Photo taken February 2007
Since I am not going anywhere these days for work, I pulled a photo from last year. All the trees are cold and bare in Ohio this time of year. Except for those pesky marcescence oak trees in my neighborhood. Their dry, brittle and brown leaves hang on all winter long. Annoying!
My spirits are low and my stress is high. Actually my spirits go up and down like a roller coaster. One day things are going smooth. This plan and that plan come together and it looks like all is going well for my March madness. Then, a phone call on Tuesday. Two weeks. I didn't even think to look to see when my daughter's 9 week school semester would end when we planned the surgery. Ugh. If I pull her she may lose all the credit since the beginning of January. What to do, what to do?
So, would you leave a 16 year old girl alone for a week by herself with all family over an hour away? Nope. Me, neither. Me and this school. We gotta work something out. So my stress soars again. Can they? Can she? Will they give her work to do while we are in Columbus? Will her absent days go over the horrific 18 that they allow students to miss before wiping them off the face of their school record for the entire year? Can I drive her home in the middle of the week, while my sister comes up to stay for two days to drive her back and forth to school for the rest of the week? Can she do a week's worth of school work in two days? Will they bend? Will my sister come up and stay with her? She is now the only money earner in her family. How can I ask her to do this for me?
One brother is watching my dog. He doesn't see very well. Three of my sisters will be with me in Columbus. One brother will be on a cruise. One brother barely speaks to the family. My sister was able to get a continuance to be with us during her son's surgery. She can't drive, but she can do some nursing. Washing clothes, cooking and taking care of household stuff. I'll be the main driver.
Pedal faster, Peruby. I'm dizzy. I have to get organized. I guess I have to tell the school that she needs to go to Columbus with me. I feel like a failure. I feel like I am abnormal in providing a home life and normal school life for my child. Why didn't I plan this better? Why couldn't I have suggested the surgery to be in the summer when she could come with me without missing school? The hospital said, "We recommend that he have this surgery sooner rather than later." I was thinking of him, not myself or my daughter (that sounds horrible).
I worry that the school may not understand why I have to take her with me to Columbus. I am sure they will ask "Can't she stay with anyone?" Okay, then I have to confess to them my trust issues. I won't leave my daughter with anyone but family for a week. I worry that they will think I am a freak who cannot provide adequate care for my daughter. Or, that I cannot make arrangements for her to stay with anybody while I go to Columbus. Why, oh why do I worry about this?
I feel like a failure. Why didn't I insist that she learn to drive a car when she turned 16? This way I could have a second car and she could drive herself to school. But, that wouldn't solve the issue of her having to stay by herself for a week. Why doesn't she have a friend pick her up for school? My daughter doesn't like asking her friend for favors. Sound familiar? Apple doesn't fall far.
When I mentioned to my sister if she could come up and stay with my daughter, she said "The girl is 16 years old! Can't she stay by herself?" Ouch. I feel like a failure. That maybe I have babied her too much. My sister has since said of course she will help me out by coming up and taking care of the cats and driving my daughter to school. Her first response stung and this is why I hate asking people for help. God, how I hope she never finds this blog. I don't mean to sound the way I am afraid it is sounding.
The school levy didn't pass last year. They don't run busses with-in 2 miles of the school. We live one mile from the school. My daughter has to walk 1 mile to get to the bus that picks her up at her home school and is going to take her to the vocational school which is 5 miles away. I know my daughter. She will say screw it and stay home (causing another absent day).
I drive my daughter everywhere because my mother did not drive and I never had rides. (I won't even begin to tell you why I couldn't ask my Dad). I always had to beg rides from sisters, brothers and friends and Mom's of friends. When you see one too many eyes roll at the thought of them having to drive you home or somewhere, you learn real quick not to ask anymore. I did not want my daughter to go through this begging that I went through. I make sure that I offer rides to all of my daughter's friends. I will never forget having to ask for rides when I was young. I look back and I realize that I just quit the activity rather than ask rides from anyone. I always felt like a burden.
So, there. I feel pretty much like a failure. I can't control this. I want to, but it is fast slipping away from me and I feel that it is controlling me.
Big breath. Okay. I know I am not a failure. This is just the jitters. I'll call the school tomorrow. If they allow her to try and do the work until the 14th while she is in Columbus, that will be great. If not, she will have to make up all the credits. So be it. See? I'm feeling better already. Her home schooling orientation is scheduled for the 19th. Her surgery is scheduled for the 26th. Oh, I didn't mention her surgery? I'm getting dizzy again.
One brother is watching my dog. He doesn't see very well. Three of my sisters will be with me in Columbus. One brother will be on a cruise. One brother barely speaks to the family. My sister was able to get a continuance to be with us during her son's surgery. She can't drive, but she can do some nursing. Washing clothes, cooking and taking care of household stuff. I'll be the main driver.
Pedal faster, Peruby. I'm dizzy. I have to get organized. I guess I have to tell the school that she needs to go to Columbus with me. I feel like a failure. I feel like I am abnormal in providing a home life and normal school life for my child. Why didn't I plan this better? Why couldn't I have suggested the surgery to be in the summer when she could come with me without missing school? The hospital said, "We recommend that he have this surgery sooner rather than later." I was thinking of him, not myself or my daughter (that sounds horrible).
I worry that the school may not understand why I have to take her with me to Columbus. I am sure they will ask "Can't she stay with anyone?" Okay, then I have to confess to them my trust issues. I won't leave my daughter with anyone but family for a week. I worry that they will think I am a freak who cannot provide adequate care for my daughter. Or, that I cannot make arrangements for her to stay with anybody while I go to Columbus. Why, oh why do I worry about this?
I feel like a failure. Why didn't I insist that she learn to drive a car when she turned 16? This way I could have a second car and she could drive herself to school. But, that wouldn't solve the issue of her having to stay by herself for a week. Why doesn't she have a friend pick her up for school? My daughter doesn't like asking her friend for favors. Sound familiar? Apple doesn't fall far.
When I mentioned to my sister if she could come up and stay with my daughter, she said "The girl is 16 years old! Can't she stay by herself?" Ouch. I feel like a failure. That maybe I have babied her too much. My sister has since said of course she will help me out by coming up and taking care of the cats and driving my daughter to school. Her first response stung and this is why I hate asking people for help. God, how I hope she never finds this blog. I don't mean to sound the way I am afraid it is sounding.
The school levy didn't pass last year. They don't run busses with-in 2 miles of the school. We live one mile from the school. My daughter has to walk 1 mile to get to the bus that picks her up at her home school and is going to take her to the vocational school which is 5 miles away. I know my daughter. She will say screw it and stay home (causing another absent day).
I drive my daughter everywhere because my mother did not drive and I never had rides. (I won't even begin to tell you why I couldn't ask my Dad). I always had to beg rides from sisters, brothers and friends and Mom's of friends. When you see one too many eyes roll at the thought of them having to drive you home or somewhere, you learn real quick not to ask anymore. I did not want my daughter to go through this begging that I went through. I make sure that I offer rides to all of my daughter's friends. I will never forget having to ask for rides when I was young. I look back and I realize that I just quit the activity rather than ask rides from anyone. I always felt like a burden.
So, there. I feel pretty much like a failure. I can't control this. I want to, but it is fast slipping away from me and I feel that it is controlling me.
Big breath. Okay. I know I am not a failure. This is just the jitters. I'll call the school tomorrow. If they allow her to try and do the work until the 14th while she is in Columbus, that will be great. If not, she will have to make up all the credits. So be it. See? I'm feeling better already. Her home schooling orientation is scheduled for the 19th. Her surgery is scheduled for the 26th. Oh, I didn't mention her surgery? I'm getting dizzy again.
1 comment:
Wow...that left me breathless. That's a lot of things to have to worry about. But in the end, you worked it out. I think.
In answer to your question,
my husband and I were robbed in '97while we were at work so we went to the courthouse, filled out applications, and now we are both licensed to carry handguns. We have to renew every 5 years, though and we are due this summer.
Post a Comment