It will soon be Thanksgiving. As I mentioned before it has become more important for me to give back, now that I am able to do so.
What kind of families or what type of person asks for help? More important, what families in need don't ask for help? My Mother was a very proud woman. Since I was the youngest, the stories I have are second-hand. I did not witness them personally. By the time I came along my older brother and sister were taking care of the family.
My Mother received very harsh and rude treatment when she would request help or aid of any sort. Maybe she was too sensitive. She stopped requesting. It was fortunate that the state did not separate our family. There were a couple of incidents where they came pretty close, I guess.
Once when my older brother and sister were in high school, their school chose our family to help for Christmas. They bought a tree and brought it to our house on Christmas eve. My brother had already chopped the top of an evergreen down and had it set up before they got there. I could not imagine going through that kind of humility in school.
Another brother was eligible for free lunches when he was in grade school during the sixties. Can you believe the teacher wrote the names of all the students who got free lunches on the chalkboard? He was so embarrassed he decided he would rather go without lunch than sign up for the free lunches any more. This kind of insensitivity irritates the hell out of me.
I don't know how my Mom and brother and sister did it, but I never remember a Christmas (or birthday) without presents or good food. We were so blessed.
Anyway, I always wanted to help the families that were too timid, scared or proud to ask for help. And, I would want to do it anonymously. For example. If you are a member of a church and somebody stands up and begins crying that they are having a rough time, no money, no food for their children - and then a week later they receive an anonymous donation in the mail for $100 cash. "It's a miracle! God heard my prayer!" This is a true story told to me by a friend of a co-worker. What amazes me is the generosity of the person sending the money. It was quite obvious that this lady in need was having her hair done quite often at a beauty salon, she had fake fingernails and dressed to the nines. This is where I run into problems.
Back to giving. I just can't stand the idea of whiners getting all the free hand outs. The people who are not proud. Those who think they have it rough. The ones who buy lottery tickets and push their way to the front of the line for a free ham because they have no money left. The ones who know how to play the game. The sly and sneaky ones who abuse the system. It goes on and on.
So, this year I am gathering up my faith. Faith in the human spirit of giving. I am not going to let my jaded suspicions control my giving this year. I am going to hope for the best. Hope that the ones who really need help the most are going to get it. I don't want to be jaded.
2 comments:
Interesting insight you have into the needy vs. the NEEDY. I agree with you and have met both types. But, now I will look out for the quieter ones. I was poor growing up, but never so poor that people knew. Actually most of my friends were poor and we didn't know that people outside our small town were better off than us.
We more than made up for our lack of material things with rich love and laughter in our home.
I am trying to find a way to give to somebody who is too proud or too timid to ask for help without them knowing who helped them. I understand that people who need feel ashamed and I don't want to make them feel worse than they already do.
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