Give me a date, dammit!

 Le sigh.  No, not a romantic date.  I mentioned before that I plan the family get togethers (if not all of them, then most of them).  I am the youngest of 8.  My oldest sibling will be 84 in March.  With all 8 siblings plus children, grandchildren and even one great-grandchild we could easily produce 50 at one gathering if all showed up (which they never do, mercifully).

A week or so ago, I asked relatives in our Facebook Family Group for dates they could NOT make it in March for the family get together.  This is where the one brother jokingly said Feb 30th.  Nobody else said anything (siblings are all retired but one still works part time) so I threw out a Saturday - the 14th.  The same darn brother who jokingly said Feb 30th came back with "We will be in Tennessee March something through the 15th".  Now, why in the hell couldn't he tell me that when I first asked for dates they couldn't make it?  It is easier if people tell me dates they are unavailable so I don't suggest that. As it is, now I have to say "Never mind the 14th, how about the 21st?"  If they tell me the dates they are busy, I won't suggest them.  I am expecting another sibling to say "Can't make it that day, I have a wedding to attend (or something like that).  Sigh, sigh, sigh.  I usually try to accommodate them because those of us (who have no life) are fairly free all the time.  

And still - nobody answers me.  Wait, one did.  One asked "Afternoon or evening?"  Oh, cripes.  With so many people you know you can't get them all on the same page.  I know that is nearly impossible.  So, I please myself.  It really didn't matter to me, but the same sister said that evening worked better for her, so I said - "Sure, let's meet at 5 p.m."  

If there ends up being a conflicting date, I usually go with the one sibling who usually answers me and makes it easier for me.

I am fairly certain Brother 1942 won't be there. He doesn't like to go out in the evenings.  My Mom was pretty much the same way.  She had to be back before 4 p.m. and if we didn't feed her (while we were out and about) before 2 p.m. she wouldn't eat.  She didn't eat after 2 p.m.  I wish I had that issue.

My sister and I were talking about this last week and she said one time when she had a demanding husband and a new baby, she didn't get over in time to take our Mom to "town" she was late and my Mom snapped at her "It's TOO late, now!"   (my Mom did not drive and depended on us to take her places, as she was  pretty much a recluse and had no friends or other relatives in the area)  My sister said she felt like crap and went back home. 

The next day our Mom apologized to her but this was pretty much standard fare for three of the eight children.  The ones that did very little for our Mom she treated like gold when they came around.  The others of us who hung around and were available to take her places and stay with her - she was temperamental with.  My Mom (at times) could show conditional love.  If any of her children gave her money they were gold.  If you were unable or did not contribute, she was nasty to.  Even though we tried hard to make it up by driving her places and doing things for her around the house.  It's funny at the time you don't realize it (maybe subconsciously you do and you are confused) but all these years later you see it.   I don't want to talk trash about my Mom - not what this post was about.

And sometimes, when I am working on getting us together, the person who first suggests the date or the place ends up not coming.  What is up with THAT?!