Omigod! I went to the drug store to pick up some cough medicine. I don't think I have to mention that the cough and cold aisle is the most popular place in the store these days. I was hacking pretty hard.
A lady mentioned something about cough medicine. I mumbled something between hacks.
Lady: My son had a car accident about a month ago and he woke up throwing up.
Me: Hack, hack.
Lady: Well, I talked him into going to the hospital and they began to treat him for the flu.
Me: Hackety, hack, hack. (I walked a step to the right looking at medicine)
Lady: Well, the nurse let him go to the bathroom by himself and we heard him hit the floor....
Me: (Coughing violently about this time. God, is it hot in here? I took another step to the right. The labels were starting to blur. People were stopping to look at me).
Lady: And, then the doctor was right....we thought he had a concussion...
Me: (moving yet another two steps to the right. What do I want? I didn't realize that I had mostly moved out of the cough medicine section. I was pretty much in a full blown coughing fit by now. Doubling over and everything.)
Lady: Blah, blah, blah...(incoherent to me because of the roaring coughing in my ears)
Me: (Why in the hell is she still talking!? Tears streaming down my face, I grab a box of something and tore down the aisle to the cash register.)
Me: (In my mind only)"Hey lady! How about a nice cup of 'Shut the Fuck UP!' "
How do I attract these people? Is it my smile? My face must read "Go on use me as your sounding board. I am a really, really stupid errr... I mean nice person."
I get in the car. What did I just buy? Tylenol P.M.? WTF? Did I mention that I hate cough medicine of any kind. I must have just wanted something to help me sleep.
I came home in such a foul mood, I about killed my cat with my daughter's wallet. It was the first thing I grabbed for. My pets are constantly under my feet. My daughter and I had to spend ten minutes looking for the wallet. She was laughing at me. That brought me back around and I was able to relax. Sheesh.
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