As I grew older, became wiser (I hope) and read more, I came to understand a bit more about how the human mind works. About strength. I used to think that women who remained in this situation were weak until one day I thought "Maybe they are really, really strong!?"
I am so fortunate to have instilled inside my brain (as puny as it may be) the audacity to be independent and to stand up for my rights. Maybe not in everything all the time - but enough to matter.
My sister is a victim of verbal abuse. Fortunately, there is no physical (except one time many years ago). Verbal abuse is just as ugly and it tears away at your psyche on a daily basis until you don't know who you are any longer and you don't know up from down, night from day.
I believe it is a form of brain washing and victims are left so confused they no longer can make decisions for themselves. Especially when your genetic make-up was one where that was a weak area, anyway.
So, the above photo is lifted from the Internets, but it depicts pretty much how I feel when it comes to physical violence or verbal abuse in a relationship. I do not believe I know anyone (man or woman) who is the abuser (physical) in a relationship. I know they are out there, I am just glad I am not aware of it. I probably know plenty of verbal abusers and those who play mind games with their spouse. The subject seems to be taboo, whispered only with closest friends and trusted family members.
Don't even get me started on child or animal abuse. It will ruin my day for sure.
5 comments:
Abuse of any kind wears the man, woman, or child down. Verbal and psychological abuse is insidious and often escalates into physical abuse. It surprises me that with all the news about bullying in the schools and its devastating effects that people don't realize how being bullied (and abused) in your own home is no different.
Years ago I had a friend who was abused. She didn't come to work one night so I drove to her apt. and knocked for a long time. She was there but he was holding her in the bathroom and wouldn't let her go. One day we broke in so she could get her stuff out. Freedom I thought! She eventually went back. There's only so much a person can do to help, a very sad deal indeed.
It is so difficult to watch a friend or family member stay in such a situation. As for the abusers, don't get me started, i want them to get what they deserve.
With you all the way on this one. Abuse--whether physical, psychological, verbal--is so so wrong. And it leaves such a trail for all those victimized.
I tried to instill of each of my children that they are worth something--that no one has a right to demean, belittle, threaten or in any way abuse them. And I taught them that always always they could tell me anything. No secrets.
Empowerment may not protect someone from abuse, but it can help them reach out and get help.
Verbal abuse is worse I think because it saps everything out of a person till they don't know who they are anymore. Physical abuse, within limits, can be patched up; however, it can also maim and kill.
I left my first husband due to verbal abuse among other things. I got the hell out while I could and took our child with me. My second and current husband helped me raise her.
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