided to get up early, too? "Do you know what time it is? It's almost seven o'clock!" I realized what I had done. Ah, well. At least I am going to remember to change it before I go to bed tonight. Right? Right.

The candle is burning

My candle. Both ends.

Me = chicken. My head is off and I am running, running, running.

I drove to Columbus yesterday to go with my nephew to his cardiologist meeting. He explained the procedure to us. Words are floating through my head, such as Cardiopulmonary Bypass surgery, right atrium, short circuit, freezing, homograft aortic valve replacement, bovine valve, cadaver valve, hybrid, scar tissue... and this Internet thing is wonderful. Just a few clicks and I am reading all about what that guy said.

It was funny. When we left I told my nephew, "Well, these aren't your parents' doctors." The doctor included in one of his sentences, "pissed off" and his assistant said in one of her sentences "that sucks" and called my nephew a "smart ass" in a joking manner. LOL!

My cards from this year

Above are the cards I sent out this year. Co-workers received the green ones. Family and friends (depending on their likes) received the kitten or Ralphie in the bunny costume. Is there anybody who has not seen "A Christmas Story" with Ralphie and the Red Ryder BB gun? My co-worker had not even heard of it. It boggles my mind that with all the hoopla about the leg lamp, fragilie, and "You'll shoot your eye out!" she has never heard of the movie.

Someone told me that Bob Barker (of television fame) is the owner of the company that sells supplies to most all of the jails in the states. I just looked it up. It is Bob Barker Company, but my research tells me that it is a businessman in North Carolina. Not "Bob come on down! Barker". We were talking about this because we can only send my sister money orders. Inmates have to purchase their own toothpaste, toothbrushes, toiletries etc... I suppose there are some that are provided, but you still need a candy bar every now and then.

If you get the chance, I recommend that you try your hand playing Left, Center Right. Fun stuff.

I am off to Columbus tomorrow to meet with my nephew and his team of doctors for a Q. and A. session. I will visit a mall in the morning and my nephew and I will visit one in the afternoon. This snow storm had better be history by then!

Buttons and more

When I tour the trees on display at a museum in a town near to me, I always try and stop in to give respect to the Missus. While her husband was busy in the knife making and train carving area of business, she was an artist herself. You can read about her here.

I have a "free" day today. One where I am not obligated to be anywhere. Today is promised to no one. I can hopefully get my decorations up. My spirit has been low the last week or so. I do not have any decorations put up, save for two bright snowflake lights on our living room wall. I moved the organ to make more room and this corner is so dark. The holiday snowflake lights did the trick.

Now, I have to drink my coffee and gear up for today. So much to do. I am just not that "into" it this year. Family woes. So many are unhappy. So many are struggling. The entire economy is depressed. All co-workers and friends are feeling monetary woes this year. My sister will not be joining me for the holidays. She will be alone in a cold, dark cell. I know, I know. She brings it on herself. So everybody tells me over and over again. I know this. But, that old saying keeps going through my mind. "There but for the grace of God, go I."

We all have choices. We get up. We make the choice. I believe this with all my heart. However, I also believe that some of us live in a state of mind where we have tuned our inside voices out. Or, we no longer hear them. The little voice that is telling us to do the right thing or not do the wrong thing is no longer heard. For whatever reason we no longer listen, or we cannot listen. I believe that is where my sister is. I could be wrong.

We watched Deck the Halls last evening. Not great, not horrible. Matthew Broderick looks so different, I didn't even recognize him in some of the scenes until after he turned. When a scene changed and this guy walked out, I'd be like "Who is that?" Oh, that's Matthew. Or, maybe I am just not used to seeing him in a movie. The electricity and the light displays were a little over the top. I'll tell you one thing. Kristin Chenoweth needs to sing a lot more. That is one sweet voice.

There is no secret in the fact that I have had some difficulty with my co-worker. Most of you have heard me speak of how tedious she can be from time to time. She had a nervous breakdown and is out until the first of the year. Some folks say she will be out longer. She is addicted to pain meds although she will not admit that. She had enough drugs (oh, sorry - medication) in her on a daily basis to knock a horse out. Many people kept saying that this was going to happen.

I don't know enough about this type of medicine to know what to expect of recovery or withdrawal. Most folks are saying she is going to need rehabilitation. The only thing I know is that she had isolated her family. She did this before the medication.

In March of 2005 she did something to me so dastardly that I did not speak to her about anything but work-related topics for an entire year. I have no use for people like that. I may have had to share an office with her, but I sure as hell didn't have to acknowledge that she even existed outside of that office. I am the strong and silent type. She needs people and communication. You could say she went a little crazy. She would leave the office for hours at a time, roaming the halls looking for somebody anybody that would listen to her chat away. I was relieved. Somebody else was enduring her endless stories and diarrhea of the mouth.

She had created a life where she was in her own little world. If you didn't share her beliefs she shunned you. This is how she ended up so alone and with no support. She has bemoaned to me the fact that her daughter does not even call to see how she is doing.

Her pain began two years ago. Shortly after I stopped speaking to her. After about 12 months, I felt sorry enough for her to listen to her go on and on about her problems. She told anybody and everybody that would listen. She bragged about her pain meds. People began talking behind her back, calling her "whack-o". I saw her falling asleep at her desk. I saw how many times she left the office to pick up her meds, go to the chiropractor, go to the physical therapist, go home and sleep. She abused her work time because my managers (in our home office)never check up on us. Not on a regular basis, anyway.

I had a previous co-worker that abused the time at work, and when I mentioned it to the managers at our home office nothing happened. He was in fact, given a huge raise. I believe that I was marked as the "squealer". So, this time I figured "To hell with all of you. I am going to sit here and do my work and keep to myself." Nobody at the home office ever caught on. If they did, they never said anything to me. Nobody asked me how things were going. My co-worker was left unbridled for over two years.

Old sayings kept going through my head. "Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves". I am a wise person. Sometimes I forget and make mistakes, but for the most part I know what is coming down the pike. This will sound cold hearted, but maybe some people actually do get what they deserve. A lot of times in my life, I didn't get to see it firsthand. Just desserts, come-uppance, coup-de-grace. Whatever you want to call it. Although I know it is not healthy or proper to relish in somebody else's discomfort, I am a human being and I had about as much of her crap as any one person could take. I have sympathy for her ex-husband and can understand why he walked out.

Atypical

Before the wild hair change

We went to the family doctor and spoke with her about my daughter getting more moles excised. The doctor looked at them and agreed that they need to come out. She did agree with the dermatologist that perhaps we need to look into seeing a plastic surgeon for the job, now. Our dermatologist does not do anything fancy, she is trying to save lives.

Dysplastic nevus. Atypical. My daughter and I were wondering just how many more moles have to be removed. I read today that usually the patient has 100 or more on their body. Groan. Has hers just started? Nobody knows for sure. Another article stated that a person with dyplastic nevi has a higher risk of getting other kinds of cancer. There are certain chemicals still on the market today that can cause cancer and to stay away from them. No list was given.

Maybe there is no scientific evidence. But with the way we have been mislead before in areas were greed are concerned, it will not surprise me in the least if our products are killing us.

Weird and random

Peruby is distorted

Tabor tagged me for a Meme.

The Rules are as follows:

* Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

* Share 7 random and or weird things about yourself.

Well, here goes:

1. When I look at a digital clock, I have to add the numbers together. For example, if it is 4:21, in my head I say "7". If the end result is "7", I consider it a sign of good luck. I am almost out of this stage because I am not by nature a superstitious person. It is hell in the middle of the night.

2. I speak baby-talk to all my animals. They respond very well to it.


3. I am extremely inept at housecleaning.


4. I hate marshmallow, but will eat it if covered with enough chocolate. :)


5. I am a tough sell.


6. I stayed in a house overnight where the temperature dipped to 8 degrees Fahrenheit.


7. I will inadvertently burst into song. My daughter hates this.

I must think about whether or not I am going to tag anyone, myself.

My family had a holiday get together last evening. Sixteen of us showed and there are at least 14 more of the immediate family that could have shown up. We were loud. They put us into a back banquet room. We laughed. We drank (very little) and we ate.

Today we are cleaning the living room to make room for the tree. I also fixed up two batches of cookie dough for baking later. I like to refrigerate the dough for a bit before baking. It makes it easier to work with. Christmas music is playing throughout the house. Even my daughter is tapping her toes.

I will have visitors over the Christmas break. This makes me happy. Well, I think I will have my sister. She will find out on the 11th if she gets to come home for the holiday. I don't have to worry about her imbibing because she will be wearing one of these.

I did some shopping on-line this morning. I have made quite a bit of progress. This is surprising for me this early into the month. Yesterday, on the radio, I heard the announcer say "And if you are out and about doing some last minute shopping...." Last minute? It was the 8th of December for crying out loud. Some folks don't even start shopping by that date.

If my recent order is complete and arrives on time, then this pretty much wraps it up for me. This is also dangerous because I happen to be the kind of person who will keep on buying gifts even though I am "done." I just like to give gifts. If I see something I think somebody will like, I will pick it up. It is like a fever. Everyone else in the stores are buying, I want to join in. If I can stay out of the stores, I might be okay. This is going to be hard.

I do have to get my hair done. Color and cut. I might go to a new place that is not in the mall. This way, I won't be tempted to venture out to the other stores. Hmmm.

Toweling Mr. Tibbs

Mr. Tibbs in my towel drawer

Fresh out of the dryer, folded, soft and still warm. Mr. Tibbs decides this is his little piece of heaven. Last week, I had to take all the towels out and let Titten and Mr. Tibbs play in the drawer. Titten would crawl into it, and Mr. Tibbs would jump up on the drawer from the floor and push it closed, shutting Titten in. Titten didn't mind. She continued to play with the super ball that was left in there. These two are easily amused.

I've spent the last few evenings at my brother's house adding RAM to his PC and trying to get his Word Perfect working. It just quit. It displays the splash screen, and will run in Safe mode, but in Normal mode - nothing. I have un-installed and re-installed. I have tried adding the updates for Word Perfect from the Internet. The first update went without a hitch, but the other two wouldn't load. The PC only had 256MB RAM, and the downloads were moving slow, this is why I put in 1 Gig of RAM today. Word Perfect still won't work. It came in a Corel package with Quatro Pro. QP works like a charm.

I gave them a temporary fix for now (word pad), but I have some research to do on the Internet to try and figure out what the heck is going on.

Orange on pink

Titten in the tub

I don't care for my pink fixtures in my upstairs bathroom. Someday, I'll replace them. Since we shower downstairs, the tub has become a sort of play place for the new kittens. Give them a half dozen super balls and they are entertained for hours. Except at night. They make such a racket, we have to close the door (once we make sure they aren't in there).

We had a snow day today. I baked cookies, played Christmas music and cleaned up a bit. During my cleaning I found my 4 gig Sony micro vault. Yay!

Last but not least, I shoveled snow. Ugh.

Two cats on a bed

Mr. Tibbs and Titten with red ribbon

Tis the Season. Red shiny ribbons and receipts. Cats are curious and playful. Well, the newer kittens are. My older cats are grumpy, and very sedate.

Spinning

My life is kind of spinning right now. I can't believe when I log onto blogger, that it has been days since I posted. Life can be this way at times, and I guess it's my turn. Crazy, crazy days!