Back to the screaming migraine monkey today. Two days in a row. Haven't had that in a while. I waited this one out too long before taking my medicine. I get six migraine pills a month. That is one prescription. Because of insurance I cannot refill more often than every thirty days. They have not been enough recently. My next doctor's appointment is in March and I am trying to hold off until then so I can talk to her about them and either get a new prescription or an alternative one. Oh, well.
I had a lot to do today and when I am getting a migraine I tend to do my errands or chores very quickly. This is because when I quit or slow down I can no longer ignore the migraine pain. I am also usually sick to my stomach.
Since the schools are closed today I get today off from work. I thought myself rather fortunate that no mom's called me to watch their children today. I thought too soon. I purposely made an appointment with my counselor today just for that reason.
My daughter's friend had been here since Friday at 5 p.m. and her mom called at eleven a.m. today, wanting me to watch the six year-old also. I stood my ground. I had her Mother "P" pick up her 14 year-old at noon and told her "no" to watching the six year old. Enough is enough. My counselor was so proud. She said that people like "P" seek out people like me to use. I am taking baby steps, but I am getting there.
A big No to my sister when she wants to borrow money, even though she makes ten grand more a year than I do; a big No to my half-uncle who wants to spend ten free days at my house each and every summer; a big No to people who want me to watch their kids. No, no, no! It is getting easier. I am trying, people, I am trying.
But, I have another sister who is just as bad as I am. If not worse. She cleans the apartment of an obese friend of her mother-in-law's. She also gets her groceries for her and runs other errands for her. Her mother-in-law keeps hinting that she should be cleaning her house. I am trying to help my sister be able to say "no." It is a sickness. I recognize that I have the sickness and am trying to do something about it. I want to change.
2 comments:
I guess it is a 'sickness.' Our secretary is living with a guy that treats her just awful. She cooks for him, takes cares of his dogs and used to clean for him. Then she got very ill so now she pays $95 every other week to someone else to clean his house! When they go out to dinner they go dutch! I can see it clear as day, but she admits she should do something about it, but doesn't.
Tabor, I knew I had this sickness for a while, now. I guess when someone gets fed up with it enough, they do something about it. I am trying. It is hard to break old habits. I came equipped with an extra supply of guilt in my life.
I have read many books on the subject, trying to self-fix. Therapy is expensive, my insurance only pays 50% for $100 sessions. I work in education (it wasn't much better when I was in the business world) and am supposed to have very good insurance.
There are social workers who base the rate on your pay, but alas mine is adequate and I have to pay nearly all of it, because (at the time) there were only two people in my family.
I am determined to throw this monkey off my back.
--Peruby
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