And now, jury duty!

 Ugh!  Third time I have been called for jury duty.  First time I was in my mid 30's I think.  Neither episode from before went all the way. Both were over before I had to serve.  The one was a big relief. The judge talked to us and said we didn't want to be serving on that case.  A man had abducted two young neighbor girls.  Yeah, I was really glad he took a plea bargain before that one went through. I probably would not have made it through the screening anyway.  

A friend informed me that we don't have to go if we are a certain age. I checked. I turn 65 end of this month and my jury duty is next month.  I can opt out.  Now, how do I get past the guilt?

My silly cat

 I adopted Moses in 2018.  A co-worker rescued him from a road where cars were passing over him.  His mouth was a bit skinned up but otherwise okay.  He is tailless.  Now that was a weird word to type.

The above photo is from about four days ago.  I heard this noise and I looked over at him.  He probably thought I was going to yell at him to get out of that box or something.  He gets yelled at a lot.  I didn't yell, grabbed my phone to take a shot.  I was being given the evil eye.

He likes it when I eat yogurt and give him some.  His favorite.  

Ordered the vanity for the downstairs bathroom.  It should arrive next month or so.  Ordered another shower door. Hopefully, it is the correct weight this time.  Kids are using a shower curtain for now.  The top is being custom made and will have laminate put on it. The laminate is in - we can pick it up tomorrow.  They picked it all out.  Been a bit of a hassle but what isn't?

Next is either garage doors or house/garage roof replacement.  Then my upstairs bathroom.  I have a window that I don't want to lose so, no shower. I am thinking of having a walk-in tub put in, though. And I think I'm going with purples/mauves for the color.  When I moved in (23 years ago!) the fixtures were pink.  Only the tub is pink, now.  

Then living room windows.  The old ones are painted shut.  I like to open windows and let fresh air in. The lady before me never opened windows, I guess.

Over the past year since retiring, I have picked up having houseplants again.  I had one that developed white, powdery mold on it. I quickly separated it. I cleaned it - but I lost it.  So far I've found it on one other plant, I keep it separated from the rest.  I make sure to open the curtains every day so they get plenty of light and do not overwater them.

I found this image on Facebook a while back. I thought it was cute.

Gonna try one more - Italian stromboli

 I have not had much luck with the Facebook recipes lately.  Most of each dinner went down the garbage disposal.  Oh well.  They looked good on Facebook.  The family "liked" them but they were not anything to crow about and nobody wanted left overs or to take any in their lunches.

So, I have the makings for one more from the Facebook series.  An Italian stromboli.  I am sure mine will not even come close to looking like the picture seen here and if I am brave, I'll post mine.   I figure I probably can't go wrong with pizza dough, pizza sauce, pepperoni and a ton of mozzarella cheese, right?

We'll see.

I finished the biography of Paul Simon by Robert Hilburn.  I skimmed a lot of the book.  Just details I was not really interested in.  Paul sounds like a difficult person to get along with.  He was probably a dedicated, hard worker and didn't care much for the lighter side of life or those who were quite carefree.  Sounds like he thought they were frivolous and a waste of time.

I am a fan of Carrie Fisher (or was, sorry).  Maybe with his serious side he was attracted to her witty, light side.  I've read her book "Postcards from the Edge" (and have seen the movie several times). I may have read "Wishful Drinking". I'll have to look at it and see if I remember.  Looks like she wrote a dozen or more, I'll have to look into her other books.

So, what's next on my reading list?  I have to say, I wonder what a psychologist would say about my reading genres?  Biographies, serial killers, weather/earth disasters, reading body language, psychology, how to manage people/get along with coworkers, (not any more, ha ha!).  I cannot get into the fiction that is popular today.  I will try to read the "best novel" of the month or something. I use Goodreads as my guide. More often than not, I give up and go back to my regulars. Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed with the raw reality and will go for a fiction story. Usually I pick one that I know and liked and read long ago. Such as Wilkie Collins "The Moonstone" or "The Woman in White". I also like Agatha Christie.  I also enjoy books that were made into movies/tv shows that I have already watched.  Currently I am watching the TV series "Dark Winds" based on the books by Tony Hillerman.  The book series is Leaphorn & Chee. I am on the first few pages of the first book.  I'm not doing too well with it. I am also ready to give up on the TV series.  I liked the first two season but am having trouble getting into season 3.

Sigh.  But I have to discipline myself. I still have a lot of work to do around the house and the weather is finally starting to get nice and I want to get flowers and plant them. Enjoying retirement but along with that comes the down side. I broke a tooth off last week (dentist is sending me to a specialist who will extract it and make an implant - it is a front/side tooth).  I am already missing molars in all four corners of my mouth. Another downside is the aches and pains. I try to take care about eating foods that cause inflammation.  Sometimes I get out of bed and just go "Ow, ow, ow, ow ow!" Long car rides are another issue. I say to myself "God, I hope my neighbors aren't watching me" as I hobble out of my car and my first four to five steps look like I am a staggering drunk until I can right myself and keep the pain away for the following steps. And of course I can't do the things I used to do around the yard/house.  But I am not wired to be driven. If I don't feel like doing anything or getting something finished that day - I am able to let it go. It was probably living a long life with migraine headaches that made me realize I don't have to have it done that day because as anybody who has migraines know - you can forget trying to get anything done with those things.  For years there was no medication and when I read about new medicine (mid 90's, I think) it was a life changer.

Now, I have to watch my daughter go through the years of misery I had.  She is currently working with her doctor to tweak her medication to find the right dosage for her headaches.  As I've mentioned before - mine quit with the full hysterectomy.  Gone, gone, gone.  Maybe one a year, now. Good riddance.

Facebook is now my cookbook

 It seems that more times than not, I get recipe ideas from Facebook.  I see a few posts from family and friends, and of course the usual cute cat videos and a sprinkle of stupid people doing stupid things (a lot of fireworks and falling down) and the never ending idiot drivers.  But for me - I can't pass up watching somebody put a delicious recipe together.  Chicken, garlic and butter. What's not to love?  Anything with pizza sauce and cheese and pepperoni. I was never one to watch cooking shows.  I don't have regular television.  I watch shows/movies on my computer.  I get a TV and I end up giving it away because I never turn it on after the first week. I stopped "surfing" when I dropped my cable service. I only have Internet now and the kids have Netflix.  I have Amazon Prime but I never watch anything on that but once in a blue moon.  I like documentaries and true crime stories.  

My Mom loved books. She had several cookbooks.  I think one of my sisters got them after she passed.  I have about a dozen that I've picked up.  A few are ones that were put together at the place I was working at the time. We would have a pot luck get together and everybody wanted recipes, so we would make a cookbook.  One "smart aleck" guy contributed his recipe of how to make ice cubes.  

I also find myself not following a recipe a lot. I don't always measure and I don't always follow the list of ingredients. If I do happen to make something and everybody really likes it or I really like it, I'll try to write down what it was I added or did differently so I can do it the same way the next time. It bothers me to no end to make something and it is not good. I don't like to waste food. I don't give my dogs "people food".  Maybe a bit of chicken or meat after I have rinsed off any gravy or spices. Cheese is used if I need to give them medicine in pill form. I've found pills on the floor later  - sneaky little devils. Like my daughter when she was young. I found children's Tylenol chewable tablets in the trash can sitting right on top of all the trash. I told her - you could have at least hid them in the trash so I wouldn't see them!

Currently reading a Johnny Cash biography and I found a cookbook that his son published that I looked through.  I thought that Cash just went from Vivian to June but come to find out he had several affairs. Well, that is what this book says - author Robert Hilburn.

I was reading John Grisham's book about people who have been wrongly convicted of a crime. My computer updated one night and the book closed and I never opened it back up. I will get back to it eventually.  Another biography by Hilburn is waiting - Paul Simon. 

I also started reading about the serial killer Keith Hunter Jesperson by Jack Olsen. I think I saw an advertisement of a tv show or movie about it so I looked the book up online - ebooks.  That is what I read:  ebooks. I got a little ill reading the book so I stopped for a while.

Freedom Rally in my town

 I knew the weather was rainy but I had to go.  My first protest rally.  I lost my voice several times yelling. I was at a point in the sidewalk where if the light was red, traffic stopped.  Some folks had their windows down. Most of them cheered us on and gave us the thumbs up sign and honked their horns.  But once in a while I would see a man sitting in the drivers seat (usually a big four-wheel drive truck) and I could tell by his face he was not happy to see us.  That's when I would do it.  I  hollered "Hi Ho! Trump must go!"  One guy in particular really took offense.  As soon as I started, my comrades around me joined in and he went ballistic shaking his fist at us and yelling something.  We could not hear him. Traffic moved on.

I only saw one person I knew. She and I talked a bit afterwards and it was nice to catch up.  Prior to the protest I made a couple of new friends with a couple of ladies there. We talked and listened to each other.  The signs on display were interesting to read.  One guy walked around with his homemade sign that read "Muck Fusk".   

I finished reading "The Penguin Lessons".  It was a quick and easy read.  I have a couple more biographies lined up and a couple of true stories about serial killers  (two of my favorite subjects).  

I am working on the last two kitchen cabinet drawers to paint and I need to put another coat on the back door. I can't do that one until it is warm enough to keep the door open.  It's getting there and Spring is  taking it's sweet time.  A lot of flooding in the surrounding area.  A lot of puddling and mud in my yard that makes it fun when the dogs come back inside. I have a stack of rags by the back door and they love it when they get wet and we rub them down.  They dance around and arch their backs and you can tell it feels so good.  Funny - I ordered a garden stool (to help me get back up when  I kneel down outside to work in the ground) and it came with this glove that has serious digging claws at the end of it. This is the right hand only (sucks to be left handed - I'm not but I do have 2 siblings who are).  I scratch the dog's backs with the glove. I make sure I don't press too hard.  They love it and when they have had enough they walk away.  I looked them up and you can get them on Amazon for about $6 (both gloves have claws). 

Visiting family on Tuesday.  One year from the eclipse (my great niece's birthday - she will be 2).  This one is our newest addition to the family.  My niece had her at 48 so she was a long time coming.  I am taking cheesecakes that I special ordered.  There is a lady in a nearby town that makes these cheesecakes to die for.  They area  bit pricey but heavy as a brick and so delicious. They should be illegal.

Could not wait

 Waiting for the movie to become available, I downloaded the book to read.  It's a story about a teacher in 1976 who went to Uruguay to teach and saved a dying penguin from an oil slick. 

I was a bit shocked when I read more about Gene Hackman and his wife's death. It was kind of a strange situation. Makes you consider what might happen if you or a loved one develops a form of dementia or Alzheimer's and what the circumstances could be.

Mysterious like a book or a movie. 

Sierra, not foxtrot

 Sigh. Working with technology, I memorized the Phonetic Alphabet  years ago. I would cringe if somebody used David or Nancy or elephant.  Although I have to admit, I have mistakenly used yellow for yankee and umbrella for uniform and quarter for quebec when I was in a hurry and just could not think of the damn corresponding word.

So. My health insurance changed in July. I get 90 day supplies. Come to find out I only get two refills at the Pharmacy then I have to get them sent via the US Postal Mail. I guess I didn't read the fine print. I've not had meds delivered in the mail (I'm not against it, I was just in our pharmacy store quite frequently, picking them up worked for me.). 

Of course I am completely out of medication when I discover this. I was just going about my business ordering my meds and the Pharmacy let me know they were ready. When I go in to pick them up, they then tell me - Can't give them to you through insurance but we can give your our Pharmacy discount. Due to the limit of 2 refills and then I have to go through the mail. At the time I turned this offer down.

So. I call my health insurance on Feb 21st to set it up. It took forever. Remember the Vitamin D2 was under Vit2 and she couldn't find it? (Feb 26th What Ever post).  Nightmare. I patiently wait. I am out of the medication but I know how this stuff works and I waited. Nothing. I have no idea how long it takes to send/get medication in the mail as I have not gone that route before.

Finally, I call them back. For some reason I get the automated answering rigamarole and nothing they offer is what I need to have. I would chose "refill" and they would come back with "You do not have any refills available" - finally I got a live person.  You know how it is.

We went back and forth and (since I am off my meds, I was a bit testy) she was apologizing all over the place. Come to find out my doctor would not grant the insurance company any refills because according to them I had refills waiting at my Pharmacy.  You can't make this stuff up! She said they tried three times with the doctor and they never responded.

I said "Tell me this. Were you just going to leave me out here with no meds? Never letting me know?" She said 'Oh, we emailed you ...'  and she rattled off three separate dates. I immediately checked my SPAM folder. Nothing.  I said "I have nothing from you."  She repeated the name of the health insurance.  I said "Nope."  

Then, I said "Let's go over the email address....."  Yep. That's where it went wrong. s and f sound alike over the telephone and my email had an S as in Sierra in it and they had it listed as F as in foxtrot.

Now, I have to call my doctor's office because they are still refusing refills. I have to tell my doctor to transfer my medications to the new health insurance. Even though this doctor has all my updated health information, copies of my insurance card etc... and should know all of this.

 Everything is taking four times longer than it used to. Why is everything such a hassle? Where did it all go sideways?  If it isn't matters such as this, it is security on top of security. I make a list (most days) and if I have to call or fill out any forms/paperwork online, there goes my entire day.

Wait, I just looked at the image again.  ALFA?  I thought it was Alpha. Well, bust my buttons! It is ALFA and looks like it always has been! 

Never on a Saturday

 Hah. So the winery we went to didn't take reservations on a Saturday anyway.  About 17 of my family showed up and we had a blast. I asked the bakery for lots and lots of icing.  This is what I got. That is a full sheet cake and it just happens to be the least amount of icing I have ever received on a cake from them.  

I almost said something when I picked it up, but for some reason I did not.  I was pumped for the get together they were astronomically busy and I knew there was not much I could do about it anyway. I did not want to say anything negative at that time because I was going to have a great time come hell or high water.  I guess I will just have to spell it out next time.  I had also ordered 7 cookie kits from them and I told myself I could always put the cookie kit icing on it.  Of course I am kidding.  

That cake was consumed like an out of control wild fire. I was cutting as fast as I could.  I was more than half a bottle of wine in and I was being quite generous with the piece sizes. I did manage to bring some back to my daughter and son-in-law (they had stayed home sick).  I got about two bites of left over cake this morning. 

When I take a cake like this, I always share with the staff.  I figure if they were nice enough to let me bring this in to their establishment (where they serve desserts) then I can at least give them all a piece. I also handed out pieces to family to take home to those who could not make it. I had it all under control until the waitress came out and said "Can the kitchen staff have some?"  Of course they can!  I shoved a couple of pieces in a container for my daughter and gave the rest of the cake to the kitchen.  What did I care?  I had more wine to drink!  

My favorite wines from this place were "Coal Miners Daughter, Blackberry and Han's Favorite Blend."  We just mixed them all together. A little from that bottle, a little from this one.

A Lost Art - RSVP

 I've mentioned before that I come from a large family. I am the youngest of eight. All my siblings are still living and tomorrow is our March/Spring get together. I usually plan these things.  I am good at it and everybody seems to look to me to see what is going on in the family, etc...

We have 11 birthdays in our family in March. It just seems weird to celebrate March birthdays but no other months. So I think I am going to start a Seasonal family get together. We get together in December for a family Christmas bash.  March will be for Spring, June for summer and September for the fall. That should space them out.

My son-in-law came down with a very bad sinus infection so the band he plays in had to cancel for tomorrow so we moved our get together to another winery.  The problem is getting people to R.S.V.P.  I like to give the restaurant a "heads up" as to how many of us rascals are going to show up.  

I tried to get answers the past couple of days but then I just threw up my hands and say 'Whoever shows up, shows up.'  If there is room to fit us all in the same area, great - if not ... we will all just sit where we can. And it is not just the younger generation.  I can't seem to get a solid yes or no from a few here and there. 

Before my SIL had to cancel his gigs (he had 3 this week-end) I planned to add three more bottles to my stash. That is all my home-made wine rack will hold. He was going to play at 2 wineries and one bar. But now I'll be visiting a different place. Which is okay because I only have one bottle from there in the above photo.  They sell a "Coal Miners Daughter" and I'll grab one of those for certain.  Recently on Facebook they advertised that they are selling a treat where they will mix vanilla bean ice cream with any wine in their inventory.  We've had a beautiful couple of "starting to feel like Spring" days but it looks like rain tomorrow. Maybe no patio, but I'll still give that ice cream treat a try.

One evening while listening to my Son-in-law's band at a winery a friend of my daughter's decided to pay our bill without telling me in advance. Well, I like to keep my wine stashed (I give them away, I'm not a big wine drinker) so I added 3 bottles of wine to my tab.  Not knowing he was picking it up. I did this up at the bar and he did not overhear this as he was sitting at our table.  Towards the end of the evening the waitress asked if there was anything else and I mentioned "My tab". She said "Oh, he got it." And she tilted her head toward my daughter's friend.  I said "Oh no! You are NOT paying for my wine!"  I laughed and fortunately had cash on me enough to cover the wine. I gave him the cash and we still laugh to this day when I could only imagine what he thought when he got the bill.  He comes often to the gigs and I told him he gave me a great story to tell at gatherings.  I always think to myself "What must he have thought when he got our bill?  'Why that leech...she added 3 bottles of wine'..."  LOL!  And I got him an Amazon gift card to cover our food bill.  He goes to Florida for the winter months, can't wait for him to return to the North so we can meet up with him again at the gigs.

I'll try to get some photos tomorrow at the bash.  A lot of times, I just enjoy the time and don't even think about taking pictures. I need to take more.  I am slowly getting older pictures from our family albums and scanning them into a digital format and sharing them on Facebook with our Family group. So many great memories.  A lot of times I'll ask various questions such as:  "Who drove that beat up station wagon in this picture?"  Sometimes I get an answer, other times crickets.  I asked recently on our group chat - if anybody recalled us having a pinball machine in our kitchen one winter by our back door.  Two people recalled but nobody remembered getting it and bringing it into the house. I know my Mom didn't do it (and my Dad had passed, I think).  It is fun for me to hear their answers. 

What is that funny saying the Royal Family started using?  "Recollections may vary."

Where will we go?

 When my daughter was young we made several trips to the Cleveland area.  The Art museum and our favorite the History museum.  The Cleveland zoo offered a section called The Rainforest.  (Doing research for this post, I realized they just closed it and are opening a Primate section).

At the time, I recall seeing a countdown clock (like the ones you would see for how many days, hours minutes left until the year 2000, etc...).  It was counting down how many acres or hectares of rainforest were disappearing.  I was astounded and it made me nervous.  I was ignorant of just how vast and huge the actual size of the rainforest was but it still gave me anxiety.

While perusing the news this morning I came across an article that just made me shake my head.  I'm too old to be surprised by this nonsense any longer. Here is a quotation:

"A new four-lane highway cutting through tens of thousands of acres of protected Amazon rainforest is being built for the COP30 climate summit ..."

One family has had their livelihood destroyed by this deforestation. He said "Where will we go?"  I'd like to know where humans will go after we have destroyed our earth.  How about it Musk? Build us a rainforest on the Moon or Mars? I forget. Which one are you going to colonize?  

Now, where is that satire magazine I so enjoy reading?

I was just talking (thinking) about him.

 You know how it is. You read something. A headline story/the death of a celebrity and say to yourself "Whoa...I was just talking to so and so about him."  Or "I was just thinking about them."

Gene Hackman.  On Feb 7th I downloaded a couple of his books to read. I didn't get around to reading them yet, but for some reason I had been reading (Oh, I recall - I was reading about it being his 95th birthday on January 30th) about him and saw that he wrote a couple of books. Westerns are not my favorite genre but I'll give them a go. Just because it's Gene.  If somebody like say - Al Pacino wrote a book, I probably wouldn't bother. I don't care much for AP.  (As an actor, I don't know him of course). 

I've caught a talk show or two with a celebrity on it and funny - it seems like the actors I don't care for, I end up liking them on the talk show and actors I did like ended up looking like a total ass.  So - there you go. I might like Al if I ever saw him in person.  

Please wait 5 minutes....

 Most of my employment history was working with computers. The last two years of my last job, security was getting so ridiculous I spent half of my day recovering, securing, double-locking my logins and the other half of the day assisting customers/end users recover their login/passwords. I got nothing else done. Of course I am exaggerating but I'm not that far off.

What. Ever.

 Don't you just get tired of dealing with it all?  It finally got above freezing and I made a car appointment. My battery had died about a month ago and I've been using my daughter's vehicle when I needed one. I was a little annoyed at my dealership because aren't their computers supposed to warn them of things like this - a battery going bad or a cell dying....something?  So I don't get stranded. I've had this car for 15 years and I don't recall ever having it give me a mechanical problem. 

I told them if my car started I would bring it in. It did (it didn't want to) and I sat there for two hours (I don't mind, I brought my puzzle book) while they kept it on some kind of machine to test the battery. She said it was under warranty and as soon as the machine gave them a code she would be able to get me a free replacement.  Unfortunately, the machine said my battery was good.

She said I could drive it home and if in a couple of days if it happened again, I could bring it back to them and they could try it on the machine again.  I looked at her and tried to establish if she was for real or not.  I said 'Just replace the damn thing.' I mean really. In two days I have a dentist appointment and I really didn't want to drive my daughter to school so I could get to my appointment and pick her up later. In case my car battery decided it wasn't "good".  Screw that. I wanted to ask her "And how exactly will I be bringing it in, if it doesn't start?'  She has no idea if I have Triple A or not (I do). I get three free tows a year (I have the regular Triple A) and I haven't needed it at all this year, yet. She did give me a 15% discount on my entire bill (oil change, rotate tires, replace rear tail light and the new battery) - so --- what. ever. Be done. Be gone.  Give me my car back and let me move on.

Oh, and Triple A?  You might be waiting 2 - 6 hours for them to get to you if you are lucky. 

On a side note - my neighbor worked for this dealership 26 years. A few years ago, he slipped and fell on the ice at work on a Thursday. He took Friday off to go to the doctor. They (the dealership) called him on Sunday and told him they decided to move on without him.  (This more or less happened to me except I did not fall and I had 29  years in. We have decided to move on without you. - What a crock! ). So since they got rid of him the service there has been sub par. Word has it the owner put his brother in charge of the dealership and the brother decided he wanted all his friends and family to work there and the regulars had to go.

And the matter of other things. Here is a good one. The other day my insurance decided that after two refills, I needed to get my prescriptions on line. I did not know this. I have a new insurance (since work tossed me away) and I am not eligible for Medicare, yet. Fun stuff, I can't tell you. Yes, I know the phrase is "I can tell you" but I really can't right now. But then again - I am going to go ahead and tell you. See?  This is driving me bonkers. I don't know if I am coming or going.

So, I am setting up my prescriptions with the lady on the telephone. It is taking so freaking long. I refill the first one, but when we got to the Vitamin D2 she said that one isn't on the list. She can't send me that one. She said there is Vitamin B(whatever number), Vitamin C, Vitamin E -  but no Vitamin D2.  I'm like 'Well, what in the hell do I do?'   She asked me if I was sure I was reading the prescription correctly because sometimes the doctor's writing is bad.  (Me, being sarcastic in my mind only - "You don't say?!")  I sighed and told her I was looking at a computer printout label on my prescription bottle from my pharmacy.  I told her my doctor had not written me a physical prescription in years  - they all do it electronically now. Then she said "Let me look at Vit D2".  I looked at my label. There it said Vit D2 generic for Vitamin D2.  She found it under Vit D2. How in the HELL am I supposed to know that Vit D2 is the generic code for Vitamin D2?  Evidently it isn't that way for Vitamin B(whatever number), Vitamin C or Vitamin E.  Who in their right mind is going to say "Vit D2" instead of Vitamin D2?  The entire process is set up to drive us all insane. And really - certainly she had to know it was listed under Vit or why else would she suggest it?  

So much of this type of annoying problems come up with all this asinine paperwork that needs to be completed for retirement, insurance, taxes - the list goes on.  How do you keep your sanity doing all this crap?

 Reading "The Faculty Lounge" by Jennifer Mathieu.  Most recommendations for fiction novels come from magazines I read such as 'This Week' or 'In Touch Weekly'.  A few I read because I watched the movie.  This one takes a teacher/administrator of a school and tells a little bit about them in each chapter.  It works for me because I worked in education (not in a school but in the environment). 

I also started "The Invisible Man" by Ralph Ellison.   I've heard of it but never read it.  It is slow going.  I can't seem to get into it.  Not to be confused with the movie.  Whew!  Watched that a couple of years back. 2020.  Elizabeth Moss - Psychological Thriller.  It was a good one.  IMDB rated it 7.1 out of 10.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1051906/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_8_nm_0_in_0_q_the%2520invisible%2520man

Movie I watched recently "Flight Risk" with Michelle Dockery (from Downton Abbey), Mark Wahlberg and Topher Grace.   Another thriller.  It was okay.  The majority of the movie takes place in a small airplane with the three of them. IMDB gave it only a 5.3 rating out of 10. 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10078772/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_8_nm_0_in_0_q_flight%2520risk

Movies I want to watch:

Death of a Unicorn

Novocain

On TV - currently my fave is "History's Greatest Mysteries" with Laurence Fishburne. It is in it's sixth season and last week was about "The Valentine's Day Massacre".  This week is "What is the Yeti?"  

A great site for all you want to know about your favorite or any TV shows:

https://epguides.com/

For a fun trip down memory lane - check out the first edition of the theme song to 'Gilligan's Island'.  It is not AT ALL like the one they ran on the regular TV show!  In the pilot, Mary Ann, Ginger and The Professor were played by different characters than what the regular show aired.  The Professor was a High School Teacher, and Ginger/Mary Ann were secretaries.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpimVRP3EW4  (for the song - skip to 25 seconds in to miss the intro)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IkZ2neSamw   (for more detail on the pilot episode)

And in between all of my reading and watching, I am still painting my kitchen cabinets and drawers. I don't plan to stop there. I want to change the walls. 

Thank you for your service

 I know it isn't Veteran's day or Memorial day. Three of my family members have served in the Armed forces. The older ones had it pretty rough when they returned from Viet Nam in the 60's. They were treated poorly. It is encouraging to now see them wear a hat when we go out and are proud to be a Veteran. They get a lot of compliments and attention - as they should. 

It was a very real experience when the Wall Memorial came to my town and we went to visit. I remember assisting a couple of people with finding their loved one(s).  It has been a few years but it is something like you go to the information booth and give them the name of the person you are looking for. They give you a panel number that pertains to the section of the wall. Then you go down the side of the panel to find the line number and find the name. My brother-in-law had about four friends he lost. They were so young.

One of the amazing things is they have a person from the military guard the wall. That person stands there without moving for hours. I can't recall how long before they get relieved but it was pretty impressive. I remember they hold a gun but I can't remember if the gun gets to rest on the ground or on their shoulder. I could not find any information on this aspect of the tour.

I did see the "changing of the guards" in 1970 when my family visited DC. Such a remarkable ceremony.

Painting

 I started painting all my cabinet doors and drawers in the kitchen. I had purchased the above paint to freshen up my front door and realized it would work on my kitchen cabinets/cupboards. I only purchased a quart at the time because I was only thinking of the door.  I bought two more cans of the quart size because I like handling the smaller can. My cabinets/cupboards had begun to show little chips and I realized (horror of horrors) that at one previous time, the owner of the house had painted their kitchen turquoise blue. All those little nicks (and some surface cracking) are getting covered up nicely with this paint. It's a slow process but as they say - "I've got nowhere to go and all day to get there."   

I've kept in touch with some friends I worked with back in the 80's and 90's and we met for dinner last night. All but me live in the same vicinity. I live about 40 minutes away. We've been meeting for so long we know pretty much everything about each other. The past two years another from the workplace has been joining us so she gets to tell all her stories. She was busy raising her family before. The birthday girl chooses the restaurant. She chose the same Asian place as last year. Our next birthday get together is in April That birthday girl usually chooses Italian.

The group skips March (nobody born that month).  I'm so glad, though. My family has 11 March birthdays. Two of them are extended family members. We are meeting at a winery this year in the middle of the month. For some reason we get together this month to celebrate (but not any of the other months).  LOL - whatever.

My brother and sisters have all stopped smoking. The three (out of 8) who did smoke. The one brother didn't even start to smoke until he was 50.  I see less of the vaping than I used to. Or I should say "smell less" because that is the part that gets me. The smells.  Even though my migraines have all but dissipated, I still get annoyed by strong odors.

I meet up with another group of former co-workers once a month. They are ladies I worked with at the Educational office. There were about 10 of us but after Covid, we only have a regular 6 - 8 that show up. All but one is retired and she works only part time. A new one came last month and it was SO nice to catch up with her. I send out the invites and while dining, we choose the next restaurant and date.  We used to drive a lot farther than we do these days. With good weather, we may venture out more as we tire of the places close to home.

I make certain to keep up with the get togethers as my family has a tendency to shut ourselves off from the world and gather only with family. We have a large family so that keeps us hopping. Through therapy and reading I realize that it is very important to do this - for mental health. Large families who get together often are probably fine for getting their socialization. Especially as members marry or change partners (bringing in fresh people to get to know) and have children. And sprinkle in a friend or two here and there.

I only read two books in January. Getting a slow start this year. I think this was due to me watching a marathon of "Call the Midwife".  I've caught up to the current season so I'll probably read more. I discovered that the actor Gene Hackman wrote a couple of novels. I am going to give them a go. And puzzles (not jigsaw). Crosswords, kryptograms...etc.. I get the variety puzzle books and I'll go through and do all my favorites first. Alphabet Plus, Codeword, Syl" La-cros'tic, Crostics, and Flower Power.

The Amazing Horse

 I read a book a couple of months ago (surprise, surprise) titled "The Horse: A Galloping History" by Timothy C. Winegard. It made me realize how humans would not have evolved as much as we have without this wonderful creature. In war, the advantage goes to the side with the newest weapons. When certain armies began using horses their advantage was substantial to win a war. 

I average about 4 books a month. I like to read autobiographies and biographies and true-life stories. One is "Lost on a Mountain in Maine" by Donn Fendler. When he was 12 he got lost while hiking with his family in July 1939. He was lost for 9 days.

And yet, another one. "The Ride of Her Life" by Elizabeth Yetts. Tells the story of a 64 year old woman who rode a horse across America in the 50's. Yetts also wrote "The Eighty-Dollar Champion" about a horse named Snowman who was rescued from a trip to the slaughterhouse and became a champion jumper in the late 50's.

I guess I like to read about rescues. True that. I do like books, movies/tv shows about the cave rescue in 2018 in Thailand. And a big subject I've done a lot of reading on wildfires, also. The firefighters who train for that kind of work is phenomenal. Not to mention the risk they take and their bravery. One that really hit me in the feels is the notorious Camp fire or Paradise fire in 2018.

Gosh, I could go on and on. Besides reading I have been doing a re-watch of "Call the Midwife" on TV. Another non-fiction story.  I relate a lot to the borough of Poplar in London and how the families lived in squalor. 

After I retired, I started out really well with getting things done. I've sort of stalled. I guess that is due to the winter season. I hope I pick back up in the Spring and do not procrastinate. I have about four major house projects I need to do. 

Keeping busy

 I'm looking at the above color/theme for my kitchen. Trying to stay busy and not feel guilty about not working. My last day was one year ago in mid-March. However I was paid until June 30th and that was my actual retirement date.

 I guess I'm too depressed to say anything about the state of the nation. I try not to read too much of the news because I get anxious. I already can't sleep well. 

This is the year I get to start Medicare. I am bombarded with paperwork. Again. Nobody said retirement was so much paperwork. Sheesh. Non stop.

I usually get into a baking mood around October. Since I was retired this year, I did a bit more than I normally do. My son-in-law and daughter gave me a stand mixer. I hated to tell them by the time I got it, I was kind of out of the phase.  Our favorite cookie this year (or mine, anyway) was white chocolate chip with craisins and white chocolate chip with maraschino cherries.  Sorry, no pictures.  No...wait. I did get pics of the white chocolate craisin ones:

Holiday Family dinner

 I plan our family holiday party/dinner each year. This year I made the children's saran wrap ball. If you have not heard of this before it is a game the kids play by unwrapping the saran wrap ball and getting the prizes they unwrap before it is the next person's turn. Here is a link to see how it can be played:

https://www.partygameideas.com/saran-wrap-games-rules-and-party-ideas/

We also do an adult version. My niece takes care of this one. I spent plenty for the kids I can only imagine what she spent on her ball. It is crazy fun! 

At the party I was telling some of the younger family about playing spoons. Have you ever played that one? We broke a kitchen table playing that game. Here is a link to that game:

https://www.wikihow.com/Play-Spoons-(Card-Game)

We didn't play it exactly like this article says. The loser got a letter (like one on one basketball) and we spelled out horse or pig etc...Actually, I'm not sure we even kept score. I think we just played it over and over.

 Well, I figured it would happen sooner or later. I have my bank account balance sent to me via email every morning. In the back of my mind, I was thinking - okay, yesterday we used my card to cancel our cable Internet (we went with fiber Internet). 

I look at the balance and say to myself...no. Something is not right. I log in and see there are three charges from that morning I did not make.  I immediately called my bank and had the card locked. (not frozen, locked).  When it's locked, you are able to unlock it yourself online and any refunds and automatic deductions can still go through.

The purchases had the last four digits of my bankcard attached to them. I had the cable company charge on my statement (I needed to pay the last few days of the old internet) and then the three charges all had two letters in front of them which just happened to be the first two letters of the cable company. I'm not sure they have anything to do with each other but I'm just investigating at this time.

The other three purchase - two were a Quilt store and one was a medical something or other. I do not care for quilts. I admire the people that make them but I would never purchase one. I am a down comforter sort of gal.

The bank employee said he could not do anything while the charges were still in a pending state but if they were still there today to come in and get a replacement card. I checked. The two quilt ones are still there but the medical one has dropped off.

The bank will remove the charges (I'm sure) but it is the hassle. How many online sites do I use my bank card?  Too many.  I have AV on my computer but say no to all the other security crap as it really slows the computer down.

Oh, and a month or so back my daughter and I both received information that our cards had been compromised. I recently retired so I went through a medical program to see what coverage I would obtain between my retirement date and when I turn 65 and go on Medicare. My daughter had also filled out information for health care with the same establishment, I guess. They sent both of us a letter and information. I will take all of that in to the bank with me this morning.

Oops...my cat is letting me know that it is feeding time. On the hour. They don't like time change but have adjusted by now. 

 $240,000 dollars.  At this time I cannot recall how I ended up looking at this vintage butterfly brooch. I was following a thread and then stumbled on this site and (not much of a jewelry wearer but I do like to look) began perusing.

Oh, I know. I was browsing through an Antique magazine of my sister's and saw the website 1stdibs. It had a United States location to choose from.

Sigh. I've made myself lists and am trying to keep myself busy and focused now that I am retired. One thing I always hated was baking. Well, not now. I am baking up a storm. I quickly burned (ha, no pun intended!) through all my flour and sugar (even though I did not bake often, I would stock up at Christmas time just in case the spirit moved me). Pumpkin bread, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin bars (that came out more like cake), pumpkin-butterscotch pie, cranberry nut bread (my all-time favorite), snickerdoodles, ginger molasses cookies (came out horrible) and last but certainly not least, a new one I found.  White chocolate cookies with craisins.  

Yeah. And in the middle of all that I had a doctor's six month regular check up. My new hobby betrayed me. I did notice the pants fitting a bit snug. Drat! I'd freeze them but all three of my freezers are full. When I make food, I still cook for an army. I guess that comes from living in a large family. So I freeze the leftovers thinking that I will defrost them and eat them someday.  Sometimes I do and sometimes they get pitched because they were frozen for over a year. I did finally go through my upstairs freezer and toss old food to make room for my cranberry bread. 

Oh, here is an image of my kitchen fan. It was dirty so I decided to remove the blades and clean them. Then I decided while I had them down, to re-paint them. When I went to put the last blade back on the fan, I realized I was missing a nut for the last screw. I wondered if the blade would be okay with two screws instead of three and I glanced up at the fan.  Oh...

It's a Pow Wow

 Last month I spent a week in Akron house/pet sitting for my niece.  Above are the critters I watched sans baby of course. My sister's family went to Belize.  They took the baby with them.  I wanted her to stay with me but (sigh) I'm sure this was all for the best. (Don't tell my daughter because she thinks I pine for a grand child and she would proceed to tell me why she decided not to have children. I just shrug and say - saves me money.) 

The white cat  is 16 years old and is diabetic. He needed two shots a day.  I got the job done but I hated having to poke/pinch him. He would yowl at me (sometimes). Then I would rub the spot and he would start to purr which made me feel even worse. So forgiving.

Right before I went to Akron my beloved Chong passed away. 15 years old. I brought Cheech and his brother Chong into my home in  August of 2009.  Cheech is still with me.  He is a bit needier than he used to be or it could be that Chong did not let him come to me very much.

I still have old Milton (a rescue we've had 18 months) my daughter brought to me. And my obnoxious cat who thinks he is a dog - Moses. Oh, and the bearded dragon - Bolt is still hanging in there.  Poor Milton had his first (and so far only) seizure one morning during my pet/house sitting job and my daughter had to deal with it. She was traumatized to say the least. I think I worried more about her than the dog. It is possible that he choked on his food that triggered the episode. I drove back home for the day to watch over him while she went on to work.  He was fine, and is fine.  His bouncy goofy self! (Typing that made me smile).

I am adjusting to my "forced" retirement.  I am doing all positive things I should be doing when you feel that you have been treated unjustly.  Getting on with my life, being positive and living well. Okay, okay - now and again I still grit my teeth when I think about work and wish fire and brimstone to rain down on them as they get scorched from the burning wind. Did I say I was over it?  LOL!

Put Out to Pasture

I have been "put out to pasture".  Not by my choice.  

Retirement starts

All the paperwork, phone calls, scheduling appointments, internet lookups, research, comparing insurance packages. Sigh.  Retirement starts out busy busy.  I am the youngest of 8 children.  

My siblings are all still living (thankful).  They have all retired.  Two were teachers in the education system.  I was in Technology in the education system so I was able to pay into that retirement program instead of Social Security. 

I started in the education industry when I was 35 so I had 15 years in private industry with 15 years of contributing to social security.  

In the state of Ohio (one of the few states) we lose 60%  (or thereabouts) of our social security check because we paid into the education retirement program. Why?  I have no idea. Do I have the energy to research this?  Not right now. My brain is fried from just filling out applications, paperwork, phone calls appointments, researching insurance...
 

Moses is not real happy

 The image is dated January 2019.  I wrapped him up in left over paper and was able to obtain a picture. he is perturbed, I can tell.

My Moses thinks he is a dog. I was telling some friends about him this evening. I came to the conclusion that he is a bully. He is just a big old bully to my dogs. He bosses them around and blocks them from walking. I yell at him and he moves, but what a little shit.

Do you ever look at a date and wish you could go back to then? And try to think about how you would handle things differently if you had to do over?

I've had a setback. I'm retiring a bit earlier than I intended. I was pushed out. Not a great feeling, I have to say. 

Eclipse is coming...

 Okay, so I just read an autobiography of one of the singers from Three Dog Night.  The song Eli's Coming... came to mind when I wrote the title to this post.  And so the big eclipse is coming April 8th. My home is just a sliver away from full totality but my niece is having her daughter's first birthday party that day and she decided to host the family eclipse party. My issue will be getting to her house because from past experiences (my sister sat in bumper to bumper traffic on an Interstate in KY in August 2017 and that wasn't even a total eclipse) the roads might be gridlocked. Both of us have purchased several glasses for safe viewing.

It took me a few minutes to remember the link to my blog and then I had to look up my password. Fortunately, I had it written down.  I don't write my passwords right out - I use a code. Like the first two numbers of childhood land line plus OS of the mainframe I worked on in 1988 and then a dot and then how old I was when I first moved to VA or the year I lived in TX.  Things like that.

Have recently read:

The Sixth Extinction by Elizabeth Kolbert

The Heat will Kill you First by Jeff Goodell

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote  (I can't believe I'd never read this one)

The Great Fire by Jim Murphy  (Chicago fire - where they blamed it on the cow)

An American Plague (Yellow Fever) by Jim Murphy

The Silver Star by Jeannette Walls

Killers of the Flower Moon by David Grann (and watched the movie, Netflix I believe?)

...and autobiographies of Madonna, Lillian Roth, Barbra Streisand, Elliot Page, David Cassidy and Chuck Negron (Three Dog Night).

Oh, and I can't forget "Leave the World Behind" by Rumaan Alam.  I had watched the Netflix showing with Julia Roberts and Ethan Hawke.  

Fiction to Me

 I've seen so many advertisements about the movie "House of Gucky" coming out, that I had to look into the book it was based on. I am currently reading it.  It may as well be fiction for all I know. That lifestyle is so far out of my world, it might even be science fiction. Or how about Fiscal Fiction? 

I was never one to wear "names".  I could care less. I guess it does bring it all together for me to read about their horrible fighting and greed. One of the hardest parts for me is keeping the names straight. The book does give you a little family tree to keep track of who was married to whom and what children they had, etc.

Still, I find myself seething at the loopholes the rich and famous use/have to evade what the law requires from them. I've heard folks say "I wish I had his money!"  No, you don't.  Unless you are a Narcissist with no empathy for others - you don't want that lifestyle.  Even worse, if you are a person with morals and empathy - having that volume of money and wealth fall into your lap creates in you a monster.

Now, I am not a total idiot. I like a little extra money every now and again to smooth things over when appliances break down or the car does. It keeps me real. But the lifestyle of this family is beyond my imagination.  And, I am not a socialist. There may be certain aspects of the philosophy I can lean towards but I'm not sure there is any overall answer for anybody.

I picture a caveman bringing home a Gucky pocketbook for his mate that he has found. I suppose they would burn it or try to eat it. Yucky Gucky.

Currently Reading

 Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriet Jacobs.  Slow going. Busy doing other things. Sometimes when I get in the mood to read, I'll read and read and read. Only about 2 books at a time but I just finish one and go right to the next one.

The same happened with the New York Times and The Washington Post. I read them for about a year and then - nothing. I stopped. Didn't get back to it.

This story is hard. It is about her life. Sometimes I have to close the computer screen and either walk away or go to another web site like Facebook or Reddit to try to erase the image(s) that have entered into my mind.

I'd like to say we have progressed and it doesn't happen anymore. But it does. Somewhere somebody or somebody(s) are enslaved and suffering. At the hands of their fellow man.

I am not sure why I am attracted to books like this. I do like non-fiction and I do like autobiographies so I guess they fall perfectly into that category.  I don't want to be somebody who does not care about what happened (and still happens) to others. A story such as this reminds me of how hard it was for some.

And how easy I have it. It makes me appreciate my life a bit more. To scoff at what was bothering me yesterday or last week. Small potatoes!

 I went to a school today to replace a piece of equipment. The wiring closet it on the 3rd floor. No elevator in this building. I had to haul the equipment up three flights of stairs. I was a sweaty mess even before we started. The tech guy was late so I could not access the closet as it was locked.

When we did enter we were hit by a wave of heat that just slayed me. Looks as though the A/C had quit working quite some time ago. The tech said he never goes in here. I guess nobody does. The custodian was right there and he found something and fixed it. 

It was a rough hour in that hot box. Heavy equipment, screwing it into a wiring rack, following cables, watching lights blink, blink, blink.

By the time we were finished the A/C was barely blowing any cold air.

This is the second school I've been to where they are not cooling their computer equipment properly. It is hard on the equipment to run at this temperature for a long period of time.

It was hard for me to run at that temperature for a short period of time. I was ready to get out of there!

On a side note, I watched a documentary about female scientists and what they had to put up with while working in a "mostly" men's field. As I waited for the tech to arrive, I asked the custodian if he had a key to that room. He said "Oh, that's only the server room."  I said "I know. That's what I do. I need to get into the server room."

I guess since I was female, he figured I had no business in there. Eh, he didn't have a key after all.

Meet Rudy

No, I did not get another critter. This one (a blue and gold macaw) belongs to a former co-worker. A few of us had dinner at her house last week. Macaws can live for 65 - 70 years. She said when they got Rudy (about 15 years ago) they believe he was 8 or 9. When they got him, she was working full time but her husband was retired so Rudy bonded more with him. Rudy was not comfortable enough with us to come very close to him. He has an entire sun room for his "cage".  Then he has a big cage in the sun room for his bedroom at night. He is a very spoiled bird.

For work today, I am going to an "Attention Center" (not detention any longer). I am replacing equipment. It is for students who misbehave. More security at this location, but I made sure they are well aware that I am coming and what I am doing there. I'm taking their Internet down. Yep. That's what I do. LOL!

 

Like a Ghost town.

 I had an Amazon return and I have a Kohl's only 2 miles away. It is so easy to return something, now. No more packaging the item. No more arranging for a pick up. I am horrible. I would just keep the damn thing. Well, this one I could not keep. It was from work, for work. A shelving unit - too small. I guess I was supposed to measure. I don't care. I have a bit of work equipment in my garage, but not enough where it is a nuisance. And it usually doesn't stay long. We are installing new firepower devices at the districts. And UPSs. UPSes. Whatever.  Heavy suckers, they are. 

Oh, the picture. I always get sidetracked. The mall was like a Ghost town. I never, ever, EVER liked shopping. Well, electronics and paper products,yet - but clothes, perfume, stuff like that - No thank you. I do sort of like purses and totes and some jewelry. Even though I never wear it.  If all the malls closed down it wouldn't bother me one bit.

Did you lose touch with some friends over the pandemic time period?  I did. I just don't feel like starting back up again. They seem a little miffed. Some curt responses in e-mail and on Facebook. Could be and probably is my imagination. I'll wish them a Happy Birthday and comment on a post once in a while. But getting together as often as we did - I just can't.

Shelly

 I did not name her. I did not obtain her. She came to my house when my daughter moved back in. She had adopted Shelly (a yellow bellied slider water turtle) from her beau's friend who was neglecting the poor thing. My daughter read up on the critter and took over her (his) care.

Now it's kind of my thing. This little bugger is ornery to say the least. While cleaning out her tank the other day, I found something under the filter of the air pump. It happened to be the end of the thermometer. I looked over at the cable dangling in the water with no end to it. Just some frayed wire. She had bitten clean through it. Sigh. I threw it away.

She is constantly knocking the filter over. She tries to get to the suction cups so she can eat them or chew them up. I check on her quite often to make sure all is as it should be.

Tonight I am sitting here reading blogs and can see her out of the corner of my eye. She does a quick flick of her front left foot and splashes water upwards. I clean her glass in her tank after I add water because it splashes all over. Well, it is covered with splashes again - from Shelly flicking her water up .  

I then noticed that the water was aimed straight up and into her heat lamp. The top of the tank is wire mesh and I have a heat lamp and a sun lamp both that shine down on her 14 hours a day or so. I know that the sun lamp is splash proof, but I'm not so sure about the heat lamp. I'll make sure the next ones I order for her are splash proof. The little imp.

I walked over and turned both lamps off. Who knows? Maybe this is her way of saying "Hey lady!  It's past my bedtime - turn the lamps off!"  Well, she isn't flicking the water any longer. Sometimes these creatures are a bit uncanny and make me rub my chin and go 'hmmmm.....'

What The Future Holds for Them

 A week or so ago I went to a birthday party for a one-year-old. I work from home now, and my house is Air conditioned. The A/C went out in my car. I've been meaning to have it serviced but things change when you are home all the time. It used to be when I made an appointment for my car, I would schedule for after work on one of the garage's late evenings. This way, I could stop after work and go to the appointment before I went home.  I HATE to leave the house after I come home. I'm one of those people who stop off and do little or big errands on the way home from work. But once I'm home, I'm home.

This Saturday, I step out of my house at 2:30 p.m. and back into my house at 6:30 p.m. For four hours I was in 93º F heat. When I am not used to it. The baby above is my nephew's child. My nephew works outside doing landscaping every work day and outside work and activities on the week-ends. And he has not one ounce of fat on his body. I am a different story. I won't go into detail about all the extra ounces of fat I have on my body, suffice to say - a good bit. 

My older sister (the child's grandmother) was there and she was overly warm also. My nephew put a fan on each of us, but it just blew hot air at us. We caught up and watched the wee one open his presents and enjoy his "smash" cake. I can honestly say (since I found out about this tradition of giving a baby a small cake all of their own to smash, grab, squish and eat on their first birthday) I've never witnessed a wee one eat ALL of their smash cake. Until that day.  I admit, a good bit fell down between his legs and the high chair so perhaps it wasn't all that bad. I kept saying "Please give him a drink of water or something." It fell on deaf ears.

My plan for that day (before I found out my A/C had quit in my car) was to go to this birthday party, go shopping for a bit and meet up with my daughter and her beau later as his band was playing at a pub in that vicinity.  This was an hour from home, so instead of driving all the way back home (after the party)  and then back into this area (for the band show),  I decided to kill time shopping around. It had been a while since I had been to the stores in that area. It did not happen that way. 

After this birthday party and getting in my hot car, I stopped at the crossroad. Turn left to go home or turn right to continue on until 11 p.m. I couldn't do it. I headed home. What made my mind up was not how hot and tired I was. I figured shopping in a cool air-conditioned store might bring my energy back. It was my legs. I have been fighting eczema on my legs for a long while now. And they get especially irritated when my legs get hot. I don't wear shorts due to the eczema. I was in agony. So, home it was and I skipped out on the band show. It didn't even occur to me that the band may have played outside that night. It was inside, but if I had decided to stay and met them and they played outside - ugh! I would have been miserable again.

My daughter is 30 years old. I remember her first birthday party very well. I was not aware of the tradition of the "smash" cake yet, so she did not get one. It was a small party with just a few family members. I had a yellow duck on her cake. I'll have to dig up that photo and take a picture of it and post it. Or, I could get my scanner out of the garage and set it up.

One strange incident (I thought) was a girl that came to the party sat at my table. I'd say she was twenty-something. Maybe in her early 30's. She was dressed like a lumberjack. No lie! She had boots on, blue jeans, a top and one of those red-checked lumberjack long-sleeved shirts on over her top. I said a couple of words to her, she acknowledged, but mostly she was quiet and did not say much. I did not see her perspire and she never complained about the heat. She did have her hair up in a half pony-tail/bun. 

Ah, I almost forgot. The title of this post. What DOES the future hold for little ones like this one-year old? What suffering will they go through because of our greed and acts of entitlement? Our shallow, inconsiderate exploitation of the world? So far my daughter has decided not to have children. We all know that can change in the blink of an eye. Then I won't only wonder, I will worry. About my grandchild and what the future holds for them.

Fear

 Fear. We've all experienced fear. To what degree differs. What do I fear most?  You hear this question asked often. For me, a Mother - it will always be something related to my child. When they were little I feared abduction, now that she is older - sickness and disease and accidents. As we all know, nothing compares with health. It matters not who you are, how much money you have, where you live or what you do - without your health - everything pales in the background.

I try to imagine the fear a person must feel being in Afghanistan if they don't wish to be there. I shudder to think of the people who are in danger there. And their families. I know this has happened in history all over the world, all through time. It doesn't make me feel any better. Worse, in fact. And I wonder, what determines how much fear a person is going to experience in life?  Or, what degree of fear? Is fear just fear?

I'm going to try to recall a time in my life when I had the most fear. I'm thinking driving/riding in a vehicle? A roller coaster?  One of those chair lifts that take you out over land and water? The one or two times I rode in one of those, I was young and not so fearful as I am now. Losing my daughter when she was six in a Sears? That lasted all but 10 minutes. Waiting to hear the news of how surgery went for a loved one? Wondering while racing to the hospital if my Mom was alright after a vehicle accident. She died. But I wasn't so fearful as I was hopeful. I usually think positive.

As for me, I've been lucky. Is that what you call it? It's possible that I have something yet to feel really fearful about. I know I have not thought of everything that has happened to make me feel fear. The one and only time (that I am aware of) I had an anxiety attack was when I was blocked in a room and somebody stood in the doorway. I felt threatened. I did not realize it was a panic attack until 3 days later when I researched the symptoms. Nothing happened - all ended well there. I never want to go through that again! I felt WAVES of what I imagine was adrenaline surging through my bloodstream?

Ha, ha! I just did some panic attack researching and one article described exactly how I felt during a time when I dropped acid.  How did that phrase ever come about.  "dropped" acid.?  Where or how did you "drop" it. Ah, well. The online dictionary says it is slang for taking an illicit drug. I was not having a panic attack when I took the acid. It was an "okay" experience. Nothing horrible happened and nothing fantastic either. Just my senses intensified and my sense of time was warped.

But, back to fear. I was not afraid to hear the news from my doctor when I was diagnosed with cancer. Is it because I kind of "knew it" in the back of my mind?  I had been having a very serious symptom for a couple of years that I had ignored. Well, you couldn't ignore this symptom, I guess I just put up with it and ignored the fact that I should have it looked into. I remember when the doctor told me, he never exactly said the words; so during the conversation he made the remark "I've never had anybody take the news they had cancer as calmly as you are."  My first split second thought was "Is that what you are telling me?"  Then, I said "It is, what it is."  I guess I did not comprehend or absorb the news right away.

So, for those people left in Afghanistan. I can't imagine. I guess what mystifies me is why them? Why children? I'm not a religious person so "God's will" does not come into it. I don't care what anybody else believes or thinks - I feel they need or practice whatever belief they need to - to get them through the day or life. One of the times I dislike a religion is when it causes harm to others. Such as war in the name of religion. Since time immemorial. I don't suppose things are going to change in that respect. It seems the harder we try to "civilize" the human population, the more savage it becomes. So, I'll relish the times when I hear/experience good stories/deeds that humans have performed. And let that sustain me.

Leaving

 I read that the US Troops plan to get as many people out as they can, even leaving behind their equipment. Supposedly, they are not to waste valuable airplane space on equipment. 

 Then they will blow it up after they leave so the Taliban won't get it.

How is that going to work?  Who is going to make sure they don't blow up  innocent people still at the airport?