Memories

Here are a couple of links to some past posts of my pet dogs (not pictured above):

http://welcomemyworld.blogspot.com/2006/09/rolling-of-buckeyes-day-one.html

http://welcomemyworld.blogspot.com/2005/04/shes-been-good-dog.html

Hope you enjoy.

Somebody stop the world.

What is this? What do you do with this? Huh? This "look" is the result of me playing with a cat instead of him. I was taking pictures of Teton (who was playing with the wrist strap to the camera) and I happened to look over my floor fan and see this. Good God Almighty! It is the look of "But, I thought you loved ME best!"

Anyways, my nightmare didn't end. It just moved into my house and follows me around. After my freakish day on Thursday the 15th, Friday was rather mundane and normal. Saturday brought me a ripe and juicy migraine with a side of exhaustion.

Sunday came. I ventured out to buy groceries and cat/dog food. I purchased some frozen food and ice cream. Came home and "BAM" no keys to get in the house. The spare key we keep hidden (LOL!) I had given to daughter's boyfriend so he could get into the house. Oh, my. I looked at my daughter's bedroom window. Is it unlocked? Yes, it was. It wasn't pretty folks and I hope (for their sake) the neighbors were not looking. I got in and I am still feeling the ramifications from THAT!. The dogs all thought it was quite hilarious. I gave them a what for.

Monday came. Work was okay. I stopped at the drug store on the way home. Two hours later I went to balance my checkbook and what? No wallet! I had left it at the drug store. I called them, yes they had it. I went back and picked it up. All money still there. I thanked the cashier and pointed to my head and made a motion that I was losing it.

Tuesday came. I took the dogs out for their early morning walk and when I returned there in the middle of the floor was one of my brand new SAS sandals. The back strap was chewed completely off. I had forgotten to put them in my bedroom overnight. They cost me serious $$ but they are so wonderfully comfortable. I wore my tennis shoes that day and will wear them today. Grrrr.

Wednesday dawns. I go downstairs to take a shower and flip my cell phone off with my clothes and it clatters to the hard tiled floor. It ain't comin' back folks. It is dead as a doornail. I am eligible to upgrade to a new phone. I guess something is telling me it is time to do it. NOW!

I know I mentioned having a couple of links to look back at. Some funny stories from the past. I did not have time to look them up on my blog, but will get to them soon.

Until tomorrow... I am locking myself in a padded room. Somebody stop the world, I want to get off! Ha, ha!

Go granny, go!

The men love her. She is a granny. When she talks she sounds like a trucker. A voice affected by too many cigarettes and too much whiskey. Each time I got near her with the camera she stood up and pulled her top down over her tat. This one I had to zoom in from across the room (sorry for the deterioration of the photo) but she was unaware that I got it. My daughter told me this type of tattoo has a slang name. A tramp stamp.

She is the type of gal who comes up to you (even if you are a stranger) and wraps her arms around your neck and puts her face directly in your face to talk. She comes on strong. This photo is where she hung all over a young fellow in a wheel chair. I am sure she made his night. She comes on just a little too strong for my taste. She is always putting her foot in her mouth. Perhaps because of the alcohol?

I did enjoy some conversations with her from time to time over the years. She is a big dog lover. Of course she knows everything there is to know about everything. She has lived a colorful life to say the least. Another expression that comes to mind when you see her "Rode hard and put away wet."

Blueish

That's it! After the rain today I am getting my camera and my daughter's and going out and shooting some new pictures. I am tired of this same old stuff. All I had on this memory card was hydrangea, blurred photos of my pets and a few pics of fully ripe tomatoes and huge sweet onions. Plus about 40 pics of my daughter (she was attempting to get a new facebook pose).

After a lazy week-end, I awoke this morning to very painful eyes. Before I looked at the clock as I lay there after wakening, my eyes still closed, I thought to myself "Is it supposed to rain today?" Because both of my eyeballs hurt like the dickens.

I rolled out of bed. About the 3rd thing I do is take some Advil. Opening the door to let the first varmint outside to do his business I see and smell the rain. You know what? It is an hour later and my eyes still hurt! Blast it. I hate it when the medicine does not work.

I've got the summertime blues. Even though there is a lot going on almost every week-end, we have not been on a real vacation in a couple of years. I think the last trip was to Cincinnati in April of 2007? Yes, I just checked. Sigh. The reunion is a couple of nights away and I guess that will suffice as a vacation again this year. The dogs will have to go to the vet's office for that week-end. The fish and the cats will be on self-feeders.

Cooling off the hydrangea

Yes, I finally went out to Staples and bought another card reader for my daughter's camera's memory stick. The dogs chewed up the camera cable and a card reader is easier to purchase. Less than 24 hours after the purchase I moved my big mammoth computer (still trying to revive it you know) and "voila!" found the card reader I bought her at Christmas.

Yes, folks. My life is the same as yours. Lose something. Go out and buy a new one. Find the old one. Rinse and repeat.

This photo is where I brought some of my hydrangeas in from outside and shot from underneath them looking up towards the ceiling fan.

Sweltering here in Ohio. Due to lack of organization/planning/funds I have not had my furnace/AC checked in a year. My bad. It grinds away. I was so good at having the company come and check it twice a year. Every spring and fall. Without fail. Well, maybe the dogs messing up my downstairs basement to a horrible state might have something to do with it also.

Life goes on after my July blowout. I had so much food left over to get rid of. My daughter and her beau either didn't like the leftovers or they are so much in love with one another they have no appetite, yet. They are planning a camping trip next week-end. Interesting. I am promised pictures of a grass skirt and coconut bra. (Not my daughter wearing them!)

On to planning the reunion. Which is fast approaching. 3 weeks away. We would like to hand over the planning and organizing to somebody closer to the event but we have no takers. So, we plan from a distance and hope for the best.

Movies.

Shutter Island - not as spine tingling as the previews lead you on to believe. A lot of hallucinations and back flashes add to the confusion of the main character's memory. Interesting ending and then a tiny pinch of yet another twist at the very end. Crude language and some male frontal nudity. (No female nudity). The sameness of the uniforms and hairstyles and hats lead me to get a bit confused as to which guard was which. They all looked the same to me! Rather gory in places.

The Book of Eli - sigh. It wasn't "Man on Fire" that's for sure. Although I have to admit - the ending will leave you wanting to watch the movie again for certain clues. I started to watch again, caught a few clues but then was like "No way he could do those things!" G Oldman played the nasty bullying character that he has come to create over the years - same as always. I see that J Beals looks as great as ever. I recognized M Kunis from "That 70's Show". I felt like I knew R Stevenson but looking at imdb.com I can't figure out where. I've not seen any of his priors. The movie bothered me in a couple of places. I was disappointed.

Picking up the pieces

Here is a photo from the past. I think I have some new pics on my camera, but have not had the chance to connect the memory card to the reader to download them to my PC.

I am still so very, very tired from the long week-end. I had a low count of 21 people at my party. That made for a nice, enjoyable get together. The next day it was up to my sister's house where her son was setting off fireworks (and the canon). Gosh, that thing is loud!

I did the baby care during the firework display so I do not have any pictures or movies to post. The wee one slept through the entire show without so much as a whimper. Nobody lost a thumb. It was a close call. There were about a dozen men drinking and there were fireworks. We should probably have an ambulance standing by next time.

Scamp

A shot of Cheech when he was still a wee mischief-maker.

I usually get up at six or six-thirty. Today? The day of my big blow-out party. I slept in until 9 a.m. It figures! (silent scream).

Pics are older because my main computer died. I am using my back-up. I am slowly adding all the extras to it so that I can have sound/back-up/photo card reader and a few other stuff that my monster mammoth system always held for me. I'm not playing taps, yet. When I get the time, I may format the other hard drive and add the OS to see if I can still continue to use my system.

My boxer threw up just as I started typing the post. I'm like, "Oh, goodie! Something else to contend with." The puppy gods are on my side today. Chong cleaned it up for me. Nice puppy! Helping Mommy out. The poor boxer ran to a corner and has not left since. He is sleeping by the back bedroom door where my nephew is sleeping. He likes men so much. I think a guy owned him before I did. People always ask where and how I got him. They still gush over his markings and shape and size. Well, when they aren't amazed at Sable's barrel-shaped frame.

Okay. Enough delay. I have a cake to bake and a couple of cheese balls to whip up. That is for starters. My nephew is doing the outside stuff for me. Yay! That is a good thing because my back is threatening me! I'll take pictures if I can find room in my kitchen to take a decent one without a ton of stuff piled up around the subjects.

Great and Grand

I looked it up. Grand Nephew is just the same as a great nephew. So, I was right all along.

My party is Saturday. My annual July celebration. I have it on whatever day my town is setting off their fireworks. They have a festival in the park (just over the hill from me) for about 3 or 4 days during this long week-end. It is a great time. Sometimes I don't get the chance to get over there, but when I do - I am never disappointed.

So far on the menu, sweet Italian sausage, hot dogs, hamburgs, calico beans, macaroni salad, potato salad, vegetable tray w/dip, cheese ball and cheese tray (I just remembered I need crackers), strawberry frozen, peanut butter fudge, pineapple pudding cake, lemonade, iced tea, pop and beer. Sister 1956 won't be able to make it this year. Drat! She and I just went to a party Saturday so that is okay. She could only go to one or the other (because of her job).

Sister 1954 is excited because there will be some family members she has not seen yet since her release from prison.

I didn't have my party last year because I had my daughter's high school graduation party (remember the sumo wrestling?). That was only one year ago? Good grief!

My daughter's new beau will get the full exposure to family and I think she might be nervous about it. I don't know. She got mad at me last night. I guess I embarrassed her in front of him by telling her to "chill out." She called me on it and accused me of getting an attitude each time company was over. She was stomping around the house trying to force one of the puppies to poop outside. He was so scared he ran and jumped into my lap shaking. (The pup, not the boyfriend).

I think stress is getting the best of her. New job, new beau and all. Me? I bit my tongue with her. I know how hard it is to be the new love interest in some one's home and I refused to make her new beau feel uncomfortable by arguing with her. I let it pass.

I bought my first bag less sweeper. I got the Bissell Healthy Home model. I really like the bag less feature. It was so easy to snap it in and out and to empty it. Once I figured out that I kept putting it back into "brush" mode and that was the reason I was not picking anything up, I was okay. It is much lighter than my previous models.

I am going to focus on outside mowing and landscaping today. I hope. I need energy. My head hurt as soon as I got up this morning. I went to bed too late (vacation days from work) and I suppose that might be the reason. The dogs don't care that I went to bed late, they want to go out at 6 or 6:30. Sooner if they can. I also got myself a brand new hedge trimmer. I have never used one before. I guess you have to supply your own electrical cord? Good thing I have one. My friends spoke of how they cut the cord while they trim. Sounds like it happens a lot. I suppose I will do it, too. I chose the lightest model they had. My arms will be sore enough.

I hate, hate, hate waking up with a headache.

Dog days of summer

Picture from last year in July. Sable watches the new arrivals.

I wonder if she had any idea the chaos that would ensue with the arrival of these two. And then that boxer a month later. Sable's world was about to be turned upside down. Poor girl. She just has not been the same since. Some good, some bad.

She gets to walk more. That is good. She gets to play more. That is good. She had to learn to share. Not so good. She had to put up with a lot this past year. She rebelled by choosing NOT to listen to us from time to time while we are outside. I know she hears me because she gives me the sidelong glance. As if to say "I hear you, but I am going to do what I want to do. So there!" She is testing our limits. Even my daughter says "Sable doesn't listen to me anymore." I know. She is rebelling.

The long days of summer are upon us. My saving grace is that work gets cut short an hour early at the end of the day. I get a head start on things around the house. Especially where the mowing is concerned.

I have not let the daughter's new beau mow yet. He offered to. That is his job at a golf course. To mow and landscape. I figure he does that all day long, he doesn't want to come to our house and mow, too. Daughter has started her job as cashier at a local grocery store. (I had to shake my head in disbelief when she complained about her hours). I cannot believe this girl! They are working her three days a week with 7 1/2 hour shifts. She is outraged. She wanted five days of five hour days or something like that. What! I have three words for her. GET OVER IT! And, I told her so. Grumble, grumble. I am so shocked by her attitude I cannot put it all into words, yet.

Moving on. For some bizarre reason every June (or July) my mother lode computer decides to pass out. An electrical storm shut it off on Tuesday and I have not been able to get it back since. I know that the battery or something has been acting up for a couple of years because each time that the system is shut down unexpectedly it defaults back to the year 2004 and the settings default back to the factory settings of SATA Raid drives. Well, I changed that a year or so ago and it takes a few tweaks but I can usually get things back. Sigh. I believe another hard drive has bit the dust. Good grief.

I am sweeping my floor with my Shop Vac. Slow going. I needed bags, so I went out last evening to purchase some. They cost me $150.00! What?! Ha, ha! Okay, there is a grocery store next to the Ace Hardware. I had not purchased groceries in a few weeks. I was out of everything!

I get a little nostalgic in an Ace Hardware. My first job out of high school was working in an office at an Ace Hardware and Automotive store. I worked six days a week. I was the entire office staff. When the other girl left to get married, they didn't hire another, I just absorbed her work, too. Yeah, young and naive.

OMG! Speaking of nostalgic. Let me tell you something about my personality or nature. I was raised as the youngest of 8 children. I was chubby cheeked and tend to get along with everybody. To say the least I was a favorite and I was spoiled a bit. I guess. That's what one sister never fails to remind me. My retort is "It wasn't MY fault!"

Anyway, I was given the demeaning label of "being a big baby". I guess I cried to Mom or an older sibling each time I was picked on. Pecking order, you know. And the older sibling of whom I was a favorite would retaliate and punch or punish the non-favorite one who had picked on me. Into my teen years I had a couple of siblings that scoffed and laughed at me if I got my car stuck in the snow or something similar. I was teased a lot. I grew up mean. Guess what? Older siblings leave the nest and then you have to fend for yourself. Yeah. I got real mean.

You tease a puppy enough and they turn into one mean bitch. Well, that's my excuse anyway. I hardened my shell quite a bit. Maybe too much. I stopped crying. A long time ago. Crying was a form of weakness and got me called "baby". I vowed that I would never cry.

All is well until the pre-menopause cycle slips in. Again, OMG! I swear it all started the day I received my AARP membership card. It did! If you have not experienced it, you can google the symptoms to see what I am speaking of. I may have to resort to something like taking black cohosh. I was driving to my home office on Tuesday and out of the blue I started crying. And I cried all the way (a little over an hour). I don't mean nose blowing sobs. Just weepy and enough so that your throat hurts and you have to keep wiping your eyes.

I did what I needed to do at the office and then started the drive home again. Again! I cried almost the entire way. It may have been the song sets playing on my CD also. It was so bizarre and out of character for me.

I got home and mowed the grass. I could always blame the watery, red eyes on the grass clippings. By the time I was done mowing my mood had passed and things were back to normal. Huh! I really could do without days like that!

On the movie scene we watched "The Messenger." There was some "t&a" I could have lived without, (it can easily be cut out for the general audience viewing) but the emotional aspect was very good. I thought that B Foster had really come into his own with this picture. A far cry from the first movie I'd seen him in: "Big Trouble". Although I did feel that S Morton acted uncomfortable during the film. She made me feel uneasy. At first I thought maybe she was an inexperienced actor, but upon research - that isn't the case at all.

Almost a year

It has almost been one year since I brought these two rascals into our lives. If I could go back in time would I make the same choice? I gotta tell you. I am not so sure. As I type, they are rolling on the floor mock fighting with one another just having a grand time. What would have happened to them had I not taken them in? One can only wonder. I don't dwell on it often. In fact I think this is the first I have ever wondered about the "what if".

To me "what's done is done." I save the rue for human relationships.

Aw, never mind

I walk the dogs on the average of four times a day. Today was sweltering. I am out 10 minutes and I have sweat rolling down my neck, my hair is soaked. This heat, this humidity - I can't take.... (I look at the above picture) - aw, never mind.

The electric went off right after I got out of the shower this morning. I have not been able to get my big mother lode computer to work since. I can't blame this one on the dogs.

Acceptance

I have come to realize that I just have to accept the fact that I cannot do it all. Yeah, right. I'll say it but I don't practice it. This is the cord from my sweeper. I'll be purchasing a new sweeper. Have you tried to find a business or person that re-cords sweepers? It's the American way. Don't fix it, throw it out and buy new.

I suppose I can take an electrical course at the technical school in town. But, I have to let some things go. I don't have to feel guilty for not being able to do it all.

There used to be a small sweeper repair guy behind our old apartment. It is still advertised but when I dialed the number, the person on the other end said "No, this number is no longer that business." Sigh.

Well, what will it be? I have remained true to the bagged. Is it time to go bag less? With all this pet hair? There are so many models and designs to choose from. It used to be simpler. I had a brother-in-law that worked at Hoovers. Out of loyalty I kept with that brand. That was before pets, though. Hah! Now, I am thinking I should buy sweepers by the dozen. Ugh.

The thunder and lightning has stopped. Time to jump into the shower and get ready for work. Yee haw!

I found a pen, pencil, x-acto knife, magnifying glass and old flash drive chewed and on the floor this morning. Somehow they got up on the table and knocked off a cup that was holding the items.

Six today

Six years old today. The blog, not the flower.

A Father's Love

Caught the movie "Extraordinary Measures" a week or so ago. We like B Fraser and H Ford, so this was no question as to whether or not we should rent it. The movie itself was okay but I really liked the story behind the movie.

Children and gears

My grand nephew is four years old. He received the battery-operated jeep for his last birthday. His grandfather mock races him while on his riding mower. My grand nephew wins four out of five times.

But what really amazes me is the way he shifts the gears. He pulls the jeep up to us, jams the gear shift into reverse, swings the jeep's nose around while backing up and jams the gear into drive (or forward) and he is off again.

Four years old and he is driving like a gear head already. Like computers it must come naturally to them. If not naturally, then the predisposition to learn the task quickly.

Oh, and I rarely (if ever) buy Spaghettio's and NEVER the kind with the little meatballs in them - is that really meat in there? Anyway, there is a recall. And stop sniffing the Tylenol.

Roar

I didn't think anything could choke out these babies, but it looks as if my tiger lilies may be taking a back burner compared to my western salsify. I will need to get a handle on this situation before it gets out of control.

I am trying to stick with the orange flowers in the front yard. So far, so good.

I may have killed my mower last evening. I was finishing up and I have a tree in the front by my sidewalk with many roots and bumps. I lowered my mower at the beginning of this year (if you remember my daughter's old boyfriend mowed last year and come to find out he had the blade up very high). Well, I hit a stump and the mower choked and died. Smoke began pouring out of the engine and I stopped. I had enough anyway. I was whipped. Since the blade is lower I have been using the bagger and I had filled four huge leaf and lawn bags full of clippings. I used the biodegradable ones this time. They tear and don't seem to hold as much but I feel better knowing that I am not putting 55 gallon 1.3 ml plastic bags into the landfill. And for some stupid reason my bagger decided to keep falling off the mower near the end of my job. I guess it had enough, too.

If you've mown with a bagger in the back of your mower and it falls off, you know that you get a face full of grass dust. I was a mess by the end of the evening. I don't think I have allergies but I was a mess with runny nose, itchy eyes and coughing. I think it is a normal reaction to all the grass clippings and dust.

I already wear big race car type headphones and a wet cloth on my head, leather gloves along with yellow safety glasses. If I start wearing a mask over my nose and mouth my neighbors are just going to call the funny farm on me, I swear! Not a one of them wear safety glasses, or head phones. Not a one! Not even the older lady across the street who mows with an electric mower. I feel like such a wuss.

My daughter landed a job as a cashier in a local grocery store here in town. They call it seasonal but we have hope it will turn into something more permanent with benefits. Regardless, her self esteem with be boosted and she will feel so much better. And, it's my favorite grocery store.

Whispers

I can't forget this one. Not much color, but awesome in it's Spirograph design.

Color bursting

Colors are bursting all over my lawn. Here is one of the Gaillardia.

The tiger lily.

And my hydrangea did very well this year.

Waiting

Sable says, "I'll just wait here until you are finished taking pictures. Let me know when you are ready to go for a walk." She is content to rest and watch the world go by. Like me, she has mellowed with age. She has been acting very lethargic the past week or so. Me, too. I have been in a lot of pain (mostly my hands) and she seems to be very sore when she tries to get up. I blame it on the weather. Rainy and wet. Brings out the aches and pains.

Am off and running today. A birthday party. Not really my crowd but sister 1956 is having the party for her son. He turned 32. They drink and play guitar. It looks like rain. I am fixing some food. Cheese ball/tray, buffalo chicken dip (my first time), and my famous macaroni salad. I say famous because it is fast becoming one of the most requested food items that I bring to a get together now (used to be cheese ball, then calico beans).

I put bread & butter pickles in mine along with the juice. I also add sliced green olives to mine. Hey, I like it and other folks like it. I also discovered that I like to use generic salad dressing instead of Miracle Whip or Hellmann's mayonnaise. The generic salad dressing has the right consistency and flavor to make it work.

Daughter's new boyfriend has left for Va Beach with family and she is going through withdrawal. She does have a job interview today. He text messages her every five minutes (I swear!). He is 20 and she is 19. He works full time, goes to school (although he said he hates it) - one more thing they have in common. It is a different set up than the boyfriend before who is 18 and will be starting his 11th year at high school. (Home schooling can really mess some kids up if they or their parents are not disciplined.) They had been dating (with two major breaks) since June of 2005.

Prior boyfriend was a vegetarian and always had his male buddies around and was constantly going off and riding bikes or mud riding with friends leaving daughter behind. Current boyfriend hunts and has deer head hanging on the walls of his home (oh, goody! - that's sarcasm, folks). Two strikes. They actually eat the deer meat and he smokes. Daughter said he has quit smoking before so perhaps he can quit again. I have nothing against folks who eat deer meat, it just is not our cup of tea. Current beau attempts to spend every waking minute with daughter. Older Mom understands that is the nature of the beast when relationships are in their honeymoon phase. Daughter hates Mom's cynicism.

Relationships end and relationships change. We are moving on. Me? I'm just trying to keep up with all my critters, pay the bills and mowing the grass on a regular basis. I am exhausted most of the time. The nice thing about my job is during the summer we cut back a bit on our hours. That helps.

Me have baby time

I had baby time yesterday. For long time. It was quite pleasant. Very good baby. Fussed a little because Peruby was not used to holding a wee infant and had to struggle a little until we both got comfortable. Peruby very adamant about burping half way through the bottle and wee one didn't care for that, but hey, "Rules is rules".

Sigh. Sometimes there is nothing sweeter than a warm, snugly baby sleeping on your shoulder wrapped in swaddling blankets and warm and sleeping and comfortable and sleeping. Oh, and when you are holding the baby you don't have to set the table or help fix dinner or color with the 4-year-old (which I really like to do), or take the dogs out... just hold the sleeping baby. And since you don't get to see the baby very often, you are allowed to hold them while they are sleeping - you don't have to lay them in their portable sleeper/playpen. grin.

Ended up with my sister giving me a big container of homemade cookies and I left them too close to the edge of my dining room table. This morning? Gone. And, to add insult to injury - the lid was chewed up. Plastic - chewed. Not a crumb of a cookie to be found. I'm not telling her. I'll confess the lid chewing in a week or so, but I am not saying a word about the cookies that I am sure took a long time to make and bake.

Summer is coming

I knew the name of this flower when I bought it. I think I may have bought one plant or two. It has taken off. I planted them near my front porch step along with my orange tiger lilies. The lilies are getting ready to bloom, too. I think they are being polite and will wait their turn so they can bask in their own glory. After these guys.

My boxer chewed completely through the sweeper cord. Chewed the plug right off the end of it. If possible, I'll find somebody who can re-cord it. I probably will get a new one anyway. This one was starting to make awful noises. I have not had the boxer a year and I know the sweeper is newer than that. When I brought the sweeper home the boxer tried to chew through the cord, then. I wrapped it with electrical tape. This boxer must really have something against the noise of the sweeper. Pets are rough on them.

Schools are finished for the summer and the staff is wrapping up and preparing to leave. Things are slowing down at work. Since not many districts have any money things will be very slow this summer. I worked a bit with a java script the past couple of weeks (got it working) and may continue to study that this summer. I do have a new project that I will be starting at the end of this month. I hope it is exiting and gives me something to look forward to in the workday.

I Am

As usual, the picture has nothing to do with the post

The bridge spans a koi pond built by my brother-in-law after his retirement. The little boy is the youngest son of a nephew's girlfriend. As we tend to do, we have absorbed them into our family with no questions asked and plenty of love. That is our way.

No prejudice. Well, I try anyway. I have fallen victim to laughing at a politically incorrect joke from time to time. Mostly in my younger years when I wasn't strong enough to stand up to other people. Then I went through a phase where I challenged those that told the jokes. Now I am at the stage where I don't laugh, I ignore them - they get no reaction from me and I don't waste my time with them.

I watched "Invictus". Before posting about the movie, I wanted to research it. To get my facts straight. Okay, that was three hours ago. Yes, folks. I have been reading about Nelson Mandela, Winnie, apartheid, South Africa and the poet William Ernest Henley for the past three hours. C'mon! You should know me by now. I'll do anything to get out of housework and yard work.

Poet Henley brings me to the title of my post. "I Am". This can get complicated. I started with Nelson. I continued with apartheid, read a little on Winnie (she just scares me) and South Africa. Then I started on the poem by Henley. During the movie when the poem was read in the back ground I wondered to myself, "Hmmm. I wonder what the name of that poem is?" Silly me.

I googled almost every line of the poem. Come to find out that none other than the coward T McVeigh used the poem to express himself. Forget him. Well, don't forget him and what he did but forget the fact that he thought himself a hero.

The religious undertones of the poem were an interesting read. Many folks deciphered the poem that Henley was an atheist or at least in my opinion an agnostic. Some folks say that he had to know that "I Am" is Hebrew for "God". Interesting.

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Well, I wonder if Neil Diamond knew that when he wrote his song? The article does mention this reference when speaking of Jan Rot's version.

Regardless, the poem is powerful and inspiring in my book.

During my research, I came to remember other African movies full of strife that I have watched over the past couple of years. Three came to mind, "The Country of My Skull (In My Country)", "Blood Diamond" and "The Last King of Scotland". In My Country is set during the apartheid, the other two are different countries altogether.

Sigh. It is time. Time to clean. My daughter is bringing a new boyfriend to the house today. Gee, I hope he likes dogs.

Oops. Almost forgot. Had a wonderful reunion with sister 1954 last evening. My daughter, myself, sister and my nephew sat and talked for two hours after dinner (much to the dismay of the waitress and waiter-in-training). Everything was perfect except for my daughter's undercooked salmon. Twice! We sent the first one back and when the second one came, she was satisfied with just eating the edges which were done to a perfect flakiness and just left the thick soupy middle.

We did a lot of catching up, and took some "horrible" pictures which are not worth posting - the restaurant was very dark (probably so people wouldn't notice the undercooked food). I am now facing another very, very rainy day in the Ohio wetlands. My grass is definitely going to need a brush hog before I can get to it. Hey, wait! The daughter's new beau works in landscaping - you think? Nah! Do not go there! LOL!

I may as well throw this in, too. Since I am stalling. The electricity was off in my neighborhood for 7 hours yesterday. From 5:30 to 12:30. As the day wore on (with the monsoon making the day as dark as late evening) I noticed a stupid headache developing and not responding to my migraine medication. I was getting upset because I was really looking forward to this dinner we had planned. I even drank an alka-seltzer. At about 3:00 it dawned on me. Coffee! Caffeine withdraw. Idiot! After three cups of java and a nice hot shower I was back in form and ready to meet.

Support

My grand nephew had some support when he had his tonsils removed on Friday.

Electricity has been off here during the monsoons in Eastern Ohio the past few days. Trying to keep my head above water (figuratively). Many roads are closed in the area due to flooding. Not much time to post.

Meeting family for dinner in Roscoe Village tonight.

Calico beans

I start with a large can of baked beans. This holiday I used Bush's original baked beans. I brown a pound or so of ground beef. I drain the meat before I add it to the beans. I fry bacon until it is crispy and crumble it in. Two or three slices, the rest of the bacon I freeze or give to the dogs as treats all week long. They love it.

I add a cup and a half of brown sugar. 14 oz or so of ketchup. One teaspoon of mustard. I drain the rest of the beans. Kidney, butter beans, black beans, baby green limas - this makes it colorful and gives it the calico effect. I add more beans if I have them and until the crock is almost full. I save the juice from the rest of the cans of beans in case the mixture becomes dry and I need to add more juice. Refrigerate it until you need it. I rarely need it.

I slice a little bit of a sweet onion in there. I'll use a cooking onion sometimes if I don't have the sweet. Sometimes I omit the onion. Mix it all up in the crock pot and cook on low for four to six hours.

My apologies ahead of time for the after effects of bean eating.

lb

Little Brother

I got a lot of baby-time this holiday. It was blessed hot. We passed him around. I wouldn't let sister 1956 hold him until she wiped most of the deet (OFF) off of her arms. Hee, hee. Myself, I only put the stuff on my legs. So, I have five or six bites on my arms. Criminy!

My macaroni salad and calico beans went over very well. Not so for the salami pinwheels. Oh, well. I still had the Italian Sausages at home, but ended up sending that back with my nephew. I've had my fill of beans and hot dogs for a while.

It was very hard to get back into the work groove today. Tired and all. My alarm is messed up on my clock/radio/iPod player. Who knows what I did to it!? My cell phone alarm didn't work either (I set it as my backup). I must be losing my technological touch! Oh no! Good thing my mental alarm woke me up at 5:45.

Sister 1954 is home after her three-year lockup. Has it been that long? Sometimes it seems longer. I talked to her a little on the phone tonight. She is going about a million miles an hour. I told her to take it easy and rest. She wants to do and see and taste everything. I won't be able to visit with her until the week-end. If even then. I'll drive the 2 hours to see her if they can't meet me in the middle. She is tied to 180 straight AA meetings. Good grief!

The poppies blow

In Flanders fields, the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row...

I give you the first two lines of the poem "In Flanders Fields" a poem by John McCrae. Thus inspiring another poem "We Shall Keep the Faith" by Moina Michael. Now, each time I see my poppies I will think of the fallen soldiers that created a life for us. For this I am eternally thankful.

Sweet!

I added fresh vidalia onions with green/red/orange and yellow peppers to the sweet Italian sausage in the crock pot.

On low for over 8 hours, they did cut like butter when you ate them. Not shown here is the spaghetti sauce that I added, nor the mozzarella cheese.

This was for my Saturday company - they loved it. Today I am taking salami pinwheels, cheese ball/tray with crackers and calico beans. Camera is ready!

All of them

I robbed both peony bushes and cut every bloom and stuck them in a huge vase with water and put them in my kitchen. On the stove. I had quite a few ants the first day and the daughter complained mightily but I stuck with it. Every hour or so I would go and smack the blooms. Some petals fell off now and again, but mostly about 5 ants would drop and I would squish, squish, squish.

My daughter says she hates flowers and the kitchen smells like beer. She always thinks fresh cut flowers smell like beer. What the heck? I put the flowers on the stove because the cats try to eat any live plants I bring into the house. Usually it is Jasper. I have not seen him even try this year. Wow. Maybe I can put them in the living room the next time? Eh - better not. I don't want them to knock the vase over in there.

They are mostly dead, now. The blooms I plucked and put in a vase. The poppies are really dropping off. Orange petals all over the lawn where they grow. I was able to finally lower the mower blades and get the grass to a shorter status. It took me all day Friday (in the heat I had to take many breaks). I ended up with five huge leaf bags full of grass clippings. I did not wear a hat, but I did take two wet wash cloths and folded them over my head and held them on with my headphones. I am not a fashion plate by any stretch of the imagination. And, I don't pretend to be.

I have my niece and nephew coming to stay Saturday for the week-end. I am fixing Italian sausage sandwiches in the crock pot. I brown sweet Italian sausages and move them to a crock pot full of spaghetti sauce with sliced sweet onions and green and red peppers. I'll make some macaroni salad, too. We will have our fill of hot dogs and hamburgers tomorrow at the family cook-out.

I love it when the sausages slow cook long enough to cut like soft butter when I serve them. I serve them on soft hoagie buns and top them off with mozzarella cheese. I might even bore you with pictures.

My daughter, her guy friend and I caught "Iron Man 2" at the theater the other night. Sometimes I make an exception and risk the noise and flashing lights. I had some earplugs but they hurt too much and I took them out. The flashing lights were awful. It was not as good as the first one. Not much "hero" story line in this at all. I do not like M Rourke but I have to admit - he played his part well. We went late on a week night and had the entire place to ourselves.

I thought that G Paltrow looked very good with a little color to her face. She was not so pale in this feature. I always enjoy S Rockwell, whether he is playing a bad guy or the funny sidekick. And I just gotta say this. Once. K Mara just creeps me out. And I did not mind Cheadle playing the role instead of Howard. I've let it go.

Hey there!

Here is sister 1956 holding the latest addition to our family.

Babies. A new life. A clean slate. Forming, adjusting. What a crazy world he is going to see, huh?

Come on!

Slade wants me to walk more, take pictures less

He is a patient dog, but he also gets quite irritated with me. Eventually he wanders off on his own, but he usually gets an attitude and won't come back when I call him. He gets so tired of me taking pictures of flowers. Even more so, he hates it when I take pictures of him.

I have this week off from work. My daughter and I drove a bit Friday evening checking out places that will install a chain-link fence. She is really pushing for one. I am pushing for pulling up the living room carpet and installing a wooden floor. My push will have to wait because we don't know what we are going to do with the huge, gargantuan organ in our living room. We can barely move it a foot or two. I don't know how anyone will get it out the door.

If I am going to apply for that job I was speaking of earlier, I am going to have to get my resume finished today because tomorrow is the deadline for turning them in. I am so nervous about it. A little bit worried about them not even considering me. That will be a sobering experience. More worried about them considering me, interviewing me, and offering me the position. Then I would have to make a decision. A life-altering decision. Isn't it so much easier to just sit back and let the deadline pass and take a big sigh and just roll with life? It would take a lot of energy to change positions. The new job would be a challenge. I don't know, I don't know.

Been seeing a lot of these

Seems like almost everybody has a purple or magenta rhododendron in their yard in my neighborhood. I can understand why. They are beautiful. I have always loved this flowering bush. I've considered trying to grow one myself but can never decide on the color.

The flowers that were here before I moved in were the orange poppies, the violet-red azaleas and the white moonflowers. Before I knew about them I purchased the two pink peonies, one on each side of my house. They are blooming great.

I added some red tulips (a huge favorite of mine) which really don't do very well. I added the blue hydrangea (but that is next to the patio, not the house). I wanted mostly orange flowers to contrast against the dark gray of the house, like the poppies - the color seems to "pop" out.

But my azaleas in the front of the house are a beautiful violet red. They would probably bloom in and around the same time and I figure that would look silly together. That is if I plant it in the front of the house. If I plant it on either side it would contrast with the pink peony. Sigh. Nobody would see it in the back of the house.

So, nothing gets planted. No rhododendrons, anyway. I'd better get out there and plant my moonflower seeds or I won't have any of them this year. Somehow I manged to delete them from the side of my house last year and only had them near the patio. I picked all the seeds off of them to save for this year.

First poppy of the year

And, of course, my shadow.

Peonies are coming along

With a little help from their ant friends.

I am so "sleepy" tired. Maybe it's the rain. I don't know. I think I slept all night. I remember a horrible dream, but that was early this morning. I was recovering from somebody cutting my right side with a saw. Hey, I just dream 'em, I don't try to figure them out. Well, yes I do, really. What does it mean? I have no idea with this one.

So, what did I accomplish this week-end? Before the rain? Not one page of a book! Not one sentence. Housework. Just clothes, kitchen and bathroom. So, what got done? Outside work! How could I forget I had a ton of outside work to do? And the weather was nice. My grass was so long, I had to use the grass catcher. That was a real hoot. The mulcher flap had not been lifted in years and I thought it needed a lever or something. Finally my daughter just gave it a good yank and it lifted up. Whew. I don't recall how many times I had to empty the bagger, but let's just say I waited too long on a couple of trips.

Then it hit me. While mowing I knew I was doing it. But, I kept going. Mowing is one of those things that if you stop you are afraid you won't get going again. It was hot out. It was sunny. Yep. I am sensitive to the sun. I am getting thin on top. (Not getting thin anywhere else, oh no!) But my hair is getting thin. This leaves my head exposed. I had my headphones on, but the wicked sun got me anyway.

The headache started Sunday night. I went to bed hoping I could sleep it off. Silly me! What a night that was. I made it to work on Monday (barely). The migraine meds helped a lot. After work I returned to the scene of the crime. Blankets were twisted up everywhere. There were wash cloths and towels strewn about.

During the night (Sunday) during a migraine, I get a wash cloth as cold as I can and put it against my forehead. To keep my pillow from getting soaked I lay a couple of towels on it. The wash cloth heats up faster than you can imagine. I had the fan blowing on me directly. I was at the foot of the bed, in the middle of the bed. Yep. It was a long night.

Anyway, I hope to have some pretty pictures of poppies and peonies here soon. The rain is coming down in buckets this morning. I have to take the dogs out in this, I don't feel like bringing a camera out, too.

Keeping score

Friday evening

Books 0
Housecleaning 0
Movies 1

Heh, heh. Watched Precious last evening. Mixed feelings. Myself, I would wonder why the girl didn't live with her grandmother, but I suppose that is the only way her Mother can get the welfare check (under the premise that Precious and Mongo live with her).

Not certain if I will read the book.

Bonding

Photo courtesy of sister 1944.

This tot above is my sister's second grandson. She is SO close to the first grandson that she felt (when the second was born) that she would not be able to bond with him. I think this latest photo she took of him will help.

I had to chuckle when she told me her fear. The first is always very special, but I am sure in no time at all she will be just as wrapped up in this one's life. Oh, yes.

The last time I was with him (a month ago) he slept the entire time or ate.

I am enjoying good coffee and relishing in the fact that this is Friday and I have NO plans for the week-end! Shhhh! I can't say it too loud, 'cause I will jinx it. Of course I plan to mow the grass, clean the house a bit and wash a mountain of laundry - but I mean no plans as in getting together and traveling anywhere. Ahhh.

Oh, oh, oh! I also have more books from the library. Oh dear. Will the house get cleaned? Will the grass get mowed? Or will the books get read? Ha, ha! Tune in on Sunday or Monday to see what wins. Evil grin.

On a side note, I had my annual evaluation at work yesterday. Stellar marks. Stellar! And, I also got a nice comment about how I have managed to turn things around (my sarcastic and caustic wit from about 4 years ago). My managers who evaluated me all agree that working with the co-worker that I had in my office for 8 hours a day would drive anyone over the edge. They all believe that she was the bane of my attitude and who knows? Maybe they are correct. I'll take it. I am getting great reviews, I am getting more responsibility (as in GOOD things to challenge me) and I am hoping to put all the ugliness behind me.

And with that, I'll add this. I am going to apply for another job the end of this month. It takes weeks for them to interview so I may not hear anything for a long time, but I am putting my heart and soul into it.

Sound strange? Yes, possibly. But, I don't shrug things off so easily. By this time next year I can just as easily be back on their sh!t list. I have watched them for 15 years. I am going to strike while (my) iron is hot.

My progressing field

My lily of the valley patch. I had to cut a huge rose of sharon bush (tree) down - you can see the stump just right of the center, a very light color stump.

This is one side of my garage facing the alley. I cannot really get my mower up close to the side of the garage (without marking up the side with the mower handle) so I would like my lily of the valley to grow all along the side. The rose of sharon was inhibiting this growth.

I want a field of them (like my neighbor who lives up the alley). They smell so wonderful when I walk my dogs past their yard.

Sable rolls

Sable never passes up a chance to have her back scratched. Here she is rolling around in the grass letting the rough ground scratch her back for her.

She was "feeling her oats" when we were outside on Monday. I noticed while walking her this morning (yes, I took them out an hour ago at 4:30 a.m.) that she walked slower and dragged her feet. Of course it could have been too early for her. I know it was for me.

Blame the boxer. He was the one that woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep. Blah!

Which does not set me in the best of moods for today. I have scheduled a troubleshooting segment today for what I hate the most about my job. Video. I don't do this part very often. You know how I love to solve a mystery. Not this one. I could care less about choppy video or video with no sound. I am not sure why. Probably because it deals with people interacting. I like machines.

This got dropped into my lap when nobody else could get anywhere with it. It will go like this. Peruby will check the physical cables/machine/equipment. The school will tell me that they have had problems since the beginning of time. I mean since the beginning of the school year. So-and -so, and so-and-so have been working on it. The video gets better, and then the next week it is choppy again. It is self-healing, it is never ending. It is a mystery and it is frustrating. Nothing is consistent.

They want me to test when they are not in a session. This means I call some test sites and stay connected for two minutes looking at a wall somewhere in a building in Columbus. This tells me nothing. The wall doesn't move or talk. How the heck can I tell if the video is choppy? How can I tell if the audio is cutting out? Walls don't talk. At least not in my world. Yet. You cannot troubleshoot when twenty-five students are sitting in a room watching a live autopsy. I know! Talk about "choppy". Sorry.

What I really hate is you troubleshoot something for hours and hours and come to find out - oh, wait a minute. I will hear "We called another school (outside of my organization's network) and they are all having the same issue. It is something at the state level." In other words I could have worked until the cows came home and there would never be a solution. I am telling you, this is how it is going to end up.

Bah!

Their favorite new treat

The pups have a favorite new treat. Ice cubes. This photo makes me kind of sad. As I walked closer to get a better shot, Cheech looks at me very nervously as if I am going to take the ice cube away from him.

They love ice cubes. Poor Slade (the boxer). His mouth/teeth cannot pick up or handle ice cubes very well. He is usually left wondering what to do with it or gets his stolen by those crafty, sly, sneaky, thieving pups.

The party Saturday night was a huge hit. I managed to post 270 pictures and a great video of the birthday gal dancing a solo number. That takes guts but she can pull it off. (Nothing indecent!) I'll get some of the photos posted here in the next week or so.

I spent Mother's Day with a huge headache that got worse as the day went on. I ended up being physically sick by evening. My daughter was here and she did everything for me. Taking care of me here and there. Little did I know that she herself was getting very sick. She had a horrible night Sunday night and by Monday (since I was feeling much better) I was off to the store to get her the Popsicles, Italian ice, ginger ale, jell-o, Tylenol and applesauce. I spoke to her last night, she is still sick. My two questions are "Are you comfortable and out of pain?" She said she was and I told her to give me an update in the morning.

It has started to rain this morning. I did not get the grass mowed as I wanted to. I just did not have the energy last night. I felt wiped out. If I can trust the weather channel I may be able to get to the grass this week-end. Looks like we have rain predicted every day this week. Sigh.

I am enjoying my job right now. I have some wonderful activities that are keeping me occupied and happy. What does the future hold with the new arrangement? Time will tell.

I always feel like.....

...somebody's watching me.

LOL! Can you see him? The song "Somebody's Watching Me" was a hit for Rockwell in 1984. While taking the dogs on a walk this morning I grabbed my camera. This is the field where I used to let the dogs run. Now there is a "NO TRESPASSING" sign near the entry way into the field. They caught onto me and no more free range for us.

I've seen this critter perched here before. I was not aware he was there when I snapped this photo of him, but I have many more pics where I just focused on him once I saw that he was watching us.

I have a busy day today. I have to make 3 cheese trays and 3 cheese balls, wrap the gifts and take them to the party tonight. It starts at 4 and is an hour's drive away for me. I am the official picture taker tonight. I wanted to warm up a little with the camera. The dogs chewed my wrist strap. I am missing that.

I helped to decorate last evening at the hall. It is very nice and I'll have pics to show you. It was so humid and hot, though. Somebody finally turned the air on before we left. I am thinking even though it will be chilly tonight we are going to need that A/C.

Stalled

I wish this bush bloomed for three months and grew in my living room. Wait. Not three months, I'd probably get real tired of it. Regardless, it should definitely bloom for longer than it does. All the science and horticulture - can't they (whoever "they" are) create a lilac that will last longer?

I am tired of dogs. I am tired of poop. Hey, I am tired. Just plain tired. I was in a meeting yesterday and (of course) I didn't sleep well the night before. I believe I am having pre-menopause symptoms. Big time. It didn't help any that I get the AARP card membership in the mail this week. Thanks. Now I am really dragging and feeling tired.

Anyway, I ended the day with a slight headache. Not intense, just enough so that it was not responding to OTC medication. I chalked it up to being overly warm, dehydrated and lack of sleep. Any or all of the above. I turned my air conditioner on, drew a huge glass of ice water and sat down in my t.v. chair. I caught the movie "Strangers in Good Company".

Oh my, was it good. Since I knew they were not really stranded (because of the cameras) I could not get over how "real" their facial images and remarks were. I don't believe these ladies were real actors, either. Come to find that a lot of the lines were ad-libbed. I really enjoyed it. I did doze off now and again and I missed the beginning but I hope to catch it again sometime.

I had a gazillion things to do. I did nothing. A friend called and I agreed to help decorate for Saturday's party on Friday evening. (A big milestone birthday for a close friend). That leaves tonight. Tonight for me to get everything done that I need to get done. Oh, mea culpa!

Coming Up

We are starting to plan our second annual reunion. We don't feel the need to travel down to West Virginia this spring to scope out a spot. The spot is the same as last year. We are going to have an ice breaker the evening before the event, though.

The food, my God, the food! As you can see, we are big eaters. No alcohol. I'm not sure, but the night before may be drinks - I didn't think about it. Not sure if it is in a social hall that allows alcohol or not.

The entire family and booze do not mix well. There are bound to be plenty of fights if alcohol is involved. Best we leave that out of it, but I can't control that many people. We do well enough choosing a park that does not permit the stuff. Now, for my patio party of 40 and less, I can serve alcohol and control the people. I have certain family members who do not drink that would be there to help me and though I may be the youngest in my immediate family I can whip their asses. Ha, ha! Right! Actually I have thrown men twice my size out of a house. They run from me. They were not related to me, though. I was a real peach when I drank whiskey, let me tell you. Most people had to tell me what I did and it was not pretty. I was a mean drunk.

So most of us - if we can't drink - we eat. Trade one addiction for another. I am so glad my drinking days are over. Or appear to be. We never know when that monster will rear it's ugly head again.

Just as my shoulder is healing, I decide to mow last evening. I had to take a break in the middle, but I finished it. My shoulder did not bother me one bit.

My boxer followed me into the bedroom when I got home from a hair appointment this evening and as I bent down to pat him on the head and give him a little lovin' he decides to jump up and onto the bed. He didn't make it. His hard head hit my jaw bone directly under my right eye. I thought he had busted it.

I cursed at him and fell onto the bed. He sulked away. I felt bad and of course it isn't broken, but that is the third time I have had a hard collision of some sort with him. Holy cow!

I certainly hope there is no mark on my face tomorrow. I have a big regional meeting and I have to be there. I can see me trying to explain a big bruise or red mark on my face to people. I am always getting cuts and bruises on my arms because of clearing the yard and brush and rough housing with my dogs. Sigh. Whatever.

Nope. No mark or bruise. It barely hurts now.

Now, to go make it up to the sorry, sad pooch. He is a lot like Eeyore. He is! He hangs his head down (droopy like) and sulks just like the donkey.

Giving them some sunlight

At the back of my garage are some little bluebell flowers. They don't have much of a chance because the rose of sharon is out of control. This is why I was trying to chop them down - so the less fortunate (weaker) plants could have more of a chance.

Like in life. The American way. Helping out the weaker ones so that they can have a better future.

My plant trimming is all on the back burner now that I hurt myself. Maybe by next week I can resume. Maybe I'll buy myself an electric hedge trimmer or something that will cut it easier. It's holding the device up that hurts. I try to run the weed trimmer, but gave up on that also. That upper arm strength. Bah!

Maybe I should start lifting weights.

Rain this week-end. I worked on indoor stuff.

My life is still an out of control circus.

I got a little further into "The Blind Side". I am skipping the football stuff. Boring!

I watched the derby yesterday, but just couldn't get into it. The show was too long. By the time the race ran, I was tired of it all. I think that they are entering horses in teams, three from one owner and set it up so that two of the team take out a contender so that the third member of the team can get ahead. That is what it looked like to me.

No movies to comment on except a television one - the 2005 version of "Little House on the Prairie". I caught this one the other day and watched most of it. Loved it. Did not get to see the beginning, caught it somewhere in the middle.

I slept more than 10 hours last night (I know!), so I am not very sleepy, yet. I have no idea when that kind of sleep is going to hit me. Like Thursday night I slept about 3 hours and could not get back to sleep, but when I saw the clock read 9:45 this morning I could not believe my eyes. It isn't medicine induced. I took nothing yesterday, such as muscle relaxer or Advil p.m. or anything. Who knows?

Some folks say "You must have needed it" - well, I just tried not to think of the migraine monkey today. It didn't happen. Usually after a long sleep I will get one.

So now we have May. Lily of the valley. Another batch of plants I am trying to get going in my yard. Not doing so well. Up the alley from where I walk the dogs, a house has some big pine trees in their back yard. Underneath the grass doesn't grow so well and they have a thousand lily of the valley plants blooming there. They have just started blooming but I can smell them when I walk past. It is the type of flower if you smell just one or two you think "big deal" but when you see a whole batch of them - the smell is quite heavenly.

All right. I guess I'll go to bed. 5:00 comes quickly and I know I won't want to get up. Ugh!