I want to be like Dear Abby

So, when I read my latest suspicious search report, I want to be like Dear Abby. Most end users are searching for unsavory subject matter, but once in a while you just get questions.

Such as "Where is the nearest Dick's Sporting Goods?"  This shows in my report because the word "dick" is included in the subject matter. If somebody searched for "Where is the nearest Target?" I won't see that request.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, you get the occasional question that makes me go "hmmmm". One that comes to mind is "Will make-up kill a turtle?"   I went "Yikes".

Hopefully that story had a happy ending.

But imagine if I were like Dear Abby. You can call me "Dr. Answering Suspicious Searches"  or Dr. ASS for short.

One question popped out at me the other day.  I can't help but pretend I am like Dear Abby and my mind just answers them as she would.

Dear Dr. ASS:  "Will having sex push back my period?"

Answer:  "Sure, probably by about nine months!"

(Same end user because it was the same IP address, but about twenty minutes later)

Dear Dr. ASS:  "Can I eat baked beans while I am pregnant?"

Answer:  "Sure, but I wouldn't recommend it."

Things like that. I have become desensitized to the other searches. I see so many. You can imagine a young teenagers' mind and curiosity and what shows up in the "suspicious" search query. Sigh. Just to give you an example, they probably do not know what bestiality is yet, but hey - they search for and I imagine hope to find graphic images. I am certainly hoping that the filter is holding strong and just because they try to search for the subject matter, does not mean they see or get any web pages that hold that horrific content.

The horrible thing is, to test the filter one kind of has to search for things like this themselves. Let me tell you it isn't as easy as you might think. For starters, being raised to be a "good girl" and going to Sunday School and mean looks from my Mom if I mentioned even the word "period" let alone anything stronger. You seriously got the look of death from her. Suffice it to say, I did not learn the facts of life from her.

It just is not that easy for me to type in "gir1 having s3x with a h0rse" into the search engine. I mean, My God! What if an image were to slip through?!  You just can't erase that kind of picture from your mind. And, GROSS!  I can only imagine because I have not (nor probably ever will) search for anything of that nature. This is all just information to let you know what I see in the searches. Yuck!

I have searched images and we have an issue with Bing images that will not force the "safe search" feature like Google does.  With the filter on, if an end users tries long and hard enough, pretty soon they will be rewarded with images that just floor my adult 54-year old mind.

If it makes you feel any better, I have set the filter up to block ALL Bing images that are on their explicit.bing.com server. That is "supposedly" where all the icky stuff resides. If you want to test this, go to bing.com, click on Images and type in any unsavory word or phrase that you can think of.  If your bing is like mine, the search setting defaults to Medium. Changing this setting to "Strict" cuts out the most obscene images out of the search. Maybe Bing got their act together, but for some reason, end users were able to override this setting and choose the setting "off".  This is disastrous. This is why we blocked bing images altogether.

Now, do the same in Google. Even before changing any settings the results are less nasty. At least mine were. The only setting that Google has now (they must have changed it) is to choose "Filter Explicit Results" and when you do that, depending on what subject matter you searched for you may get nothing. That is what happened to me. I typed the upper female body part in Google and got quite an eye full. When I changed the setting to "Filter Explicit Results" Google told me it could not find any images for my request. YAY!