A red ornament
It appears as if I am going to get the three things I did not want for Christmas. The list I posted a couple of days ago. Paper cuts, kitty vomit and drunks in the basement. Check, check and.... check.
I don't have the heart to continue what I was posting the night before, or the middle of the night. As I stated at the beginning of the post my head was fuzzy as cotton and I was just rambling.
I just have a hard time helping people who drive nicer cars than me, have nicer clothes, and nicer nails. I don't want to judge but I was raised to question things. This is why I have such a difficult time at work. I was never the type to just do the job and shut up.
I get a manager who wants me to do as they say and don't ask questions. I have a problem with that. I speak my mind. Sometimes. I get into hot water. I get written up for insubordination. I tell them to shove the job up their arse and I walk.
Then I had a child and I found that I had to curb my sarcasm a bit in order to provide a stable home life for us. I found out that the job ain't so bad after things smooth over. I found out that the sarcasm problem follows me to every damn job I go to. Huh. Imagine that.
I found out how to adjust my attitude so that my life became easier. I still have a bit of a problem now and again with the "insubordination" part, but I stand my ground.
Life is a bitch sometimes, but I like myself and I am too damn tired and too damn old to keep starting over. I figure anymore if I walk, who wins? Me or them? Hmmmm.
However, I usually walk when I lose respect for my boss. They lie. I hate that. They say they are going to help you and all they want to do is to help themselves. If you are not there to help them look good, then you are the enemy.
I find fault with the organization. I am not a Pollyanna who can pretend that my organization is the greatest thing since sliced bread and that it can do no wrong. Hell, we are a mess. It is hard to wait for sometimes, but usually they hang themselves. They trip themselves up in their own lies and false pretenses.
Sometimes I get tired of seeing customers laugh at my boss and my organization. Well, mostly they get frustrated and mad. It is hard not to get depressed about it. I just try to do the best I can. It can be exhausting trying to make up for what the upper management screws up. I had to learn to stop trying to fix things I didn't mess up. I still try sometimes, but I keep reminding myself to make life easy on myself and just do what I can do without killing myself.
Hmmm. I guess I am still tired and my head is still full of cotton. Look at the garbage I just wrote. Sheesh! I better get some rest before I spin another yarn.
Life is a bitch sometimes, but I like myself and I am too damn tired and too damn old to keep starting over. I figure anymore if I walk, who wins? Me or them? Hmmmm.
However, I usually walk when I lose respect for my boss. They lie. I hate that. They say they are going to help you and all they want to do is to help themselves. If you are not there to help them look good, then you are the enemy.
I find fault with the organization. I am not a Pollyanna who can pretend that my organization is the greatest thing since sliced bread and that it can do no wrong. Hell, we are a mess. It is hard to wait for sometimes, but usually they hang themselves. They trip themselves up in their own lies and false pretenses.
Sometimes I get tired of seeing customers laugh at my boss and my organization. Well, mostly they get frustrated and mad. It is hard not to get depressed about it. I just try to do the best I can. It can be exhausting trying to make up for what the upper management screws up. I had to learn to stop trying to fix things I didn't mess up. I still try sometimes, but I keep reminding myself to make life easy on myself and just do what I can do without killing myself.
Hmmm. I guess I am still tired and my head is still full of cotton. Look at the garbage I just wrote. Sheesh! I better get some rest before I spin another yarn.
3 comments:
Yup, that is how I lost my last job: insubordination. In my case, the older I get the more determined I am to not take crap from anybody. And I didn't, so they dumped me. I have never done that in the past. But it was fun this time around. And it will never happen again because I fixed them all: I retired early.
Maybe you should start your own busness. It is a little scary, but it avoids that insubordination part.
I have never really been "insubordinate" in the true sense of the word.
In one instance it was a matter of I became defiant with a manager and they threw the word in my face. They were using it as a power struggle, not the fact that I wasn't doing my job. I just dared to question her authority and she claimed I was insubordinate.
The other incident was a matter of not having my job description defined properly. I asked repeatedly for a list of exactly what was expected of me (instead of guessing all the time) and it never materialized. If I had known it was part of my job and I was capable of doing it, I would have done it.
As it stands now I am asked to perform work that I have not been properly trained for. It's a mess.
Yes, starting your own business is a scary endeavour.Sigh. I don't know if I have the energy.
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